Falling

by Kris Bryant

  “It’s tight for two, but not impossible,” I said. I was nervous that she was this close to me. She leaned on her side, her knee slightly bent and on top of mine. I felt her fingertip on my cheek and closed my eyes again.

  “Look at me, Shaylie,” she said.

  I turned toward her and was greeted with another kiss. It was the kind of kiss that was so good my body raised with hers when she tried pulling away. I fell back and banged my head on the ground.

  “Ow.” I rubbed my head and winced. She put her hand on my head sympathetically. “I hope you brought a pillow because the ground isn’t very soft.”

  Piper had recommended bringing yoga mats. The idea was to pack light because we had to carry everything with us. Blow-up mattresses and blankets were out of the question. This was proving to be the best and worst first camping trip ever.

  “Trust me, with the activity you had today, you will fall asleep quickly and soundly. That I can promise you.”

  I took her hand and placed it against my throat. Her eyes widened when she finally felt my heartbeat. It was fast and gaining momentum. “I don’t think I’ll fall asleep fast tonight. Too much going on right now.”

  She kept her fingers on my neck when she kissed me again. Heat flamed through my blood and my skin was on fire. My heart kicked up a few notches, the blood pumping faster and faster until it was hard to catch my breath. She ended the kiss, but her mouth hovered above mine. “Your heartbeat is without a doubt one of the sexiest things I’ve ever felt.”

  Chills exploded across my body even though I was warm and the temperature outside was a step below stifling. I shivered.

  “Hey, where are you girls?” Meagan asked.

  Guilt washed over me, and from the look on Piper’s face, it touched her, too. She scooted out of the tent.

  “My tent might be big enough for two, but barely. Look at Shaylie’s tent. She threw it up in the air and it came down just like that.” Piper pointed at the little tube I was expected to sleep in.

  While everyone was looking at my tent, I crawled out of Piper’s and finished hammering in the ties. The tent was secure, but I needed to stay busy. They knew I was in the tent with Piper, but nobody said a word.

  “Dinner is hot dogs and roasted marshmallows. And whatever else you brought on the trip,” Lani said.

  I had taken Piper’s advice and packed food like I was being chased by zombies during an apocalypse. Visions of getting lost and rationing food were constantly on my mind. I had fruit, trail mix, protein bars, jerky, and crackers all packed in the panniers bags Piper had loaned me. The only items in my waterproof backpack were fresh clothes, a towel, toiletries, and extra shoes. I spent too much money on this trip, but holy shit it was worth it. The trip was two and a half days, and we’d already survived the first day. My legs were sore, but I was so pumped full of adrenaline that I felt I could do it again tomorrow as long as my reward was more soul-warming kisses.

  “Do you need anything else to eat or are you set?” Piper asked.

  “I think I’m good. I have enough food for an army.” I pointed to the saddlebags and all of the food within the deep pockets.

  Piper poked around. “This is why you’re struggling. You have too much weight on your bike. Do you really need six apples?”

  “I thought people would help me eat, so you’re more than welcome to anything I have,” I said. I froze at my innuendo.

  “I’ll keep that in mind.” She squeezed my waist and walked away to help Meagan and Jamie round up rocks and logs to sit on. I shivered at her touch. Being close to her on this camping trip was going to kill me. I sighed and unpacked a few things. I found my metal dinner plate that made it look like I was panning for gold. I also had a tiny foldable chair that was probably going to destroy my back. I carried everything over to the fire and made a place for myself in the circle. The fire was a good height and Cheryl was already roasting hot dogs. I didn’t know where they came from and I didn’t question it. These girls were pros and I literally was along for the ride.

  “First day is always the hardest. Tomorrow will be a piece of cake. Plus most of the trails are downhill so it’ll be an easier ride,” Meagan said.

  “It’s supposed to rain tonight,” Lani said. She looked at the notification on her Apple Watch. We got reception up here in the middle of nowhere? Impressive.

  “We’ll put the food up and go to bed early. It’s only seven. What time is the rain supposed to hit?” Meagan asked.

  “Not for a few hours. We can relax,” Lani said.

  “Will it be gone by tomorrow?” I asked. I hated mud and getting dirty. It was one of the main reasons why I wasn’t a nature girl. I liked showers and baths and floral smelling soaps. This trip was definitely pushing me out of my comfort zone.

  “Yes, but we’ll have a muddy camp to clean up,” Lani said. Everyone groaned.

  “That doesn’t sound good,” I said. I ate my roasted hot dog in silence, worrying about the storms. I didn’t like storms before the crash, and now loud thunderclaps frightened me. How did I not know it was going to rain? “Is it just rain, or storms?”

  “Let me pull up radar. Hang on,” Lani said. She clicked around on her watch until she found Doppler. “Looks like maybe a round of storms. The radar is red, but only for a little bit. Most of it is yellow, so that should be rain only.”

  “I hate that the weather here is so unpredictable,” I grumbled.

  “Are you afraid of storms?” Meagan asked.

  “I don’t like loud noises now.”

  Everybody got quiet at my confession. Piper broke the silence by pulling out the bag of marshmallows and tossing everybody a few to roast. Sugar. It was a great mood enhancer. I impaled two on a stick and slowly turned it over the flame. It was so relaxing to sit in front of the fire and just chill. I was clean, warm, and happy. Piper had kissed me. And it wasn’t a chaste, friendly kiss. It was the kind of kiss that promised so much more. A tinge of guilt pricked at my heart, but not enough to make me want to stop. I thought four months was long enough to mourn, but I was also selfish and stood to gain the most. I didn’t know her state of mind. Was this because she was lonely? Or that I was her last connection to Emma and Robin? Or was it that she genuinely liked me? So many questions.

  “Shaylie? Shaylie?”

  I turned to face Cheryl. “I’m sorry, what?”

  Cheryl pointed at my marshmallows that now resembled briquettes. Tiny orange flames were eating away at the fluffiness.

  “Shit.” I pulled them to me and blew out the flames. They were almost not worth eating, but I had to play it off like that’s how I enjoyed them. Once I got past the chalky burnt taste, the creamy warm center wasn’t bad.

  “I can’t believe you ate that.” Cheryl had a look of pure disgust on her face.

  “Honestly, I can’t believe I did either, but it wasn’t too bad. I’ll pay attention the next time,” I said. Piper tossed me two more marshmallows and I caught them with one hand. I put them on the stick, sat back in my chair that was three inches off the ground but surprisingly sturdy, and listened to all of their past camping stories. I laughed with them and begged for more details when the stories were about Piper. Emma had been on several trips, but Robin never had. The girls were careful not to talk about Emma too much, but it was hard when so many of the stories were about her. Piper’s smile had a touch of sadness to it, but she participated in the conversations. When the first flash of lightning lit up the sky, we all jumped and started packing up.

  “I need your panniers bags,” Piper said.

  “Suddenly six apples doesn’t seem like a lot, huh?” I thought she was still hungry.

  “No. We need to secure the food.”

  “What do you mean?” I was thoroughly confused. “You told me this was a watertight bag.”

  “Waterproof, yes. Bear proof, no.”

  I stared at her. “Are you serious?”

  She pointed to a tree several feet away with a large branch that jutted o
ut from the trunk. “That’s where we will put the food. Give me everything you’ve got.”

  I pulled out a few protein bars from my backpack and added them to the saddlebags. “That’s it. I promise.”

  Piper handed Cheryl my bag and hers and we watched as she tied all the bags together and hoisted them up and away from camp. The first raindrops fell as Cheryl was tying the rope around a tree trunk. We all hustled back to the tents. Cheryl and Meagan had a big tent, so we all dived into that one. I barely had my legs in before the rain poured down. It was a tight fit for sure. I wasn’t entirely comfortable with it. I still had issues with small spaces, even though my own tent resembled part of a hamster Habitrail.

  “That was close,” I said. I flinched at the thunder and squeezed the edge of the mat that I was sitting on. I felt Piper’s warm hand rub small, comforting circles on my back. She knew about the aversion I had to small spaces and loud noises.

  “This won’t last long. Then we can head over to my tent so we aren’t so cramped here,” she whispered. I didn’t look at her but nodded in agreement.

  I tried to pay attention to the fun conversation the girls continued in the tent, but I was spent. I was tired and tense and just wanted alone time.

  “Okay, the rain is letting up. We’re going to go. See you in the morning.” Piper all but shoved me out of the opening. We raced over to our tents and crawled into hers. I brushed my wet hair away from my eyes and tucked the strands behind my ears. “Do you want my towel? It’s probably dry now,” Piper said.

  “Oh, no. I can just go to my tent and get mine if it starts bothering me.” It was not lost on me that my T-shirt was damp and my nipples were at attention because of the temperature drop and because I was so close to her.

  “Here, at least cover up with my sleeping bag. And lie down. Sitting up isn’t working.”

  Christ, she was killing me. I stretched out and watched as she spread the sleeping bag over us.

  “Do you mind if I put my head on your shoulder? I mean, because I want to, but also it’s more comfortable in this small tent.”

  I patted my shoulder and she laid her head down, but not before I saw her beautiful smile. She was enjoying this. I was, too, except the storm was scaring the shit out of me. I jumped every time it thundered. She rested her hand on my stomach to calm me. My energies went from surviving the storm to surviving her touch. My voice hitched when she drew little circles on my stomach. I forgot the storm. Neither one of us spoke, but so much was happening in this tiny space. Her fingertips brushed the bare skin that peeked out from above my shorts. Her featherlight strokes made me want to press my hips up into her. I almost groaned when she pulled the shirt down to cover my skin, draped her leg over mine, and pulled the blanket up to our waists.

  “Are you tired?” Her voice rumbled thickly against my throat.

  I smiled when her fingertips found the pulse in my neck. I knew it was still racing. I felt her smile against my shoulder.

  “I’m a little tired. It’s nice to relax here with you.” I wouldn’t really call this relaxing. This was more like a test. I cursed the lack of room in this tent, but it was a blessing in disguise. Confinement prevented me from doing anything stupid. Whatever this was, we were going to move at her pace.

  “I’m sorry storms are hard for you.” Her hand was still on my stomach, making me feel safe and protected.

  “I was kind of scared of them before the accident, but now anytime I hear a loud noise, I just freak out. I’m sorry. I’m sure I’ll get over it. It’s not like the accident happened during a storm. I’m just being ridiculous.”

  “Hey, it’s okay. I really do understand. I always have to have noise around me. When the world goes silent, I start thinking and then it gets hard for me.”

  Guilt washed over me as I held Piper. What was I doing? Was she really ready for a relationship? This wasn’t going to be about sex. Piper didn’t strike me as the kind of girl who easily jumped into bed. No, she was a romantic. She liked flowers, soft kisses, long walks, and movie nights.

  “Are you going to be okay with me?” I asked. I held my breath and waited.

  She looked up at me and touched my lips. She didn’t say anything, only nodded and gave me a sad half-smile. “I’m sure I’ll have moments, but yes, Shaylie, I want this with you.”

  And I melted. Everything I wanted was right here in this tent with me. I leaned up and kissed her. It was tough from this angle, but I wanted her to know that I was not taking this lightly. I knew what a precious gift she was.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Where was she? I paced my living room, peeking out the window every ten seconds until I finally saw her car pull up into my driveway. I squealed a bit, then smoothed my skirt to regain my composure. Tonight was our first real date. We had stolen a few moments during the rest of the camping trip, but nothing like the first night. I was anxious to get her alone and to myself. I had to skip yoga all week because of work, but she understood. I flat out refused to work Friday night, much to Brittany’s chagrin. Fuck that place. Their demands were ridiculous.

  “Hi.” I opened the door before Piper had a chance to ring the bell.

  “Hi.”

  I took her hands and pulled her toward me. I looked at her face, her full, almost pouty lips, her light brown eyes, and her long lashes that held only a hint of mascara. “You’re beautiful.” A nice pink blush splashed across her cheeks at my words.

  “Thank you.”

  I had to kiss her. I’d waited all week for another taste of her. I leaned forward and captured her lips with mine, moaning at the pleasure a simple kiss did to me.

  “Hi,” I said again.

  “You said that already.”

  “Yeah, well, I’m happy you’re here. Come on in for a bit.”

  She followed me into the living room and sat across from me in an armchair. “Tell me about our date.” Her voice held a note of excitement.

  “Just know I’m really bad at picking out fun things to do. Marisa has forbidden me from picking out activities ever since our cooking class debacle.”

  “What happened? Or do I even dare to ask?” Piper laughed at whatever she was thinking, or at my look of shame.

  I waved her off as if she was to ignore my statement. “Oh, never mind that. Let’s just say she had every right to ban.”

  I watched her lean back in her chair. Comfortable Piper looked relaxed and utterly fuckable. The temperatures were starting to cool at night and she was dressed accordingly. Dark fitted jeans, a nice short-sleeved blouse, and ballet flats. She had a short, fashionable jacket with her. I wore a skirt with a peasant blouse and strappy sandals. I had a lightweight sweater to slip on if it got too chilly. She was accessorized to the max. She was wearing the silver bracelets she’d had on when we first met. She had a total of three rings on her hands: a silver band on her thumb, a thin silver ring on her middle finger, and, on her left hand, a ring that she spun when she was nervous. Like right now.

  “I’m sure you have a great night planned.”

  I shrugged like I didn’t put a lot of effort into planning, but I thought I came up with something that was fun and different. I was lucky Marisa offered to help. “Okay, so I didn’t want to do the typical dinner and a movie or a concert because then we’d never be able to hear one another, so I thought maybe we could go to a gallery opening and then grab dinner down at the square. Marisa’s friend, Lorie Stewart, has been working with a new medium and I thought it would be nice to support her.” Marisa had also informed me that the gallery was next to Twain’s, a restaurant that served really good food but wasn’t too fancy.

  “That sounds like fun,” Piper said.

  When she smiled, I felt weak. I was learning that Piper wasn’t a take-charge kind of woman, but the looks she shot me let me know it was okay if I wanted to. It was our first date, though. As much as I wanted to strip her naked and make love to her right there on the couch, I knew we were far from that point. We were going to take it slo
w. People were going to have to get used to us dating. If I read about a survivor of a plane crash who fell for the fiancée of a person who died in the crash, I would eat that shit up with a spoon. Our story had a ton of personal interest, but I was afraid of the blowback. The romantics of the world would sigh and smile at us like what happened was amazing, and the cynics would berate me for hitting on a woman who lost not one but two people she loved. Like I’d preyed on her for some reason. Her family was going to be in the latter category.

  “You look really nice.” She looked me over. “That’s a great color on you.”

  “Thank you. I figure this will be one of the last times I can get away with a skirt and sandals since fall is right around the corner.”

  “Fall is depressing. It seems like it’s here for two weeks and we slip right into winter,” she said.

  “At least our city is great at snow removal. And you don’t have far to go for work and I can work from home on bad days.”

  “Do you ski?” she asked.

  I laughed. “Surprisingly, yes, and I don’t suck at it. I’ve been skiing and snowboarding for a long time. Marisa and I just don’t go a lot.”

  “I can ski, but I can’t snowboard. I just don’t have the balance for it.”

  “Really? Isn’t balance like one of the things you stress to your students?” I was surprised at her confession.

  “Yes, but I don’t have the calf strength for it. Most of my strength is core and upper body,” she said.

  “Come on. That’s a cop-out. Toddlers snowboard around here. First snow, we’re going out and I’m going to show you how it’s done.” I was excited to show her something for a change. She’d introduced me to yoga and mountain biking and I’d introduced her to a whiny side of me that few people knew about. And she was here. She wanted to be here.

  “Let’s just take it easy. You’ve been through a lot. I’m just glad you didn’t fall on our bike trip. I didn’t even think about the possibility of that and how you might hurt yourself again.” She groaned.