by Doyle, S
He started to unbutton my heavy flannel shirt, careful not to pull them off, knowing clothes were a precious commodity. After that he pulled off my thermal Henley I’d worn underneath. I watched as his hands worked the button and zipper of my jeans.
I didn’t think to help him. I was his to undress. His to pleasure. It was strange how much power this infused me with. I felt like a queen in some court where the squire served my every need.
He slid my jeans down my legs, and I stepped out of them. I held my foot up so he could pull my socks off, but he shook his head.
“I don’t want your feet to get cold on the cabin floor.”
“You’re not wearing socks,” I pointed out.
“Baby, I’m so hot right now, I could melt steel. Trust me.”
Wrapping his arm around my waist, he lifted me against him and that sensation of us touching, skin to skin, body to body, was amazing. I lifted my legs and wrapped them around his waist holding onto him with all my strength. He walked us to the bed and practically tossed me on to it.
I got under the covers and lifted the blankets in invitation. He turned, though, and walked back to his jeans, pulling a strip of condoms out of the back pocket. Peeling off one of the condoms, he sheathed himself quickly, then tossed the rest of the strip on the bed.
“You understand what I mean by control?” he asked me.
Not a clue, but I nodded and welcomed him into my bed, into my arms. He was right. He was incredibly hot and, suddenly, I felt like I was stretched out under the sun. In a way that was dangerous because I was likely to get scorched, but I couldn’t care.
Then he was moving down my body smattering kisses here and there, nipping at my nipple but with a definitive goal in mind. He placed my right thigh over his broad shoulder, then my left over his other shoulder. I was completely open to him and had no understanding of what he was about to do when I felt his tongue spear me right between the folds.
“Oh gracious.”
I’d read about this in books. Understood conceptually it was supposed to feel good, but I couldn’t be prepared for the actual sensation of what his tongue was doing to me.
And it wasn’t just his tongue. It was his nose, his lips, his entire mouth. I felt devoured with absolutely no control over the pleasure that was being forced upon me.
I couldn’t move my legs as he held then in his grip even as his mouth continued to do wicked things between my thighs. Then I felt his tongue, higher up along the seam, where it pushed and laved and it was too much.
That sensation I’d only just felt the night before came rushing back. Only this time it was stronger and even more consuming.
“Caleb!”
I hadn’t realized it, but I’d been holding on to the bars of the headboard. Holding so tightly I might have crushed them with my hands. I let go of one and, instead, tried to pull at Caleb’s hair, to pull him away from where he was still teasing me with tip of his nose.
He lifted his head and I could see his face clearly even in the shadow of moonlight. He looked like a wild beast who’d just fed on his prey. He pushed himself to his knees, my thighs still spread over his shoulders, until his cock was poised to enter me.
“I’m sorry, Vivienne…next time.”
I didn’t know what he meant and couldn’t process it until I felt him push inside me, hard and deep. He was too big, and I was too tight, and it stung. Not as bad as when I’d lost my virginity, but it was still too much for me to handle.
“Caleb! Wait.”
“Fuck, Vivienne. I don’t think I can. You’re so fucking tight around me. I’m losing my mind.”
“You need to do this. You promised me pleasure,” I insisted then I wiggled my hips to try and accommodate him. To his credit, he didn’t move. His whole body stilled as he looked down at where our bodies were connected. I could feel the tension in him. Could practically feel his dick throbbing inside me, angry for having been made to wait.
But wait Caleb did. Waited until the sting subsided and I was able to focus on the pleasure of having him deep inside me. Waited while I arched my back and used my thighs to pull him in deeper or push him away, taking him in short strokes that my body quickly responded to. Waited until the arousal that had been stoked by my first orgasm started to fire up again.
He was still watching us down there. Watching where our bodies joined.
“Caleb,” I said, reaching out to him, touching him on his hip, the only place I could reach. “It’s okay now.”
His head sprung up and our eyes met. I nodded and again arched my back so I was stretched out on the bed.
His very own near-virginal sacrifice. I smiled at the thought. “Now you can lose control.”
“Vivienne,” he groaned, but his hands came around my ass and he squeezed the cheeks hard, thrusting in deep at the same time.
Now I understood what he meant. There was no control in his movements. No finesse in his snapping hips. My wild beast was back, and he was taking me and ravaging me, only I didn’t mind because it felt so good.
My body jerked along the bed. My breasts jiggled with each pounding. He was cursing and groaning above me then shaking so hard I might have worried if his face hadn’t looked so completely blissed out.
It started for me then. That wild feeling like every muscle in my body was coming together in one long, blissful stretch. I squeezed myself around his cock.
“Fuck! Vivienne!” A few more hard thrusts then he collapsed on top of me, freeing my thighs from his shoulders and taking enough of his weight on his forearms to not suffocate me. Still he remained throbbing inside me. Or was that me throbbing around him? I supposed it didn’t matter.
I wrapped my arms around him and let him push his face against my neck. Knowing he needed the comfort as the realization hit him that I wasn’t his wife and never would be. And the realization would come.
I don’t know if it was his sweat or his tears I felt against my shoulder. I just knew I had to give him all the comfort my body could give him, and I did.
13
Cal
She was curled up on her side with her back to me. I’d managed to get out of bed earlier, dump the condom, only to crawl back in bed, spooning her from behind and promptly falling asleep.
Not a kiss. Not a word to say…what? Thank you seemed rather inappropriate, although I was thankful.
And a little sad maybe, but the guilt I was sure I would feel wasn’t there. Instead, other than the whisper of grief, I felt this strange contentment. It could have been the sex, but more it was the sense that I was safe in this bed with her. My emotions, my lack of control, my graceless fucking all could have been on trial, but not with Vivienne.
With her there was only quiet acceptance. Which was crazy given her lack of experience. With men in general. With sex in particular. I could feel the tremors in her body when I went down on her. Knew it was her first time and I’d wondered briefly if I had given her her first orgasm.
Suddenly, I had to know the answer to that.
“Vivienne,” I said, kissing her shoulder, running my hand along her side, over her belly. Fuck, she was so soft. “Vivienne.”
“Hmm?”
“Did I give you your first orgasm? When I went down on you?”
She wiggled her ass against my cock and if she did it again, I was going to get hard.
“Technically no.”
That was disappointing for some stupid reason.
“Your dream self gave me my first orgasm last night.”
I smiled. Something I didn’t do very often. She faced me then and she was smiling, too. She reached out to touch my lips and I knew it was because she liked to see me smiling at her rather than perpetually scowling at her.
“Orgasms are awesome,” she whispered.
I bent to kiss her lips. “Yes, they are. And they come in many ways. I plan to show you all of them.”
Her face scrunched up. “I’m not…I haven’t done much. Not even a blow job or anything. Dave tri
ed to push my head down there once and truth was I just didn’t want to. Not with him by that point. If I’m being honest…I kind of didn’t like sex very much at all. Until now. This feels different.”
Because some asshole had taken her virginity without giving her an orgasm. Pushed her head, instead of letting her take the lead. I wanted to find him and end him, but I knew both things were impractical. Instead, I kissed her like she deserved to be kissed. Sweetly, softly. Like I had all the time in the world.
Her hand roamed my chest and I tried not to think about how good it felt. To be touched by someone. To feel present in my skin in a way I hadn’t for a long time. Then her hand wandered lower and I thought to stop her. To show her that sex wasn’t all about a man and his dick. It was about shared pleasure, mutual touching, each serving the other instead of one stealing something for himself.
But she was exploring so I let her. God, it felt good. Someone else’s hand on my dick. Soft, tentative fingers. Then bolder strokes. I didn’t guide her or instruct her because I didn’t care about getting off. I only wanted to be touched.
“Caleb, what’s married sex like?”
I frowned. “I’m not fucking talking about my sex life with my wife with you.”
Her hand pulled away.
“Fuck,” I said. “I didn’t mean to be harsh…it’s just not something I’m going to talk about.”
“I didn’t mean with Sarah. I’m not trying to compete with her. I would never do that. I just meant in general. Is it different when you’re married?”
Right, because it couldn’t be a competition. There was no such thing in my mind. Sex with Sarah had been awesome back then. Sex with Vivienne had been awesome now. Different maybe because I’d been so desperately needy, but also there was this sense that I had to be more careful with her. More patient. More gentle. All of those things I hadn’t been the first time.
Which should have been bothersome. I was a grown man who hadn’t fucked in years. Now that I’d given myself permission, all I wanted to do was fuck. Fuck her like a damn rabbit in every hole she’d let me. But that wasn’t what she needed and in making myself calm down, in putting her needs before mine, that was its own kind of tease.
I thought about her question. I thought about what I needed to do to get her to start touching me again. Because suddenly, I needed her touch desperately.
“Married sex is about openness. Once you’re married, that’s it. You’ve basically picked your person. So anything you want to do or try it’s going to be with that person. Which means everything is on the table.”
“Everything?”
I snorted. “Everything.” There was something there. Something in the silence that had me wondering. “Vivienne, is there something you want to try?”
Her hand was back. On my chest, over my stomach, brushing my cock. I spread my thighs to give her access to my balls. Fuck, that felt good. Her fingers lightly tapping over them.
“I told you things were very restricted for me growing up. Sex…even the concept of it wasn’t discussed or considered. The expectation was that I was supposed to remain a virgin until marriage. The end.”
I started to do my own touching. My finger across her collar bone. My palm cupping her full breast. Her nipple was puckered and hard, and I pinched it between my fingers. When I did, her hand circled around my cock and tugged.
“But you’re stubborn and a fighter. You told me so. So what did you do to get around those restrictions?”
Another pause. “I told you, I read books.”
Ah. Now I knew where this was going. Something she’d read had turned her on, but she was embarrassed or ashamed to say it.
“You can tell me, Vivienne. I trusted you with my lack of control. You might not know the difference, but you’ll see when I fuck you again. I had all the finesse of a seventeen-year-old kid losing his cherry for the first time. So tell me what you want to try.”
“You’ll think it’s silly. I think it’s silly. I mean, it doesn’t sound like it would be fun at all, but then I read this book and, well, it made me all jittery inside.”
“Get over it, Vivienne. There is nothing silly or wrong about two people experimenting with sex. It’s healthy and natural and you should have been brought up with that attitude. If you had, you also would have known that condoms are a must every time.”
“I don’t regret Sam!” she said, getting up on her elbow.
“I know you don’t. I’m not telling you that you should, either. I’m simply telling you it was wrong to send you into adulthood without being prepared. Now tell me your fantasy.”
“I’ve always sort of wondered about the spanking stuff.”
I smiled.
“See, you’re laughing at me,” she charged, clearly able to see my smile.
“I’m not laughing,” I told her. Then I brought her hand back to my now raging hard-on. “I’m smiling because spanking your sweet ass is going to be the most fun I’ve had in a long time.”
“Caleb!” she screeched, trying to sound outraged, but it was too late. The cat was out of the bag.
“Roll over, on your knees, woman” I said, pushing her in that direction.
“You mean now?!”
“Why not?” I said. I grabbed another condom and slid it on over my erection. Then I made her hold the bars of the headboard. Her ass was tipped up in front of me. A sweet, supple peach.
I brought the flat of my hand down right on it without too much heat.
“That is for heading off to Alaska to meet some stranger who could have been dangerous.” I rubbed around the spot where I’d smacked her. Then I brought my hand down hard on the other cheek. “That is for not leaving when I told you to go.”
“Caleb, I don’t know how I feel about this.”
Except I reached around to find her nipples were still hard little pebbles that when I pinched them, she rolled her ass against me. Ran my hand over and between her cheeks then, further down, I slipped a finger deep and high inside her pussy. She was dripping wet.
I knew exactly how she felt about this.
After teasing her clit a little, I pulled back and slapped her ass again, rubbing what I was sure would be flaming red skin. “That was for stealing all my change for your tips.”
“You wanted me to have that money. Admit it!”
This time I delivered two quick snaps, neither one packing any heat but would sound kinky.
“That was for getting sick and scaring the shit out of me.” One last hard slap that made her squeak. “And that was for making me lose control.”
I got up on my knees and slid into her from behind. This time she took me easier. I planted myself high and deep and waited until I could feel her adjust to my girth. Again, I took the time to play with her nipples, pulling a little harder, pinching a little more firmly than I might have. Because Vivienne, I was learning, liked her sex to be a little edgy.
Fuck me, I was a lucky old man.
“Yes, yes,” she panted. “Oh god, that feels so good.”
I leaned over her, my dick pushing inside her in short thrusts. “Say, Fuck me, Caleb. Go on, say it. It will feel so good to free yourself. What do you want, Vivienne? What do you want me to do to you?”
I wrapped her braid into my fist, tugging enough that she had to lift her head. Had to acknowledge how this was making her feel. It killed me, but I pulled completely out of her red-hot pussy.
“No,” she whimpered.
Another slap on her ass. “Nope, you’re with me now. You tell me what you want. You understand me, Vivienne? You’re in control of this.”
“Fu…fu...”
“Fuck me, Caleb. That’s what you want, isn’t it? Fuck me so hard that I come. Talk to me, Vivienne.”
“Oh. Please. Yes. Yes. Fuck me, fuck me.”
I slid back inside her and we both groaned.
“Harder. Harder,” she demanded. “It’s so much. Ugh!”
I gave her what she wanted and in doing so, I took for mys
elf. Her ass, her pussy were now mine. I could feel her body shaking under mine. Feel the orgasm that was building inside of her. I changed my angle and hit a spot inside her that made her scream. I hit it again and again until she was screaming my name so loud, I thought all of Hope’s Point might hear her.
My cum exploded out of me as the orgasm ripped through my body until I couldn’t see or hear or think. There was only the sick fucking pleasure of my dick coming inside Vivienne.
She collapsed underneath me and, after a few breaths, I slipped out of her so I could deal with the condom. This time when I got back to bed, I had to push her over to make room for me.
On my stomach next to her, my hand on her ass, her hand on the small of my back rubbing in circles like she did.
“How’d you like the spanking stuff?”
She grunted like a woman hard fucked and totally satisfied.
“Yeah, that’s what I thought.”
* * *
Vivienne
It was strange how I knew it was morning. It was still completely dark outside but my body clock was adjusted to winter so I knew it was probably after seven o’clock. Sam would be up, and the loss of his morning smile was real and poignant until I considered that he was in Shelby’s loving care.
My body felt wrecked. A little sore between my legs, a lot sore on my ass—good thing I had a job where I was on my feet the whole time. But everything else felt delightfully stretched and limber.
Like if I needed to, I could run a marathon.
I turned my head to see that Caleb was still asleep. Soft breaths coming from his mouth, he looked more relaxed than I’d ever seen him. Like the tension that was always around his eyes was suddenly gone.
Draped over him like a blanket, I could feel the body heat he gave off and I wondered how awful it was going to be tonight to sleep without him for the first time in days.