The situation was wrong on every level and he knew it. He wasn’t sure how to extricate himself from the mess he’d created.
Kendall knew about Erica but never discussed it. She didn’t ask questions or make him feel bad.
Her calm lack of judgment made it worse.
A couple of months after they started sleeping together, Jared and Erica passed Kendall in the hallway at school. As usual, the blonde had her body draped over him.
Meeting Kendall’s eyes, his initial instinct was to shove Erica off but he didn’t. They kept walking, his arm slung around her shoulders as he pretended his real lover didn’t exist…much less matter.
Later, he tried to talk to Kendall about it. “If I look celibate, everyone will wonder what the fuck is going on with me.”
Even as the words left his mouth, he felt shame. It was nothing more than an excuse to ease his own mind. The truth was simple.
He was a coward.
Hurt flashed across her face but was quickly gone. “It doesn’t matter, Jared.”
It mattered and both of them knew it.
Off-balance, he tried to change his words, to justify his disloyalty to her. Kendall silenced him with a kiss, placing his hands over her breasts.
He took her offering like a lifeline. He spent hours worshipping her body and doing everything he could to please her.
Anything to wash away his guilt.
In her presence, he felt like the man he was supposed to be. Away from her, he followed the crowd and did what everyone else did.
Kendall didn’t date anyone else. She told him their original deal didn’t include him being faithful and she’d never asked him for that. She reminded Jared they weren’t a couple.
The sense of cheating on her didn’t go away.
Thirty yards away, Jared watched her emerge between the pillars into the parking lot and his heart slammed against his sternum. She wore jeans and a t-shirt, running shoes on her feet. A light jacket guarded her from the spring chill. Her hair was in a ponytail, swinging as she walked.
Kendall was beautiful, vibrant.
As she climbed up into the warm cab, he pulled her to him greedily the moment the door closed behind her. His mouth worked over hers and he marveled at his sense of desperation.
After more than a minute, he gathered her in a tight hug. “Thank you for coming. I missed you, wanted to see you. I don’t want to get you in trouble.”
Against his face, he felt her shake her head. Her arms held him back just as hard and he had the strangest urge to ask her to run away with him. What would she say if he told her to forget everything and drive away together?
“Jared…”
He leaned back to look into her green eyes and opened his mouth to tell her more than he’d ever told a girl before. She kissed him silent, held him with all of her.
Even the parts that couldn’t be held.
Pushing him against his door, she worked his cock from his jeans. Then she went down on him, sucked him deep, and he was lost. It was a skill she’d perfected over their time together and he knew he wouldn’t last.
Seeing her mouth work over his length was too much. Faster than he wanted, he whispered, “I can’t take it…”
Her moan in response made him cup her head in his hands. He stroked his fingers over silken black hair pulled away from her face. Then he came and she took what he offered, sighing softly when he was spent.
Lifting her away, he pulled her up his body and held her close. “You didn’t have to do that.”
Against his neck, she murmured, “I wanted to. I enjoy it as much as you do.”
The statement made him chuckle. “Impossible, Kendall.” Just holding her, rubbing her back, as his body returned to earth felt amazing. “I want to make you come.”
“You’ll see me tomorrow…”
“No. It’s too long to wait.” Keeping her on top of him, he turned her to the side and slid his hand over her breast and down her torso. “I need to touch you.”
Their eyes met. He didn’t look away as he unsnapped her jeans and slid his hand beneath the band of her panties. She was smooth, warm, and wet.
He knew what she liked and in seconds, her breath panted rapidly through full lips. “You’re beautiful, Kendall.”
“So are you, Jared.”
Slowly, carefully, he pushed her up and over the edge of climax, keeping an eye on the parking lot around them. Being caught in such a scenario would humiliate her. He didn’t want that.
As she came, she sighed his name into the quiet of the truck. Keeping his hand where it was, cupping her warm folds, he kissed her for a long time.
The public location meant they couldn’t remain exposed. They pulled their clothing together and she snuggled against him, her head on his chest.
Warm, satisfied, and relaxed, they dozed off.
* * *
It was full dark when a light tap on the glass behind Jared’s head startled him awake. Scrambling up, he was shocked to see his father standing on the other side of the driver’s door window.
The big man smiled and motioned for him to roll down the window. Gary Stalzer was the county sheriff and his patrol SUV was parked in the space beside them.
Slightly shorter than Jared with a barrel chest, his dad was a good man who liked to laugh.
He opened the window with a sheepish grin. “Hey, Dad.”
“Son. You can’t sleep here.”
“I know. It was an accident.”
“Your mom was worried. Tired of the mob at the house?”
Jared nodded. “Did she call you?”
“Earlier. I was doing rounds and saw your truck. I wanted to make sure you were okay when I could only see the top of your head through the window.”
“We were talking and dozed off. This is Kendall.” Only when the words were out did Jared wonder what his father thought since his parents had met Erica several times.
Glancing past him, Gary took in Kendall’s profile. “Nice to meet you Kendall.”
She murmured inaudibly with a nod but kept her face down. Jared imagined she was incredibly embarrassed.
“Take the young lady home and I’ll let your mom know you’re okay. A couple more days and the family will be gone.” With a big smile, he added, “You’re welcome to hang out at our house anytime, Kendall. It’s better than here and we have snacks.” He winked at Jared and turned to walk back to his vehicle. “Make sure she gets home safe, son.”
“I will, Dad.” Rolling up the window, he took Kendall’s hand and realized she was trembling. He gave her a gentle squeeze. “Don’t worry. My parents are both pretty amazing.”
She inhaled deeply. “I-I’m sure they are. I’m going to head home.”
“Let me drop you off…”
“No. Come by tomorrow after you finish practice.” She went up on her knees to kiss him deeply. It was so much more intense than their usual kisses and he wanted her so bad that his bones ached. “I’ll see you then.”
“I’d rather drive you to your street at least.”
“I’m okay. See you tomorrow.”
She got out and walked rapidly back the way she’d come. He didn’t like how upset she seemed to be.
He watched until she was out of sight with his hands on the steering wheel. Starting the engine, he drove to her street. He was never at her house so late but he wanted to make sure she made it home.
Watching her duck around the side of the house to her personal space, he glanced at the dark upper floors.
Even as he had the thought, a light went on in a second floor bedroom. There were no cars in the driveway but he figured her parents parked in the garage.
A moment later, he received a text saying she made it and would see him the next day.
Aloud, he murmured, “Goodnight, Kendall.”
His heart felt strangely heavy as he drove home.
Chapter Three
The following day, Jared thought school was never going to fucking end. He counted
the minutes until he’d be able to see Kendall, be with her, touch her.
His friends still casually mocked her funky clothes and hairstyles. Jared made sure it wasn’t when she might overhear them. They weren’t malicious but their judgments of her made his gut tighten in dread.
Ignoring each other outside her bedroom had originally been her idea. He’d gone alone with it because it gave him what he thought was the perfect arrangement.
Several times throughout the school day, they passed each other in the hall. Suddenly, Jared knew it was wrong to ignore her. It had been from the very beginning.
He’d been a fool.
Before lunch, Erica tried to interact with him several times but he wasn’t interested. When she tried to grab his dick, he was done.
Only Kendall had the right to touch him.
“I’m done, Erica.” At the stricken look on her face, he added, “I’m sorry. This isn’t working for me.”
“Not working for you? What could you possibly want that I don’t provide?” Her voice was shrill and louder than he liked.
At that moment, Kendall walked out of her chemistry class and he stared at her over Erica’s shoulder. “You don’t have anything I want. I’m sorry but that’s how it is.”
Kendall put her head down and walked down the hall.
Erica ran to the closest restroom and by the time Jared made it to the cafeteria, the entire school was buzzing with the gossip. People talked in whispered tones about what she might have done to make him break up with her.
“Sometimes, shit just doesn’t work. It’s no one’s fault,” he snapped at one of his teammates as he sat at their regular table. “I wasn’t feeling it.”
Across the room, he met Kendall’s eyes. She looked like she was on the verge of tears.
He stood, fully intending to walk across the crowded room and claim her as his girl in front of the entire school. She grabbed her bag, left her tray, and ran from the cafeteria.
In the main hall, there was no sign of her. Jared didn’t catch a single glimpse of her the rest of the day.
Stress coiled in his gut.
After school, the members of the graduating varsity team practiced with underclassmen. His patience was stretched thin and it was the last place he wanted to be.
Finished at last, he hit the showers. His friends waited beside his truck to talk to him.
Slade asked warily, “Jared…you okay, man?”
“I’m fine. Why?” The irritation in Jared’s voice was hard to hide.
“No reason. You just seem like you might be going through some stuff. Acting different and shit.” Tommy looked nervous about saying anything.
“Dude,” Big Country weighed in, “You dumped your girl on like, a whim.”
“It wasn’t a whim.” Jared threw his gear in the cab. “Look. I need to go. We’ll catch up later, alright? I’ll be home after seven if you want to talk.”
“Sure, Jared. Sure.” Slade gave him a mock salute. “We’ll come by your place. Just looking out for you.”
Sighing, he paused before he got behind the wheel. “I’m good, guys. I swear. Just…I need to be somewhere.”
They walked to Tommy’s car and Jared put them out of his mind. All he could think about was worshipping Kendall’s body, allowing her to worship his, and forgetting the world.
In her space, nothing existed but the two of them.
There were things he wanted to talk to her about. It was time to change their deal. He wanted to explain how he really felt about her. He’d waited way too long to tell her.
The door to her sanctuary was barely closed before Jared had her in his arms. His need to touch her stole his intentions about talking. It would have to wait.
He had her naked in seconds and worked enough of his own clothes away to free his cock. Taking a condom from his back pocket, he quickly rolled it on and took her hard against the wall with her legs wrapped around his waist.
Neither of them needed foreplay. Some days were like that.
She pulled his shirt over his head as he took her hard and ate at her mouth: giving as good as she got.
Whatever he wanted, she did.
Whatever he needed, she provided.
Kendall was beautiful, smart, and independent. She lived life on her own terms and didn’t make apologies. She was a unique fixture in his world and he couldn’t imagine his days without her in them.
She always felt, smelled, and tasted amazing. He was addicted to everything about her. Deep inside him, she’d planted seeds and they’d taken root.
Day by day, his need for her became insatiable. He couldn’t kiss her enough, touch her enough, or fuck her enough.
Jared made her come once with a strangled scream and carried her to the bed. Quickly stripping away the rest of his clothes, he flipped her to her stomach and took her hard – too hard, he worried – from behind.
Inexplicable tension rode him, a need to make her coast the boundary of pleasure and pain, a desire to claim her as his.
His stress, frustration, and guilt evaporated when he felt and heard her climax a second time. Fear he didn’t understand left him in a rush.
There was only Kendall.
She was his woman. She’d been his from the start but he’d been too dumb to see it, to appreciate what she gave him.
Settling on his heels, he brought her back to his chest and held her gently. One hand across her ribcage, he cupped her breast on the opposite side. His other hand drifted over the soft skin of her stomach and smoothed over her mound. His finger stroked through her cleft.
Kendall’s arm lifted over her head so she could stroke her fingers through his hair and hold the back of his neck. Her other hand rested on his hip, kneading the muscle. Silken hair fell around them, adding another layer of erotic sensation.
Her knees rested outside his and he loved the way she felt in his arms. Her head rested on his shoulder and he kissed her neck as she rode him, lifting and lowering herself in a lazy rhythm.
It was their extreme intimacy – making love rather than fucking – that his teammates and ex-girlfriend witnessed as they busted through the unlocked basement door.
Kendall went rigid but Jared went insane. “Get the fuck out!”
He whipped the quilt over Kendall the instant he registered people intruding in a place no one else had ever been with them.
Sunlight streamed into their personal space and everything was too bright. Their illusion of being the only two people in the world was shattered.
“Oh, hell no!” Erica screeched. “You’re not cheating on me with fucking Kendall Torres.”
She put her hands on her hips and stuck her ass to the side. Even in such a situation, she felt the need to strike a pose.
Kendall kept her head turned away and he could tell she held her breath. Tremors rocked her body as a small whimper only he could hear escaped.
His friends looked stunned.
Big Country said, “She’s hot. Does she travel with the team?” It was code for the girls who didn’t mind being passed among the unattached players.
His mind went red. “All of you get the fuck out…right now. I’ll destroy every one of you if you don’t walk your asses out that door.” Jared’s voice was low and deadly.
The young men he’d played on various teams with since they were five recognized the danger. Their eyes went wide as the realization that there was more going on with the woman in Jared’s arms than they assumed settled in.
Erica started screaming. “I’ll tell the entire school about this whore. You probably got her knocked up! I bet that’s why you ditched me. Fucking figures with somebody like her.”
Big Country cupped his hand gently over her mouth and held her off the ground as he carried her out the door. The others followed and pulled the door closed behind them.
Jared would explain everything to his friends. There’d be no doubt in their minds about Kendall’s place in his life. They made a mistake but it wouldn’t happen again.
First, he had to calm down his girl.
Chapter Four
Utter silence descended as Jared and Kendall found themselves alone again. Neither said anything for almost a minute. Then she moved to lift herself from him and he held her close.
“Wait, Kendall.” That was when he felt her tears hit his forearm. “I can fix this and I will.” She shook her head, her hair sliding over his chest. “I know you’re scared but no one will hear about this. It’s going to be alright, I promise.”
“You can’t make that promise, Jared.”
“I can. I’m making it. I’ll protect you.”
There was a long pause before she whispered brokenly, “If only you could.”
Keeping his arms around her, he pulled from her body and turned her to face him. The sight of Kendall crying hit him like a fist. Tears slipped silently from under her closed lids.
Stroking his fingers from her temple to her jaw, he tried to soothe her. “I know it seems awful. I’ll make it right.” He kissed her lightly and hugged her close. “I’m so, so sorry.”
He got off the bed and took her with him. Walking into the bathroom, he disposed of the condom and stepped with her into the shower. He rinsed her body and his own before quickly drying them.
She seemed to be in shock. She didn’t look directly at him and she didn’t speak. A knot of tension formed in his gut.
“Throw some clothes on, babe. I’ll get the rest.”
He dressed fast, made her bed, and disposed of the condom wrapper. Kendall wore jeans and a soft t-shirt. She pulled her hair up in a bun on top of her head. Curling up in one of the chairs, she stared at nothing in silence.
Everything inside him screamed that he make it right and bring back her laughter and smiles. He crouched in front of the chair and touched her face, turning her to look at him.
“I’m bringing them in and I’ll handle everything.” Leaning forward, he kissed her lips and cupped the back of her neck. “Trust me, Kendall.”
“I do, Jared. It’s just not that simple.”
He felt like he was missing something but kissed the top of her head as he stood.
Dirty Little Secret: The Damaged Series - Book One Page 3