“So what’s my present?” the boy asked eagerly as they were hanging up the damp dish towels. “Can I open it now?”
Bless her, Marietta smiled at him patiently, so Glenn didn’t chide his boy for being so insistent upon opening his gifts on a day reserved for quiet reflection.
“Right this way,” she said, gesturing toward the front room. She glanced back at Glenn. “Levi’s next bottle will be ready if you’ll warm it, please.”
Just like that, Marietta had assigned him a task that would keep him away from her—and her expression remained unreadable. As Glenn turned on the burner beneath the warming pan, he wondered if she was preparing him for another letdown. It was Christmas Day, and he’d told Marietta exactly how he felt about her, so why wasn’t she acting more excited? She’d hardly said ten words during their meal.
“What’s your take on this, Levi?” he murmured, watching his baby boy squirm in his padded basket. “When we move our clothes to the new house tomorrow, do you think it’ll be just us guys, the way it was before the fire?”
Levi swatted the air with his tiny hand, unconcerned about the subtle drama playing out between his father and the woman they’d both become so attached to.
When the milk had reached the right temperature, he scooped his boy out of the carrier basket and took the bottle out to where the rest of the family was gathered. He noticed that his dat had claimed the recliner, probably hoping Glenn would sit on the sofa with Marietta and Billy Jay—reenacting their earlier cozy scene.
Glenn thought better of interrupting the story she was about to read, however. Instead he sat in the padded rocking chair and let the sound of Marietta’s calming voice cast its serene spell.
“This is a book my mamm and dat gave Molly and me when we were about your age,” she was saying as Billy Jay cast aside the last of the simple wrapping paper. “It’s our favorite version of the Nativity story because even now we love the pictures and the pretty colors so much.”
Billy Jay appeared a bit disappointed, but he studied the book’s worn cover. “There’s Mary and Joseph and Baby Jesus,” he said, pointing at each figure. “And the cow and the sheep and the donkey are watchin’ from the back of the stable—and here’s a chicken on a nest!”
Marietta chuckled. “We always thought it was funny to have a hen in the picture, because the Bible doesn’t mention one,” she remarked. “But all manner of animals might have been there that night, sharing their stable with the Holy Family. You can read most of the words in this book, Billy Jay, so maybe you can tell me the story this time, jah?”
“I can’t wait to hear it,” Dat chimed in. “Do you suppose that hen will play a whole new part in the story?”
Billy Jay’s eyes lit up with interest as he opened the book. “Here they are, with Mary ridin’ the donkey and Joseph walkin’ along,” he said—and then he turned the book so his dawdi and Glenn could see the picture before he began to read. “‘A long, long time ago, a ruler named Cay . . .’”
“Caesar,” Marietta murmured.
“Oh, that guy! ‘A long, long time ago, a ruler named Caesar Augustus told all the people they had to pay a tax,’” Billy Jay began earnestly. “‘So Joseph and Mary set out for Bethlehem. It was a long trip from Naz . . . Nazareth! It was a long trip from Nazareth. Mary was going to have a baby, so she rode the donkey most of the way.’”
As his son turned the page, Glenn was glad the children’s book didn’t get into the details about Mary and Joseph not yet being married. As he shifted Levi so the baby could drink more of his milk, Glenn couldn’t help putting Marietta into the role of Mary in his mind, even though he suspected her cancer had rendered her unable to have children. Molly—and the other women around town—probably knew those details, but childbearing wasn’t a topic he and his men friends usually discussed.
Billy Jay began to read again, impressing Glenn with his ability to sound out words because he’d heard the names and places as he and the other scholars had prepared for the Christmas Eve program. He also realized that Marietta’s patient help had settled his son—given him a firm foundation for learning again—despite all the turmoil they’d gone through the past few months.
I owe her so much, Lord. She fills the empty spots in our lives with her gentle love, even though she seems determined not to declare her feelings. You’ve got to help me get it right when I talk to her about joining our family—because thanks to her, I realize that despite our losses, Christmas has come anyway. There’s no greater gift than being in Marietta’s presence.
Glenn blinked. Somehow, after all the depression and heartache and times when he’d felt too low to see anything higher than the scuffed toes of his boots, Christmas had come anyway.
As Billy Jay kept reading, Glenn was reminded that the world had been wallowing in sin and chaos when God had sent His son to save humanity, His greatest creation. Wasn’t it just like God, who held the world in the palm of His hand, to once again reach out during troubled times to save His all-too-human son Glenn Detweiler from the turmoil that had overwhelmed him? It was too wonderful—too amazing—that the Lord of all had known exactly what he’d needed in his hour of darkest desperation. Yet Jesus’ dat had reached out and offered hope and the possibility of a whole new life when he’d prompted Glenn to accept Marietta’s hospitality.
Glenn blinked, suddenly overcome with emotion. As he listened to Billy Jay reading the simplified version of the Christmas story, leaning against Marietta because he loved her so much, Glenn knew he couldn’t take no for her answer. The baby he held, who’d become dependent upon Marietta’s devotion, and the seven-year-old who looked to her for guidance, would be even more devastated than he would if she refused his offer of marriage.
“Look! The nest has little chicks in it!” Billy Jay exclaimed as he came to the end of the story. “Mary had a baby, and the hen hatched three!”
“She did,” Marietta agreed, turning the book’s final page. “And what’s this final Scripture? Teacher Lydianne has probably written it on the board for you—or she will, sometime this school year.”
Billy Jay’s face lit up as he recognized the words. “Jah, we learn a verse every day, and we had this one a while back. If I stumble over the big words, help me out, okay?”
He closed his eyes, squinting a bit to remember. “‘For God so loved the world—’”
“‘—that He gave His only-begotten Son,’” Marietta joined him softly.
“‘—that whosoever believeth in Him,’” Dat recited with them, his voice low and serene.
“‘—should not perish but have eternal life,’” Glenn put in. He sighed with the rightness of the moment, at the way his little child had led them into sharing a verse that stated the very essence of love come down at Christmas—and sharing it as a family.
Billy Jay’s smile lit up the entire front room. “We sound really gut together, ain’t so? Almost as gut as when the men’s group sings their songs, except we were just talkin’.”
“Jah, there’s a harmony to it when folks share the Gut News together,” Glenn’s father agreed. With a knowing glance at Glenn, Dat rose from the recliner. “After listening to you read that fine Christmas story, Billy Jay, I feel like taking a walk to enjoy the sunshine and the fresh snow. How about if you come with me? You never know—we might find the makings for a snowman out there.”
“I’m on it!” Billy Jay crowed as he sprang from the sofa. “I’ll grab a carrot for his nose, and we can find some sticks for his arms—”
As the boy raced out to the mudroom ahead of his dawdi, Glenn knew exactly what Dat was up to—and he knew better than to waste this rare time alone with Marietta. Before she could find another excuse to avoid him, he headed over to the sofa and handed Levi to her. As he’d hoped, she accepted the baby without thinking about it—which allowed Glenn to sit down beside her.
“Please hear me out, honey,” he pleaded softly. “You’ve been so quiet this morning, as though my card must’ve—”
<
br /> “Glenn, you need a wife who can give you more children. A wife who’s not flat and—and deformed,” Marietta blurted. And then she burst into tears.
He hadn’t anticipated such an emotional outburst—and he’d never been good at consoling Dorcas or his mother when they’d gotten upset enough to cry. Glenn had no response to the way Marietta felt about her body, yet he sensed this was his last chance to make things right with her.
“We’ve known each other for years, Marietta—since before you had your cancer and before I lost my wife and mamm and home. I love you. I know that now,” he countered gently, slipping his arm around her slender, trembling shoulders. “I love you—and jah, I need you—just the way you are, Marietta.”
Glenn inhaled deeply, gathering his fortitude to go on—although he had no idea what to say. “Your body went through some tough stuff fighting off your cancer, but you came through your ordeal with your spirit intact,” he offered. “My body is just fine, but my spirit has taken a beating these past months. Maybe our weaknesses can balance out and we can be whole again if we’re together, jah?”
Marietta’s lip was trembling as she wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. She didn’t say anything, but she was listening to him, so Glenn dared to continue.
“Without your help and kindness, I might not have been celebrating Christmas today,” he insisted. “After I lost Mamm and Dorcas, I seemed to alternate between trying too hard for some woman’s attention—as you pointed out earlier—and feeling so low I could hardly talk at all. If we hadn’t come here a few weeks ago, there would’ve been no telling of the Christmas story for our family. I probably would’ve rolled myself into a ball and stayed in bed this morning, waiting to die.”
He had no idea where the words had come from, but they caught Marietta’s attention. Her green eyes, alight with protective fire, held his gaze. “But you did come. And I would never have allowed you to stay in bed on Christmas morning—”
“See there?” Glenn pointed out. “You care about me—I can feel it—but you’ve let your worries about your body get in the way of your happiness. I can’t allow that to happen—and why would I?” he asked as he leaned closer to her. “You’re the most beautiful woman I know, Marietta—beautiful from the inside out. And I’m not just saying that to win you over.”
Her mouth opened but then shut again. She sniffled loudly, so Glenn pulled his handkerchief from his pocket and offered it to her.
Marietta gazed at his bandanna as though no one had ever offered her a finer gift. “I don’t know, Glenn,” she murmured. “I’ve been single so long, maybe I won’t adjust well to being a wife and a—a mamm to your boys.”
“But you’re already their mamm,” he whispered. “You slipped into that role the moment you took us into your home, and you’re a natural at it. Far as I’m concerned, you made Billy Jay a happy, sociable boy again—and you’ve been so gut about including Dat, giving him useful things to do. And look at Levi,” he added softly, nodding toward the baby dozing in her arms. “You hold him just right. You fix his goat’s milk the way he likes it, and he’s getting bigger and stronger by the day.”
Glenn paused. Overkill was the last thing he wanted, but he needed Marietta to know that he’d noticed all of the ways she’d helped the Detweiler family during a trying time. “You’ve made a difference to everyone in our family, Marietta,” he said. “When you’re ready, we’d all love for you to join us, honey.”
Her eyes shone with unshed tears and their rims were red from her crying spell, yet Glenn couldn’t resist her. He gently brushed his lips against hers and eased away, for fear he’d scare her off for the final time.
Marietta sighed softly, exhaling until the tension left her shoulders. When a stray tear slipped down her cheek, he thumbed it away, marveling at the softness of her skin and the solid emotional strength that resided beneath her apparent fragility.
“Take your time giving me your answer, honey,” he murmured. “Meanwhile, I hope you’ll allow me to back up my words with actions that will prove my intentions are only the best. Will that be all right?”
After a slight hesitation that left him hanging, Marietta nodded.
Relief surged through him. She hadn’t shut him down! Glenn sensed he still had to proceed carefully, however.
“Can I hold you while we sit here?” he whispered. “Once Billy Jay and Dat get back, there won’t be much chance for private conversation—but I’ll find ways for us to have time together, if you’ll let me.”
A hesitant smile, like the sun peeking out from behind winter’s gray clouds, brightened Marietta’s dear face.
As he held her close and felt the warmth of her body settling against his, Glenn dared to hope that something wonderful—and permanent—might come from their Christmas Day conversation.
Chapter 29
As Molly stepped into the mudroom at her home place on Second Christmas morning, she was met by the aromas of frying hamburger and something cinnamon-sweet in the oven—and utter silence. The Detweilers’ buggy hadn’t been in the stable when she’d arrived, but Molly had expected to hear a baby chattering and see Levi’s carrier in the kitchen with her sister—
But Marietta sat at the kitchen table alone, with her head down on her arms. How could this be, on the most joyous of Amish holidays?
“Did you miss me, Marietta?” Molly called out cautiously as she hung up her coat and bonnet.
Her twin quickly sat up, as though she didn’t want to be caught napping—or crying. “I did miss you,” she replied. “It felt so odd not having you around on Christmas Day, Molly. I—I hope that never happens again.”
Red flags fluttered in the back of Molly’s mind. This was not the response she’d been expecting after Marietta had spent the past day and a half with the Detweilers. Or had something gone wrong? Had Glenn and his tribe left—or had Marietta sent them home?
Molly slid into the chair beside her sister, choosing her words carefully. She’d been ready to burst with the exciting news of her engagement, but it didn’t feel like the right time to share so much happiness. “What happened? Did Glenn finally find his big surprise? Have the guys gone to their new house—without you?”
When Marietta focused on her, Molly saw the telltale shine of unshed tears in her sister’s eyes. “Jah, Glenn saw all the stuff the congregation took to the house when he went last night,” she replied. “They took their clothes over there this morning, now that the roads are passable.”
She looked away, lowering her voice. “Glenn asked me to marry him again this morning, Molly. At first I refused—I had a gutbye speech all planned out after I found a Christmas card from him that said . . . he loves me.”
Molly’s eyes widened. “But? We already knew how he felt about you, after you got his family’s birthday card.”
Her sister laughed softly, shaking her head. “When I told him that I couldn’t give him children and that I’m damaged goods—not a whole woman—he was having none of that. He said I was beautiful, from the inside out—”
“And he has that right, Marietta.”
“—and that he’d give me time to be sure of my answer, but he really wants me to be a part of their family,” she continued in a rush. “Molly, if I’d had you here to reassure me, maybe I would’ve been more positive about his proposal. And I don’t want to leave you here at the farm all alone—”
“Fear not, sister,” Molly put in firmly. “Follow your heart where Glenn’s concerned, and don’t worry about me, because Pete and I are getting hitched as soon as he’s completed his physical therapy and he’s working again. I told him I wasn’t letting him out of the remodeling job he’s promised us just because he’s laid up for a while.”
Her sister gasped and threw her arms around Molly’s neck. “Oh, that’s such gut news!” she exclaimed. “I’m so happy for you—and I wish I weren’t such a worrywart when it comes to the future. I wish I had more of your grit, sister.”
“Oh, Pete accused me of
being plenty gritty, because I yanked the rug out from under his pity party,” Molly put in with a chuckle. “But getting married is the right thing for us, and we both know that now.”
Molly paused, grasping her sister’s hand. “You’ll always have a place here after Pete and I marry, if that’s what you really want, Marietta. But how will you feel, watching our happiness and missing out on your own? If you ask me, it doesn’t sound like much of a life.”
Marietta blinked, as if a light bulb had just come on in her mind. “When you put it that way . . . I would feel like a third wheel, ain’t so?”
“And you’d be putting up with Riley for constant company instead of having two cute little boys to cuddle with,” Molly reminded her. “Then there’s the deep disappointment you’d see on all four of those Detweilers’ faces at church and around town—because you would see them. Meanwhile, Pete and I would be enduring the same sort of hangdog sadness on your face all the time, jah?”
When Molly emphasized her point by pulling the corners of her mouth into an exaggerated frown, Marietta finally laughed.
“You’re right about that part,” she admitted.
“Of course I’m right! Just ask Pete.”
Marietta smiled, looking more like her usual confident self. “Denki for talking some sense into me, sister,” she said softly. “What would I do if I didn’t have you?”
“We’ll always have each other,” Molly insisted, wrapping her arms around her sister’s slender shoulders. “Even after we’re married and taking charge of our separate families, we’ll be twins—and we’ll have noodles to make, and we won’t live very far away from each other. It’s all gut, Marietta.”
Her sister raised an eyebrow. “Are you sure about the noodle-making part? After we marry, our husbands—or Bishop Jeremiah—might lay down the law and declare that we’re not to work at that anymore.”
Christmas Comes to Morning Star Page 26