“No, that’s where you're wrong. I was there in that clearing. Sage, Matt, and I knew there was no way out of it. We were prepared to die fighting to keep you safe, but you saved us all. I am a weak man, and I’m not ashamed to admit that to you. My body is strong, my wolf is fierce, my vampire cunning, and my beast unstoppable, but you have trumped all of that. Your power isn’t mystical or even magical. It’s in the way you love.
“You have shown me even a man, who believed himself incapable of love, can love to a degree, he would give his own life to feel one more second of its touch. That’s all because of you, Danica. I have to wonder though, can you forgive me for my transgressions, can we build on this, or do I need to let you go? I fear your upcoming heat is clouding your mind, just as I had planned, and in the end, you will figure out I’m not worthy of such devotion and care. I already know I’m not worthy of your tears.”
Danica got up from his lap, and he let her go immediately, missing her warmth and weight. But if she decided he wasn’t enough for her, Atticus needed to start letting her go, and this was just a small start in making that happen.
Danica paced several times before turning to him, wetness from her tears still dotting her eyes, but he also saw a fierce determination in them.
“My heat is not yet upon me, Atticus. As you well know, my mind is entirely my own and intact as are my feelings. I don’t deny fate may have a hand in increasing them, but they are still all mine. Your research into a female’s heat must have been lacking. I will concede when the full moon is high within the sky, I am consumed with lust. But,” Danica said, pointing to the sky, “as you can see, that hasn’t happened yet.”
She stepped a couple paces and turned around again.
“Another thing. All these qualities you profess are mine, do you not see them in yourself, Atticus?”
When he went to speak, she held up her little hand, and he couldn’t help the smile that formed on his lips. His mate was fierce and breathtakingly beautiful when she was angered.
“I wasn’t sure if I had totally forgiven you yet, but the truth is, I forgave you days ago. Seeing that man take over that boys’ body only enforced that. The life you have led and the things you have done shaped you, and it shows true courage you were still willing to find a way out. At any time, you could have chosen your Master’s way, and yet you didn’t.”
“It took a long time for that to happen, Danica. I told you before, I’m not a good man and doubt I ever will be.”
“We are going to have to agree to disagree on that point, mate, because what I see in you is a good man. Don’t get me wrong, you have your faults, but I think over time, I can manage to train you into the man I need.”
The bright smile on her face showed she was teasing him, and he liked it. This lighthearted banter had been missing from his life for so long. He, Sage, and Killian had joked around from time to time, but their lives were always in a state of peril, so there wasn’t much if any.
Atticus got up from the log and stalked Danica.
“You think to train me, little wolf?”
She smiled at him and nodded her head but turned away and started to run, giggling along the way. The sound alone cleansed him. He would die a thousand deaths or pay millions of dollars just to hear that giggle for the rest of his life. He allowed her to run for a short time before racing after her, catching her easily with an arm around her waist, lifting her from the ground.
“Maybe it’s me who needs to train you? My little wolf seems to like to get into a lot of trouble.” He tickled her side, making her laugh harder and continued until she yelled for him to stop, in between laughing.
Setting her down on, Atticus turned her in his arms, bending his head, allowing her a second to deny his intent. When she brushed her hand against his cheek, then weaved it into his hair, pulling him forward, he kissed her, long and slow at first, then quickly turning heated, their tongues dancing, exploring every crevice. Danica’s moan of appreciation was music to his ears, his own in return spurring her to hold him tighter, pulling him closer, nipping at his lip when he drew even the slightest bit away from her plump lips.
Unable to resist, he allowed his hands to explore her back and bottom, bringing her closer to feel the hard length of him against her stomach, the friction almost enough for him to cum like an untested youth. The moment was gone way too soon for either of them when Matt cleared his throat. It was time to leave, the moment gone, but Atticus hoped it was just one of many to come.
Chapter 18
Today was the day, her heat had been building all morning and afternoon. When the sun went down, she knew it would only be minutes before it hit her full force. For the first time in her life, she wasn’t scared which surprised her, but in reality, it should. This would be the first time she would act on all the urges she had suffered through for so many years. She wasn’t oblivious exactly, she had read books and knew kind of what to expect, but even Emily had laughed at her fanciful thoughts, as she called them, when Dani explained how she wanted her first experience to go. Maybe they were, but a part of her had always dreamed. She could only hope it went half as well as some of her stories.
Then again, that depended on her wayward mate actually coming to her. They had gotten closer, talking more and more, discovering new things about each other every day, but Atticus was still holding back even after all her reassurances. Dani knew he was still trying to do the right thing which irritated her somewhat. She wished he would just take her word for the heat not affecting her feelings, but she had decided a couple of days ago, only time would show him, and she could live with that.
They hadn’t made it to Eclectic yet. Atticus could flash but didn’t feel comfortable flashing with Dani, then leaving her alone, undefended until he could bring Matt and Sage. Sage could also flash, but she had weakened even more since the attack from the coven and couldn’t cover much of a distance—It drained her to even try. Atticus had told Dani it was because she hadn’t fed. Dani had offered Sage her blood, but the vampire refused, and there was no arguing with the woman once she made her mind up, Dani discovered. Matt, on the other hand, absolutely refused to let Atticus or Sage flash with him at all.
Dani admitted flashing took some getting used to, it wasn’t natural for a Were, but it was a means to an end, and she accepted it easily. After some time, she was even becoming comfortable with the Vampire mode of transportation. Matt would just scoff and say it was unnatural. Dani thought maybe he didn’t like being seen as weak in Sage’s eyes because there was no gathering one’s self quickly after flashing.
Dani did have to give Matt credit though. She had noticed her packmate had changed during this journey. He was milder, not as arrogant and proud. Most of the time, she would find him deep in thought, but when she asked him about it, he wouldn’t say anything. He was also kinder, going out for water or food for them, bringing it back without a word, only to wander off again, always keeping Sage in his sights. Something was brewing between the two of them, Dani was sure of that.
What she wasn’t so sure of was how tonight would go. They all knew they couldn’t travel tonight, it would be impossible with her in that state, so Atticus had been scouting ahead and found a beautiful area for them to rest for the night. It even had a small hunting cabin on the property, complete with a working shower and a generator filled with fuel. It was nice to get out of the elements for a while and just be semi-normal, doing normal things.
As Sage slept, Dani worked around the cabin, cleaning it and herself, even finding some clothing she was able to wash out and dry. She wouldn’t need them later, but for now, it felt nice to wear something other than the nightgown. Atticus had a different thought when he saw her in the strange clothes. He had actually growled at her, then rubbed up against her until she was once again covered in his scent before kissing her, saying he needed to make sure the coven hadn’t gotten any closer, and they were safe for the night.
she knew Matt had disappeared late in the afternoon
because of her heat. Any full-grown wolf would react to it and heed her call. But she felt terrible just the same for driving him out into the wild. As the sun started to drop, Dani’s skin began to heat and tingle. She had been sitting on the porch, and Sage brought her a bowl of cool water and a washcloth.
“Are you okay?”
“I don’t know,” Dani laughed, “tonight everything changes.”
“What do you mean?”
“If we complete the mating tonight, my life as I have always known it no longer exists. It’s a lot to take in.”
“If you don’t want this to happen, Dani, I will defend you and make sure Atticus and everyone else stays away. You don’t have to fear being taken without your consent just because your body is demanding it. I will guard you, I swear this on my life. No one should be taken against their will—ever.”
Sage, in all her beauty, was standing beside her, the strong warrior woman Dani knew her to be. Even in her weakened state, she knew Sage would do just as she had said. She also knew terrible things had happened to Sage. She had often seen the same look the Vampire had in her red-rimmed eyes in Emily’s after she came of age and Marcus decided to take her as his consort.
Dani took Sage’s hand and pulled her down to sit next to her.
“It’s not that. I know Atticus would never force me or take what is not freely offered.”
“But he...”
“Sage, no. I know he said those things, but I don’t believe he would have ever been able to act on them, do you?”
“I hoped he wouldn’t, but you have to understand how we live, Danica. It isn’t with a pack or family. The coven is cold and hard, brutal at the best of times, harsh at the worst. We learned early on to take what we needed or wanted because it would never be given. Atti tries to be a good man, but we are the product of our Master.”
Dani understood what Sage was saying and her fear, but Dani knew she was right. She also was starting to loathe the revelations about their existence before now. Not because she didn’t want to be supportive or help them in any way she could, but because she wanted to kill Bane and had even started to dream of different ways to make that happen as painfully as possible. But Sage needed some reassurances right now.
“Has he said anything in our travels about the ritual he had hoped to perform? Have you seen anything that would indicate he can’t control himself? You haven’t, have you? Even now, he is patrolling to make sure we’re safe.”
“I know you’re right, and I want to believe it, but I’ve heard stories of females in heat, and Dani, neither of them will be able to resist your call.”
Ah, there was another part of Sage’s worry—Matt. These two had a battle in front of them that had nothing to do with the coven or the pack, they would be fighting each other. Dani just hoped, in the end, they both came out winners, but she feared the battle would be uphill and long.
“I don’t know how to explain it. If you haven’t been through it, you would never understand. Matt and the others of my pack have been around through many heats, and I can tell you they don’t indulge unless invited.”
“But how do you know? You said you sequester yourself away. How do you know for sure they, no, sorry,” Sage said quickly changing her words, "Atticus will stay away?"
“I didn’t have anyone to teach me about the heat. My parents died before I was old enough to have my first one. The only other female pack mate I have is Emily, and she isn’t precisely approachable to ask questions. So, there have been times when I was caught in the throes, and the males of the pack have been around. None of them touched me, Sage, regardless of the pull or even me begging for relief. They knew my wishes and dreams and protected them the best they could.
“As for Atticus, I think even right now, he’s avoiding me and this area to preserve my honor, in some way. But I’m ready, I promise, just a little fearful. I’ve never done this before.”
“Never done this before?” Sage questioned, a perplexed look on her face.
“I’m a virgin, I’ve never had sex. Add to that mating sex. This one act, this one night will change everything—my life and my future.”
“Damn, talk about a monumental first time,” Sage kind of laughed.
“Yeah, I know, but here’s the thing. Regardless of the changes or my future, I want it, and I want it to be with my mate. Atticus has become everything to me in such a short time. It doesn’t even seem possible in my own mind, but it’s there just the same.”
“Well then,” Sage stood up and held her hand out to Dani, “I guess we better get your ready for your magical life-changing night.”
“What exactly are we supposed to do to get me ready?”
“I’m not sure,” Sage said, shrugging her shoulders. “But I guess we could maybe pick some flowers and put them in your hair or something, or I could braid your hair. I’m sorry, Dani, I’m not the woman you need right now. Sex isn’t something I like or want to talk about. For me, it’s different. No magic comes with the act, it’s just a need, and most times, the need isn’t mine. But I want to make this special for both of you in some way beyond just guarding the perimeter to make sure you're safe. I want to believe Atticus can have the future I’ve always dreamed of with a person as kind and loving as you.”
“Oh, Sage…”
“No, don’t feel sorry for me. I’m well aware of the fact the future the two of you will have doesn’t happen for Vampire, but in a small way, I want to believe if you can have it, you’ll allow me to share in it in some way.” Then she quickly added, “The future, not the sex. Nope, that’s all you. Get your groove thing on and go for it. But if you produce a child, whether it be cub, Vampire, or even hybrid, know I would be honored to love, care, and protect them as my family for the rest of my days. You as well, little sister.”
Dani couldn’t resist. She hugged Sage, squeezing her until the other woman relaxed and returned the gesture.
“I would be honored to have you in my family, Sage, but you’re wrong, Vampire are capable of having everything you have wished for Atticus and me, even children. I’m not going to say it’s easy, but it is possible. Your biggest obstacle is Bane. Once you’re out from under his control, you’ll see. I can promise you, dear friend.”
“I don’t know, Danica, I don’t think I’m made for a happily ever after.”
“I don’t know if I am either, mine all depends on Atticus. But I’ll tell you this. Whether he comes to me tonight or the next full moon or never, I won’t give up hope of having everything I have ever wanted and neither should you.”
Chapter 19
Atticus stepped into the clearing. He had felt precisely where Danica was all along but had kept his distance, trying to do the right thing. His feelings had grown for her so much, he wanted her to want this but was still hesitant. All the reassurances hadn’t mattered. He didn’t deserve her and doubted he ever would. Danica was unique, beyond exceptional, and he was a monster—a real beauty and the beast story. He had been fighting the pull of her heat since late afternoon, but it was at its epicenter now, and Danica couldn’t do it on her own anymore.
He watched her for mere moments. It was drizzling, and Danica was pacing back and forth, arms tightly clenched around her center, talking to herself. Not all of Atticus’ senses had come back to him yet, so he only caught a couple of words here and there, but he got the gist of it. Danica was giving herself a pep talk, saying she needed to be strong, and she could get through this by herself if she needed to, just like she had so many times before, but Atticus could see the pain etched on her face.
He wanted to go to her, but he also didn’t. He knew he could make this better, but Atticus needed her to want it, to accept him as he did her. It didn’t matter what Matt or Sage had said to him, the only thing that mattered was how Danica felt. He was still a monster, and she was still an angel, but she was changing him slowly, just by being around him. Those changes were a double-edged sword as far as Atticus was concerned. He cared for her more tha
n he thought possible. If she asked him to go right now, he would leave and never look back. But she hadn’t asked that yet, and he was thankful. Even if he just got only a few more days with her, Atticus would accept that.
Danica stopped pacing and looked up at him, lust from her heat burning in her eyes. He knew he couldn’t take the heat away, not without mating with her, but he could help ease the pain and lust.
“Danica. Come. Here,” Atticus demanded. He would never go against her wishes and force something on her she didn’t want like he had thought before, but he could make this better. When she slowly began to move closer, Atticus was hit with the full force of her heat—if he were a weaker man, it would have taken him to his knees. How had she been hiding this for so long? Danica was almost at her peak, the need she felt overwhelming. When their eyes locked, the desire they both had been restraining erupted into the air. There was something else in her, gleaming from the brilliant copper eyes—acceptance maybe, Atticus couldn’t really tell.
Her hands were gripping the fabric of her soaking wet t-shirt so tightly, the damp cloth molded to her perfect breasts. As she came closer, Atticus’ eyes were instantly drawn to the rigid peaks of her nipples, and he felt the last straw of his control dissolve. He knew she was still uncertain, anyone would be in her situation. His motives since they had met hadn’t been good, but she needed him, and he wasn’t going to deny her any longer.
“Atticus, I…” Danica started to say, but Atticus stopped her, taking her into her arms.
“Shh, I have you, little wolf,” he murmured, “let me make you feel better, let me help you get through this.” He knew she felt the hard length of him pressed up against her belly. The small moan and firmer press of her body confirmed she wanted him. Atticus smiled. As good as it felt, his dick wouldn’t be getting any action this night. This was all for Danica.
Dirt Road Redemption (Dirt Road Series Book 2) Page 13