CHAPTER VI.
Had I yielded to passion, had I not in some small degree exercisedwisdom, I should have coined out of this last meeting with Mrs.Fortress a most exquisite torture; but I schooled myself into theacceptance of what was entirely beyond my comprehension, and after aninterval of agitated thought I set it down to a trick, the inspirationof which may have been derived from unguarded words escaping mewhile I slept, or while I was soliloquising--a habit into which I hadgrown--and she was watching me unobserved. It troubled me a great dealat first, but I was successful in diminishing instead of magnifyingit, and it was fortunate for me that I had much to occupy my mind inother ways during the few following weeks. My lawyer demanded my timeand attention. I was determined, without question as to whether afavourable market could be found for them, to dispose of the propertyand securities which my father had left, and which now were mine. Iwas determined to commence a new life, without any exact definition oridea as to what that life was to be; and to do this it was necessary,according to my view, that I should make a clearance. I was surprisedto discover that my father had made a great number of investments, andit was to my advantage that they were mostly good ones. Had Ipossessed both the moral and the legal power I would have soldRosemullion, but my father's will was so worded that the lawyerpointed out to me that there would be difficulties in the way, andafter listening to his arguments I agreed to retain it as my freehold.But I was determined not to inhabit it, and I gave instructions that atenant should be sought for it, and that, if one could not beobtained, it should remain untenanted.
"It had been unoccupied a great many years," the lawyer remarked,"when your father purchased it."
"For any particular reason?" I inquired.
"No," replied the lawyer, "except that there was a foolish idea thatit was haunted."
"Whoever rents Rosemullion," I said, "must take his own ghosts withhim if he wishes for ghostly company."
"We generally do that," said the lawyer, dryly, "wherever we go."
There were legal requirements to be attended to in the drawing up andsigning of deeds, but otherwise there was no difficulty in carryingout my intention to the letter, and at the expiration of three monthsI found myself an absolutely free and unencumbered man, with my largefortune invested in English consols, the fluctuations of which causedme not a moment's uneasiness. During those three months I lived myusual life, read, studied, and often wandered through the adjacentwoods at night. I think that the adventure I have elsewhere narratedof the tramps I befriended one stormy night had awakened my sympathiesfor the class, and I may say, without vanity, that it was not the onlyoccasion on which my sympathies had taken a practical shape. A littlewhile before I bade farewell to Rosemullion I was wandering throughthe woods an hour or so before the rising of the sun, when I came upona woman sleeping on the ground. As usual, she had a child in her arms,and moans issued from the breasts of both the woman and the child. Itwas a pitiful sight, familiar enough in our overcrowded land. Thewoman was the picture of desolation. Suddenly, as I gazed, a mockingvoice whispered that it would be merciful to kill her where she lay."Do a good deed," said the silent voice, "and hasten home to bed. Noone will know." I laughed aloud, and took from my pocket my purse,which was well supplied with money. The woman had an apron on. Iwrapped the purse in it, and tied it securely, so that it should notescape her. Then I crept away, but scarcely knew whether to be glad orsorry that I had cheated fate once more.
A few days afterwards I turned my back on Rosemullion.
I had formed no definite plans; all that I had settled was that Iwould go abroad and see the world. It was open for me, and the flowerswere blooming. Was I not rich, and had I not already had experience ofthe value of riches?
But although I travelled far, and saw the wonders of art and nature inforeign lands, my habits were much the same as they had been inEngland. What I enjoyed I enjoyed in solitude; the chanceacquaintances who offered themselves, many of them travelling alone asI was travelling, received no encouragement from me; I did not respondto their advances. In this I was but repeating my boyish experienceswhen I was living with my parents in London attics. Truly, the childis father to the man.
It may appear strange to those who are fond of friendships, and whocling ardently to them, to learn that, despite my loneliness, I hadnot a dull moment. Nature was very beautiful to my soul, its forms andchanges most entrancing. I cared little for the great towns andcities. The modes of life therein, especially those which wereexemplified by the absurd lengths and extravagances to which fashiondrives its votaries, excited in me a very sincere contempt, and I wasamazed that people could be so blind to the sweetest joys ofexistence. I visited the theatres, but they had, for the most part, nofascination for me. I saw great actresses associated with buffoons,and often themselves buffooning; I followed, at first with interest,the efforts of a be-puffed actress, who rose to the terrors and thebeauties of her part in one fine scene, and did not consider the restof her mimic life, as depicted on the boards, worth the trouble ofconsistency; I was present at the performance of dramas which wereabsolutely false in their action and sentiment. What pleased me bestwere the short poetical episodes, occupying less than an hour in theirrepresentation, and in which two or three good actors sustained andpreserved the unities in excellent style. But these were side dishes,and only served to bring into stronger relief the larger and grosserfare provided for the intellectual education of the masses. I went tothe opera, and could only enjoy it by shutting my eyes, so manyabsurdities were forced upon my sight: and as this drew unpleasantattention upon me, I was compelled to deprive myself of the enjoyment.I strolled into the gambling saloons, and gazed in amazement upon thefaces of men and women in which the lowest passions were depicted.Human nature in those places was degraded and belittled. "Is theresome mysterious hidden sweetness in this many-sided frenzy?" I askedmyself, and I staked my money, and endeavoured to discover it; but thegame did not stir my pulses; I lost or won with indifference. I soontired of it, and bade adieu to the rooms, with a sigh of compassionand contempt for the slaves who fretted their hearts therein.
My chiefest pleasures were experienced in small villages in mountainand valley, where there was so little attraction for the ordinarytourist that he seldom lingered there. I delighted in primitivenessand simplicity, where human baseness had the fewest opportunities tothrive, and where human goodness was the least likely to be spoilt bypublicity. It was in these places that I came to the conclusion thatthe largest amount of happiness is to be found among smallcommunities.
But although I was consistent, up to a certain period, in decliningall offers of intimacy and friendship, it happened that I was to comeinto contact with a man for whom, in a short space of time, I grew tohave a very close regard. His name was Louis, by profession a doctor,by descent a German.
We met in the woods near Nerac, in Gascony. I was fording awatercourse which intersected part of the forest when my foot slippedupon a round stone which I had supposed was fast embedded in theearth, but which proved to be loose. I made a spring upon the stone,and it rolled over, and landed me in the water. A wetting was of noaccount, but when I attempted to rise I uttered a sharp cry of pain. Ihad sprained my ankle.
With difficulty I crawled from the water to dry ground, upon which Isat, nursing my ankle, which already was swelling ominously. In ashort time the pain became intolerable, and I endeavoured to draw theboot from my foot, and finding this was not possible, I cut it awaybit by bit, and then cut my stocking loose. I experienced instant anddelicious relief. The pleasure we derive from the relief of pain isthe most exquisite of all physical sensations. I bathed my ankle withwater from the cold stream, which somewhat reduced the swelling, butthe relief was only temporary, for when I endeavoured again to rise,the torture produced by my attempt to sustain the weight of my bodyupon my foot was so keen that I fell prone to the ground in agony.There were no trees sufficiently near by the aid of which I mightmanage to walk a short distan
ce, and in the intervals of reliefafforded by further applications of cold water, I ruefullycontemplated my position.
I had walked twenty miles during the day, and I was a stranger in thelocality. The time was evening, and no person was in sight to assistme. From inquiries I made on the road earlier in the day I calculatedthat Nerac must be at least three miles distant from the spot uponwhich I lay. To crawl that distance was impossible. I looked upward tothe sky. Heavy clouds charged with rain, were approaching in mydirection, and the prospect before me of having to pass the night inthe woods was by no means pleasant. I had learnt from experience thatthe storms in this region were violent and fierce; and, moreover, Ihad eaten nothing since the morning. Hunger was making strong demandsupon me--all the stronger, as is the way of things, because ofhelplessness. I called aloud, and only a very fine echo--which I wasnot in the mood to admire and appreciate--answered me. Again and againI strove to rise, and again and again I sank to the ground, My anklewas getting worse, and had by this time swelled to double its usualgirth. I turned my head in every direction, in eager quest of a humanform, but none met my view. A squirrel sprang out of the woods, andstopped suddenly short at sight of me. It remained quite still, at adistance of a few paces gazing at me, and then it darted away,inspiring within me an absurd envy of its active movements. Birds,with cries both shrill and soft, flew to their nests; frogs croakednear the edges of the water. Evening fell, the sun descended; nightwas my enemy, and was eager to get at me, and soon its darkness fellaround me like a shroud. This had ever been an enjoyment to me, but onthe present occasion it served but to aggravate the mental disorderproduced by my sufferings. The figures I conjured up in the gloom werethe reverse of soothing, and I found myself occasionally labouringunder a kind of delirium. One of my fancies was so peculiar that Iwill recall it. I saw on the left of me a deep cave, which as I gazedupon it grew to an enormous size. I had been looking in that directiononly a moment before, and had seen nothing; the sudden vision of thisgreat cave in the midst of black space was, therefore, the moresurprising. Its roof and sides resembled a huge feathery disk, anddeep back in the recess, embedded in the furthermost wall, were twostrange-looking globes, surrounded by spots and curved lines of thecolours of orange, brown, and soft grey. These globes were instinctwith motion, and seemed to shrink and swell, while the coloured spotsand curves around them contracted or expanded, in obedience to somemysterious law. The feathery roof and walls seemed also to contractand expand in sympathy, and these wave-like movements made it appearas if the cave were a living monster. I managed to raise myself uponmy elbow for a moment, and as I did so I was terror-struck bybeholding the monster cave rise and fly past me--in the shape of anowl that had wandered my way in search of food.
Fortunately the storm held off a while, but about midnight, as near asI could judge in an interval of reason, a few heavy drops of rainfell. I really felt as if this were to be my last night on earth. Soonthe storm broke over the forest, and in a moment I was drenched to theskin. This, with the pain that was throbbing in every vein, and thehunger that was gnawing at me, completely exhausted me, and I becameinsensible.
I was awakened by the touch of hands, by the sound of a human voice. Ilanguidly opened my eyes, and saw a man bending over me. The storm hadpassed away, and the sun was just rising. I had barely strength tonote these signs, for my condition was pitiable. The man addressed mefirst in French, then in German; but although I could speak bothlanguages my senses were so dazed that I had no understanding of themat the moment. I murmured faintly a few words in my native tongue.
"Ah," said the man, quickly and cheerfully, answering me in my ownlanguage, which he spoke well, but with a foreign accent, "you areEnglish?"
I murmured "Yes."
"Of course," he said, "I should have known without asking. You arefaint and exhausted. I perceive how it is. You crossed the stream, andfell, and sprained your ankle."
I nodded, dreamily and vacantly. All the time he spoke he was busybinding my ankle with some linen he had taken from a leather bag whichhung by a strap from his shoulders.
"How long have you been lying here? But to give me that informationjust now is not imperative. You wish to tell me. Well?"
"I have been here at least since yesterday--perhaps longer."
"That is bad, very bad; I can judge from the sprain that you must havebeen here a great many hours. It is a very severe sprain; there isinflammation, great inflammation; you will not be able to walk forweeks. But what does that matter? These are the smallest ills of life.Were you on your way to Nerac? Do not answer me in speech. Nod, orshake your head. Rally your strength--for a few moments only--so thatI may know how to deal by you. Come, you are a strong man. Compelyourself not to swoon. Stupid that I am! I have generally a flask withme; but I have forgotten it, and just when it is most needed. It shallnot occur again; but that resolve will not help us now, will it? Wereyou on your way to Nerac? A nod. Yes, then. Have you friends there? Ashake. No, then. Travelling for pleasure? Yes. An English gentleman?Yes. It is fortunate for you, friend, that, warned by the signs of acoming storm last night, I delayed my return home till this morning,and that, to prevent my people being for too long a time uneasy aboutme, I took a short cut, which is seldom used. The path is so littlefrequented that you might have lain here for another weary day. I amfrom Nerac; my home is there, and my family. Attend. I am going tolift you upon my horse; I call it, and it comes to me. See, it kneelsat my bidding. We are friends, my horse and I; and it understands me;it can do anything but speak. Observe that I shorten the left stirrup,so that your sprained foot may find a fairly easy resting-place, andthat I slightly lengthen the right stirrup, In order that leaningto the right, with your sound foot firmly planted, you may throw allyour weight on that side. Now, I place my arm under your leftshoulder--thus, and I have a firm hold of you. Do not fear; I am verystrong, and my dear dumb brute will keep very still. I place your armround my neck--thus. Clasp me as closely as your strength will permit.That is right--it is cleverly done. Now, resolve to bear a littlesharp pain for a moment, only for a moment. Englishmen are not onlyproverbially but actually brave and stout-hearted. There--it isaccomplished, and my dumb comrade is ready for the journey home. Areyou comfortably placed? Here is my shoulder on the right of you, torest your hand upon. Don't be fearful that you might lean too hard; Iam made of iron. What a glorious sunrise! There is a subdued beauty inthe colours of the sky after a great shower which is very charming. Ifyou can manage not to faint for a little while it will be ofassistance to us. The storm has cooled the air; you must feel itrefreshing to your hot skin. We will nurse you well again, never fear.There will be a slight fever to grapple with, in addition to thehealing of the ankle. Do not be disturbed by doubts that you may notbe in friendly hands. I am a physician, and my name is Louis--DoctorLouis. Nerac is a most lovely spot. When you are well, we will showyou its beauties. You are a brave young fellow to smile and keep youreyes open to please your doctor. There--that is a rabbit dartingthrough the sunlight--and the birds, do you hear them? They aresinging hymns to the Creator. Yonder, high up in the distance, wingingits way to the rosy light, is a skylark. 'Hail to thee, blithespirit!' It is better for me to take you home in this way than toleave you lying by the stream yonder, while I went to Nerac to fetchassistance. You might have thought I was never coming back, and thetorture of suspense would have been added to your other discomforts.Then, we shall reach Nerac a good many minutes earlier by this means.There are times when minutes are of serious importance. We are on aneminence, and are about to descend the valley which leads straight toNerac. If you were quite yourself you would be just able to catch aglimpse of the roofs of the houses in our pretty village. There arefew prettier--none in my opinion. We shall jolt a little going downhill. Bear up bravely; it will soon be over."
With such-like words of encouragement, most kindly and sympatheticallyuttered, in tones soothing and melodious, did Doctor Louis strive tolighten the weary way, but long before we came to the end of our
journey everything faded from my sight.
A Secret Inheritance (Volume 1 of 3) Page 6