by Jun, Kristi
“Adam?” she said in utter shock. “What are you doing here?” His personal valet, Mr. Anderson, was right behind him. Adam’s stern expression cast a foreboding on her future. How was he already here?
“Anderson,” her brother said without looking back at him.
“Yes, Your Grace,” he said dutifully.
“Gather my sister’s belonging.” He then said to Emily, “We are leaving.”
Shock turned to panic, then she became angry. “You had me followed?”
“You do not have the right to question me.”
The expression on her brother’s face slowly morphed into rage. She needed to tread carefully, she knew that much, before she could reason with him.
“It was Lord Foley’s request that someone keep an eye on you while I was away.” His jaw twitched. “I see that he was right when he said I have given you too much freedom.” He glared at her. “We need to depart now.”
She should be ashamed of her actions and society would agree, but she wasn’t. She was hurt and angry that he could not possibly understand her desires. Why was he so insistent on this? It seemed as of late, her brother was becoming unreasonable. She had no wish to be shackled to Lord Foley, and yet she knew she needed to be diplomatic in her approach to addressing this subject.
“I am not a child. I am twenty years old and I should have the right to make my own decision on whom I wish to marry. Why is this so hard for you to understand, Adam?” Her voice was shaking and desperate.
“You lost all credibility with me,” he said. “Your romantic notion of a love match is unrealistic and foolish, as it was four years ago.”
His words stung. She had let him down, she knew this. “Not a love match.” She paused. “I just want a voice in what matters to me, Adam. Is that so much to ask?”
“You don’t have that option. None of us do.”
“You do not hear me, Adam. You say you do, but you don’t. This is me telling you I wish to be free of Lord Foley.” Her brother watched her carefully. She needed him to understand that she was in love with Johnathan, that she wasn’t doing this to hurt anyone.
Oh God, she loved Johnathan. Not because he promised her a future, not because she felt he could protect her. No, this was entirely different. She loved him for all his flaws, and she wanted nothing more than to share this life with him. To live out their existence together despite what it may bring them.
“Don’t tell me you’ve fallen for him.”
Her brother’s voice was full of disdain, and she did not expect this. The only emotions left in her heart were disappointment and defeat that she no longer understood her own brother. It was more than she could bear. Should she tell him the truth? Would he understand? The look in his eyes gave her the answer she sought, so she said nothing.
“We are leaving,” he said. “And do not forget whom you are speaking to. Do you understand?”
When she went downstairs with her brother, Johnathan was held in place by three men who were nearly the same size. One beast of a man had a pistol pointed at Johnathan’s head, another man with a deep scar running down his cheek had Johnathan’s arms held behind his back, while the third man stood observing and ready to take orders. This scene defeated her. The fact that her brother went this far made her stomach twist with embarrassment and fear.
“If you attempt to come near my property again, I will have you charged with trespassing and kidnapping. If you attempt to speak with my sister, I will have you arrested for breaking into my cottage and taking advantage of a lady. Do I make myself clear?”
“Your threats are meaningless.” The instant Johnathan finished speaking, the man with a pistol threw a hard punch in Johnathan midsection, and her love crouched in pain.
“Let’s go.”
As she gave Johnathan a last glance, eyes brimming with an apology and tears, she heard Johnathan say to Adam, “This isn’t over.”
Chapter 16
Three full days had gone by and not a single word from Johnathan. She wasn’t surprised, although she was quite hurt. She was certain he wanted nothing to do with her. Why would he when all she’d done was bring him trouble?
In those three days, she realized she desperately loved Johnathan. But the humiliation she felt for how he was treated at the cottage by her brother was something she could not reconcile until she could apologize in person. Yet she could not leave Kemp Manor. Her brother had the servants watching her day and night. This was cruel, and she felt like a prisoner in her own home.
Emily was sitting in her brother’s study, hoping to speak with him. He had refused to speak with her yesterday and this morning. Anderson informed her his lordship was resting, but she knew he couldn’t possibly be resting for three days. He was angry with her, and now he was punishing her. This was a nightmare she wished to wake from.
Her brother entered the study donned in a dark banyan, his gait steady but slow and heavy. He walked over to his desk, sat down on his comfy leather chair, and looked at her.
“Anderson tells me you haven’t moved from that chair in over an hour and that I should speak with you.”
She nodded. “He is correct.”
“Well, I am here. Speak.”
Her brother’s eyes were sunken in, and his cheeks too. “Are you still angry with me?”
He sighed, heavy and deep. “I was never angry with you, Em,” he admitted. “Are you very angry with me?”
“I am,” she said. “But you are my brother.” She was angry with him, and she could remain so, but that would not solve her current predicament. Her brother shifted in his chair as if he couldn’t find comfort, then she noticed his frame. Had he lost weight? He seemed a stone lighter. She’d been so wrapped up with her own grief, she hadn’t noticed how much weight he’d lost . . . maybe two stones. “Are you ill, brother?”
“Just tired with complicated business matters,” he replied. “Why have you requested my presence?”
“I don’t wish to marry Lord Foley,” she said. “Before you say anything, please listen. If I am to marry a man you approve of, I ask that you give me a season. That is all I ask. If you grant me this, I will endeavor to find a husband you will approve of and someone I can respect and love.”
“I thought you were going to beg me to marry Johnathan.”
That night they shared felt like a lifetime ago. But over these three days she realized that she did not have the right to expect him to keep his promise to her. Not after what happened. And she had not attempted to remain with Johnathan, had she? She went back to Kemp Manor with her brother. She concluded she did not deserve him.
“I doubt he will want me after how he was treated,” she replied, lowering her gaze. The look on Johnathan’s face the day her brother came for her was one of dejection and anger. She saw it in his eyes, and all that they’d shared seemed to melt away that instant.
“All I ask is time. I just need time, brother.”
“I see that I have no choice but to reveal the truth of my intentions.”
“What do you mean?” There were several seconds of silence between them, and her brother seem to hesitate. “What is it?”
“Time is one thing I cannot give you,” he said. “I am . . . dying, Em.”
The words felt like a brick to her face. It took a moment for what he was saying to even register and for her to grasp what he was actually telling her. “I don’t understand. How . . . Why?”
“Listen to me . . .” he said.
“No,” she said, shaking her head. “How can this be? Have you consulted a doctor?”
“Many, many doctors here in London and elsewhere.”
She shook her head again. “No,” she said. “There must be another way. We will get you the best doctor. Another opinion. There has to be something we can do.”
“It’s a cancerous virus, Em.”
Sh
aking her head, tears fell. “No, I refuse to believe nothing can be done.”
“I have spent months seeking out doctors, and they all agree that I don’t have long.”
She felt numb. Unsure. No, this couldn’t happen. Her brother couldn’t die. There must be something she could do. “I’ll find a new doctor to treat you. We’ll treat this together.”
“Em, listen to me,” he said. “I don’t have much time. You and I must discuss your engagement.”
“That is the last thing I want to discuss right now, Adam.”
“Listen to me,” he said firmly. “In the marriage contract, Lord Foley has agreed that once you give him a son, you can retire to a place of your choosing. He has agreed that you can choose one of his estates to retire to if you wish. I’ve negotiated so that half of your inheritance is set up in an account only you can draw from for the rest of your life, so that you don’t have to rely on him. In return, you will have his title, his name to protect you, and the respect you deserve.”
“And he agreed to this?”
Her brother nodded. “Once a son is born, your obligation to him will have expired. You will be free to take on any companion. Only in name will you be joined to him. You are free to live as you wish, how you wish.”
“You did all this?” she said, tearing up.
“I wanted to; I needed to. It’s why I was away so often these past few months,” he confessed. “My title and these estates will all go to our cousin in Bath soon after I am gone. Where will you go when that happens? You will be all alone without protection, and I can’t go in peace knowing this.”
“I have my inheritance.”
“You will be alone, unprotected. How will I rest in peace knowing that I have not fulfilled my duty?”
Tears fell harder. How could she not do as he asked?
“I’ve inquired about husbands for you, and Lord Foley is the only offer I have received that has agreed to the terms. As much as I would like to give you the luxury of another season, Em, it is not possible.”
Her brother’s only desire was to fulfill their parents’ wishes and take care of her, so how could she deny him? She wiped her tears away. “Oh, Adam. I can’t lose you too.”
He stood, walked to her, and wrapped his arms around her. “I am sorry you didn’t get to know our parents. They loved you so much.”
She buried her face in his neck and sobbed, her chest shaking. “I miss them. Is that even possible?”
“Of course, it is. Live well,” he said. “Do that for me, for our parents.”
She pulled away from him. “How long do you have?”
He sighed. “Maybe a month.”
She sobbed again. “A month? How cruel life is. Why you? Why can’t doctors heal you?”
“I lived my life. Now it’s time for you to live yours.”
“How can I go on when you’re . . . when you are . . . gone?”
His brother gave her a stern look. “You will be fine, I made sure of it.”
While her brother may be certain, she knew this would break her. She lost Johnathan and now she was going to lose her brother too. Life was cruel, and all the hope she had perished.
Chapter 17
When Kate received an invitation to call on the Duke of Kemp at Kemp Manor, she was unexpectedly surprised. The children were finally recovering and on the mend, so she obliged the duke and called on him.
She had only visited Kemp Manor once before. When the butler escorted her to the grand parlor decorated in ornate baby blue and white rococo, he asked her to wait. Everything about this room spoke of wealth and gentry. On the table by the sofa, there was a setting of china with fresh tea and biscuits for her.
Several minutes later, the butler returned and escorted her to the study. It was at the end of the long hallway toward the back of the manor. She entered and the Duke of Kemp was sitting in his leather chair. On the right side was a blazing fire which left her feeling slightly warm when entering the room. The curtains were drawn, and the room was unnaturally dark for this time of day.
The duke stood to greet her, and she noticed his appearance. Was he ill? She noticed his sunken eyes, his pale complexion. She didn’t know the man well, but he looked as though he was quite ill, although she was not going to make a point of it.
“I came urgently when I received your message, Your Grace.”
“Thank you for being prompt,” he said. “Please do sit down.”
“What can I do for you?” she said after taking a seat in front of the duke, who looked quite frail and impassive this close up.
“It’s not for me,” he said. “This meeting is regarding my sister.”
“I see.”
“Would you like some tea?”
“No, thank you.”
He gave her a faint smile.
“I ask that what we discuss here today remains between us.”
“Of course.”
“Emily speaks highly of you,” he continued with a long sigh.
“And I of her, as well.”
“The truth is,” he said, “my sister hasn’t stop crying since we came home.”
She was confused. Emily hadn’t mentioned anything to her. “Has something happened?” She had not seen Emily or spoken to her in many days now. She’d been so occupied with preparing Mr. Roberts’s home for his mother’s arrival from Newgate, the upcoming wedding, and assisting Amelia with the sick children, she had not the time to do much of anything else.
“Lady Wentworth hasn’t confided in me of this.”
“I have reason to believe my sister has fondness for your American friend.” The duke spoke of their time together in the cottage and her engagement to Lord Foley.
Kate thought for a capable, intelligent man, Johnathan simply could not let it be. Stubborn man. But then again, the reason why the duke was asking about Johnathan may be that somehow he was resigned to the fact that Emily cared for her friend, and the duke was going to grant her the wish to be with him.
“I suppose fondness isn’t the word for it,” he expressed. “They are not suited. She is a lady. She deserves to have the life she was born into, the social connection and privileges that she has and will continue to have when I am—” The duke touched his stomach as if he were in pain.
“Shall I call someone for you?”
“No, no,” he said. His voice was thick with pain. “It’s all right.” Meeting her eyes again, he spoke again after several seconds. “She is too involved in her emotions, but this fascination will fade with time and she will come to resent him, I am certain of it.” He paused, as if waiting for whatever was making him ill to subside. “I wish you to help her see this truth.”
“You want me to convince her that Johnathan is ill-suited for her?” she said. “Why do you think I have the power to persuade anyone in matters of the heart?”
“Because you are her friend and you want the best for her.”
She wanted to say more, but the man literally looked as though he might faint right in front of her eyes. “Shall I call on your valet?”
He shook his head. “This is more important. I ask that you speak with her. You are her friend. Help her see what is important.”
In many ways, Kate agreed with the duke. Johnathan was a stubborn and single-minded man who often did what he felt was right regardless of opposition. Yet, there was a good intention behind his action, she knew this. After all, he was the one who took her off the streets when she’d been hungry, when she’d been a child and had no one to rely on, and gave her a home. But at times, she sensed that there was a battle being fought inside him, and he was struggling to make the right choice.
He continued, “This is the best choice for her, even though she can’t see it right now. Lord Foley has a long history in England. He has a respectable name and can protect her. I implore you to see reason in
this. He will be here in less than a week, and I need her to be ready to wed.”
“You know she has an affection with Mr. Hawk and yet you won’t allow her the choice?”
“Marrying for affection,” he said firmly, “is a luxury we don’t have, Miss. McBride. I know it is difficult for you to comprehend, but where I come from, tradition, honor, reputation, and connection are what matters. Our family name means everything in this society. She cannot afford to gamble her entire future on her fleeting impulses.”
“Beg your pardon for my frankness, but that is an antiquated speech,” she remarked. “When all else is stripped away, the only thing that truly matters in this world is love and compassion.”
He didn’t seem to have the energy to argue her point. Instead, he said, “Your response doesn’t surprise me in the least, Miss McBride.” He paused, coughing. “If I may be frank with you, I am . . . dying.” He paused for another minute to breathe. “I don’t have much time, and my duty as the sole member of this family is to make certain she has a future, and I would like to see my sister protected before . . .” He didn’t finish his sentence. “Emily needs a friend right now.”
“I am sorry you are ill, Your Grace, I truly am. I know how much she adores you.”
“I do want what is best for my sister. After all, she is the only thing I have in this world. I implore you to help make this transition easier on her.” When Kate said nothing, he continued. “This is my last duty before I can depart this life.”
So, this was about his conscious and not Emily’s happiness. “I will do what I can.”
“Thank you, Miss. McBride,” he said.
Before she stood, she said one more thing, as she felt it needed to be said—something that might help the duke see Johnathan in a new light. “I do believe Mr. Hawk shares the same values, although you may not agree. We Americans want the same things as you do, in many respects— to uphold our values, to strive to protect our family, fight for what we believe in, and to pass on our traditions, just as you have revealed to me. Granted, we are a young country, but when you strip away the antiquated traditions, it’s the same. We all want the same things.”