She slowly began stripping off her dress. I’d seen her tits in the dark theater, but the view now was even better in the glow of her room. Like her ass, they weren’t as perfect as Gianna’s, but I’d enjoyed sucking on them earlier.
A memory of another striptease flashed through my mind, causing an actual physical ache in my chest. I shoved it away with everything other thought of the girl I loved who didn’t love me back.
Norah’s panties were next and I saw the landing strip I’d only felt with my fingers earlier. The hair was dark and I couldn’t help wishing it were blond.
Stop thinking of Gianna!
She sauntered closer, still in her heels, still having a great walk. Her fingers worked on the buttons of my shirt, giving my chest little kisses. Her silky hair brushed against my arms.
The wrong color!, my mind screamed.
The wrong girl!, my heart joined in.
My cock didn’t care. It hadn’t felt anything but my hand since last October. I slipped off my shoes as Norah’s hands moved to my belt. “You’re so hot, Caleb.”
It was polite to return the compliment. “So are you.”
“I’m so glad we met,” she said, smiling up at me.
Her smile was too wide. Her lips not full enough. Her eyes not blue.
A soft hand reached inside my pants.
“Wait!”
She stopped, green eyes questioning. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” I assured her, pulling away and picking my shirt up off the carpet. “I just....”
“What?” She picked up her dress, holding it over her nakedness.
“I think we should wait,” I eventually said, not wanting to tell her the real reason for my hesitation.
Her face relaxed, her eyes shining with emotions I couldn’t return. “You are so awesome, Caleb. We don’t have to wait, but it would be more special, right?”
Yeah, I’m really awesome for not having sex with you while pretending you were the girl I really wanted. “I should go.”
“Okay,” she whispered on a grin. “Call me tomorrow?”
I kissed her, feeling like a jerk. “Of course.”
She walked me to the door, accepting another kiss as goodbye.
I got in my car and just sat there for a long time.
It would get better.
If not with Norah, then I’d move on with some other girl.
Gianna couldn’t own me forever.
Norah was a great girl. Pretty, interesting, sweet, even if she was aware of all those things. There were lots of girls out there.
But none of them were as perfect for me as my Gianna.
Gage’s Gianna, I reminded myself harshly. She didn’t belong to me anymore.
I read her text message from earlier, I’m sorry I hurt you.
Then make it go away!
I was fooling myself if I thought I could ever get over her. She did own me forever, had carved her name into my heart.
And just how I’d always known it would be if I lost her, I couldn’t fucking breathe without her.
For the first time, I allowed myself to cry over the loss of air.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
“Sometimes when we are generous in small, barely detectable ways it can change someone else’s life forever.”
-Margaret Cho
GIANNA
My dad and I were eating the casserole I’d made Thursday night when his cell phone rang. “Don’t know who this is,” he muttered before answering.
His expression went alert as he listened to whoever was on the other line and he shot out of his chair. “Where did you say?”
I set my fork down, my heart racing. Something was very wrong for my normally calm dad to act this way.
“I’m on my way.” He hung up, running a shaky hand through his hair. “We have to get to the hospital. Your mom and Chance were in an accident.”
I grabbed my purse from the entry table in the foyer and hurried behind my dad into the garage to his car. “Are they all right?”
He peeled out of the driveway seconds later. “Your mom was okay enough to ask a nurse to call me, but I’m worried because she didn’t call me herself.”
We didn’t speak most of the way to the hospital, each freaking out in our own head. And it was a long time to worry. The hospital was closer to my mom’s house and it took over a half hour to get there on the freeway.
My dad dropped me off outside the emergency room. I would find out where they were and what was going on while he parked the car. I pounced on the first nurse I ran across. “I need to find my mom and brother.”
She pointed to the triage desk. “They’ll tell you over there.”
The two nurses sitting behind the desk were busy, so I slapped a palm down on the counter to get the closest one’s attention. “My mom and brother were in a car accident.”
“Names?” she asked sedately, as if I’d just ordered a fucking Happy Meal.
“Julie Morrison and Chance Thorpe.”
Long fingernails clicked on the keyboard while her eyes slowly scanned the computer screen. I felt like yelling, Hurry the heck up!
Click. Click. CLICK. CLICK! CLICK!!!!
“Please. Are they okay?”
Her lips pursed. “Julie Morrison has been taken for an MRI. Radiology is on the second floor.”
My dad slid to a halt at my side, barking at the nurse, “Chance Thorpe?”
Behind her glasses, her eyes rolled to him, then back to the screen in front of her. After a slow series of clicks, she said, “He’s been moved to the pediatric ward. Third floor.”
“That was fast,” my dad muttered, guiding me to the nearest elevator and stabbing at the button impatiently.
“I want to check on your brother and then I’ll meet you in radiology.”
I’d planned on heading to pediatrics first. I loved my mom but that was my baby brother who was possibly hurt. “How about I check on mom and meet you in pediatrics?”
He nodded, taking a deep breath. I got off on the second floor, following the signs and arrows to radiology. If my mom’s injuries were serious, I’d have my dad come down to speak with the doctor. My flip flops slapped against the white linoleum floor. I turned a corner, seeing Scott where he sat bent over in obvious worry.
“Scott.”
My mom must have asked them to call him. I hadn’t thought of it, more concerned on getting information about their conditions. His head came up. “Gianna, you’re here. The hospital said they’d called your dad. They’re giving her an MRI.”
I sat in the seat next to him, slipping my hand into his. “What happened?”
“Accident on the freeway when she was driving your brother to his karate class. A few other cars were involved, one of them flipped.”
“What have the doctors said about her and Chance?” It surprised me Scott was here near my mom instead of with Chance.
“Caleb is with Chance upstairs.”
Oh, so I’d be seeing him soon. I was glad he was there for my little brother, but my heart raced with knowledge of his proximity.
“The police say the car is totaled. Another car smashed into Chance’s door where he sat in the back and then your mom’s car hit a divide.”
I sucked in a breath. “I need to get up there with my dad.”
“His right leg is broken. Your mom’s head slammed against the driver window, shattering it along with the impact, and she has abrasions on her face from the airbag.”
“Otherwise her and Chance are okay?” It sounded as if we could have lost them
He shrugged, running his free hand through his hair, green eyes worried. “Chance should be fine, but your mom’s head injury was severe. She was knocked out for a few minutes at least and the doctor says she was still disoriented when they brought her in.”
I was torn between rushing upstairs to see my brother and waiting here to find out what shape my mom was in. My fingers brushed away the tears that were quickly replaced by new ones.
> “Go,” Scott urged. “Check on Chance and I’ll let you know when they’re done with your mom.”
I nodded, giving him a quick hug before hurrying to the nearest elevator. I pushed the button for the third floor and the doors slid shut, only to open moments later. A sign posted across from the elevator pointed me to the left for the pediatric ward.
I had to make another left at a corner and arrived at the nurse’s station. The woman behind the desk was in her mid-twenties and wore Mickey Mouse scrubs, her curly brown hair pulled back into a ponytail. I hadn’t thought to get Chance’s room number before now. “Excuse me?”
She looked up from the cell phone in her hand. “How can I help you?”
Her polite smile strangely calmed me. “I don’t know the room number for Chance Thorpe.”
Comprehension washed over her face. “Oh yes, you’re dad said you’d be up. Room 348.”
“Thank you,” I managed to get out before taking off past her to scan the numbers posted outside the doors.
The door stood ajar, a hum of conversation drifting out. Hearing Caleb’s and Chance’s voices talking about a video game brought me both relief and anxiety. Relief that my brother sounded fine despite broken bones and anxiety that I’d have to face the ex-boyfriend who hated me.
My dad saw me first where I paused in the doorway. “Gianna.”
Giving him what was probably more a grimace than a smile, I brushed past my dad to the side of Chance’s hospital bed not taken up by my ex. I avoided Caleb’s eyes, leaning down to squeeze my baby brother in a hug. “You scared me, sweetie.”
When I pulled back, Chance wore a goofy grin. “Did you see my leg?”
“He’s in his happy place,” Caleb said, forcing my attention to him. “Drugged.”
“Medicated,” my dad corrected.
Taking a deep breath, I checked out the cast my brother wore on his right leg. “Cool. I’ll sign it for you later.”
He giggled, appearing free of pain. “Just not in pink or purple.”
“Red,” I countered.
“Okay,” he replied, yawning. “Where’s mom?”
I grabbed a chair, pulling it closer to the bed before sitting down. “She’s where they put the adults. They’re just making sure her head is okay.”
Chance shifted his upper body slightly to face me and whispered, “She conked her head pretty hard.”
“Yeah, but she’ll be fine,” my dad assured him, and maybe me too.
“Can I talk to you?” I asked my dad, motioning toward the hallway. He nodded and I got to my feet to follow him out.
Before I could speak, he pulled me into his arms. I exhaled, relaxing into the hug. His big hand rubbing my back was no less soothing than when I’d been a child. “What did you want to talk about, princess?”
I slowly backed up to turn my face up to his. “Do you think you can go down to talk with mom’s doctor? You’ll understand better than Scott or me what’s going on with her.”
“Of course I will. Now that I’ve seen Chance and know he’s okay, the only worry is your mom’s concussion.”
“Do you already know something?” I pressed, wondering if Scott had held back information.
My dad’s head shook. “No, the MRI is routine with that hard of an impact. There’s a strong possibility they won’t find any swelling.”
“Will you come back up and let me know as soon as you find out?”
“Sure, let me say goodnight to Chance. He’ll be out for the night soon.”
“They’re keeping him overnight for a broken leg?”
“When they moved him up here it was because a family member wasn’t here to take him yet and your mother was already admitted as a patient. His doctor has gone home with instructions to the one on shift now to keep him overnight for observation. It’s probably not necessary, but I’d actually prefer it just in case.”
“Why’d it take so long for them to call us? The crash must have happened at least a couple hours ago.”
“The accident scene was a mess and your mom was so out of it, it was awhile before she could tell them who to notify.”
With a hand at my back, we returned to the hospital room. “Hey, buddy,” my dad said, sitting on the edge of Chance’s bed. “I’m going to swing down to make sure your mom is doing well and I’ll be back soon. Your sister and Caleb are going to hang out here with you while you go to sleep.”
Chance didn’t appear worried, yawning again. “Okay, are you still spending the night with me?”
“Yep,” my dad confirmed. “And I’ll get you pancakes in the morning from the cafeteria.”
“Okay,” Chance said, his eyelids drooping.
“Be back in a bit,” my dad said, exiting the room.
I plopped back down in the chair, taking Chances hand in mine. The silence was more than awkward, it was excruciating. Since Caleb seemed to be waiting for me to say something, or at least I thought so, I finally said softly, “Thank you for being here with Chance.”
When he didn’t say anything, I lifted my head to look at him. He leaned back into the chair with his arms crossed over his chest. “No problem.”
Averting my eyes, I played with Chance’s little fingers as he slept. If Caleb didn’t want to converse, I was fine with that. When my dad returned, I’d duck out to see my mom.
“Is that all you have to say to me?” Caleb snapped, taking me by surprise.
“Shh! You’re going to wake Chance.”
Caleb chuckled. “That kid isn’t waking up until tomorrow morning.” He shifted to lean forward and I was suddenly grateful for the barrier of the bed between us. “You didn’t answer.”
“What do you want me to say?” I asked, annoyance building.
“How about sorry for fucking another dude behind my back?”
“It’s not like you haven’t already had sex with someone else, probably several someone elses, knowing you.” I replied angrily.
“An entire cheerleading squad,” he drawled.
“I’m not talking about this in front of Chance, even if he is asleep.”
“Let’s take this outside then,” he suggested, already standing up and circling the bed. He came to a stop next to my chair.
I stubbornly remained seated. “Go home, Caleb.”
A hand under my arm yanked me up. “We’re doing this now and afterward I hope to never see your deceitful face again.”
That hurt, and so did his unforgiving grip. I jerked my arm away, heading for the door to get it over with, dismissing the pain in my heart and the hurt in his eyes.
Searching the hallway, I only saw a nurse walking in the opposite direction. Spinning around, I was unprepared for the confrontation but starting to brace myself in case it was bad.
Caleb stood with his feet apart, his arms crossed again. “Did you ever love me?”
I looked at the floor in contemplation. My head screamed at me to lie, but I’d already betrayed my heart so many times. “What does it matter now?”
“It matters to me a hell of a lot,” he said.
I looked at the wall to the right of him. “I cared about you.”
He let out a scoffing sound. “So you lied about loving me? Big fucking surprise. Like mother, like daughter.”
“What is that supposed to mean?” I asked, meeting his scornful gaze.
His cruel smirk cut through me. “She claimed to love my dad, too, but scraped him off when things got hard.” He took a step forward to get in my space. “Both of you are heartless.”
Nope, my heart was there, beating but bleeding. His insult hit right in its center.
“Faithless,” Caleb added, stepping back and suddenly appearing bored. “I’m done with this. I’ll stay until your dad gets back then I’m out of here.” He went back inside Chance’s room, leaving me in the hallway.
I didn’t want the guy I loved to think I was a cheat and a lying bitch, but how else was I to keep him at a distance? He was Caleb. He’d pushed his way into my life once
before, forcing me to open my mind and heart. I was afraid of him attempting the same thing again. Even if he’d never left my heart, the dark parts of my mind couldn’t accept him.
It was agony to picture him with another girl, but I couldn’t give him what he needed. I walked slowly into the room, where Caleb stared down at his phone.
Sitting down, taking a deep breath, I came to a decision. I couldn’t be with Caleb, I’d make that clear, but it hurt too much for him to think badly of me.
“I lied.”
His eyes casually rolled up to mine. “No shit.”
“About Gage.”
That had him snapping to attention, the phone in his hand forgotten.
“About having sex with him.”
“What?” Hazel eyes darkened with turbulent feeling.
“About loving him.”
“You don’t?” His previously indolent frame now thrummed with energy.
“About not loving you.” My voice trembled and I gripped the arms of my chair for support.
“Then why are you with him?” he asked.
“I’m not,” I finished.
“I don’t understand,” he said, standing but not moving to me.
Good, he needed to stay away.
“Why then?” he asked.
“Because I don’t want to be with you anymore.”
“Don’t want to be with me?” he asked, his face changing into something I couldn’t decipher.
“Can’t,” I amended, getting ready to dodge him if he reached for me.
“You love me?” he asked. I should have known he’d zero in on that.
“Won’t be with you,” I emphasized, ignoring his question. Thankfully, my dad returned, halting the conversation I considered over.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
“The heart is forever inexperienced.”
-Henry David Thoreau
GIANNA
“You’re mom is going to be fine,” my dad said as he entered the room. Seeing Caleb standing over where I sat, he stopped. “Everything all right?”
Toxic Bad Boy Page 12