by Hannah West
Noelle's heart swelled in joy. "That's good news, right?"
Sara nodded. "Great news, rather. She's still fairly sick, but nothing the regular floor can't help with. Plus she'll start getting physical therapy to regain her strength."
"Any idea where she's going to go home to?" Noelle tried to sound non committal as she pulled down plates and silverware, grabbing wine goblets to go with their dinner. Sara wouldn't be driving for a while, after all. It was okay if she had a glass of wine. Wasn't it?
"None," Sara said ruefully. "Aunt can't take her for sure. Next best chance is finding a foster family willing to take her in with her background." Sara shook her head, her face sad. "Those aren't great odds. Not here, anyway."
"Are there a lot of kids who need homes and don't get them?" Noelle asked, trying to sound innocent. Like she wasn't contemplating everything that had been said to her. Maybe she could be what Julia needed. Maybe.
"Depends," Sara admitted. "Like anything there's really a variety. Some parents are good, some are bad. Adoptive parents aren't really different than biological parents in that respect."
"Except adoptive parents choose to adopt and biological parents don't always choose whether or not to get pregnant," Noelle pointed out, dishing up dinner onto two plates. There would be leftovers, something she appreciated. Saved having to pack lunch for the next few days.
Sara conceded the point with a nod. "There's a difference in motivation, yes, which can impact their ability to parent." She studied Noelle for a few moments, leaning against the counter and watching her dish up the food.
Noelle grabbed the wine she had planned to go with dinner, popping it and letting it sit for a few moments. She didn't have a proper decanter, but hopefully this would do something to mitigate the taste of freshly-opened wine. Or something. Wine wasn't really her thing, in all honesty, but she had been assured by the alcohol store clerk that she had bought the wine from that red wine went well with chicken. "Dinner's almost ready."
"It looks delicious," Sara said, appreciative. Noelle started to protest when Sara picked up the plates. "I can carry them over," she assured Noelle. "You grab the wine and we can meet in the middle?"
She was smiling and it made Noelle's stomach do flips. The way her eyes sparkled, the way her lips curved, how her sleek black bob perfectly framed her face - it made Noelle feel warm in a way she had not heard of out of proper relationships. And theirs wasn't proper, that much was for sure. The lingering guilt distracted Noelle enough that she got herself under control, picking up the wine and goblets and bringing them to the table, setting one in front of Sara and one in front of herself. "The wine person told me this would be rather fine with dinner." Noelle smiled wryly. "Better be, with what I paid for it."
Sara picked up the bottle, examining it. "It's a good vintage," she agreed, setting it down so Noelle could pour. "You don't drink wine normally?"
Noelle shook her head. "Have a glass of the cheap stuff at home - leftover habit from my college days." She grinned ruefully. "Never really learned about how to find the good stuff."
"This is a good step in the right direction." Sara winked. Noelle met her eyes, shy, and then looked away, focusing on pouring wine into the goblets. It was a heavy bottle, heavier than Noelle had anticipated, but she managed. She surveyed the dinner table. Plates of food, utensils were there, wine. Was there anything else?
"Time to eat?" Sara asked, tilting her head rougishly to the side.
"Yes." They ate quietly with minimal small talk. Sara praised the food and Noelle demurred - it wasn't much, not really. She wasn't that great of a cook, but her mother had taught her a few recipes. She couldn't do anything fancy, but she could keep herself fed. It had been useful in college, being able to exchange favors for meals for a week.
"Here, let me help." Sara stood once they finished eating, carrying the dishes over to the sink. "You cooked, I'll clean."
Noelle darted over to where Sara was standing. Was that normal, after a date? For someone else to clean the dishes? Did they need to be cleaned? "You rinse and I'll put in the dishwasher?" she tried. That was some sort of medium, wasn't it? Would that work?
Sara flashed her a grin. "Sounds great."
They chatted about what movie to watch while they did the dishes, with a stop for Noelle to put away the leftovers. "Would you like some to take home?" Noelle asked, offering Sara one of the four containers she had packed.
"I'm good, thanks," Sara said.
Noelle placed the last few dishes in the dishwasher, standing and half-turning towards Sara as the room fell quiet. What next? There was a movie, yes, but what did that mean? Was it going to be like last time, with them on their separate sides of the couch, or was something more expected?
Inwardly she groaned. She was so overthinking all of this.
"What movie do you want to watch?" Sara asked, leaning against the counter and crossing her arms. She seemed unruffled, as impeccably dressed in black slacks and a white-collared cardigan vest as she had been at the beginning of the evening. Noelle nearly felt underdressed in her dark blue jeans and slim fitting dark top. Neither were wearing shoes; instead, their socks slid noiselessly as they padded around the hardwood floor.
Noelle let Sara pick the movie this time - it was only fair, after all. They settled on the couch, closer than they had before. The dishwasher ran quietly in the background. Noelle wasn't quite sure where to sit. What was too close, what was too far? She shoved aside her nerves and settled on the couch within a foot of Sara, glancing over and smiling before turning her attention to the TV. The remote was within reach and she got the movie started.
They sat there quietly for a few moments before Noelle felt an arm settle on the couch right behind her. Sara didn't say anything, but when Noelle glanced at her, Sara was looking at her. "Is this okay?" she asked, her voice soft.
Noelle nodded and then leaned into the contact, shifting closer to Sara as Sara laid her arm across Noelle's shoulders. It felt nice, being so close to another person. It wasn't really anything Noelle had experienced before. Yes, she had cuddled with close friends once or twice, but that was different, nothing compared to sitting with someone she was interested in. "This is nice," she said quietly, offering Sara a shy smile. She leaned her head towards Sara's, resting it against hers.
The movie passed faster than Noelle had imagined it would, curled up together with Sara. "Too bad I have to work tomorrow," Sara murmured. Noelle chuckled, not wanting to move. She liked it, sitting like this, Sara's arm around her. She felt safe, secure.
"Me too," Noelle said, making a face. Work was the last thing she wanted to do.
Sara stayed for another hour, curled up with Noelle, talking about this and that. Noelle liked to learn about other people, and Sara had a way of talking that kept Noelle close without completely letting go of her.
"This has been fun," Noelle murmured, stifling a yawn as she glanced at the clock.
Sara yawned, pretending to look dignified. "It's late?" she said, smiling at Noelle.
"It is," Noelle agreed. She chuckled. "I sound like my mother when I say that. Night shift screws bedtime up so bad."
Sara laughed. "I haven't had a bedtime in years, but sometimes I wish I still had someone who told me to go to bed early."
Noelle grinned. "Sometimes it's nice having someone else to keep an eye on you when you don't want to." Shyly she draped her arm around Sara's shoulders, emboldened when the other woman leaned into her. Cautiously she hugged Sara closer, wanting to kiss her but not brave enough.
"So I guess this is good night?" Sara asked, her voice half-muffled through a yawn.
"I don't want it to be," Noelle admitted, surprising herself. She hadn't expected to get so attached so quickly. It had been one proper date, and already part of her wanted to hold Sara close and not let her go. Noelle couldn't even imagine what it would have been like if Sara was her proper soulmate. How it would have been different, what the feelings would have been like.
"Think about what you have and not about what you're missing," Sara said, her voice neutral, but her eyes sad.
Noelle winced. "Was it that obvious?"
Sara smiled. "You show what you're thinking." She reached up and poked Noelle in the forehead, gentle. "It shows right there."
"I'm better at work," Noelle protested, letting go of Sara and standing. She spent a moment stretching out her muscles, sore after having sat for so long.
"Can't imagine it's very useful when you're interrogating suspects," Sara said, amused.
"Riley's beating it out of me. Detective Hanson," she clarified when Sara gave her a quizzical look. "My partner."
"Oh." Sara nodded, understanding. "He's the one working Julia's case with you."
Noelle nodded, watching Sara as she stood and smiling at her. This was good night and good bye, then, wasn't it? The end to Noelle's first proper date. She felt warm, content, but at the same time, part of her mind was still alight with what she was missing, what had happened, what it meant and how it would be different. Too many thoughts and not enough time to devote to all of them. "We'll probably drop by tomorrow," Noelle said.
Sara winked. "Bring good coffee?"
Noelle smiled. "Of course." She glanced at Sara. How did two - whatever they were - say good night? After a date? Was there a kiss? Was there something more? Noelle knew what happened in the books, yes, but this was real life and she was fairly certain that it was at least a little bit different.
"Can I kiss you?" Sara asked, glancing at Noelle's lips.
"God. Um. Yes." Noelle fumbled over the words, startled but not surprised at the same time. It was what she had been waiting for, it was what she had wanted, but still, it took her by surprise.
Sara raised her eyebrows. "Should I be offended?" she murmured, stepping closer into Noelle's space.
Noelle didn't pause, didn't think. Instead, she let Sara come closer, let Sara wrap an arm around her shoulder. She didn't know what to do with her hands, with her arms - what did Sara expect? What was natural? Was she overthinking it? Probably. Ignoring her brain, she reached out, her hands settling on Sara's hips, her eyes flickering up to Sara's.
Sara’s lips were warm and soft, her skin warm against Noelle as she pulled her closer. Shivers ran down Noelle’s spine when Sara’s tongue touched her teeth, almost as if she was hit with an electric charge. Apparently that actually did happen in reality.
Still somewhat nervous, she touched Sara’s tongue with hers, rewarded with a chuckle and Sara’s bright smile. “I don’t bite,” Sara said.
“Not done this before,” Noelle admitted, although it bothered her to admit that.
There were more long, lingering kisses. Noelle didn’t want to let go. Sara smiled, leaning in. Their noses brushed, their faces so close together. Noelle couldn't breathe, couldn't think. She was so close. "Hello," Sara murmured, her lips finding Noelle's. Her kisses were soft and sweet, gentle and kind. Noelle felt like she was melting, like there was a fire that was burning her up, all at once. She fought to get her breath.
When the kisses eased up, Noelle's breath was fast and short, like she had run a marathon. "Hello," she said breathlessly, the corner of her lips tilting up into a smile when she saw Sara's eyes crinkle in mirth.
"You sound like a parrot." Sara giggled and kissed her again before pulling her into a hug, resting her head on her shoulder.
"I do not," Noelle said indignantly. Sara giggled again, and then let go of Noelle. She was smiling, a wide one, and it made her whole face light up. Noelle couldn't help but smile back.
“Thanks for dinner,” Sara said, her eyes fixed on Noelle like she was the only person in the world. It made her feel seen, like no matter what she did Sara could see through her and see all of her.
“For the date,” Noelle said, speaking slowly as if she was trying to find her footing.
Surprise flashed across Sara’s face but in a good way. “Thanks for that, too.” She leaned in and kissed Noelle once more, lingering. “I’ll see you tomorrow?”
Noelle stroked her hands down Sara’s arms, lingering, not wanting to let go. “Tomorrow.”
Noelle stood there for several minutes once the door had closed, leaving her alone in her apartment. She had kissed Sara. She had liked kissing Sara. Yet the world had not exploded, nor had the police came in and shouted at her for defying society. Instead, she could hear her neighbor down the hallway, shouting at her television. She could hear the couple on her left side squabbling over the dishes. The teenagers across the way were fighting over the couch.
The world was sane. The world was normal. Nothing had changed.
Maybe falling in love wasn't a bad thing, after all.
Chapter Six
Noelle went into work bright and early the next morning, a smile on her face that she couldn't seem to shake no matter what she tried. And everyone seemed to notice, too.
Riley raised his eyebrows in greeting. "Good night?" he asked.
Noelle hmphed and turned away from him, blushing. "Nothing like that," she chided, hitting him lightly with the folder. "Just a date, was all."
"So you're calling them dates now?" Loryn asked, popping her head into Noelle's cubicle from behind Riley.
"Has this become the time when you interrogate me about my personal life?" Noelle asked the two of them.
"Yes," they chorused - Loryn deadpan, and Riley grinning widely.
Noelle rolled her eyes. "Don't you have work to do?"
"Nothing that can't wait until we find out how your date went," Riley said cheerfully. Loryn inclined her head slightly in agreement. After Noelle stared at them suspiciously for a few moments, the mood shifted. Riley grew more somber. "You look happy," he said, his voice low so that no one around him could hear. "It's been a while since you last came in with a smile on your face, you know."
Noelle looked away from the both of them. She didn't want to agree, but she couldn't really argue, either. The last time she had not worried about her future seemed like years ago. Before she had found Lydia dead, before she had been so convinced that her future was out of her grasp forever. "Thanks," she said finally, smiling. "It went well."
"Good." Loryn nodded at the two of them, proceeding to walk off to do whatever it was that she actually needed to do for her job. Noelle watched her go, temporarily not focusing on Riley.
"We really do care about you, you know," Riley said, his voice kind.
Noelle turned back to him with a faint smile. "I know," she said, glancing down at her desk and what was on it. "Time to get to work, eh?"
"Of course." Riley waved the files he held in his hands in her direction. "Lots to do, not much time."
"That's always the case," she said.
Riley laughed, then patted her on the back. “Time to get busy, young’un.”
“Julia’s going to be released from the hospital in a couple days. In theory, that is,” Sara said as she sat down across from Noelle, her coffee in her hand.
Noelle glanced at Sara, startled. “Does she have a home?”
Sara smiled wryly. “That’s why I said in theory. It’s hard to release a child from the hospital when they don’t have a home to go to.”
“Aren’t there people who take care of that kind of thing?” Noelle asked, trying to keep her voice neutral. Her stomach twisted. Her work schedule had evened off. She wasn’t working six days a week anymore, not since the new hires. She could take Julia.
“You would think, wouldn’t you?” Sara shook her head, sighing. “We have someone from the Department of Services who is in charge of her welfare, but there’s no adoptive parents that are local. Not that are cleared to take a child her age with a traumatic background, anyway.”
“I could take her,” Noelle blurted. She covered her mouth with her hand, as if she could take back what she said in the first place.
Sara raised her eyebrows, speculative but not condescending. “You could.”
Noelle’s cheeks flushed. “It’s a stu
pid idea, I know, but I talked with the aunt and -”
“I think you would be a wonderful parent,” Sara said, cutting her off. Noelle lifted her head and stared at her, startled. “You’re caring, compassionate.” She winked. “And you have access to a wonderful daycare for when you have to work.”
Noelle’s feet bumped Sara’s underneath the table, drawing a smile from both of them. It was nice, the easy comfort they had developed. “I work a lot.”
“Not as much as you used to.” Sara sipped her coffee. “Besides, it’s not me who you have to convince, Noelle. It’s you.”
The truth of her words struck Noelle like a lightning bolt. She was an adult, she had been an adult for years and years. It meant that she made her own decisions, when it came to her own life and a potential family. “Aren’t there adoptive parents even looking?” The last thing she wanted to do was to take away from a family who had been waiting for kids for a long time.
“Maybe. Not many, not locally.” Sara shrugged. “They want smaller kids who aren’t traumatized.”
Noelle conceded that with sip of her coffee. Stendale was big, but she had lived in bigger cities. “I’ll look into it,” she said finally.
Sara smiled, then leaned forward and kissed Noelle. “I missed you,” she said. Noelle felt similarly. It was the first time they had seen each other since their date a few weeks back. Their shifts had been opposite, leaving no time for a repeat of their date.
"Are you free this weekend?" Noelle asked. She missed Sara's answer when her phone rang, and she scrambled to answer, holding up a hand to interrupt Sara. "I've got to take this, sorry." She tucked her work phone to her ear. "Detective Richards speaking."
"We found the father," Riley said into her ear, his voice terse.
"Good or bad?" Noelle asked, glancing around the coffee shop and trying to keep her voice low.
"Julia isn't his only child," Riley said. "We caught him breaking and entering into another home with a knife."
"Oh god." Noelle swallowed. "No one was hurt?"