“It’ll fly by. I promise.”
“Weren’t you dying to wear makeup at my age?” she asks.
“I’m not sure I...” Did I want to wear makeup at Stella’s age? When I started middle school, my best friend from elementary school, Ella, quit talking to me. She ditched our little friend group in favor of a more popular group of girls. I remember watching her in the lunchroom, her face caked with makeup and her clothes barely there, wondering where things had gone wrong. When had she changed so much? I remember...And like lightening, another memory explodes changing the lunchroom into a beach. There are two boys laughing at me pointing at the makeup I feel smeared across my face. One of the boys remarks, “You look kind of silly,” before falling into fits of laughter. I glance to the other boy and gasp when I meet the familiar blue eyes. The boy with the blue eyes...The beach vanishes taking him with it, and I’m in the makeup store where Stella stares at me like I’ve grown another head.
“Are you okay?” she asks.
“Yeah, I—” I’ve never dreamt during the day before. And this had been more than a dream. It felt like a memory, a real memory. Vivid and alive. As alive as the memory I had of Ella and the seventh-grade lunch table. My hands shake as I follow Stella over to one of the counters. She’s rattling off different brands and colors and brushes and what’s used for what. Give me a little mascara, blush, and lip gloss and I’m good to go, but not Stella. By the time we’re done, she’s given me of list of what she needs that will probably cost a year’s worth of my college tuition.
We get ice cream after the makeup store, then head back home. I’m surprised to see Hunter’s car in our driveway. “Maybe he’s come to beg you to say yes,” Stella says as she bounces out of the car. “I hope you think about it at least. Make him bring you flowers though.”
“Oh Stella.” I smile at her. “If anyone owes anybody flowers, it’s me owing him. And I hope he’s not here to beg. I love Hunter—I really do. But sometimes love doesn’t mean forever. Sometimes it’s just for right now. And I think that’s all we’ve ever been.”
Stella looks sad at my comment. “Is our love for now?”
“No Stella, definitely not. I told you I’ll always be in your life. Our love is forever. Sisters for life.” She grins and skips off to the front door. I take slow steps, nervous at what lies inside. Why is he here? What does he want? I don’t want to walk in on an angry Hunter any more than I want to walk in on a Hunter begging for me to change my mind. Should I just get back in the car? Drive somewhere—anywhere—until I know he’s gone? Maybe I should catch a plane back to school?
No, I can’t do that to him. He deserves more. He’s a great guy. He’s a great friend. He was a great boyfriend. I love him, but not like I should. I want to feel for someone what my mom feels for my dad. Someone who looks at me the way my dad looks at her when he returns home from a long flight. Someone who fills this part of me that’s missing.
It’s not Hunter.
We’ve been dating so long that he’s comfortable. And safe. I know what his kisses taste like, that he’s always dreamed of going to Alaska, and he hates the sound of sneakers squeaking on a basketball court. I know him, really know him. But he doesn’t fill that missing piece. I don’t miss him when we’re not together. I don’t feel incomplete without him.
I don’t feel like I do when I’m in the dream.
When I walk through the door, my mom calls for me from the kitchen. Hunter is plopped on one of the stools at the kitchen island, sipping on iced tea and chatting with my mom like last night never happened. I shift awkwardly and meet Mom’s eyes. Her gaze softens. “Why don’t I give you two sometime alone?” she says.
“Thanks,” I say as she disappears down to the hallway. I take the stool across from Hunter and press my hands on the granite countertop. “So? Why are you here?”
He sighs and looks down. When he looks up at me, I can see how red and swollen his eyes are. I am a terrible, terrible person. “Why?” he asks. “Can you tell me why? Is there somebody else?” His voice is small and quiet, and I’m not sure how to answer him. How does one explain a possible someone else in a dream?
“No,” I say. “There’s nobody else. And I really don’t know why.”
“Did I do something wrong?”
“Oh gosh, no. No, Hunter. You were perfect. I couldn’t have asked for a better boyfriend than you. Really. You’ve been—you’ve been amazing. I think half the girls at college are jealous of me when they see your picture and the thoughtful care packages you send. Really, if anyone’s wrong here, it’s me.”
“So, I’m good enough to be your boyfriend, but not good enough to be your fiancé.” There’s a spark of bitterness in his voice.
“No. It’s not that— “
“Then what?” He stands up, his voice rising with him. “What is it? Because I don’t get it. I thought we were happy. I thought this was always the plan. I thought—” He sinks back on the barstool and his shoulders slump.
“Hunter, I’m sorry. Really, I am. I guess, I just think there’s more out there—for both of us. I can’t explain— “
“So, I am right,” he says. “I’m not good enough for you.”
“No, did you ever think that maybe it’s me who’s not good enough for you?”
“Yeah, sure.” He stands up again, the softness in his eyes hardening into a glare. “Tell your mom I’m sorry, but I won’t make it to dinner.” He turns for the door, slamming it behind him. My mom is in the kitchen before I can take another breath, pulling me into a hug.
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah,” I say. “I just feel like a terrible person. Do you think I should’ve just said yes?”
“No,” Mom says. “Definitely not. Don’t say yes to something like that unless you’re completely sure. It’s not good for you. Not good for Hunter.”
“But maybe I—maybe I’m wrong. Maybe he is the one for me.”
“Sage, there’s no maybes when it comes to this.” My mom lifts my chin with her finger until our eyes meet. “I promise you there’s a guy out there. I promise. And when he asks you, you won’t even question it. You will know. You will know so much in your soul that the only answer you can give him is yes.”
“I hope so,” I say. “I really hope so.”
Chapter Nine
Adam
“Well, would you look at that?” Zane takes a bite of hash browns. “He stilth hath the ring. Go figure.”
“Can you not talk while eating, please? And not so loud.” My eyes stick to Mark like superglue. I follow him as he orders, as Zoey bounces back with our plates, as she chatters on about calling her and going out and—I don’t really know. I’m not listening. I smile and nod my head, hoping that whatever I’m agreeing to doesn’t involve a wedding ring and a trip to Las Vegas.
He has a ring. My father’s ring. It glitters under the diner lights as he rests his head in his hand and it’s taking everything inside of me to not get up, punch him in the face and pull the damn thing off his finger. Two years. Two years since I’d seen one of those. And punching him to get it off of him would take care of the two emotions ripping through my heart right now.
Zane takes a sip of water. “Well, excuse me for wanting to eat while it’s hot. I’m the one you nearly starved to death. He takes another bite of food, chewing loudly.
“He has a ring,” I say. “He has a freaking ring. Do you know how long I’ve been looking for one? He has it. He had it before and he still has it. He has my father’s ring.”
Zane points at his mouth and holds up a finger as he continues to chew. He follows it with a long swallow of water before opening his mouth to speak. “You sound like a broken record.”
“Really? That’s all you have to say?” I glance back at Zane. He’s digging into another bite of hash browns. He shovels it into his mouth, chewing dramatically.
He takes a big gulp from his water glass. “Of course, I care. We’ll get that ring. But food first, and you told m
e I couldn’t talk while I was eating.”
I sigh. “Now you decide to listen to me.”
He ignores me. “Aren’t you going to eat?” He points at my plate of food, still untouched.
“I’m really not hungry.” My eyes drift back to Mark. Zoey’s setting a plate of food in front of him. He lifts a fork, the light catching the ring again. Punch him, take the ring. It’s that easy. Punch him. Take the ring. Punch him…
I hate him.
“If you’re not going to eat.” Zane points his fork at my plate. I roll my eyes and nod my head. He smiles as he slides my plate to him.
“Seriously. Make it fast. We need that ring. We have nothing and you claim the world’s going to end. How can you just sit there?”
“I’m hungry.”
I press my palms onto the tabletop, tapping my fingers. “You’re the one who said we needed them soon. We can get one right now and get moving on the other four. Do you know how hard I looked before? We’re going to need all the time we have to get the rest. We can’t waste it sitting here and—”
“Settle down little bro.” He takes another bite, smirking as he chews. I really want to throttle him again. He raises an eyebrow before swallowing. “You really need to chill. We’ll get the ring. Trust me.”
“Okay, then let’s go get it.”
“Patience.” He holds up a finger and finishes off his water. “Now, get your girlfriend over here to get me a refill.”
“Seriously?” I explode, my voice catching Zoey’s attention.
“Settle down.” Zane drops his voice. “You don’t want to cause a big dramatic scene or anything.”
Okay, new plan. Punch Zane, Punch Mark, take ring.
Zane wrinkles his nose. “You’ve really got to work on your anger issues, little bro. Now go get me that water from that girlfr—"
“She’s not my girlfriend.”
“Really? Have you told her that?” He lifts an eyebrow.
I slam my hand on the table and let out a breath. “Exactly how are we related?”
“You know the answer to that question, little bro. Now blink those eyes and get that sweet little girl of yours over here.”
“I told you—”
“Yeah, yeah.” He leans back in the booth and crosses his arms. “But since you’re not interested in going after your supposed true love, she’ll have to do.”
“I told you—.”
“Yeah, yeah, all that crap about not messing up her life,” he tilts his head.
“You should talk. I don’t exactly see you tracking what’s her name, Jayme—yeah, that’s it.”
Zane’s winces. His eyes darken with something I’m not sure I’ve ever seen in him—pain. Regret. He breathes deeply, his chest expanding, and stands up. “I’m going to the bathroom. Just get me the refill.”
I close my eyes, regretting my words. Maybe I’d underestimated him. Maybe he’s not a stranger to what I was missing. When I open my eyes, I catch Zoey’s eye across the diner. I wave a hand and her face lights up like a Christmas tree. She bounces toward me.
“Adddamm,” she squeals. I’m really hating the way she says my name. Her face breaks into a wide smile, her teeth sparkling more than the ring on Mark’s finger. “What happened to your friend?”
“He’s in the bathroom.”
“Oh,” she smiles and slips into the booth across from me. She reaches across the table and grabs my hand. “I was hoping I’d get a chance to talk to you alone.”
“Uh—"
“Yeah, I figured you’d want to talk to me about that date you promised me. What do you like to do? I know there’s not a lot around here, but if you want to come over and we could watch a movie and have pizza. Or maybe we could drive to Ontonagon and do something fun—like an actual movie and dinner. Or bowling. Do you like bowling?”
“Huh?”
“It’s just a first date. It doesn’t have to be something big or fancy, really. I’m ready for a serious relationship—I mean, who isn’t. Marriage, babies, the whole white picket fence. But we’ve got lots of time for that,” she says. I wrinkle my forehead. I really hope she’s not talking about me. “What about you?”
“Well…” Zane reappears just in time. “Did you get my water?”
I smile weakly. “Yeah, Zoey. I was wondering if you could get Zane some water?” She stands up, a blush creeping along her cheeks. I wait for the guilt. I hadn’t meant to embarrass her, really, I hadn’t. But all I feel is a sliver of annoyance that she’s hanging all over me, latching on like a wood tick. I miss Sage.
Still…I don’t have to be so mean.
“Hey,” I call out to her before she walks away. “You’re sweet, very sweet. I’m not sure what you see in a guy like me, but you are sweet. I’m going to have to go away for a while and I don’t want to make you wait for me or anything.”
Her smile grows and her eyes light up. Yeah, not what I was going for. “Let me get the water,” she says. “We can plan the date once you return.”
“Brilliant.” Zane smirks once she leaves. “You can leave them hanging better than I ever could.” I glower at him.
“I hate you,” I whisper across the table. “I hate you. You’re just playing with me. You have no intentions of actually doing anything. Finding these rings or the Nexus. Hell, that’s probably not even a real—”
Zane holds up his hand, jerking his thumb toward Mark’s table. “Just watch and learn little brother.” He smiles and takes a sip from my water glass. “Gee, where is that girl anyway?” His eyes scan the diner in search of Zoey.
I steal a glance at Mark’s table, where Zoey stands over Mark topping off his coffee. She balances a water glass in her other hand. She’s at our table a moment later, placing the glass in front of Zane and smiling at us—well, smiling at me. “Anything else I can get you?”
“I think he’d like his check.” Zane points over to her shoulder where Mark is frantically waving for her.
Zoey furrows her brows. “Well okay, I’ll be right back though.” She gives an annoyed expression before turning around.
“Seriously. Focus.” I grip the edge of the seat as I glare intensely.
“Fine. Do you have a twenty?”
“A twenty? Like as in cash?”
“Yeah.” He continues to watch Mark and Zoey as I fish the money out of my pocket. I glance over to the table, where Zoey tears off a paper from her order pad and lays it in front of Mark.” I sigh as I slide the twenty across the table. “Is that enough to cover the food?”
“I think so. But we’ll know when Zoey brings the bill.”
“No, we’re not going to wait that long. Leave the money. If you want to throw in another five for a nice tip, do it.”
“What? Do you think I’m made from money?” I say sarcastically as I pull another bill from my pocket. I’m sure with as little as we ate it’s going to be a hundred percent tip, but I’m not in the mood to argue with Zane about it, or give Zoey a reason to chase us out of the diner. “Okay, done.”
“Good.” Zane’s gaze is still on Mark and a spark of annoyance arises through me. I don’t know what his plan is, but his games are getting really old. “Now get up slowly,” he says. “Then follow me out the door slowly. Keep it low key. Give a smile and a wink at Zoey, but don’t catch Mark’s attention, okay?” He finally turns back to me. “Can I count on you, little bro?”
“For now,” I grumble.
He raises his eyebrows, but then shifts to watch Mark and Zoey. “Okay, now,” he says. He stands up from the table, taking slow and deliberate steps circling the diner to avoid Mark’s table as much as possible.
When we reach the front door, I pause catching Zoey’s eye. I do my best to smile and wink. It must have worked, because she holds up her hand and mouths “Call me.” And then, like a song coming to an end, she fades, her hair turning blonde and her face morphing into Sage’s. The smile is one that sends my heart fluttering, light and soaring. Free of the anger and guilt that has been
dragging me down. God, I miss her. All too fast there is a tug on my arm, and I’m dragged back into reality. It’s Zoey who smiles at me, it’s Zane pulling me through the door into a night as cold and dark as my soul.
I need to get it through my thick brain. Sage will never be here in this diner or in this town again. She’ll never smile like that at me again.
Zane pulls me to the truck, our breath freezing in the air. Inside, I turn the key hoping to warm up the engine, but Zane reaches over and shuts it off.
I growl at him. “What is your deal? Is your grand plan to sit out here in a cold truck all night?”
Zane shushes me. “Trust me, you’re not going to want to miss this.”
“Trust me, I probably do.”
But a moment later, Mark stumbles out of the restaurant, his gait uneven and wobbly. It’s not right, and chills slide up my spine. Mark was an alcoholic. Probably still is. But the diner doesn’t serve drinks. He’d been pretty steady when he walked in, and even if he was sipping on some little flask in his jacket or something, there is no way he got sloshed that fast. There’s something wrong, and it stinks a lot like the guy sitting next to me.
I turn to him, watching his eyes squint as they track Mark across the parking lot. He’s so focused, it’s as if I’m not even there. “Tell me. Exactly what did you do?”
“Hold on,” he says, putting up his hand.
I swipe it away. “No, I’m sick of your riddles. Tell me what’s going on and stop acting like such a jack—”
“Bingo.” Zane leans closer to the dashboard, a smirk erupting across his face. “Gotcha.”
Outside the front dash, Mark lies collapsed in the parking lot. Zane pulls for the passenger door handle. “I’m not keeping any big secrets.” He climbs out and winks at me. “I just spiced up his meal a little bit, that’s all.” He slams the door shut and I hurry to follow after him.
With my long strides, I easily catch up to him. He might be the more arrogant one, but I’m definitely the taller one. When we reach Mark, Zane leans down and grabs Mark’s hand. He slides the ring off his finger and hands it to me. “Told you I’d get you that ring.”
Remember the Knight Page 6