And that’s when it dawns on me. The shivers on my skin, this connection I’m feeling. It’s like finding something precious that you lost. Excitement, comfort, the missing puzzle piece that fell on the floor that finally completes the puzzle. He may not be the one but I’m pretty sure we were meant to be friends.
Lucas glances over at me. “You’re suddenly quiet. Are you okay?”
“Yeah.” I smile. “Just felt funny there for a second. I’m sorry. I haven’t been out on a date with anybody else in five years.”
“Yeah, I get it. So, why did you break up with your boyfriend?” he asks, then just as quickly says, “You don’t have to tell me. It’s none of my business.”
“Uh.” I look out the window. How do I explain it without sounding like the biggest jerk in the world? “We were together for a long time, and then he proposed. And when he was there on his knee, holding out the most beautiful diamond in the most beautiful place after a beautiful night, I just…I just… I couldn’t say yes. Something inside of me screamed he isn’t the one. So.” I frown. “I said no. Horrible isn’t it? He was, no, he is one of the nicest guys I’ve ever met, but I just... It just didn’t feel right saying yes. I probably sound stupid.”
“Not at all,” Lucas says. And if he’s sensing my discomfort, he continues, “Matt’s planning to propose over spring break. You don’t think Kat will say no, do you?”
“He asked me for my help with the ring. They make a cute couple. They’ll make cute babies, that’s for sure. And trust me, Kat will say yes,” I reassure him.
“Well that’s good,” Lucas releases a breath. And once again, the car is silent. I rack my brain trying to think of something not awkward or weird to say. I shift in my seat, staring out the window, the urge to say something—anything—growing stronger. “Lucas, I know I barely know you and this may sound stupid—I swear I’m not trying to majorly come on to you or anything, but do you think there’s such a thing as ‘the one’?” Okay, I wasn’t quite going for that.
“I don’t know,” he says. “Once I did. There’s a girl, back in Star Harbor….” He pulls into a parking space and shuts off the car, he turns to me and it’s in his eyes. He’s madly in love with whoever this girl is. And she broke his heart. “Let’s go eat,” he says.
He opens the door for me, which reminds me of Hunter and his proposal, and guilt pools in my stomach. What is with all the chivalrous guys lately? Inside, we’re led by a short-haired hostess with bright red lipstick to a booth in the back, where we sit across from each other, perusing the menu and discussing the options.
“So, Kat was right,” he says when I point out the hamburger and sweet potato fries. “You didn’t have to order a salad last night. Living on lettuce doesn’t impress me.”
“Who said I was trying to impress you?” I wink my eyes at him. He lifts an eyebrow, lifting the corner of his mouth.
“So, seriously” he lays his hand on the table and taps his fingers, after a different waitress takes our orders. “Why UMD?”
“Um? Didn’t you already ask that?” I try to recall our conversation from the previous night, but the cold coming off the lake must’ve frozen my brain or something.
“No, I asked about the weather difference between Phoenix and Duluth, not why you chose to go here.” He leans back in his seat, patiently waiting for my answer.
“Hmmm. Bring out the tough questions.” I grin. “Okay then, this is going to sound silly, but I once painted a picture of a beach on a lake. I’d always have these dreams about it. And then someone remarked the lake looked a lot like Lake Superior. And when I saw the brochure for UMD, I just had to come here. Stupid, I know, but it just felt right. God, I must sound like some crazy lunatic to you.”
“Maybe a little,” he says. “But I kind of like lunatics. Believe me, they certainly make life more interesting. And I’m part lunatic myself, you know?”
“Oh, really?” I tilt my head.
“Yeah, you see, I lost my older brother, Jake, in a hunting accident.”
“Oh no, I’m so sorry.” I reach across the table, putting my hand across his. He looks down at our hands touching and I slowly pull away. The waitress returns setting our plates of food in front of us.
“It’s okay. Really. I’m not telling you that to make you feel sorry for me. But you are not crazy. I had a lot of crazy dreams after he died. Like I would see him places... So, you’re not alone.”
“Thanks.” I smile.
“Dreams are weird. I have this friend who has nightmares all the time. Since as long as I can remember. Adam— “
Lightning strikes through me sending my heart fluttering and my stomach flipping like never before. What did he say? What was it? The name—the name—Adam?
I want him to finish. Who is Adam? But the waitress is standing at our table, a young girl with her hair pulled into a high ponytail and her teeth whiter than a brand-new snowfall. She’s talking, asking something, but her lips move slowly, and her voice is gibberish
Lucas mumbles a response to her and they both look at me, but I’m popping inside. I shake my head, hoping it gets her to go. Hoping to get back to our conversation. Hoping Lucas will finish that last sentence of his.
Adam...what?
And that name. Adam? Why is it bothering me so much? Why is it making my skin tingle and my head swim? It’s not like I’ve never heard the name Adam, before, but from Lucas’ lips. It’s familiar and beautiful and I want to know why. Because my heart is aching like it’s never ached. And my eyes are wet and burning and the room is swimming.
What? Why?
Why are my eyes wet?
Why is the room spinning? Why are my sweet potato fries dangling from the ceiling and my Dr. Pepper floating in the air?
And again, why am I crying?
“Are you okay?” Lucas’ eyes are wide with concern. “You don’t look so good.”
“Yeah.” I wipe the corner of my eye. I think I’m okay. “I’m sorry. Maybe this dating thing—maybe it’s just too soon.”
“Don’t worry,” he says. “It’s not like I’m in a rush for anything serious. Just relax. Let’s have some fun. It doesn’t have to be a date. We’re just two friends hanging out, eating food. Okay? We all need friends. Right? Especially lunatic friends who dream crazy dreams?”
I nod, still wiping the tears from my face. He makes faces, pulling his lips out and pressing his nose up and sticking his tongue out until I erupt in giggles. “Okay, okay. Lunatic friends. Got it. So, since I so rudely interrupted our conversation, what were you saying?”
“Saying?”
“Before?” About the friend of yours with the nightmares. About Adam? But I can’t bring myself to remind him. “Before my meltdown?” Oh, please remember. Please.
“Oh.” He waves his hand. “I don’t remember.” A lump of disappointment grows in my throat and I swallow it, smiling shakily at him.
After dinner, he walks me up the steep steps to the house my apartment is in. The curtain flutters in the front window and I wonder if it’s Kat. I’m sure she’s dying to know how my date with Lucas went.
On the top step, Lucas pauses and then reaches for my hand. He wraps his fingers through mine, trembling. “I know we said we would take it slow,” he says. “But there’s something, I just can’t explain.”
“No,” I say. “I get it. I really do. I really really do. It’s like there’s this connect—”
Lucas’ lips press into mine. They’re soft and searching, but they’re off. Like a note missing in a melody or a word missing in a sentence. It just doesn’t feel right.
I pull back, looking up at him. I press my fingers to my lips, praying he doesn’t see it in my eyes. He’s so nice. So kind. I’ve broken one heart this month—I’m really not up for another.
He smiles weakly. “Maybe it’s too soon,” he says. “For the both of us.” And it flashes across his face—this feels wrong. For him too.
“Maybe in another time or place,” I say.
>
“Yeah,” he says, and I unwrap my hands from his, taking the final step to my front door.
“Wait,” he calls his hand circling mine to stop me. I swing around, my eyes level with him, now that he’s a step below me. “However, we’re going to be friends, right? I think this could be an awesome friendship.”
“Definitely.” And I mean it. Not like one says after a bad date or to an ex, but like this is the beginning of a real friendship. Like we were meant to be friends.
He’s halfway down the steps, when I call his name. “Do you want to hang out later?”
“Sure,” he says. “That would be fun.”
Chapter Fifteen
Adam
“So, exactly how do we go about finding a ring in Roswell?” I ask Zane. “Since you have all the answers.” We’re still sitting in the truck outside the diner, while Zane presses his finger to his chin. Thankfully, he left the sugar packets inside, but I’m getting tired of his constant dreamy expression while we sit in silence. “Look, I’m getting really tired of—"
“Good question,” he interrupts. “Very good question.” He pauses, frowning. He leans forward and presses his hands against the dash and then sinks back into the seat. He opens his mouth. “I got it—wait no.”
“Seriously” He’s chomping on my last nerve. “How am I related to you again?”
“Very funny, little bro, but that’s getting old. I think the rings are where I last saw them. So, I’m trying to remember…” He drums his fingers on the dash.
“Like where you last saw him? Or where they last were? Because there’s a big difference between the two. Besides that, does not make sense since it was Arch’s and not Dad’s ring you pulled off Mark.”
He grunts.
“Well, I guess we should go to the parking lot at the bl—” The image of Sage bleeding on the cement flashes through me. No, I do not want to go back there. Wait, maybe we don’t have to—"They’re on my beach.” I blurt out. “The beach. We don’t have to go to Roswell after all. That’s the last place—that’s where…” That’s where Sage died.
Zane sighs. “Have you seen any rings on your beach lately? For someone who’s been looking for a year, you’d think you would have found them by now.”
I glare at him and cross my arms. “So, what’s your answer to this? Since you don’t seem to want my help.” The steam from our words clouds the truck windows and I wipe the front windshield just enough to see the diner. It’s probably not a good idea to be idling in the same parking lot where a guy died the previous night.
“Let me think…” He presses a forehead to his head. “I’m not entirely sure it’s where the rings were last seen—but maybe where I last saw their owner.” He drums his fingers on the dashboard again.
I pull his hand from the dashboard to stop the annoying noise and he glares at me. “You’re giving me a headache.”
“You’ve got a headache? You want to talk major headache? The Arch’s ring versus Laris’ ring switcheroo is causing my brain to explode. It would work if the ring had been Laris’, but the last place I saw Arch was at Laris’ house—the one where we lived in Las Vegas.”
“You mean you lived in Las Vegas?”
“No, we lived in Las Vegas.” His eyes grow distant. “We both did. And then I went to Benji’s and you went to California. That’s how long it’s been since I’ve seen the guy.” I wonder if it’s one of those memories that was taken from me. I wonder even more what Zane knows and isn’t telling me. “That’s all ancient history though. We need to find the rings.”
“Well, if you think it’s the last place you saw their owner, why don’t we go to one of those places and see if there is a ring? Wouldn’t that answer the question? We could start with Benji. Where’s the last pl—”
“No.” Zane holds up a stern finger, his voice hard. “We’re not starting with Benji’s.”
“Okay, we don’t have to start there. But let’s go somewhere before we freeze to death.” I clear more condensation from the windshield with my hand.
“You and that messed up heart of yours is already frozen to death.” He side eyes me. “Otherwise you would’ve gone and gotten that girl by now.”
“I already told you—”
“Yeah, whatever.” He scrambles in his pocket to pull out the ring. “You’re just afraid. Admit it. This stupid crap about staying out of her life to protect her is all in your head. You’re angry at Laris for making you give her up the first time. You’re angry at whatever the hell happened to you down in Roswell, and you’re angry at me for saving Sage and saving you.”
“Well, at least I have a reason for staying away. You’re not angry, you’re just afraid she’ll break your heart.” The words fly out faster than I can stop them and when I see the agony blazing in Zane’s eyes, I want to swallow them back in. “I—I—I’m not angry. It’s guilt."
“Guilt, anger. It’s all the same. But I’m not going to argue with you.” Zane slides the ring onto his finger. “Let’s just get out of here.”
“And the truck?” Light snowflakes gently fall layering the empty parking lot.
“We’ll get it later.” He grabs my arm before I can argue, pulling me into the swirling vortex that leaves us standing on the side of road overlooking a vast stretch of desert. At least I think it’s a desert. It’s still too dark to see anything, but the shadows of shrubbery and spiny cacti loom in the moonlight.
“Where the hell are we?” I ask.
“This, little brother, is where Sage’s sweet little friend tried to kill us all.” He grins as if I should get the joke.
“What? Jayme?” I only had mere minutes to meet Sage’s roommate Jayme, and the majority of that time was taken up dodging bullets. Sage told me about Jayme in our dreams—I wonder if they are still roommates. Or if that changed too? I’d only seen Sage once in Arizona over the past two years. Just enough to know she’s happy—not enough to make me happy. I can’t be a stalker though, following her around living on the periphery of her life.
“Yeah, the redhead. She tried to drive us all into the ditch over there.” Zane’s lips turn into a smile as he gazes at the desert. Wow, maybe he does have a heart. He lets out his breath and turns to me. “Well, this is the last place I saw Zarek, so let’s see if this hypothesis is correct. Coming little bro?”
“Fine.” I dart across the road, following Zane as he heads to the ditch. He crouches, scanning the ground beneath him. His lips are drawn, and his eyes focused intensely on the dark ground beneath him.
“What exactly should I be—? “
“Bingo.” He rises and takes a handful of steps further into the ditch. A few feet down, he bends down and picks something up. He holds it up, the shiny metal gleaming in the moonlight. “Zarek’s ring.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes. Do you think I’m an idiot? The rings all look the same.”
“I meant are you sure it’s Zarek's?” I reply. “The last one was supposed to be our dad’s, remember?”
“We won’t know until we use the ring. What do you say little bro, do you want to give it a try? Stare down memory lane. It’s a real trip.” He holds it out to me. I stare at the ring. Do I? What if there’s something about Sage? What if—I need to stop this. I need to be brave and—
“Better yet, I’ll do it.” Zane curls the ring into his hand. “Since I used the first one, I should probably do all of them—it’s the only way we’re going to piece it all together, okay?”
“Whatever you want.” I shrug with relief. “I’m not going to argue that one. But since I don’t know how long you’re going to be gone, maybe you should give me Arch’s ring so I can go home. I really don’t want to spend the next twenty-four hours in the desert.”
“How about I take you there myself? That way I’ll know where to pick you up.” He smiles, that stupid arrogant smile of his.
“Fine, whatever.”
“Great. Maybe you can go hang with your little girlfriend, while I’m gon
e.” He starts making kissing noises. And he’s the older brother?
“Zoey’s not my—” He grabs my shoulder and the world starts spinning again. When it stops, we are definitely not at home.
“Have fun, little bro,” Zane says before disappearing. I turn around in a circle until I see the sign shining under the light reading University of Minnesota Duluth.
I’m going to kill him.
Chapter Sixteen
Sage
Later that evening, Lucas shows up at our door. When Kat sees him through the window, she squeals nearly knocking over Bella as she rushes to open it. “Ohmigosh, Sage. He must really like you. I knew this would work. I just knew it.”
“He’s just a friend,” I remind her. “We’re going to hang out, okay?”
She winks one eye. “Okaayyy,” she draws out the word as Lucas crosses the threshold. He looks from me to her back to me again. I shrug and shake my head. “Friends,” Kat mouths as Lucas steps between us. She closes the door, following Lucas past the small couch pushed against the wall which we call our living room straight into the even smaller space that makes up our kitchen. Kat’s still making funny faces at me behind Lucas, and I shake my head at her.
“What is up with you two?” Lucas spins around.
Kat’s grins at him and holds out her hands, “Who me? I’m just gonna sneak by you two. I have to get ready for my date with Matt.” She slips by us in the kitchen, and heads up the stairway, stopping to give one last wink. Oh, that girl.
“She doesn’t believe guys and girls can be just friends,” I tell Lucas. “I think she still thinks we’re destined for marriage. Or making babies and that sort of stuff.”
He chuckles. “God, I hope not.” He stops abruptly, his eyes widening, his hand rushing to cover his mouth. “Oh geez, I’m sorry. It’s not that you’re not pretty and will make ugly babies or something. It’s just—”
“Like having babies with your sister?”
“Yeah, if I had a sister. I’m sort of an only child now.” He pauses, smiling slightly—it doesn’t quite reach his eyes and I wonder if he’s thinking of his brother.
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