by Eve, Jaymin
He got off the bed, lifting me with him. Together we crossed to the large piece of furniture, and I stared up at all the photos as I had done many times. Young Asher was one of my favorite things in the world. As a small child, his power and strength were obvious, even if they were covered by a sheen of innocence, baby-faced cutie that he was. For a brief moment, when I saw those photos I could picture my own child. Our child.
Gah. Not something I was ready to contemplate for many, many, many years. Maybe ever. Depending on how the god and danger situation in the world eventuated. I wouldn’t risk having a child in a world that might destroy them.
But the errant thought still hit me every now and then.
“We would protect them,” Asher said, voice soft but with a deadly undercurrent. “The world would have to cave in around us before I’d let anything harm our child.”
“I know,” I said, hopping up on tiptoes to reach a small space high on a glass shelf. My blade slid into that spot like it had been made for it, and Asher closed the front panel.
“This information on Atlantean couples,” Asher said as we moved back to the bed, “was there anything else that might help?”
“I legit have no idea what we would do without Axl…” I shook my head. “He’s saved my ass so many times with his unending knowledge of fucking everything.”
Asher’s full lips quirked at the corners. “Yep. Mine too. For most of my life. He’s always had his head buried in books.”
I’d pretty much told him everything already, so we just went over what had been in the diary entry again, including the information about the gods sharing power.
Asher was silent for a moment. His face contemplative as he considered what we’d learned.
“Maybe the next time Sonaris is around, we can try and get information from him,” I suggested.
We both knew that he would be around, although, thankfully, I hadn’t seen him in over a week. Maybe he was bored with me already. That would be really great news. Asher’s expression shifted from contemplative to murderous at that suggestion, but thankfully my stomach chose that point to growl loudly.
With a shake of his head, he laughed. “Better feed my mate before she kills me.”
I smacked him hard on the shoulder. “Jerk. I’ve never even tried to kill you.”
I mean, not really.
Asher laughed as he dragged me out into the living area, and I was excited to find that someone had already ordered dinner. The delicious smell of tacos wafted around the room, and I guessed it was Calen we had to thank for the food. Tacos were one of his favorites.
Rone stopped in front of us. “I was just coming to let you know dinner was here. Are you all unpacked?”
“Yep.” I nodded for extra measure. “There was hardly anything left to do after using Axl’s nifty little unpacking spell.”
“When you code it specifically to a supe’s energy,” Axl said from where he was perched on a kitchen stool. “It unpacks much more accurately.”
I shrugged. “Couldn’t fault it. Everything is placed just as I would have.”
Larissa patted him on the shoulder as she walked past, a tray of glasses filled with water and other drinks, in her hands. How she held the tray and managed to pat him at the same time was beyond me—super strength probably helped. “If you five weren’t already filthy rich, you could make a fortune with these inventions.”
Axl’s cheeks went a little pink. “Thanks.”
Aw, my humble genius.
Looking around at my family, all of them setting the table so we could eat together, I felt a surge of happiness. More than happiness, it was contentment. The thought that someone could come along and destroy that … I had to figure out this path. I had to figure out how to stop it.
Asher made a sound next to me, a rumble of annoyance. “Where is Jesse?”
Jesse might not have been acting too differently with Asher, but my mate still knew it was hurting me, and I could sense how much it was pissing him off.
Feeling his emotions was a daily occurrence now.
“He’s on his way,” Calen said, taking a seat beside Ilia. “He texted before that he was in a meeting.”
Yeah, right. A meeting at 10 P.M.
I needed a subject change. “Is your dad back yet, Larissa?”
“He should be back tomorrow or the next day,” she said, sounding relieved. “I spoke briefly with him earlier and the meetings have wrapped. He said that he’s coming back with everyone and that they have a lot to tell us.”
The meeting in Romania had been going on for too long, and I was desperate to know what they’d decided. Not that I thought there was anything those supes could do. But if even one helpful thing came out of the meeting, it would have been worth it.
So many powerful and important supes were there.
I should have been there, but had decided to stay here, just in case. I didn’t want to bring trouble to their secret meeting place. What if Sonaris followed me? What if other gods were out there tracking this situation? The risk was too great.
I would just have to wait for their updates.
We all sat at the huge whitewashed table, extending out the sides so that we had more space to fit. My favorite part of this table was the curved legs, carved all the way to the ground, thick and solid.
“Should we wait for Jesse?” Larissa asked as she handed out drinks. She knew everyone’s favorite. Mine was water with a hint of lemon and mint. Asher preferred sweet iced tea. As did his brothers. Everyone drank a ton of water though. We were born from it after all.
“No,” Asher said shortly.
“He knew what time we were eating,” Rone added, a bite in his tone.
Both of them were the most pissed with him and neither bothered to hide it. Calen and Axl were making a little more attempt to stay neutral.
At least there were tacos to distract me.
Asher dropped two on my plate first, and I was pretty sure that if anything in the world proved someone’s love, it was their willingness to feed their mate before themselves.
“Thank you,” I said, biting into it so fast that the filling went everywhere. The first touch of spiced beef and vegetables on my tongue had an almost inaudible groan leaving my mouth. “So damn good,” I mumbled. “This is one of my favorite meals.”
Asher wasn’t eating, he was watching me. “My favorite too,” he said, and the look on his face ... I was suddenly hungry for a lot more than dinner. “Later,” he promised quietly.
“I live here now,” I said, blinking at the realization. I mean, I knew that already, of course, but it really hit home in that moment.
I lived in the Atlantean mansion.
“For at least the next year,” Rone added, already finished his eight tacos. He ate neatly and left almost no mess. He didn’t even have sauce on his shirt, and I wasn’t sure how that was possible.
Mental pressure slammed into me … of my own making. “What if I don’t graduate this year?”
“Then we’ll all be here for another year,” Calen said.
“You’ll graduate early,” Axl added. “You’re already ahead in all your classes, and we’ve got the teachers pushing fourth year work on you. You’re handling it, no worries.”
Not a hundred percent accurate, but I was somewhat keeping up.
Going back to my taco, I took my second bite just as the front door slammed open and in marched Jesse. Well, it was more like a wobbly lurch, if I was going for accuracy.
He ground to a halt when he saw all of us around the table, his brilliant eyes dimming as they ran across all of us. One by one. Until finally … he finished on me.
My taco was forgotten as the two of us remained locked in each other’s gaze. Fuck. I had forgotten how green his eyes got when he was upset, almost unnaturally green. The contrast to his dark skin was startling, but in the best kind of way.
Everything about Jesse was striking, and he was also such a fun, nice guy. Usually.
The perfe
ct package.
Just not for me.
A scowl crossed his lips. “You started without me. Huge fucking surprise.” He slurred some of the words and I was getting the picture of just how wasted he was. It was hard for shifters to get drunk—he must have been working at it all day.
“Jess,” Asher said softly. “Don’t do this, brother.”
The stark pain on Jesse’s face in that second almost broke my heart; all of my righteous anger against him faded into nothing. All I wanted to do was hug him until everything was okay. But maybe a hug from me was the exact opposite of what would make it okay.
“I gotta swim,” Jesse muttered, spinning and hurrying out of the room as fast as his drunk ass could move.
“I’ll go after him,” Calen said.
“No,” I said, standing. “This is about me. I need to deal with it.”
Pushing the chair back, I stepped away from the table, only stopping when Asher wrapped a hand around my forearm. “Maddi,” he said, warning in his voice, “I don’t think you should be alone with him. He’s not … acting himself. He hurt you last time.”
Leaning down, I slid my free hand around Asher’s neck, pulling him closer to me. “It’s going to be okay. He didn’t hurt me, and I need to deal with it. I promise not to push him too hard, but if I don’t confront him, we’ll never move past this.”
Asher didn’t want to let me go. I could see the indecision on his face, the tumult in his darkening eyes. But he wasn’t one to pretend women needed their white knight to save them. He let me be the savior sometimes too, and I appreciated that about him, because he was alpha as fuck and it was hard for him to let go.
But he still did it.
“It’s just Jess,” I reminded him. “He’s not going to really hurt me.”
“Ten minutes,” Asher finally conceded. “Tell him to pull his head out of his ass or we’re about to have more than words pass between us.”
Pressing my lips to his, I kept the kiss short. “I’ll be back soon,” I promised.
He held my arm until the last second, not wanting to let me go, but he did. He loved Jesse too. No doubt he hoped I’d be able to bring our family dynamics back.
Chapter 10
Jesse was already in the pool. As I stepped closer to the water, the briny scent invaded my nose and my heart grew a little lighter. This was water from our oceans, and despite the shitty reasons I was out here, I had a moment of happiness. It had been a while since I’d had a chance to swim, but I lived here now, and could venture out any time of the day or night. That was a huge win.
Jesse was adept at ignoring me, so I didn’t even bother trying to catch his attention. I just stripped off my clothes, leaving on a plain black bra and underwear, before diving right in. Everything was crystal clear below, and within seconds my lungs adjusted and I was breathing as easily as I could above the water. Despite the dark stormy sky, it was not dark at all below. My eyes picked up every pigment of light and amplified it until it was almost as bright as day.
I could taste the faint scent of lavender from the cleaner the guys used on the tiles outside. There was also some new water in here—it had rained yesterday. The fresh water and salt didn’t mix well at first, but eventually it found its symbiosis.
Jesse had flipped over, watching me as I swam toward him. “We need to talk,” I said when I got close. “Please, Jess. We can’t keep going like this. It has to end now.”
He couldn’t speak under here, but I could tell from his face that he wasn’t happy. He didn’t run away again though.
We rose and hit the surface at the same time.
He opened his mouth first and I didn’t try to beat him to it. I wanted him to talk to me.
“I love you,” he said.
Everything stopped. The water even stilled.
Jesse dropped his head, and I tried to gather up the pieces of my aching heart.
“I tried really hard not to care this much, Mads,” he continued. “Fuck. I did everything. I’ve not been able to touch another girl in a year, and it’s not for lack of trying. I’ve tried. With as many as I could. But they’re not you.”
Jesus. I wasn’t sure I could get through this without losing my fucking mind. How could I fix this?
He met my gaze and my lips trembled as I fought the tears lingering right on the edge. Not about you. This was not my pain, but I hurt all the same, because I loved Jesse too. Just not this way.
“I had it together,” he said, a dark laugh emerging with the words. “I’d slotted you firmly into the friend-sister zone, and I wasn’t going to touch it again. But … Asher died.” More laughter, derisive … cynical. “What sort of fucked up best friend moves in on his girl when he dies? I mean, I would never want to lose Ash. He’s my fucking family, but when it looked like he was gone, when you were crumbling … holding on to me. It … broke the box I had you in.”
I clenched my fists to stop them trembling. Jesse had stopped talking and I knew it was my turn, but I couldn’t figure out what to say.
“I’m so sorry.” The words spilled before my thoughts caught up. “Fuck. I wish there was something I could do or say to fix this. Trust me. I would literally do anything.”
“Except the one thing I need,” Jesse sighed. “I know I’m being a dick about it. I know it, Maddi. I see and hear it every single time I’m around you lately, but I just can’t get myself together.”
I squeezed my eyes closed, briefly, before finding some fucking backbone. “I’m not saying any of this to hurt you, but there will never be anyone for me other than Asher. Sonaris tried by tying our energy together, and still he’s not even a blip on my radar. I love you too, Jess. I will never deny that, but it’s not the way I love Ash. He’s the part of me I didn’t even know was missing.”
“Can’t fight fate,” Jesse murmured, and it was so fucking sad I wanted to scream.
“You have a true mate out there as well,” I reminded him. “Someone who is going to make these feelings you have for me seem like nothing.”
Jesse growled; the lion was coming out to play. “Don’t bet on it, friend. I’ve been fighting my feelings for you for two years. If they were small or insignificant, it wouldn’t have taken me this long. It wouldn’t be getting worse.”
Well, fuck.
“What do you need from me?” I asked. This was about what Jesse needed, even though I was pretty sure I’d never done anything for him to think I wanted a romantic relationship.
I mean, I had leaned on him last year, when Asher died. But dudes had to start realizing that just because a chick is their friend, and cares about them, and loves them, doesn’t mean they have any right to her heart or her body. I’d never given him one indication that my feelings were more than friendship. He’d made that leap on his own.
Still, I wanted to fix whatever part of our relationship I could. I just needed Jesse to tell me what he wanted me to do.
He didn’t answer me and was not looking my way now.
Letting out a ragged breath, I nudged him. “You need me to back off? Leave the room when you enter? I can do whatever it takes to help you through this. Ash and I will tone our PDA down…”
He finally met my gaze. “I would appreciate that,” he said. “Not the part where you stay away, but the part where I don’t have to see you and Asher all over each other. It makes me want to punch … something.”
“Fair enough,” I said, forcing a smile. Not touching Asher every second of the day was going to be difficult, but if it made Jesse’s life easier for a short time, we could do it.
“And there’s another thing…”
He trailed off and the air turned chilly. I wasn’t sure if it was reacting to Jesse’s energy, or if it was just a random weather change, but it was eerie all the same.
“What?” I said. “If you need something from me, I’ll do my best to give it.”
“Kiss me,” he said.
Whatthefuck?
“Jess…” I started and he held his ha
nds up, huge palms, water dripping down them to the water below.
“One kiss. I just want you to know for sure, to experience this with both of us, and make the most informed decision. I mean, how can you truly know without ever kissing me?”
His lips twitched then and a gust of air left me as I lunged forward and punched him. “You fucker. You legit had me going for a second there.”
Jesse threw his head back and laughed and I sent a plume of water into his face.
“I knew letting you watch Twilight was a bad idea,” I grumbled.
His grin was large and genuine and something relaxed inside of me. “I’d never do that to you or Asher,” Jesse said, scrunching his eyebrows. “I might have been team shifter for most of the movie, but that guy was a selfish fuck when he put that on Bella.”
It amused me to no end that he was a secret Twihard.
“So … we’re okay?”
Jesse nodded, some darkness filtering back in the green depths of his eyes. “I’m working on the okay thing, but I promise not to keep acting like a prepubescent kid that didn’t get his favorite toy.”
Stepping forward, I grabbed his hand. “And I promise to stop being so insensitive to your feelings. You’re one of the best people in the world, and you’re going to make some chick very happy one day.”
He hugged me. Tight and hard, but only for a second, before he was diving under the water again, swimming like he could outrun his demons that way.
If only it was that easy.
Chapter 11
As reluctant as I was to leave the water, I decided not to intrude on Jesse’s time any longer. If I wanted us to find our way back to a better place, I had to do my part as well. I had no idea what Asher would say about us toning down our affection in public, but he loved his brother, so hopefully he’d at least try.
Life was complicated.
Just as I was sliding back into my jeans, I felt a ripple of power, and since it wasn’t the first time I’d felt it, I gritted my teeth and made my way around the side of the pool to where Sonaris waited.