“S-s-sssss-Sterling,” I shout.
My now ex-best friend pops up from behind the bookshelves with a would-be innocent expression on his face. “Super busy back here. Did I miss somethin’?” He feigns innocence, and I shoot him a look to cut the shit while waving Kiernan’s business card in his direction.
“What do I d-d-do?”
He comes around the shelves to join me at the front. Sterling hops up onto the counter and taps his chin like he’s considering the situation. “Gonna go out on a limb here and say you should call.”
“Ha,” I bark out a laugh and shove the card into my back pocket. “F-f-f-fat ch-chance.”
“Why not?”
I give him another look. As if he wasn’t eavesdropping behind that shelf, listening to what an absolute idiot I made of myself. I can’t string two words together in front of him. How am I supposed to go on a date with him?
“I’m too n-nervous.”
“Hm,” he hums, seeming to give it some genuine thought this time. “You know what you need?”
“What?”
“Practice flirting with Daddies.” Sterling waggles his eyebrows at me, and I give another harsh laugh.
“I’m s-s-sure other Daddies will be easier to talk to than he is,” I say, my tone dripping with sarcasm.
“Online they would be,” he reasons.
I scrunch my eyebrows together and then realize he’s probably referring to the time I mentioned the kink section of M4M to him. “M-m-maybe.”
“You deserve a Daddy who’s crazy about ya.”
My chest aches at the thought. I want that; I really do. Maybe it would be easier to get some practice chatting online. I can gain a bit of confidence, and then I’ll be able to get up enough courage to say a full sentence in front of Kiernan.
“I’ll think about it,” I agree, and Sterling smiles.
Chapter 4
Kiernan
I straighten the lapels on my suit and then snag a glass off a waiter’s tray as he hurries by. The champagne bubbles fizz against my tongue as I take a sip, surveying the crowded room.
I can’t for the life of me remember what we’re even fundraising for tonight. Some kind of medical research, maybe? A new cancer drug? No, that was two weeks ago…
I shake my head and take another sip of my drink. It doesn’t matter. Whatever this is for, we’ll raise the money we need, then contribute some of our own to make sure the project is funded, and I’ll do all the legal paperwork.
It was with a grudging acceptance that I attended Harvard Law School, mostly as a way to make it up to my parents after coming out and shattering their dreams of having the family name carried on. Kids. Shudder.
Months before graduation, filled with pitiable rich boy ennui, Barrett came to me and pitched the idea of partnering to start an investment firm—my legal expertise and his money. He was sure we could change the world, put some good back into it, and I was sold on the idea. I just wish he’d warned me how many tedious parties we would have to attend.
“There you are, Daddy.” My date, Henry, approaches with a flirty smile on his lips as he slides an arm around me. I didn’t tell him to call me Daddy. In fact, I wish he would stop, which isn’t a feeling I’m familiar with. Maybe it’s because it sounds so manufactured. As if he’s saying it because he thinks that’s what I expect, not because he wants all of the attention and care that I’d offer him if I were his Daddy.
“Here I am,” I say flatly, handing him my half-empty champagne flute. He takes a sip and leans into me, which irritates me for some reason. On the surface, he’s being perfectly sweet; I’m not sure why it’s grating on my nerves so much.
“I’m so glad you brought me here tonight. I’ve met so many interesting people. I’d love to come to more of these.” He runs his hand up my arm and bats his long eyelashes at me. “But I might need more nice clothes, Daddy.”
Ah, there it is.
I hum in acknowledgment, and he starts fishing for a Rolex while I proceed to tune him out. My eyes wander over to Barrett on the dance floor with his boy, smiling like a fool and swaying to the music. A sour feeling fills my stomach as I grimace and look away from their blinding display of pure love and joy.
A few feet away, sitting at a table by himself and seeming to peruse the crowd the same way I am, is Alden. He didn’t bring a date tonight. In fact, he hasn’t brought a date to an event in well over a year. With Henry continuing to blatantly angle for expensive trinkets, I have to acknowledge the wisdom of Alden’s approach. Then again, as I watch his eyes greedily track the movements of Barrett’s assistant, Gannon, across the room, I have to assume that he has his own reasons for steering clear of the dating pool recently.
“Don’t you think, Daddy?” Henry asks.
“Not really,” I answer, not bothering to wonder what it was he asked. His face hardens into a glare, so I guess it was the wrong response. If only I had it in me to give a shit. “I think I’ve had enough for one night.”
His face lights up again, and he puts a hand on my chest, puckering his lips in a look that I think is meant to be sexy but just makes him look like he has a duck face. “You want to take me back to your place, Daddy?”
“I’m going to take you home, Henry, and then I’m going to go back to my place…alone.”
He sticks his bottom lip out in a pout. “I’d love to take a dip in your pool. The only thing is, I don’t have a swimsuit with me.” I’ve gotta give it to him; he’s really trying. There’s no telling what he would do if I did buy him a Rolex or whatever car he was hinting about while I ignored him. That’s just the thing though, I’ve had about all I can take of boys who only want me for what’s in my wallet.
“No,” I say firmly.
He crosses his arms defiantly. “Maybe I’d rather find someone else to take me home then.”
I huff through my nose in irritation. “Suit yourself. Have a good night.”
I would slip some cab money into his pocket just to be safe, but based on the way a few of our wealthy donors are eyeing him, I don’t think he’ll have any trouble finding what he’s looking for tonight.
I find my car and driver parked around the back. Jordan gives me a rather pitying look when he sees that I’ve lost my date at some point in the night and opens the car door for me.
“Home?” he checks.
I consider the question for half a second. Is there somewhere else I could go to ease the aching loneliness in my chest? The answer used to be Ball and Chain, the kink club just outside of town, but the boys there aren’t much different than Henry. They see me coming a mile away and flock to me with dollar signs in their eyes.
“Home,” I say with a sigh. Jordan nods and doesn’t say another word as he takes me back to my big, empty house.
As soon as I’m inside, I follow my familiar routine of heading for my bedroom and stripping down to my underwear.
Em turned me down, and every other boy in Las Vegas is just out for my money. Maybe I should wander into the first backwater bar I find and see if fate decides to bless me the way it did Barrett.
What I really need is the chance to meet boys before they know who I am. If I could get to know someone without my money clouding everything, maybe then I could have the kind of relationship Barrett found with Sterling.
I pick up my phone to clear all of my M4M notifications and the texts from Barrett and Alden asking where I disappeared to. Then an idea occurs to me. M4M…
I open the app and log out of my profile. I hover my thumb over the Create New Profile button, wondering if this idea has any merit before deciding there’s only one way to find out.
Emerson
I pace back and forth in front of my open laptop. I’ve been trying to work up the courage to click Done on my new kink-specific profile for about half an hour now. I would text Sterling for a pep talk, but he’s at some fancy party tonight.
Kiernan is probably there too, no doubt with a fabulous date on his arm. A date that could hav
e been me if I didn’t freeze up last week when he asked me to go out for coffee with him. My options were to either spend the night pouting and eating ice cream or take Sterling’s advice and get some practice in with Daddies online until I’m comfortable enough to be brave in front of Kiernan. I ate an entire carton of ice cream, and now, here we are.
“You can do it,” I whisper to myself before taking a deep breath and leaning over my laptop. “Just p-press the button.”
I decided to make a new profile so I could limit the personal information I included. Everything I wrote is real, I just kept it a lot vaguer than my regular profile. I did the same with my profile pictures: none of my face, just some artsy body images.
I clench my eyes closed and stab the enter button with my index finger, letting out a little “eep” that I think is relief but is possibly pure terror now that I officially have a profile up on the M4M: Kink.
I’m not sure what I was expecting to happen, but it’s pretty anticlimactic. Some suggestions for men in my area start to pop up, but that’s it. Once my heart starts to beat at a more normal speed, I climb onto my bed, folding my legs into a pretzel, and pull my laptop closer so I can browse.
There are more Daddies than I expected. Although, I guess it is a big city and some of them are likely tourists here for some weekend fun. There’s a huge variety: strict Daddies, doting Daddies, old, young, chubby, skinny… My mind spins over all of the options I have to sift through.
I’ve known I was into the idea of having a Daddy since I was sixteen and stumbled onto some Daddy porn, but I haven’t given thought to all the different kinds of Daddies there would be to choose from. How am I supposed to know what I like or what I want?
I scan profile after profile, learning things I’m stunned to realize I never thought of before. Like how some Daddies are only Daddies in bed and others want it twenty-four-seven. Which do I want? I think I might like spanking, but what about other kinds of punishments?
Not only do I feel like I’m in over my head with this, but I’m starting to wonder if I’m a really shitty writer for not realizing all of the nuances of this lifestyle. In my defense, my only research for my books is porn and my own fantasies.
I’m about to slam my laptop closed and call this a failed experiment when a message pops up.
LonelyDaddy: Hi.
LonelyDaddy: I love the unicorn tattoo you have in your profile pic.
BraveBoy: It’s a Pegasus. Unicorns have horns, Pegasus have wings, and if it has both, it’s an Alicorn.
LonelyDaddy: I stand corrected. I had no idea.
BraveBoy: Come for the kink, stay for the useless factoids about mythical creatures.
LonelyDaddy: Ha! That genuinely made me laugh, thank you.
I grin and click on his profile picture so I can see the rest of his info. His profile is similarly vague. It says he lives here, but his profession is left blank. He’s been in the lifestyle twenty years, and he wants a full-time boy. Like me, he doesn’t have any pictures of his face, but the body shots are more than enough to pique my interest. My favorite is a photo of his chest that looks broad and sturdy, covered in auburn chest hair.
It reminds me of Kiernan, and my stomach jolts, wondering if it could be him. I’m sure he has a profile on this site. Who doesn’t? I navigate back to the full list of men in my area, scrolling quickly to see if I can spot anyone else who could be Kiernan. Sure enough, the second page has a profile that’s unmistakably him. The main image is his smiling face, and his username is GingerDaddy.
Disappointment settles in my stomach, but before I can wallow in it, another message pops up from my new friend.
LonelyDaddy: Your profile is pretty blank. What are you into, BraveBoy?
BraveBoy: Can I be honest with you?
LonelyDaddy: Please.
BraveBoy: I’m not totally sure what I’m into. I want a Daddy, and I definitely have some fantasies, but I haven’t tried any of them out.
BraveBoy: That’s kind of why I created this profile, I guess. I’ve been too nervous to meet any Daddies, and this felt like a safe first step.
LonelyDaddy: Chatting can be a fun way to learn about your preferences and kinks. I’m selfless enough that I’d be happy to help you out with that;)
BraveBoy: Lol, very selfless, thank you.
BraveBoy: I have a question…
LonelyDaddy: Shoot
BraveBoy: How do I figure out if I want a Daddy all the time or just in the bedroom?
LonelyDaddy: Full-time Daddies tend to be very hands on. When I have a boy, I’m serious about wanting to be involved in every aspect of his life, giving him structure like chores around the house, making sure he’s eating, sleeping, and taking care of himself, solving his problems when I can, basically taking care of all of his needs.
I picture what he’s describing, putting Kiernan in the Daddy role, of course. I let myself fantasize about coming home at the end of the workday to my big, strong Daddy scooping me up and carrying me to the couch so he can take my shoes off for me and rub my feet. A relaxed feeling flows through me as I imagine what it would be like to have someone I could trust and rely on to take care of everything for me. I would be so grateful to him. I would do everything I could to be his good boy in return.
A shiver of happiness runs through me.
BraveBoy: That’s what I want.
LonelyDaddy: It’s a beautiful thing to find.
BraveBoy: I’ll have to work up the courage to meet a Daddy first. My username is kind of meant to be aspirational.
LonelyDaddy: Tell you what, I’m happy to be like training wheels for you. We can chat, and you can ask me any questions you want.
BraveBoy: You want a silly, nervous boy bothering you with stupid questions all the time? What’s in it for you?
Nude pictures wouldn’t be too big of a price to pay for the kind of help he’s offering, but I’d like to know up front what he expects from me.
LonelyDaddy: First Daddy lesson: a true Daddy will do just about anything for the simple satisfaction of knowing he’s taking care of a boy in need.
My throat tightens and my pulse thrums in my veins. That’s the kind of Daddy I want.
LonelyDaddy: Now, do you have any more immediate questions, or can I ask some follow-ups about the Pegasus/unicorn distinction? Since you’re clearly an expert and all…
I giggle at the message and type back a reply.
BraveBoy: Buckle up because I’m about to teach you everything you never wanted to know about mythical horses.
LonelyDaddy: Bring it on.
Chapter 5
Emerson
I yawn and try to focus on whatever it is that Sterling is going over. Something about refurbishing some old school buses we managed to get cheap. Fuck, I’m tired. I rub my eyes discreetly and fight back another yawn.
“Em?” Sterling says, and I look up from the paper I’ve been trying to concentrate on, all the numbers and dates swimming in front of my exhausted eyes.
“S-s-s-sorry, what?”
“I was just checking that you like the plan.”
“Oh, yeah, it sounds g-great.” I nod enthusiastically, glancing over at Gannon and Nolan, who occupy the loveseat opposite my chair. They don’t look convinced that I was paying the least bit of attention and neither does Sterling.
“Is everything okay? If you hate this plan, we can talk about different options. That’s the whole point of these meetings: to brainstorm together. I sure as heck don’t have the first clue what I’m doin’ here on my own.” Sterling gives one of those cute, self-deprecating smirks.
“S-ss-sorry, I didn’t get much sleep l-last night.” I look at the paper again, skimming the information and then giving a reassuring nod. “This really does l-look great.”
Sterling looks relieved and then glances over at Gannon. “You have a lot more experience with all this than I do. Does my timeline look good? Am I missin’ anything?”
As Barrett’s assistant, he’s the only one
of us with any real experience with launching non-profits. Apparently, a big part of his job is to oversee the early phases of many of the projects the company invests in.
“It looks good. But you might want to start talking to the various counties sooner rather than later. Bureaucratic paperwork can take ages,” he advises, and Sterling makes a note on his own sheet of paper.
I have to wonder what help I am in any of this. Sterling seems to have a handle on the planning, Gannon is obviously useful, and Nolan is already hard at work planning some launch events and different things to bring community awareness to the mobile libraries once they’re all ready to go.
“Our next biggest problem is figurin’ out how to get some books donated. It ain’t gonna be a very impressive library without books.”
I brighten up. Now this I can handle. “I can be in charge of that. I’ll put up a donation b-b-bin at the shop, and I’ll talk to other b-bookstores about doing the same. And I can set up social m-mm-media pages to support the cause as well.”
“Great.” Sterling makes another note and then closes the big binder he’s keeping all of his paperwork in. “I think we’re all set for tonight then. Anybody want snacks or anything?”
He stands up, and we all follow suit. Gannon struggles for a second, seeming to have a little trouble getting leverage on his prosthetic leg, thanks to how deep the sofa is. Nolan offers him a hand, and he scowls.
Nolan rolls his eyes. “Quit it with the macho pride shit and let me help you up.”
Gannon grumbles for another few seconds, making another attempt to get up on his own before giving up and taking the offered hand. Nolan doesn’t seem to give it another thought once Gannon is on his feet, flouncing after Sterling toward the kitchen. But I catch a tense look on Gannon’s face, his square jaw clenched as he follows at a much slower pace. I notice a wince every few steps, and I wrestle with whether to mention it or not.
Brave Boy (Perfect Boys Book 2) Page 3