by Erin Trejo
“I heard. Viking’s pissed brother.”
I nod my head since I already know this. Hell, I’m pissed at myself for what I did. I glance up as I grab my beer and see Doc and Kyza heading for the door. I know I owe her an apology, but I don’t know if I should approach her or not right now. I fucked up yet again, and this time I’m fucking with someone that doesn’t even know me.
“Let it go Monster. She’s isn’t one of us anyway. You’ll probably never see her again,” Mason tells me.
He’s probably right, but the thought of not seeing her again pisses me off too. I’m in a fucking lose/lose situation and I can’t figure out how to fix it. I feel like I’m slowly losing who I am and there is not a damn thing I can do to stop it. I don’t let the guys know because honestly, Viking took me in with open arms when I transferred here. I thought a change of pace and a change in sceneries would help. In this moment I feel like I’m slowly slipping away though.
I grab the shot that’s set in front of me and down it quickly. More shots follow until the room is spinning out of control around me. Then and only then does Kenzie come up to me and wrap her hands around my waist. Kenzie is one of our club girls.
“You look sad. Want me to fix that for you?” Kenzie asks.
I want to tell her to fuck off because no one can fix it, but I don’t. Instead I nod my head and let her lead me back down the hallway and into my room. Kyza’s scent still lingers in the air. I can smell her, it’s like flowers and strawberries. My head is a goddamn mess of emotions that I can’t seem to get straight. Kenzie slides to her knees and unbuckles my jeans, pulling them down my legs along with my boxers. Her soft hand wraps around cock and starts stroking. I close my eyes and just let the sensations run wild through me. I tip my head back as her soft lips wrap around me and suck me between those swollen lips. I groan as I conjure up a vision of Kyza’s face in my mind. I picture her lips wrapped around me instead of Kenzie. I grab the back of Kenzie’s head and start fucking her face roughly. I hear her gag when I finally look down. She has spit and tears streaming down her face. I don’t care. I can’t find it in me to stop, so instead I thrust even harder and smirk at the way she gags on me. If I can control one thing in my life this is it. I can fuck a woman any way I want. I can have that level of control in the bedroom if not anywhere else, so I take it.
“Fuckin’ suck Kenzie,” I roar as my balls tighten.
I can’t look at her. I can’t stand to see the pain in her eyes. This is what she’s here for. I close my eyes and think of Kyza with her perfect blue eyes. I’m imagining them peering up at me through her thick lashes as I fall apart and come down the back of her throat. With each swallow I release a little more. Kenzie sucks me clean before I release her head.
“Get the fuck on that bed and spread your legs,” I growl.
She moves quickly to do as she was told. When I turn to look at her I’m lost. What the hell is wrong with me that not even pussy looks good?
Six
Kyza
“Are you sure you don’t want to come out with me?” Paul asks me again.
I smile at him and shake my head, “No. Thank you though. I told Dan I’d stock the shelves for him tonight, his latest victim quit on him.”
“Wonder why that is?”
I shrug because I honestly don’t know. Dan is the local grocer and sure he can be creepy as hell, but he doesn’t bother me and he pays in cash. That’s enough of an incentive for me to stay.
“I don’t know. He doesn’t say a whole lot of anything to me when I come in,” I add.
“Well, be careful walking these streets alone,” Paul reminds me.
He reminds me of this every time I leave the clinic. It almost makes me smile and it would if it didn’t remind me of my past. My father never told me those things. In fact, he’s the one that would send me out into that hell we call earth. I’ve learned over the last few years that not everyone is like him. They aren’t all out to use you for their own purposes.
As I walk toward the store I get the feeling that I’m being watched. It isn’t the first time I’ve felt it and I’m sure it won’t be the last. I shake it off and tell myself that it’s just my nerves. When I think about it too much I become paranoid. I know what I did will eventually catch up with me, but for now I’m safe.
I walk in and find Dan leaning over the counter. His head comes up when he hears me and his eyes meet mine.
“You’re early.”
“Yeah. The clinic closed a little early tonight. I think Paul was tired.”
I don’t talk to Dan very often. It isn’t that I don’t want to talk to the man, he just doesn’t talk much and I’m okay with that. Less talking means more working.
Dan nods his head and I smile in return as I start walking to the back room. I grab the boxes, stack them up, and then start unloading them. There are days I can’t seem to keep my mind on the present, and that’s why I love having this job. I’m forced to have to focus on what I’m doing and that makes any images I might have, go further into the recesses of my mind. I don’t need that kind of life, I don’t deserve it, or maybe I do. It’s hard to tell where one line ends and another one begins these days.
I continue to work in silence long after Dan has left for the night. He trusts me to close up the store, and for that I’m grateful. I don’t know anyone except for Paul and Dan that trust me that much. They probably shouldn’t. If they knew me, the real me, the person I used to be, they wouldn’t trust me with their cats, but they don’t know, and that’s the way I’m going to keep it. No one needs to know the me I used to be.
I finish and lock up as I had out the back door when I feel someone’s presence behind me. Just as I’m about to turn around a hand wraps around my waist while another wraps around my mouth. I’m jerked back into a hard body as my heart hammers in my chest.
They found me. They know I’m here and now I’m going to die. Those are the thoughts on a loop in my head when warm a breath whooshes over my skin.
“You shouldn’t be out here alone,” a deep voice whispers.
For some stupid reason my body heats just from hearing his voice. He could be a killer or one of my father’s men, but right now he’s just a man holding me closely to him. What is wrong with this fucked up head of mine?
“Who are you?” I ask when the hand slowly moves away from my mouth. I should scream, but feeling his warmth so closely I don’t. It’s almost familiar in a way.
“What does it matter?” he whispers.
Why is he whispering? He presses into me and I can feel his hard on. My insides tremble as thoughts of being raped shift through my mind.
“Please just let me go,” I beg, my voice shaky.
“Not a chance. Now walk,” he demands softly.
I start walking, but he doesn’t take his hand away from me. In just a few short blocks we’re back at the clinic. My stomach trembles. How does he know that I stay here? Who is he?
Too many thoughts are jumbled in my brain when he reaches into my pocket and pulls my key free. He reaches around me, unlocks the door, and ushers me inside. My body reacts. My fight or flight instincts have just kicked in. I start to run, but I’m stopped quickly. His hands wrap around my waist and he yanks me back into him again. A sob leaves my throat as he lifts me and easily carries me into one of the rooms. His fingers slowly glide down my sides and my heart nearly explodes from my chest. He reaches around and his warm fingers slip over my skin. I gasp at the contact when I feel his lips caress my earlobe. It’s been so long since I’ve had a man touch me like this.
“Shh,” he whispers as whimpers start falling from my lips.
What the hell is happening? What am I doing? Am I really this desperate?
His fingers unhook my jeans and shove them to the floor along with my panties. His hands are gone and I’m gripping the edge of the bed afraid to let go. What is happening to me? Why am I letting some unknown man touch me? I want to recoil in fear and move, but for whatever reason I c
an’t. Fear? I don’t know.
I can hear his belt clink and fall to the floor before I hear the sound of a condom being ripped open. In seconds I feel his warm hands sliding down my skin. Bumps pop on my skin everywhere he touches. With his hand on my back he pushes me forward so that my chest is lying on the bed. I can feel him behind me as his hands slide over my flesh. I’m heating up in ways that I haven’t felt in so long.
“Please,” I cry out as tears slide down my cheeks.
What am I asking for? Do I want him to fuck me? Do I want him to take away all the memories? Do I want him to stop? God I don’t even know what I’m begging for.
Before I can think about it anymore he has his cock at my entrance and he’s entered me. Each thrust makes me both whimper and moan. Each plunge sends me closer to the ecstasy that I haven’t had in so long. This is all wrong, but this unknown man is making me feel so right. He leans over me with his warm body pressed against mine as I continue to pant and gasp.
“Feels so good,” he whispers near my ear and bites the lobe.
I’m in a world that isn’t my own. I’ve never felt pleasure like this. He kisses the back of my neck and I can feel the stubble on his jaw as it tickles my skin. He’s right about one thing though, it feels so damn good.
He grabs my hips as he begins to fuck me even harder. I close my eyes, but that’s a mistake. As he pounds into me every memory of the life I once had comes rushing back to me.
Him. He’s standing there watching as his men did whatever they wanted to me. No one was stopping them. I was simply a pawn. Then the blood; there was so much blood. I cry out as I come. My body shatters into a million pieces as each one cuts a little deeper than the last. I stay in the same position bawling and hating myself for everything.
I hate it all. There is no escape.
After what seems like hours later I slowly pull myself up. I grab my jeans and yank them back up my sore body. The man is long gone. I have no idea who I just let fuck me, but I miss him. I miss his words and his warmth. I’m crazy. Insane. How can I miss something like that? I don’t even know who he was.
I cry all the way into the back room and enter the bathroom. Paul had a shower put in a long time ago so that the homeless could come in here when needed. I reach in and turn the water to as hot as I can get it before I step in.
“What did you do?” I yell at myself while still crying.
How could I have been so stupid? What was I thinking? Why didn’t I just scream for help? I couldn’t fight? I’m weak. Just like they always told me I was. I remember their words. They’re repeating over and over as each one had their way with me. Women are weak. I’m weak.
Seven
Monster
“You ready?” Viking asks as I finish checking my guns. I slide one back into the holster and put the other one into the back of my jeans.
“Yeah. Let’s do this.”
He nods his head and pulls Carnie into his arms. He presses a kiss to her lips. Mason’s doing the same thing to Whit. Grinder grins and slaps a hand on my shoulder.
“You seen enough of this shit?” he asks nodding toward the guys.
“Nah, they’re whipped brother. Nothin’ they can do,” I laugh as we walk out of the door. I grab my bandana and tie it around my face before I look back toward Grinder. “Thought you had an old lady when I first got here?”
“I did. Cheatin’ bitch was fuckin’ one of the guys from Reaper’s Crew. Hell, maybe more than one of the guys.”
“No shit? I thought we were good with them?”
“We are. Which is why I tossed the bitch over to them. Never again Monster. I don’t want a woman that bad,” he answers shaking his head.
I remember the girl. She was cute, small, and petite. She had a look about her that screamed she wouldn’t be tied down. It reminds me of the look Kyza has. I can’t stop thinking about that girl. She has my head in knots, and my cock is even worse.
“What about you? You have a woman back in Cali?”
I shake my head and look away, “Long story there,” I mumble.
“Aren’t they all?” Grinder adds.
“I killed her.”
“What the fuck?”
“She was feedin’ some rivals intel. I found out before my boys did. It would have ended badly for everyone involved if I hadn’t handled it on my own. I couldn’t bring the club or the girls down like that. They never trusted her, so I told them she bolted.”
I’ve never told anyone that, but with Grinder I know it stays between us. Grinder has always been there for me since the moment I stepped foot in the door. He was the first one to step up to me as a real friend and I value that.
“Goddamn, and here I thought I had women problems. Never trust one again.”
“Never.”
And that’s the part that’s bothering me. I trust Kyza regardless if I know her or not. She has that edge to her. She’s almost vulnerable in a way. She locks herself up tightly, but when she looks at me, like she did that night, I know she’s better than she thinks she is. She has more to offer than even she knows.
And I want it. I don’t care how I get it either.
“Heard that. Let’s roll,” Grinder says.
I climb on my bike and rev up the engine as Viking and Mason come out of the building. I wait as they both climb onto their bikes and then follow them out. I know where we’re heading.
Our ride takes us a little over an hour. Heading to Key Largo wasn’t high on my list of things to do today, but it is what it is. I follow behind the guys through the gates at the end of the driveway. Armed guards stand on either side as we make out way up to the mansion and what a fucking mansion it is too.
Viking pulls up and parks and we all follow behind him. I’d been expecting to get a little bloody today, but by the looks of the guards around here I’m thinking if I shoot, it might be my goddamn blood being spilled.
I pull my helmet off and leave it on my seat as I follow the guys toward the steps. I pull my bandana off my face and wrap it around my head. Men eye us as we walk up the steps. We’re ushered toward the side of the house. I keep my eyes open as I’m cautious what might be waiting around that corner. I don’t know this asshole personally, but I’ve heard of him. He’s an over privileged punk that married into this life but that doesn’t make him any less lethal. The son of a bitch killed his wife’s father, forced her to marry him, and took over as king. He took her last name and all.
“Viking it’s good to see you man. I will assume your boys are armed?” Matthew asks as he looks around at us. I don’t like him, his slimy attitude or his slimy ways.
“You would assume correctly. I don’t go to war without weapons,” Viking answers.
Matthew laughs before he reaches for his glass and swallows the contents.
“Please sit. You may keep your weapons because I can assure you that this is not a war.” Vikings sits with Mason while Grinder and I stand behind them. I keep close enough that I can easily hear what’s being said.
“What is this about?” Viking asks. I can tell that he’s on edge.
“I have some issues with my suppliers running through your area. It seems they are having to take the long way around as you aren’t letting them come through your turf.”
The way he says the word turf sets me edge. Of course it’s our territory. No one crosses it without our permission.
“And why is this our problem?” Mason chimes in. I chuckle under my breath and glance over to see Grinder doing the same.
“I need my guns moved in a timelier manner,” Matthew adds.
“Then hire better runners,” Viking says as he shoves out of his chair.
“That’s what you’re here for.”
Viking sits back down reluctantly. I know he’s tired of this shit already and I can’t say that I can blame him. Matthew needs to hurry and get to the point of this meeting. We all know that the sight of a group of bikes lined up at a cartel boss’s house is going to throw up red flags to an
y agency that might be watching him or us.
“You wanna hurry it up and spit it out Ortega? We do have shit to handle, yeah?”
This is why I like Viking, he’s to the point and doesn’t apologize for a thing. It makes him a strong leader.
“I want you and your men to run my guns from New York to Florida. Having to add a middle man at this point won’t hold any value for me. I need those guns moving. Is that something you’d agree to?”
Viking glances at Mason then looks over his shoulder to us. I shrug, because frankly guns I can handle. I ran them back in Cali all the time.
“What exactly are we gettin’ out of it?” Viking asks.
“A few things actually. You will have my protection from anyone looking to harm you or yours in any way.”
“We don’t need that. What else you got?” I snicker again.
“You will be nicely compensated for your job as well as receive a percentage of the guns. Do with them what you will. Does that sound more appealing to you?”
Viking clears his throat and gets down to business as I eye the little piece of ass that’s wandering around. She’s young. She’s probably not even twenty yet. She has long blonde hair like Kyza.
“You would do well to keep your eyes off of my child,” Matthew snaps. I look away from her to grin at him and ask, “You mean to tell me you have a wife?”
“No.”
“Just a kid huh?”
I know that his wife died a few years ago. I just like pushing this asshole’s buttons.
“Is this any of your concern?” Viking clears his throat and I’m not sure if it’s for me or Ortega.
“Not really, I was just curious.”
I turn around and keep an eye on the other assholes he has stationed around here as Viking finishes up with this meeting. Overall I’m a little sad that I didn’t get to shoot anyone in the face today.
Eight
Kyza