by Linda Kage
I turned to Farrow, my heart tearing with torment. I knew I couldn’t trust him. And yet…
His eyes swirled with emotion as he watched me decide what to do with him.
“I’m still very, very upset with you for deceiving me,” I needed him to know. “And I still haven’t yet forgiven you for all your lies and lack of trust,” I explained.
It was on the tip of my tongue to add a but, except Farrow drew himself upright and placed a fisted hand against his heart. “You’ve saved me from death more than once. I owe you a life debt in return. Meaning...” Bowing his head, he declared, “I go where you go.”
“But,” I finally added, only to scowl at the top of his head as he continued to bow. Annoyed, I muttered, “Hey, excuse me. I don’t want your obligation.”
He lifted his chin, his eyes probing. “Then you have my devotion. I go where you go.”
Growing even more irritated because he still didn’t understand, I merely sniffed.
He winced, his eyes filling with shame and regret. But he kept staring at me, letting me see all his remorse. No longer blocking his feelings, he let me experience the misery within him.
“I have nothing left,” he rasped. “No father I misguidedly want to impress. No sister to protect. No mother. Nothing.” He seemed to wilt before me. “You don’t have to trust me. You don’t have to accept me. You don’t even have to acknowledge my presence. But from this moment forward, I go where you go. I am your servant, my lady. Always.”
When he knelt before me in a show of respect, bowing his head and showing the ultimate sign of submission and servitude, a twinge of disappointment pinged through my chest.
Because I didn’t want him to be a servant. A follower. A damn slave. I wanted a life partner, someone I could trust and confide in and lean on, someone I could love and touch and accept.
Why did he not seem to get that?
Snorting bitterly in order to hide my discontent, I sent him a hard glare and muttered, “You still haven’t figured it out yet, but whatever.”
I turned away, letting him follow if he so desired but not outright granting him approval to do so. Setting my attention on Indigo, I nodded. “Lead the way, Moast.”
He’d been watching Farrow steadily. But at my comment, he met my gaze and respectfully inclined his head. Since we had no possessions left to gather, we started off at once, Indy sticking by my side and Farrow trailing a ways behind.
I could feel him back there, watching me. My body heated with—with—something. Shame, maybe. How could I let him follow like a lowly no one when he was my true love? It felt unnatural. But then I wanted to curl into a ball and cry whenever I thought of how much faith and love I’d put into wooing him, only to have it all shoved back in my face with lies.
He’d hurt me.
I hated how I’d so openly and impulsively given him all the power to destroy me like that. I felt like a fool and an idiot. I wasn’t sure if I could ever soften toward him again. If I could ever truly soften like that for anyone.
So, I just continued marching steadily forward through the trees beside Indy, stewing over the contradictory feelings stirring through me.
Next to me, Indigo was unnaturally silent. Casting a look behind us to check on Farrow, he discreetly cleared his throat and folded his arms over his chest before he quietly announced, “As far as humble, I-royally-fucked-up speeches go, his wasn’t a bad one.”
I shot him a harsh glance. “Are you kidding me right now?”
He blinked innocently. “What?”
“He has absolutely no clue whatsoever about love and trust or anything to do with his own freaking soul mate. The idiot thinks I still hate him and planned on leaving him forever in those woods. And now he wants to be my freaking servant, not my equal. I mean, what the hell?”
“Well, you did chain him—”
“And, okay, yes,” I rattled on, ignoring him. “I am mad at him, and I plan to stay mad for quite a while, but all couples have tiffs. Disagreements. Yet, he believes I want nothing to do with him at all or would only settle for a damn slave at this point. I mean, what a complete—a complete—”
“Male?” Indigo guessed on a shrug. “Because, honestly, I had no idea that was the basis of whatever lesson this is you want him to learn, either.”
I glared his way.
He shrugged, unrepentant. “I’m not saying I’d forgive him today or anything. If it were me, I’d make him grovel for at least a good week. Maybe two. A moon cycle, tops.”
My mouth dropped open. “You’ve lost your damn mind.” I couldn’t believe he was siding with Farrow on this. I thought the two men couldn’t even stand each other. “This isn’t about forgiveness.”
I was completely prepared to forgive him for everything as soon as he realized lies were bad and trust was good.
But Indigo easily countered, “Of course, it is. Whenever you decide to forgive him enough to explain to him everything he did wrong to begin with, all this will be over.” Indigo gave a decisive nod. “He’ll fall into line, and you two will live happily ever after.”
With a sigh, I folded my arms stiffly over my chest. “You really are impossible, Indy.”
He merely shrugged. “He’s your one true love, my lady. The mark recognized him as such. And then you yourself fell for him, all on your own.”
When I sent him a sharp glance of surprise, he grinned.
“Yeah, it’s written all over your face. You love the idiot. You know it, I know it, the mark knows it. And the mark is never wrong. You can try to hold on to your anger and hurt all you want, but the mark is never wrong. You’re only putting off the inevitable here, you know.”
I hugged myself, feeling awful and alone, not sure what to do, what I should do. Thinking about Farrow wasn’t supposed to cause me so much torment. Love wasn’t supposed to hurt.
I truly hated this.
“I don’t want to talk about it anymore,” I told Indigo in no uncertain terms. I still felt like too much of a fool for not getting my own soul mate to love me enough to be completely honest with me.
Indigo nodded, complying, though he probably knew he didn’t need to press the matter. He’d planted the seed in my head; he knew it would grow and fester, forcing me to think about it and make a level-headed decision.
“Isn’t it amazing how truly inept Far Shore knights are,” he said, suitably changing the subject. “I mean, we defeated them with an apple cart.” He snorted out a laugh. “A damn apple cart.”
I sighed and corrected him, “You mean, a grumpacker cart.”
The three of us made camp that night at the edge of the Back Forest. Since none of us had had time to grab our packs of supplies in Blayton before escaping, we used the lightning from the magical wrist guards to start a fire over some kindling, and we ate game that Farrow had caught somehow by hand. Then Indigo got us some water he’d found in a nearby brook, and we supped quietly together.
When it came time to sleep, I started to tear the petticoats of my dress so the men would have some form of blankets and coverage, but they both immediately nixed that idea, refusing to let me part with any more warmth I could keep to myself. So we hovered close to the fire and fell into fitful sleeps on cold beds of dried, dead leaves.
Farrow passed out first, having had the hardest day. Exhaustion bore down on him and sucked him under against his will. When I finally joined him in rest, I was dragged into the throne room back in his father’s castle, right at the moment his sister was murdered.
I experienced her death in first person, helping her cover her throat with my own hands and watching her life force drain from between my fingers. It was my own mouth I used to kiss her, desperate to bring her back. And it was my confusion and loss when it didn’t work.
And then it all happened again, playing in repeat. Sable died a dozen times, before suddenly, the body I was trying to save was my own, my throat torn open from the river monster. But this time, when Farrow kissed me, I remained dead.
A hand shook my shoulder roughly.
I bolted upright with a gasp.
Indigo kneeled beside me, looking concerned. “You were weeping in your sleep,” he reported quietly.
I lifted a hand to my throat, almost expecting it to be flayed open. But the flesh was perfectly unmarred. Panting out the last vestiges of fear, I told him, “I’m fine. It wasn’t my nightmare.”
Together, we glanced toward Farrow. He remained lying on the ground, but his eyes were open as he watched us from haunted eyes.
My heart wept for the broken man.
“It wasn’t your fault,” I told him. “You tried everything possible to save her. I saw it. There was nothing else you could do.”
I was about to remind him he had saved me—one out of three was better than zero out of three—but he merely turned onto his other side to face away from us.
I opened my mouth and started to move toward him, but Indigo caught my arm. When I met his gaze, he shook his head, staying me with a wince that said, Not yet. Farrow wasn’t ready to let me comfort him in his grief.
And that’s what hurt most of all. My own partner couldn’t open up to me.
31
Farrow
We reached the destination that Indigo led us to—a cottage on the beach—early the next evening. The other two had let me trail along silently behind them throughout the day, and I was grateful for that.
I felt raw. Exposed. I didn’t know how to deal with any of this. So I just kept it all contained inside myself.
Glad to not think about my pain for a while, I examined the small but finely built home in front of us and then moved my gaze out to the sea.
All my life, I’d lived within a day’s ride from the shore, and yet I’d never been here before.
“It’s so massive,” Nicolette murmured, coming up beside me so she could study the scenery as well. “Water as far as the eye can see. I never imagined it’d be like this.”
I sent her a questioning glance before realizing the sand princess who’d lived her entire life in the center of the Outer Realms wouldn’t have gotten to see such a sight before either, would she?
Holding in the urge to take her hand and squeeze warmly as we experienced this moment together, I returned my attention to the horizon, where the sky was a riot of brilliant color, from oranges, pinks, and purples to azure blue. A masterpiece for the eye.
A sense of peace stole over me against my will. I was still here, breathing, and so was Nicolette. That had to mean something. There had to be a purpose to it all.
“Makes you wonder what’s on the other side, doesn’t it?” I murmured, speaking of the surf.
Nicolette met my eye and snickered. “Probably more water.”
I nodded. “But where does it all go? If it just drops off into nothingness, wouldn’t the sea drain dry after a while?”
She frowned as if becoming curious about that very thing when Indigo stepped between us. “It leads back around to Near Shore,” he said. “Because the planet we’re on is round. Not flat.” Then he kept going, motioning us to follow. “Come. Meet someone who can tell you all about that.”
I glanced toward Nicolette. “Planet?” What the devil was a planet? Some weird plant-like substance? Suddenly, all I could picture was a gigantic philodendron bush, where we were but ant-sized insects, dwelling on a single, enormous green leaf.
Planet, my ass.
Nicolette merely shrugged. “He always has the oddest names for things. Did I ever tell you what he said his version of a page was?”
“I can only imagine,” I said dryly.
In front of us, Nicolette’s bodyguard knocked his fist against the door to the cottage. We paused behind him, waiting with interest to see who would respond.
A minute later, a deep accented voice called, “Who’s there?”
“It’s Indigo. Of House Moast. From High Cliff.”
“Indiana?” The door flew open and a dark, hulking man filled the entrance; he might’ve even been taller than the mage, Mydera. Upon seeing Indigo, the giant shouted in greeting, a wide grin splitting across his broad face as he swooped out the door to catch Indigo in a bone-crushing hug that pulled him off his feet. “Well, son of a bitch. Indiana Jones! It really is you. God damn, boy, how long’s it been?”
He set the High Clifter down so the two could shake hands as they stepped apart again.
“Six or seven years, I’d say,” Indigo replied with an easy smile. “Before the tension between our two kingdoms rose, anyway.”
“Bah.” The owner of the cottage sniffed and rolled his eyes. “Politics is stupid, no matter where you live, you know. Some country’s always incensed about something another country’s doing wrong. No one can ever just get along.”
“Truer words have never been spoken,” Indigo agreed softly.
The two nodded solemnly before they seemed to realize Nicolette and I stood there, waiting for them to get their reception out of the way.
“Oh, hey. You brought friends with you this time. Well, don’t let me keep you standing out here on the porch. Get your lily-white ass inside, boy. And bring your posse with you.”
Indigo stepped through the doorway, and Nicolette followed, with me bringing up the rear. Once we trooped in, our host shut the door and slapped Indigo on the arm. “So what’s shaking, man? You got any news from the motherland for me?” He eyed Nicolette, then me. “Have more Replacements come through?”
Next to me, Nicolette stirred. “Replacements?” she repeated, glancing at me.
Recalling that Replacement was the term she’d told me about, where Indigo claimed people were transported into the Outer Realms from another land, I lifted my eyebrows and refocused on the large man with renewed interest.
“No. No Replacements,” Indigo was saying. “Actually, uh.” He winced. “We need help.”
“Help?” The big man glanced at Nicolette and me again.
“Yeah, uh…” Indy cringed and rubbed the back of his neck. “Maybe I should introduce everyone first. Guys, this is Bison. He, uh, he’s not from the Outer Realms.”
Though I was expecting him to say something to that effect, it still blew my mind.
Baldly, I asked, “Where’re you supposed to be from, then?”
“Earth,” Bison answered with a proud grin. “Third rock from the sun, baby.”
I shook my head, slowly. “Never heard of it.”
This day just kept getting stranger and stranger. Now, I was learning that people not only lived on plants but rocks, too. Bizarre.
“He’s one of the most recent Replacements to come through,” Indigo explained. “He arrived here eighteen years ago from…” He glanced toward Bison. “Tahiti, was it?”
Growing solemn, the tall man nodded. “Yep, got sucked here with my boat’s captain, Bert, who didn’t make it through the initial journey alive, and my girl, Serena, but she and I split a couple years back.” He blew out a long, sad whistle. “So I haven’t seen her in about five years.” He lifted sad eyes to the princess. “It was a pretty nasty break.”
Nicolette, bleeding heart that she was, reached out to touch his arm. “I’m so sorry to hear that.”
Bison nodded as if it were no big deal, though he stepped closer to her as if seeking comfort and placed his big hand on top of hers. “She got one of those fancy tattoos like you have there, found her true love, and ran off with him. I’ve been alone ever since.”
“How terrible.”
“It is,” Bison agreed, melting right into her personal space as if he were trying to—
Hey!
Realizing he was making a play for my soul mate, I cleared my throat. Loudly. When the big man glanced my way, I arched censorious eyebrows, silently
warning him away.
He seemed to understand he was encroaching on the wrong territory, because he immediately dropped his hand from Nicolette’s and shifted a respectful step back.
A brief, uncomfortable silence filled the cottage. I risked a look toward Nicolette just as she shifted her nervous, flushed gaze my way. Immediately, we both turned away again.
Next to us, Indigo cleared his throat. “So…” He tried to continue but didn’t get any further than that because the ass was too busy grinning and trying not to laugh.
“Yeah,” Bison seemed to agree, waving us past the moment. “But never mind that. I never got your names.”
“Oh. This is Nicolette,” Indigo said. “The princess of Donnelly.”
Bison’s dark eyebrows shot sky high. “Princess?” he repeated. “You mean, that princess?”
“Yes.” Indigo answered. “And this…” He hitched his head my way. “Is Farrow, from here in Far Shore. He was tasked with the duty of kidnapping Nicolette and bringing her to King Torrance for, well, any number of unpleasantries. But things happened along the way, and he decided to save her instead, murder the king himself, and help us return to Donnelly.”
“Damn, Indiana Jones.” Bison whistled in awe and set his hands on his hips, nodding slowly. “You just find yourself saddled to one adventure after another, don’t you? I swear, I’m going to get you a fedora, whip, and leather jacket one of these days.”
Nicolette leaned toward me, whispering, “What in God’s name is he talking about? And why does he keep calling Indigo Indiana Jones?”
I shrugged, absolutely lost by the entire conversation.
Bison turned to me, considering me from head to toe. “So you’re the Bastard Betrayer, huh?”
I blinked, not expecting to hear that title all this way from Blayton. “Excuse me?”
Bison confirmed that I’d heard him right, explaining, “Word travels fast out here to these parts. We learned the king was gone by noon yesterday.” Shaking his head, he added, “Can’t say as I’ll mourn the old jackass. He never messed with me personally, but he definitely put the dick in dictator, if you know what I mean.”