by Stasia Black
Then again, they sure used her up every time, all four or even five of them having her in one night sometimes. He couldn’t imagine how she managed it—how she managed them. She not only put up with all of their bullshit but she kept it from tearing them apart.
It was because of her they were a family.
He didn’t know family could be like this.
You sad sack of shit, do you know how bad it makes me look when my own son can’t pass his MCATs on his first try? You made me look like a fool today! But then, I don’t know why I expected any different from such a disappointment like you. I’ll swear to my last breath that your mother whored herself out and you’re some other man’s bastard because you’re certainly no son of mine.
Jesus, hadn’t they resurrected enough ghosts today?
He leaned his forehead against Vanessa’s shoulder blade. Her slight jump at the contact gave away even more that she wasn’t sleeping.
Was she running Logan’s rejection over and over in her head the same way Cam’s dad’s seemed to spin on an endless loop in his?
Cam pressed a kiss to her back, right between her spine and her shoulder blade. Instead of stiffening, she relaxed back against him.
Atta girl.
The next second, though, she was trying to squirm away.
No. Please.
Because the truth was, he needed this as much as she did. For all the facades he tossed up, for all his fucking posturing…
It was all bullshit.
He was a fraud.
And a hypocrite.
Because what Logan had said to Vanessa outside tonight? It was no worse than Cam had said to her the day they met.
But it was time to tell his truth.
He smoothed his hand through her hair and then whispered in her ear from behind, “You’re beautiful, do you know that? God, the first time I saw you up close, you scared the shit out of me.”
His body was cemented so close to hers, he felt her little jolt of surprise at his words. But he didn’t let up, he just caressed a hand down the front of her body. Down her neck to the valley between her breasts. Then back up again.
He had a hard on, he usually did whenever Vanessa’s body was anywhere near this close, but this wasn’t about that. Or well, not just about that. So he shifted his hips back even while continuing to hold her tight.
“All that time I’d waited and then there you were, beautiful and wild and glorious and I was scared shitless.”
She tried to turn her head to look back at him but he just hugged her tight to him from behind, notching his head in between her shoulder and neck. He needed to tell her his truth, but part of that truth was that he was a fucking coward. And he wasn’t sure he could get this out if she was looking him in the eye.
“So I did what I always do. I tried to push you away first before you could realize what a fucking useless, spineless waste of space I am.”
No matter how tight he held her, though, she twisted out of his grasp and rolled them over, pinning him to the ground on his back.
Her breaths came in quick pants and even though it was almost pitch dark in the tent, when Cam felt the wetness splash on his cheek, he knew what it was. Fuck. He’d made her cry.
“Don’t cry,” he whispered. “Never fucking cry for me.”
He dragged her down and kissed her tears away.
And then he spoke his final truth. The truth that had changed everything. The truth that had changed him and was changing him still every day.
“I love you, wild woman.”
She let out a choked cry.
If anyone had been sleeping, they weren’t now.
The twins helped Cam pull Vanessa’s camisole and underwear off and Michael whispered words of love, too, and the twins, as one after the other, they made sweet love to their wife.
Halfway through, Logan shoved the tent flap open and stormed out but Cam only took Vanessa’s face in his hands and kissed her to bring her back into the moment with them.
Logan could go fuck himself.
Tonight was about cherishing Vanessa.
Afterwards, they all fell into a sweaty, exhausted sleep. With Cam’s last conscious moment, he intertwined his hand with Vanessa’s, toying with her fingers and he thought, this, this is what I want for the rest of my life.
But in the morning, when he woke up, his hand was empty.
“Where’s Vanessa?” Cam asked groggily, scrubbing at his eyes as morning light illuminated the tent.
“Hmm?” Riordan asked, eyes still closed. He didn’t offer anything else and Cam rolled his eyes. Fucker was probably already asleep again.
Logan was also nowhere to be seen but that was hardly surprising. Bastard had probably slept outside on a cactus rather than be warm and cozy next to their wife.
Cam unzipped the tent flap, still scrubbing at his eyes.
But then he looked up and what he saw turned his blood to ice.
The camp site was a mess. The cookfire hadn’t been started yet, but a bag of cornmeal was half spilled on the ground, along with several cracked eggs and an upturned pot.
Fresh eggs were like gold. No one was careless with them.
But the thing that really had Cam’s heart stopping in his fucking chest was the single flip flop flung haphazardly at the edge of the campsite.
Flung… or lost as the person wearing it was dragged away.
“Get up!” Cam shouted, reaching for his boots and shoving them on. “Get the fuck up! Something’s happened to Vanessa.”
Chapter Twenty-Six
VANESSA
One Hour Earlier
Vanessa woke when the tent was barely lit with the light from the burgeoning dawn. She looked around. Her fingers were still entwined with Cam’s. Everything he’d confessed last night—finally busting down all his walls and baring himself completely like that—
She bent down and kissed the back of his hand with the barest whisper of her lips. She didn’t want to wake him. When she peeled her fingers away from his, he stirred but then when she froze, he settled back in to sleep.
Beautiful man.
All of them.
Her gaze swept across the tent. She grinned seeing the twins, Riordan’s arm slung across Ross’s face. And Michael on his mat covered in a silk sheet at the bottom of the tent.
And Logan’s sleeping bag… wait, where was Logan’s sleeping bag?
All her warm, fuzzy feelings dissipated.
He must have come in after they’d all fallen asleep and taken it so he could sleep outside. Her chest tightened, but she swallowed her emotions back.
As quiet as she could, she unzipped the tent, slipped on her flip-flops, and climbed out.
She expected to see Logan asleep on his bag near the fire ring. The fire itself had burned down to coals but still. He might not have needed it for warmth but he knew the dangers out there as well as she did. This was bobcat territory. If you camped, you stayed in a tent or close to a fire. Even when she’d lived in the cave, she’d set up a series of traps and alarms to alert her if anything big was coming through the entrance.
But wait, seriously, where was he?
She turned in a circle. They’d stopped on the edge of a clearing, and looking out, she didn’t see him. She glanced behind her at the woods. Why would he take his sleeping bag into the woods…
Her eyes widened as she realized what he’d done.
That bastard.
He’d called her bluff.
She’d talked so big about how she could track him anywhere but it was mostly b.s. Yeah, she was a passable tracker. But a man like Logan knew how not to leave a trail.
When she went over to the ATV and found his pack gone, she knew it was true.
He’d left.
Probably in the middle of the night so he could get far enough of a head start that they couldn’t catch up with him. Well one or two of them could with the ATV—
But she shook her head and looked east toward the sunrise.
She couldn’t force Log
an to choose her.
To love her.
Just like she couldn’t force Dad.
She swallowed hard and tried to push that thought away. No, one had nothing to do with the other. She even tried to believe it.
If Logan’s ghosts were going to haunt him to the ends of the earth, no matter much how she might want to follow him… Well, last night had been a powerful reminder that there were four other people in this marriage who needed her just as much.
She’d never give up on Logan.
Never.
But maybe loving him right now meant letting him get lost in the wilderness for a little while. And trusting that in the end he’d come back to her. To them.
She looked again toward the sunrise and took in a breath that filled her chest until it felt full to bursting.
And maybe, finally, her ability to feel whole didn’t have to depend on whether someone else loved her or not. She’d given as much love as she could and maybe that was enough. Maybe that was the answer she’d been seeking all this time.
And a small smile curved her lips right as the sun broke over the horizon.
Because a man like Logan Washington would never stay lost for long.
She was still smiling as she reached into the plastic cooler that held the last of their perishable food, taking out several eggs, some cornmeal, and a pot.
She’d have her guys waking up to breakfast already well under way. Start the day off right. If they pushed it, they could make it to the caves in three days.
“Well, look at how pretty you are when you smile, birdie.”
Vanessa gasped, dropping the eggs and pan in shock at the voice she’d prayed to never hear again.
Oh God. No. He couldn’t be here.
All this happened in just a split-second and right as she opened her mouth to scream for her husbands, a dirty hand clamped over her mouth and nose.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
VANESSA
Vanessa blinked awake, her tongue feeling swollen and her mouth so dry it was like she’d swallowed sawdust.
Ow, her neck hurt.
She blinked more and the room around her came into focus. She jolted all the way awake, sitting up straight on the wooden chair and ow—
Oh shit. Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
Her arms were tied behind her back. And both her arms and legs were tied to the chair she was sitting on.
And she was in a room she’d never been in before.
Where the fuck was she? And how had she gotten here?
But even as she asked the questions, she knew the answers. Deep down, she knew.
It was Lorenzo.
Lorenzo Bernal.
“Looks like my little birdie’s finally waking up. I told Jack not to put so much in the vial, but what can I say, he’s not exactly in his right mind when it comes to you.”
Vanessa didn’t look toward the sound of his voice. Instead she looked around the room. There were two windows and it was light outside. She wracked her brain but couldn’t remember anything from when she’d been taken. Maybe she remembered waking up and heading outside the tent? Looking for Logan because he’d slept outside? The memory loss was no doubt due to whatever had been in that damn syringe.
The view out the windows was blocked by a few short, scrubby trees, so that was no help for clues. How long had she been out for? Had Lorenzo taken her back to Hell’s Hollow or were they somewhere closer to the campsite where he’d grabbed her? Was it even the same day?
The room was as nondescript as they came—cream colored walls, beige carpet. No furniture. Nothing on the walls. It was an empty bedroom in any cookie cutter ranch house, could be anywhere.
“You knew I’d always come for you.” Lorenzo stepped closer. “You were the one that got away.”
He touched her cheek and she jerked back. His touch was repulsive after months experiencing her husbands’ loving caresses, and her response was instinctual. She spit in his fat, jowled face.
SLAP.
The explosion of pain across her cheek dazed her for several moments. The chair rocked on two legs from the force of the blow but settled before toppling over.
Lorenzo was shouting, but Vanessa could barely make out the words. She didn’t care to, either.
All she could think about was her clan. What would they think when they woke up to find her gone? Would they think she’d left to follow Logan? Because small details were trickling in from the morning. How she’d stepped outside the tent at dawn and found Logan gone. Along with all his belongings. He’d left them. She’d started cooking breakfast.
The pot! She’d dropped the pot, hadn’t she? And maybe some eggs? So they’d know something was off. They’d be right on Lorenzo’s tail to rescue her.
Lorenzo’s loud laughter startled her out of her thoughts and she looked up at him. The satisfied smirk on his face couldn’t be good.
“You’re thinking your ‘friends’ are going to come and save you?”
She firmed her jaw and tried hard not to let any emotion show on her face one way or another.
Had he done something to them after knocking her out? Because so help her God, if he’d so much as touched a hair on—
“It’s so sad,” Lorenzo went on, a devilish glint in his eye, but I think they’ll find that four-wheeler hard to run with four flat tires.”
Vanessa felt her hope deflate with his words.
Foolish. So foolish to think a happily ever after was ever in the cards for her. No, this is exactly the sort of story the Universe would have written for her. Fate let her get a glimpse of her perfect life—at the center of a family who loved her—only to snatch it all away the very moment she began to fully appreciate all she had.
So you’re just going to give up?
The voice in her head sounded like Cam’s. She could imagine his face. The sarcastic tilt to his eyebrow as he shook his head at her. I expected more, wild woman.
And then Ross’s voice, coming right on the heels of Cam’s. Remember the knots.
Vanessa swallowed, her throat still feeling like a desert and spoke in a croak. “So, what? You going to sell me at the auction in Nuevo Laredo?” She coughed but forced herself to continue. “Is that still your plan?”
“Oh birdie, catch up, catch up.” Lorenzo laughed again.
Lorenzo snapped in front of her face. “That plan’s old news. I couldn’t get shit for you now. It’s only the virgins that bring top dollar.”
Vanessa’s blood went cold. “I am,” she said automatically. The only reason Lorenzo and his gang hadn’t raped her during her weeks of captivity with them was because she was a virgin. And it had been a near thing at the time before he realized that she was. But if he found out the truth now, oh God, all bets would be off.
Lorenzo laughed that fucking demon laugh again and then called out, “Jack, get your one-eyed ass in here.”
Oh shit. No. Not Jack. Anyone but him.
But even as she shook her head, Jack shoved the bedroom door open and came in. The same one-eyed man who’d captured the twins in the Neutral Zone.
She knew not killing him that day was a mistake.
A mistake that might just cost her her life.
Was she wrong and Jack had still been working for Lorenzo all along? Or had Lorenzo taken him back in after he’d gone and tattled about where Vanessa was?
She’d told herself she could forget about the threat Lorenzo posed, even if Jack had reported back about her. She was safe in Jacob’s Well. Besides, what, had Lorenzo and his gang just hung around outside Jacob’s Well waiting for the one day she happened to leave? That was insane…
Unless he’d overheard the plans for Jacob’s Well from his pal Colonel Travis.
So he’d known exactly when she’d be fleeing.
God, had he really wanted revenge that much? She was just one woman. Why the hell couldn’t the obsessive bastard forget about her and move the hell on?
“Jacky here has been especially looking forward to this
reunion.”
Vanessa’s air caught in her lungs as she looked over at the one-eyed man. Unlike Lorenzo, Jack didn’t seem amused in the slightest to see her.
Today he didn’t have the patch over the eye she’d stabbed out. It had healed badly. It was basically a gaping, raw, red hollow. It didn’t look like anyone had even attempted to sew the eyelids shut.
He glared her down with his one good eye.
She flinched and tried to look away but Jack stomped across the room and grabbed her chin in a crushing grip.
“Look at it!” he shouted, spittle flying. “Look at what you done to me, you fucking bitch!”
Jack had been terrifying before. He was a goddamned cannibal, after all. And not just because he was starving and there were no other options. No. Human was his preferred meat.
Vanessa’s entire body shook and she knew she wasn’t managing to keep the fear off her face.
Jack leaned in and staring her in the eye, he licked up her cheek.
She wanted to head-butt the disgusting motherfucker just like she had the first time she’d stolen his knife.
But this time it was Logan’s voice in her head that stilled her. Keep calm. Keep steady, baby.
So she sat still and clenched her eyes shut as Jack’s foul breath washed over her and his filthy tongue licked all the way from her chin up her cheek to her temple.
“You’re no virgin,” he whispered in her ear.
“Yes, I am,” she said through clenched teeth.
The next moment, Lorenzo was back in front of her, and shit—
SLAP.
She coughed and spit up blood from her split lip.
She blinked, the room going in and out of focus.
Steady.
Knots.
Wild girl.
“Tell that to the five men who were fucking you last night in that tent,” Lorenzo sneered. “Or maybe it was just four. That one big guy did look pissed when he stormed out of the tent right as you really started moaning like a whore.”
Vanessa flinched at the mention of Logan. She couldn’t help it. Where was he now? Off looking for his first love, no doubt. Was it better or worse that he didn’t know she’d been taken? It was one less thing to torment himself over, but then again, eventually he’d show up at the caves and the others would tell him what happened to her.