She jerked away, scooting off the bed. “I can’t do this with you, Caleb.”
“Do what?”
“You know,” she said stubbornly.
“You’ll have to explain it to me. So far you’ve confused the shit out of me with your lying and games. You look beautiful, by the way.”
“Shut up!” She made for the door, probably to find a room with a better lock.
“Are you my girl, Gianna?”
Her feet stopped walking away, her head turned to the side so I could see her profile. “Not anymore.”
“Don’t listen to your head, listen to your heart. Are you my girl?”
She faced me, her expression tortured. “I can’t be your girlfriend, Caleb.”
“Sure you can. Come here and be my girlfriend.”
Her head shook in panic, blue eyes pleading. “I can’t be with you.”
“You’re with me right now.”
“No, Caleb, I can’t be with you.”
After a moment, understanding hit me. “You’re talking about sex.”
“Yeah,” she choked out.
I’d had enough. I went to get my girl. Leading her to the bed with no resistance, I sat her on the end of it next to me, the least threatening spot. Tentatively, I brought my palms up to hold the prettiest face I’d ever seen. “I’ll take you any way I can get you, princess.”
Amusement entered her eyes and I guessed why.
“You didn’t tell me your dad called you that.” Waving a hand at the ridiculously majestic room, I continued, “You’ll have to tell him you’re no longer his princess. You belong to me now.”
“He’ll kick your ass.”
“He can try.” I rubbed a thumb over pink lips. “You shouldn’t have lied to me.”
Salty tears welled, changing the blue into an ocean of pain. She covered my hand with one of hers. “I can’t be what you need, Caleb.”
Her lips hesitantly meeting mine was a personal miracle. “Sex or blue balls, you’re still my girl.”
“Caleb!” Her cheeks blushed, making her skin go redder combined the previous crying. “Do you have to be such a pervert?”
“That probably won’t ever change.”
She rubbed her cheek against my palm, seeking a deeper touch. “Caleb, I’m scared of it. I think I’d freak out.”
It made sense. I’d read about it in a couple of psychology texts and discussed it with Dr. Adler during our sessions. She’d reiterated what the books had, that women could become averse to being intimate after a sexual assault.
“Are you still attracted to me?” I asked her.
Her eyes widened before she made a face. “It’d be hard not to be. You’re hot, Caleb.”
I laughed, bringing her head against my chest. “Good to hear. I’ve been celibate for eight and a half months, Gianna. I can wait a while longer.”
“How much longer?” she asked, tilting her head back to look up at me. “Wait! You’ve been celibate? I thought you had sex with that chick at the party.”
Thank fuck I hadn’t.
“No, I couldn’t go through with it. My dick was feeling it, but my heart,” and stomach, “protested.” I wouldn’t mention the fact that puking my guts out had been what stopped my drunk ass.
And I wouldn’t tell her about Norah yet. Things had gone a bit farther with Norah and I’d just got my girl back.
She slapped my chest. “Dammit, Caleb! You’re not supposed to tell me your stupid dick was into some other girl!”
“First off, don’t ever call it stupid, you’ll hurt its feelings. And second, I was wasted and horny after eight months imprisoned. Let’s not forget I couldn’t go through with it because my heart belongs to you, little liar.”
Her eyes dropped to my chin. “Are you mad at me?”
“Hell yeah, but I’m also happy to have you back. I can be mad later.” I jostled her in my arms. “Now tell me you’re my girl.”
She giggled through saying, “I’m your girl.”
“Tell me you love me,” I ordered.
Her laughter stopped and her fingers stroked my face. “I love you, Caleb.”
“Good, now erase Gage from the contacts on your phone.” I pulled her cell from my pocket, handing it over.
“Gage is my friend,” she said sternly. “Besides, I think you’ll like him once you really get to know him.”
“I won’t be able to resist kicking his ass again next time I see him.”
“You’re not allowed to kick my friends’ asses, Caleb.”
“Well, not in front of you,” I teased. “And to answer your earlier question, I’ll wait as long as it takes.”
“What if it’s eight more months?” she asked in all seriousness.
I managed not to wince. “Eight years if that’s what it takes.”
She grinned. “It won’t be that long.”
“Thank fuck,” I muttered. “Now since it won’t be sex, what are you going to do to make it up to me?”
Her shy smile only had me wanting to do nasty things to her more. “Cuddle and watch a movie.”
Keeping my face blank, I said, “It’s a start.”
*****
You haven’t called.
The text message was expected, but also unwanted
Is it because we didn’t have sex?
Her second text was just ridiculous. I’d been the one who backed off from actual screwing.
If I was going to make it clear things were over before they’d begun, I would do it face to face. Only wimps broke up with a chick over the phone or through a typed message.
Which was why I’d stopped by the gallery.
Approaching the entrance, I saw her through the window. She wore another of her skintight dresses, this time in white. Her glossy brown hair hung loose in a dark wave down her back.
The bell on the door chimed as I stepped inside. She looked over, smiling when she saw it was me and said something to the customer studying a painting.
Her walk was pure sex and I was actually surprised when it produced zero response in me. Seemed like my dick wasn’t into it anymore. I always knew it wasn’t stupid.
“Caleb!” She grinned, reaching out to brush her fingers along my arm. “I would kiss you, but I’m at work.”
Not returning her greeting, I scanned what I could see of the gallery. Another potential customer, an older woman, browsed in the back.
“Do you have a break soon?”
She glanced down at the delicate watch on her wrist. “Twenty minutes until my lunch break.”
“There’s a cafe a block over,” I suggested.
“Wildflower Cafe?”
“Yeah, meet me there?” I asked, dreading it but wanting her to hurry so I could get it over with.
Her excited expression fell, finally realizing I wasn’t quite as happy to see her as she was me. “Okay.” Despite her assertion of professionalism from a couple minutes ago, she came in for a kiss. I swerved, pecking her on the cheek and turning on my heel.
If it had been Gianna I waited for, I would’ve ordered a sandwich for her so it’d be ready and she’d have more time to eat. I definitely wasn’t ordering anything but the cup of coffee I drank. It was unlikely this would go well and I’d planned for a hasty retreat. At least I’d been polite enough to order her coffee. Hopefully she refrained from throwing the hot beverage on my lap.
The door of the cafe also had a bell on it. It dinged as Norah entered, her face expectant. “Did you order yet?”
“I was waiting for you,” I replied calmly, setting down my cup.
Relief seeped into her eyes. “Aren’t you going to kiss me now?” She hadn’t sat down, instead standing there stubbornly.
I felt like a jerk doing this, but it was one date and most chicks would’ve let it go when the guy hadn’t called for the entire week afterward. “We need to talk.”
“Great,” she muttered, her expression becoming pouty as she lowered herself into the metal chair.
“I g
ot back together with my ex,” I informed her as nicely as possible for a guy like me.
She snapped forward and a hissing sound escaped her mouth. I recoiled on instinct, expecting her to shoot venom into me with her fangs. “You didn’t say anything about a girlfriend.”
“Why would I? We were broken up.”
“And you were on the rebound? You couldn’t have been together long, you just got out of juvie.”
“We’ve been together since last fall. We only broke up for two weeks,” I defended. Normally I’d tell a chick to fuck off, but I felt mildly bad at messing around with Norah when she’d been expecting more.
“You led me on, made me think we had a connection.”
“The only connection we had was my fingers inside you.” The words were harsh, but this girl was freaking out on me after one date.
“You wanted me,” she asserted, her face becoming softer. “You were aroused.”
I leaned back, spreading my legs casually. “Any hot chick can give a guy a hard on.”
Her face expressed concern I wasn’t buying. “If you and your girlfriend broke up, don’t you think it was for a reason?”
A perfectly good reason, my girlfriend had been assaulted and was more than a little hesitant at resuming our intimate relationship. But that was none of Norah’s fucking business.
“We’re solid, me and my girl. No worries.”
“You love her?” she asked, fidgeting in her seat as she glanced away.
“She’s the only girl I’ll ever love.”
Green eyes flashed fury and envy. “Lucky girl,” she snapped sarcastically.
This particular situation was new to me, not brushing off a girl, but telling one that I loved another. “I’m sorry if you were hurt.”
It was hard to tell if her tears were from anger or anguish. We barely knew each other, so feeling anything other than anger would be ridiculous.
“I really like you. What’s so special about this girl?”
Holy hell, she had to be delusion.
One date!
“Do you really want me to answer that?” At her nod, I reluctantly explained vaguely, “Everything is special about her.”
“What’s her name?” she cut in.
“You know what? I’m not doing this.” No way was I giving Norah my girlfriend’s name. This chick was borderline delusional. I got to my feet with the intention of leaving.
“Wait, Caleb!” She grabbed my arm as made to pass.
“Yeah?” I asked impatiently, regretting briefly dating a girl I’d have to deal with on a professional basis.
“It’s really over?”
“It never started,” I stated bluntly, walking away from her.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
“There are things like love and hate and jealousy that are just going to be there forever.”
-Shiloh Fernandez
CALEB
“So you and Gianna are back together?” my mom asked as she ate her bagel before heading off to work. She wore a business suit, letting me know her client today must be important. Usually she dressed more casually in her flowy bohemian skirts and dresses. She’d even pulled her black hair up into a sleek updo.
“Yep,” I replied, taking a bite of my omelet.
She opened her mouth to speak then snapped it shut with an audible click of her teeth.
“Just say it,” I said, rolling my eyes.
Finishing off her bagel, she rinsed off her plate in the sink. “I just wonder if the relationship is good for the two of you.”
I set down my fork, not liking what she’d suggested. “Meaning?” Gianna and I had been back together for five days and I thought it was better than good.
She shrugged one shoulder, turning to face me again. “It just seems as if the relationship may be a little...toxic.”
I scraped the rest of my omelet in the trash and brushed past her to rinse my plate, spraying water onto the counter in my annoyance. “You can hardly blame me or Gianna for Josh attacking her.”
My mom crossed her arms in a move that indicated her intention of digging in for an argument. “No, but the drama with her mom which led up to the attack, Julie filing for divorce and following through with it, plus you two running away together for a few days were all cause for concern. After all that, you ended up in youth corrections for eight months only to be jerked around by Gianna when you got out.” She let out an irritated huff at the end of her tirade.
“It was my choice to beat the crap out of Josh, mom.”
“I know that, but it wouldn’t have happened if you weren’t in love with her.”
“You said you liked Gianna.”
“It’s not that I don’t like her, she’s a sweet girl, but together you two may be toxic.”
“I put Claudette’s ex in the hospital and I wasn’t in love with her.”
“What about Gianna breaking up with you for that other boy?”
“She wasn’t jerking me around,” I insisted, taking a deep breath before continuing. If it were anyone else, I’d likely tell them to shove it, but I felt my was owed an explanation for everything I’d put her through. “She was only pretending to be with him to discourage me.”
My mom’s mouth dropped open. “Why would she do that?”
Damn, I didn’t want to spell it out. Emphasizing my words, I said, “She was beaten and sexually assaulted with a flashlight. She didn’t think she could handle having a boyfriend after that.”
That shut my mom up, her face revealing guilt. “Oh, I’m sorry.”
“Yeah, so do you think we can get off the subject of my girlfriend being violated?”
I didn’t wait for her answer, storming out of the kitchen in a rage. It still killed me to think of that happening to my precious girl. Josh would get out once he reached adulthood and I’d be waiting. But this time I’d be smarter about it and catch him alone in the dark somewhere, just as he’d done with Gianna.
Taking a sketchpad out of my nightstand, I grabbed one of my drawing pencils. I flipped to a blank page and began sketching out the shape of the most beautiful eyes I’d ever gazed into.
After twenty minutes, I was putting the finishing touches on her eyebrows. My text alert beeped and I picked up my phone from its cradle.
Just got to the clinic. Bringing Chance to dad’s house later so my mom can have a break.
I quickly sent a reply. Meet you there.
For the past few days I’d soaked up as much time with her as possible. I still had to finish one last painting, which was why we hadn’t hung out last night and I’d ended up spending the night at my mom’s apartment.
Gianna drove to her mom’s yesterday so she could go with them to a doctor’s appointment this morning. I figured they’d be there at least an hour and I’d wait two before driving to her dad’s house.
Okay, she texted.
How does pizza sound for lunch?
Delicious! She was such a dork sometimes.
See you then.
Calmed down after a dose of her, I put away the sketchpad and headed to my mom’s art studio to finish the painting. It was of a downtown scene with a group of breakers forming a circle around one wearing a bright orange jumpsuit. The other breakers all wore the same stereotypical prison jumpsuit. We hadn’t worn the bright color at the youth corrections I’d been locked up at, but if I’d made them blue the group in the painting would like janitors instead of prisoners.
I thought it’d be interesting to have them dancing out on the streets of Denver, as if they’d recently escaped or been released and were celebrating their newfound freedom. Passing pedestrians skirted around them in obvious fear and the backdrop to the scene was a Starbucks and a Subway. A homeless man sat against the wall nearby, watching the dancing as passersby also avoided him.
I sifted through the paintbrushes, choosing a smaller one to put on the finishing touches on some of their faces. Jim would love this painting. I’d let him name a few of the others, deciding he knew better what
would draw in art buyers.
Painting was enjoyable for me, but it was hard to ignore the money it could potentially make me. If this didn’t work out, I’d find another way to support Gianna. She said her trust fund was smaller than her dad’s but in our life together I wanted to be the one to provide for her, not money from her grandparents.
While she was in college, I didn’t want her to work unless she needed the experience, like the internship Norah had. Plus, she wouldn’t get her trust fund for another decade. Decent apartments downtown or in Boulder, if that’s what she decided, were both expensive. I’d need a lot of money for several years of rent.
An hour later of steady handiwork and it was completed. I’d let it dry and pick it up on Monday to take to the gallery.
Dialing the number of a pizza place I had in my contacts, I ordered my girl’s favorite pizza and another one with just cheese for Chance.
*****
GIANNA
My dad had given me money to do the grocery shopping. I stood in the frozen food section, scanning for Chance’s favorite chicken nuggets when she approached me.
“Are you Gianna?”
I whirled around to see a short girl with black hair. “Yes?” Weird, I didn’t recognize her.
“You’re Caleb’s girlfriend?”
“Yes,” I repeated, figuring some girl labeling me as his girlfriend equaled an unhappy past hook up.
“I’m Christina, Norah’s roommate,” she said as if I should know either of those names. At my purposely blank look, she continued, her attitude altering as she became more confident. “Anyways, I just thought you should know they dated while you two were broken up and Norah’s hurt that he dumped her to get back together with you.”
“What are you talking about?”
“They really liked each other and Norah says he was really into it, if you know what I mean, but he broke up with her last Saturday.”
Last Saturday Caleb and I had been back together for two days. “Caleb has never had any girlfriend but me.”
“Maybe they didn’t make if official, but dating and getting naked sort of implies it,” she said sarcastically with a roll of her dark eyes.
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