“Because you and I both know why. We know who’s behind this place and why you came here. You saw it in the ring, didn’t you?”
I step closer, a rush of anger breathing through me. “Dad didn’t think I was strong enough to change time, so he had me kidnapped that night. He had me kidnapped and brought here so they could push me to be stronger. Strong enough to go back and change time before I died, but weak enough to follow their orders.” I glance back at Zane. “Dad made a few mistakes when he created me, so he was trying to fix them, wasn’t he?”
Zane’s painful expression is the only answer I need. I turn from him to the building.
I stare at, imagining the walls and darkness within. The power of the Nexus surges and fades through my veins. It’s like electricity, a combination of pain and excitement.
“Do it,” Zane whispers into my ear. “It’s empty anyway. It’s not like you’ll be killing anything except what Laris did to you in there. Let it explode.”
I stare at the building, the walls unraveling, exposing the truth about what lies inside. The horrors slam into me, and Zane’s voice is a mantra in my ear.
Let it explode. Let it explode.
Destroy the memories. Let go. Go home. The power of the Nexus grows stronger, surging through my arms and into my core, radiating through me, clinging to my anger until the ground shakes beneath me.
Stare at the building. Not blinking. Not breathing.
The air is still and then a growing roar overcomes the air, imploding the block and the memories with it.
Chapter Thirty
Sage
I shiver on the first step leading up to Stella’s and not from the cold. We had followed the path past a wide wooden porch with a waving grizzly bear to a set of stairs running up the back of the building. “Stella lives upstairs,” Lucas explains to me. “The downstairs is her office and sort of like a clubhouse for the guests. Since it’s off season, she’ll be home.” I want to say I know that, but he’ll think it’s ludicrous.
But it’s not. I know this place like the back of my hand. It’s not just from website photos either. I know this place. The creak on the second step, the sound of the wind blowing through the deck slats, the way the cold fogs up the front door.
Lucas knocks three times and while we wait, I glance at the beach. The sun glints off the water, sparkling like the diamonds in the ring Hunter had offered me.
Why am I thinking of that? And now?
I breathe deeply, waiting for the familiar ache of guilt and regret that lodges in my stomach every time I remember Hunter lately, but there is no ache. No pang. No should I have said yes. Just a deep, steady faith that saying yes to Hunter was not the right one. I don’t belong to him and I never did. I belong to this beach. This Lake. This moment.
Lucas knocks again and the blinds pull back revealing a middle-aged woman squinting in the sunlight. Her smile broadens when she sees Lucas and she slides the door open, pulling him into her arms.
“Lucas,” she says. “It’s so good to see you. I’m so happy you stopped by. Adam is going to be so sorry to have missed you.” She pulls back her eyes scanning up and down. “I swear you look more and more grown up every time you get back.”
“Hi Stella, it’s good to see you too. This is my girlfriend, Sage.” He motions to me.
Stella pulls him into the house and gestures for me to follow. “Come, come,” she says. “It’s freezing out there.”
“I heard Adam left town. Since when did he get a brother?” I follow Lucas through what looks like a living room to a kitchen, taking a seat on one of several barstools lining a large island.
Stella pads into the kitchen and opens the fridge, “I guess when his dad died, supposedly they started talking. I don’t know.” Her voice is muffled as she sifts through the fridge’s contents. “I do not like the guy, and I’m not happy he’s hanging around Adam. I didn’t have the slightest clue he was here hanging around again until Zoey told me. Adam never tells me anything anymore.” She pulls out a pitcher. “I have water if you’d like some. Or tea. And there’s sodas downstairs.”
“Water’s good,” Lucas replies and looks to me.
“Yeah.” I nod. “Water, please.”
“It’s been two years.” Stella continues as she opens a cupboard above the sink to pull out two glasses. “Two years. You’d think he’d be slightly better. I’ve suggested a counselor or something, but he’s just—I don’t know. It breaks my heart.” She fills the glasses with ice and sets them in front of us. “He’s going to be sorry he missed you. I know how good you are for him. How long are you in town for?”
“Just until Sunday. Then it’s back to the books.”
Stella pats his arms. “You’ve always been a smart one.” She finally glances at me. “I’m being rude. So, Lucas, tell me about Sage. How did you meet?”
Lucas glances at me. “Through mutual friends.”
“Uh yeah,” I repeat. “Our friends. Blind date. Nothing too exciting.”
“Oh, come on.” Stella leans across the island. “You two make a cute couple.” I steal an awkward glance at Lucas. This acting in front of her feels so wrong. It’s even worse than lying to Lucas’ parents or Brianna. Stella feels like… motherish.
“You know, Sage’s little sister is named Stella,” Lucas says. I fight the urge to kick him or elbow him or something to him to keep his mouth shut. Why is he telling her that?
“Really?” Stella leans into the island again. “I never hear anyone with my name.”
“My parents picked it out.” I chew my lip. Why did I just say that? Of course, they picked it out—well I picked it out. Why do I not want her to know this? It’s not like there is anything wrong with my younger sister sharing her name, is there?
“Well, I want to hear all about Minnesota,” Stella says, pulling up one of the barstools. “I didn’t see you over Christmas break, so we have to catch up now.”
“Well actually, I wanted to show Sage the beach. She’s a crazy nut over Lake Superior and I was telling her your beach is the best beach on the lake.” Lucas says. Stella frowns, her eyes reflecting disappointment. I swallow, imagining her excitement at seeing Lucas just to learn we’re here for the beach.
“Why don’t I go down to the beach myself?” I suggest. “You guys can catch up. I mean, it’s a beach. I don’t think I need a tour guide for a beach.”
“Are you sure?” Lucas hesitates. “I don’t want to ditch you.”
“You should both go.” Stella waves. “You two should be having fun. It’s cold and icy—much prettier in the summer. But it’s quiet now. Please, go. Have fun. Somebody around here needs to have fun because Lord knows Adam sure isn’t.”
“No, no.” I stand up. “I insist on going by myself. I like the quiet anyway and I’ve met so many people today. I get Lucas to myself all the time.” I pat his arm and look into his face. “You deserve some time with him.”
“It’s awfully cold, Sage,” Stella says, the corners of her eyes wrinkling with concern.
“I have a coat. And mittens. I’m from Arizona, I come prepared.”
“Well, the water—” Lucas begins.
“I’m not going to go in it. I swear. I promise. I’m not two.”
“Okay, okay.” Lucas lifts up his hands. I grab them and giggle. He smiles at me, and before I can break free, he lowers his head and kisses me.
It’s not a deep kiss. More like a quick peck on the lips. But it still feels wrong, so unbelievably wrong. When he pulls away, I can tell he feels it too. His eyes are soft and apologetic. I squeeze his hand and he squeezes back.
“You two are cute,” Stella says, thankfully not catching on to any of the awkwardness.
“I’m sorry. It’s rude to—” I say without taking my eyes off Lucas. I’m afraid she’ll see the truth if I do.
“No.” she waves her hand. “It’s nice to see some young love around here. I wish Adam would show a drop of interest in Zoey. She’s crazy about him and such a
sweet girl, but he could care less. If only that boy would be happy.”
My heart speeds up and I lick the bottom of my lip. I toss a quick smile at Stella and promise Lucas I’ll be back. Then I tuck my hands into my pockets, and rush for the door. I need to get away before anyone sees how much a boy, I’ve never met is affecting me.
The steps down the stairs to the beach feel different. Significant, somehow. Like I’m about to find the answers I’ve been searching for my entire life. That’s crazy though. Isn’t it? This beach. These dreams. This place. Lucas.
Adam.
He’s a stranger I keep trying to tell myself. A stranger. How can I have such strong feelings for a stranger? But these feelings…they’re so strong. So real. My first crush in sixth grade on Dillon Starsky, my first kiss with James Ackerman, my first date with Hunter. They were nothing compared to the way I feel now. The way this beach, his name…the way it’s all making me feel.
I fight the desire to rush, instead taking slow and careful steps through the patches of snow and sand. Chunks of ice dance along the shoreline like tiny little icebergs. For a moment, everything flashes, and the ice is gone, the lake is a deep blue, and the sun is warm. He’s laughing, calling me. I turn to the sound of his voice and the beach fades into the gray winter day.
I take a step in that direction followed by another. I smell bonfires. I hear laughter. I see the stars. And his voice, calling. The lake roars beside me and the wind blows my hair across my face. My heart rate increases and my pace quickens and the calls grows louder and louder.
The smells of the lake swirl around me, the sand softens beneath my feet, and the voice—it calls and calls and calls. They lead me to the end of the beach, past the rows of cabins, to a pile of rocks. Whatever I’m meant to see, whatever I’m meant to learn, it’s beyond those rocks. When I reach them, I climb them like I’ve climbed them before. I pull off my mittens to grip the cold, shiny stone, pulling one leg over and the other. And there it is. The beach. Just like I envisioned. Just like I had seen in every dream. Surrounded by the rocks and the woods, it’s a secluded paradise.
I spin around, my mind spinning with me. I hear his voice—the boy with the blue eyes. I hear him. Adam. He’s calling my name. He’s smiling. He’s laughing.
We’ve been here, him and I.
It’s more than just a dream.
It’s a…it’s a memory.
Chapter Thirty-One
Adam
The light brings us home. Star Harbor, home. Not the mess of places Zane has been dragging me to. I’m sweaty and tired, every muscle in body screaming with pain and I’m burning up. It’s the Nexus that does this. It poisons our blood whenever we access its power. I know I need blood—blood only my father can give me. Pure Perseidian blood. But considering he wants me dead, I doubt he’ll be coming to my rescue.
“My mom probably has some. Laris gave her some after I accidentally used the Nexus to travel here several years ago and Sage found me on the lake,” I mumble, not sure if my words are coherent or not. Zane is struggling to help me stand, I’m hanging from his shoulder on the driveway outside my house. The late afternoon sun casts long shadows of the trees as it falls in the sky.
“Hey now,” Zane says. “Just relax. You will be fine. You blew up a building, not the entire country. You’re just slightly drained. Nothing that a glass of water and some ibuprofen can’t fix. That’s another one of Laris’ lies. We don’t need his blood to survive the Nexus.”
“So, where is he? If he’s alive.” I slur the words, and Zane adjusts his grip to keep me from toppling over. Everything swims in front of me. I do not feel good.
“Let’s get you better first. Okay, little bro. Then we can go find him. Or rather he’s going to come to us. But I need you ready for him. So, you need food. And water. Can you help me out a little?”
The fuzziness in my brain starts to clear and I take a tentative step forward followed by another followed by—
I lurch forward, stopped only by Zane’s arms. “Sheesh, Adam. You’re getting to be high maintenance.”
I ignore him and take a deep breath, my head clearing even more. He releases his grip on me and I take several steady steps forward. I glance at the trees and shiver. Somebody’s here. Watching us. Somebody is here—is it him? Is it my dad—Laris? Is this what Zane meant? I turn to him, “Zane, I—”
“I told you, go eat. Drink. Be merry. Whatever it takes, okay?”
“Where are you going?” I narrow my eyes at him. “No more secrets please.” He’s not blinking and it’s annoying the crap out of me. But I kind of don’t care—I’m too tired. Too drained. Too sick of the game. “Fine,” I say. “But don’t be long.”
“Trust me,” he says. And then before I can blink again, he’s gone.
My mom is inside when I finally brave going inside. I’m still shaky as I climb the stairs, but at least I’m not slurring my words or stumbling over things. Which would not be good. I don’t want her to think I’m drunk. She leaps from the kitchen stool when sees me, throwing her arms around me. She’s still in her pink robe, her eyes surrounded by dark circles. She’s been worrying about me. The guilt I feel is like drinking acid. She doesn’t deserve me for a son. I’ve put her through so much, not just over the past few days, but over the past few years. She’s never given me a reason to question her love for me—not even now as I question my dad’s. Whatever the truth is—whatever his truth is, I know without a doubt she was never part of it. Her tears seep into my shirt as she holds me tighter, squeezing me to her. “I’m sorry, Mom.” I whisper. “That I’ve been such a crappy son.”
She pulls back to look at me, taking my face into her hands. “Adam, are you okay? You feel kind of warm.” Her sad eyes study mine trying to understand where I’ve been and why, but I’m not sure what to tell her. If everything I saw is true, it will break her heart. She thought she was doing something good, helping my father, by creating me, by letting me go. I can’t hurt her.
“I’m fine,” I say. “Can’t you see that?”
She smiles sadly. “I wish I could, Adam. I wish I could see that. But all I see is pain and walls. I’ve known you too long to not see that.”
I sink into the stool next to her, place my elbows on the counter, and drop my head into my hands. Rubbing my fingers on my temples, I take a deep breath. It expands my lungs…slow, full. And when I finally release, I try to send all the emotions with it. Pain. Annoyance. Grief. Loss. Guilt. My dad. My mom. Zane. Sage.
But as quick as it goes, it all too quickly returns. The familiar never-ending ache again. Even when I’m not thinking about her, I’m always thinking of her. Dammit Dad. Where are you?
My mom’s hand gently rubs my shoulder and my eyes meet hers. Those deep blue eyes full of warmth and love. She’s loved me in this lifetime and the last. She’s been here for me like the lighthouse in my storm. She knows me. Maybe I could tell her? Maybe I should tell her? About my dad, about the rings, about Sage—
Oh, hell. I give up. These damn emotions stick better than Zoey and her crush.
“Do you want something to eat?” Mom stands up from the stool. “I can make you a sandwich or something…” She pulls her hair back from her face.
“No,” I say. “Really, Mom. I’m fine. Please don’t trouble yourself.”
“No, please let me,” she insists. “You need to eat. And it will make me feel better to make you something to eat. Please, do it for me.”
I smile wanly. “Okay, I guess.” I’m not really hungry, but if it makes her happy. As she walks to the counter, pulling lunch meat and mustard from the fridge and bread from the cupboard, I contemplate telling her again. She would understand, wouldn’t she? She knows aliens are real so it’s not far-fetched that time travel could really happen and that it could change everything. And I desperately need somebody to tell who’s not using me for anything. Not to buy food or find rings or chase down Laris or created me to die.
I swallow at the last thought, my mou
th feeling dry. I slowly rise from the stool and my mom looks over from where she’s lathering the bread in mustard. “Do you need anything?”
“Just a glass of water,” I say as I walk around the counter and pull a tall glass tumbler from the cupboard. “I’ve got this one.”
I bump into her on the way to the freezer to get ice and smile at her. “It’s nice to see your smile.” She chatters as I fill the cup with ice. “I miss your smiles.” She slaps the top layer of bread on the sandwich and follows me back to the counter.
“You really should spend more time with Zoey. She’s having a bit of an effect, I think. What did she think about you disappearing for a few days?” She sets the place in front of me.
“She’s fine, “I take a sip of water to keep from having to say more. And another sip. God, I am thirsty. All this traveling has taken its toll.
“That’s good,” my mom says. “I like that girl…and I almost forgot, you’ll never guess who I saw this afternoon.” I take one last gulp, draining the tumbler. She takes a seat at the counter next to me.
“Who?” I ask getting up to refill my now empty water glass. I have a bad feeling that person is Zoey. I can only imagine what she has been saying about how much I’ve been in the diner lately, and especially about Zane. So much for keeping him a secret. I turn on the faucet, bracing myself for the fallout.
“Lucas. He’s in town for spring break.” I finish filling the tumbler and turn to her, taking a sip. I hadn’t expected that one. “Yeah, it was so good to see him. He stopped by with his new girlfriend. She was so sweet. I—what was her name again?” She presses a finger to her chin. “Sage, yeah that’s it. Her name is Sage.”
I drop the tumbler, sending shards of glass to every corner of the kitchen floor.
Chapter Thirty-Two
Sage
I remember the first time Hunter brought me home to meet his parents. I had been a nervous wreck. His mom kept asking questions. Would you like iced tea to drink? No. Do you like mashed potatoes? No. Do you want another serving of vegetables? No. Would you like a slice of pecan pie? No, definitely no. But I answered every question with a ‘yes’, afraid to be impolite or even worse—for them to not like me. His mom studied me for a moment, while I fidgeted with my hands under her scrutinizing gaze but said nothing about it. Months and even years, when I became more comfortable with Hunter and his family, she learned that I did not like iced tea, or mashed potatoes, or pecan pie, but she never brought up that first meal.
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