The fire was built up nice and high to keep her warm and to dry her. The closer she got to Kavanagh land, the more she dreamed of her precious daughter. In some dreams she was happy, and in some she suffered. Tomorrow she’d be at the Kavanagh ranch. As she remembered it, there were plenty of trees surrounding the home, and she’d be able to watch them from afar.
* * *
Sullivan smiled at Gail. She’d been a godsend this last year. The bright sun showed off the highlights in her dark hair, and her blue eyes were calm. He’d wanted calm and simple. She’d looked after Becca for him. Dolly had done it at first when he couldn’t take Becca with him, but with a few toddlers running around it was just too much for her.
He swallowed hard. He couldn’t think about Becca without mourning Sheila. He’d miss his love for the rest of his life. People told him that time would take care of his pain, but it hadn’t. He carried the ache within him, and it was as strong now as the day they had been notified of her death. She was buried in an unmarked grave on the prison property, they had been informed, and visitors were not permitted. People naturally thought that he and Gail… but he didn’t feel that way.
Becca ran out of the house, her long braids trailing behind her. A brown dog named Hugs followed her, making the little girl laugh. Becca looked just like Sheila, and she had the same gentle way about her. He didn’t care what anyone said; she was his daughter. Their bond was a strong one.
Gail spread out a blanket, and then she set out food. A sweet picnic before the weather got colder. He smiled his thanks to Gail, and she blushed. He’d told her that there wasn’t a future for them, but he had a feeling she didn’t believe him.
It had been hard to watch Teagan, Quinn, and Brogan all adding to their families. Brogan now had twin girls. In fact, most of the babies had been female. His other brothers seemed content to be bachelors, but one never knew…
Hugs wouldn’t be denied, and she tried to steal Becca’s food. Becca laughed and scolded the dog and then laughed again. He ran his fingers through his hair. Days like this were when he longed for Sheila, for all the special moments they could have shared.
* * *
Becca had grown and she was so beautiful and tall. She was happy, that much was obvious, and Sheila should have walked away, but she couldn’t. She lay in the tall grass at the edge of the forest and watched. The new wife was very attractive, and she laughed often with Becca. That was a good thing. If only he’d told her in a letter instead of just deserting her. She understood that he needed a woman in his life, but she’d never understand the cowardly way he broke things off with her.
Sullivan… He was as handsome as ever. Her heart cried out to his, but it went unheard. It was fine. Really it was. It was for the best. They didn’t have other children yet. It was probably her imagination, but Sullivan looked away from the woman more than he looked at her.
She was so tired. She’d gotten to where she wanted and seen Becca. It was time to go. What had happened to her property? Had they sold it? It would be too much to use up her energy getting to her old home only to find someone else living there. She lay there and watched her daughter and the man who held her heart, just resting. The longing to be part of such a picture grew immense.
Sullivan had done as she’d asked, and she’d have to be happy with that. She no longer belonged in their untainted lives. He was still a handsome man… with a few additional lines on his face. The only way she’d survived that vile place were dreams of Becca and him. They’d given her something to hold on to and it would have to be enough. It would just lead to upset and heartbreak if she revealed herself.
It seemed a long while before they packed up and went inside. When the door shut, it also shut on her dreams. But what was done was done. There wasn’t a thing she could do about it. She crawled back into the forest and made her way to her cabin… if there was one. She’d not starve, she knew every plant she walked past. She’d need to get busy picking berries and the like but…
Her house was a beautiful two-story log structure. Tears filled her eyes. They had gone ahead on their plans despite her wanting to be the one who decided. A new barn and outhouse also sat on the property.
She made herself comfortable in the woods and ate the berries she had plucked from the bushes. Such a beautiful house must have someone living in it. Losing the house had pained her. She repeated the same Psalm she’d recited at least daily for the last three years. Psalm 23. The Lord is my Shepherd…
Sitting on land that once belonged to her, maybe it still did, was surreal. Someone had taken care of the grounds around the house. Flowers had been planted. The more she looked, the more convinced she was that someone else now owned her property.
Why hadn’t Sullivan divorced her? He was an honorable man. He wouldn’t be involved with that other woman if he didn’t believe himself free, would he? Did he even think of her once in a while? No! She didn’t make it through something so horrible only to be destroyed by thinking negatively.
She needed to count her blessings and seeing Becca safe and happy had been what she’d prayed for. God was listening. There were times she wanted to just fall and die where she lay, but she always felt a surge of strength and faith in those moments and she was able to continue on. In prison, those who fell were just shot. Most of the women had been disowned by their families. The guards didn’t have to account for the prisoners lives at all.
She was getting cold. She got cold easier than before, and most times all she could do was shake. She waited for hours until the sun went down. She waited for the smallest flicker of light coming from inside the house, but there wasn’t one.
Her bones ached as she stood. She’d been sitting too long. Slowly, she approached the house and peered into all the windows on the first level. There were a few pieces of furniture. There was even a cook stove. She went around back and tried the door, but it was locked. It figured. She could burrow under the house into the root cellar, but she wouldn’t be able to get into the house unless they’d cut a door in the floor.
Glass was too dear to break, but she was desperate. She took a big rock and threw it through a window in the back of the house. Three years ago, she would have been able to jump onto the windowsill and crawl inside. Now, she hunted for a rock large enough to give her a bit of a boost. Finally, she found one, rolled it in place with great effort, and finally struggled through the window and inside the house.
If anyone had been in the house, all the noise she’d made would have alerted them. Thank goodness for the light of the moon. She walked through the rooms, struck by one thing. No one had lived here. She went toward the front door, and on the wall hung a carved piece of wood with hooks at the bottom to hang keys. Someone had carved a name across it: Kelly. She’d never seen a better thing in her life. She traced the letters with her fingers. Sullivan must be saving the house for Becca.
She pulled a wooden chair from the kitchen to the front window. She wouldn’t make a fire until she was sure no one was about. She watched for a long time. There were plenty of deer to be had, but that was all she saw. There was a bit of scrap wood piled next to the fireplace, but the stove would give off less light.
She made the fire and then put water on to boil. The water from the indoor water pump. What a gift! Someone had used the pump, for she didn’t have to prime it. That meant someone had been inside the house. She’d have to be extra careful.
Wandering upstairs, she was amazed that there were three bedrooms, all with beds in them. One room contained a smaller bed that had heavy blankets on it. Glancing upward, she whispered, Thank You. The Lord had provided.
The blankets warmed her when she pulled them around her, and then she went back downstairs to the stove. She dragged the wooden chair in front of the stove, and then she grabbed a tin cup. It didn’t matter, there was no food, just sipping on hot water would be a treat.
Once she was settled, she sipped many cups of hot water. The almost clear soup and tea they had fed her every da
y had always been cold in the winter and warm in the summer. She’d suggested planting a garden, and she’d been willing to do all the work in it. She had thought maybe they’d be happy to have something to put in the soup, but she just got a smack to the head for her suggestion. It had occurred to her that very likely they’d wanted the inmates to die of starvation.
This was the first time in over three years she’d felt safe. Eventually she laid on the floor wrapped in the blankets and slept.
Chapter Eleven
Sullivan was going crazy. He’d thought he saw Sheila in the woods a couple times. She’d looked very troubled and terribly thin, but when he’d look again, she’d be gone. She’d haunted his dreams and now she was haunting him during the day. But then again, he saw her every time he looked at Becca.
Gail had been with them about a year. At first, he was afraid one of his brothers would steal her away and marry her, but no one ever did. They’d all helped him with Becca for a long time until finally he realized he was keeping them from going on with their lives. Gail was nice and Becca had taken to her.
Often, he’d found Gail watching him, and that made him uncomfortable. He still loved Sheila. He’d tried and tried to forget about her, to move on from her, but he just couldn’t. He did like Gail though, and they got on well. Maybe… seeing an apparition of Sheila… was a sign that he should move on. He’d told Gail there was no future for them, but maybe… they could be happy.
The sun beat down on him as he urged Zealous to move forward, his decision made. Tonight, he’d ask her tonight before he changed his mind. Maybe that would chase Sheila’s ghost away. It was for the best. Then he’d encourage Donnell to take the plunge. He was past the age to get married.
He had no ring for Gail. He had a ring he’d bought for Sheila, but he’d never part with it. The ranch had been making good money of late, though, and he could afford to buy another one for Gail. It was the logical next step, but it didn’t feel entirely right. Maybe it never would. Maybe nothing would. He’d probably never find another who’d fit in with him and Becca again. He’d have to get a house built. Dolly would probably want them to live in Becca’s house, but he just couldn’t.
Later that night he asked Gail if she’d like to go for a walk. By the expressions on a few of his brother’s faces, he would have thought he’d never walked with a woman before.
Once outside, he offered his arm and she took it. It was a nice, comfortable feeling, peaceful even. He gave her a sidelong glance, and she looked confused. He stopped near the barn, turned, and took both of her hands in his. She was lovely with her brown curls and blue eyes.
“It’s a nice night,” he commented.
“Yes, it is.” She studied him, and he felt awkward.
“Will you marry me?” he rushed out.
“Why? I mean this is very sudden.” She stared into his eyes.
“I thought since we’ve known each other a while now and I admire you, marriage might be an agreeable thing. I never asked if you ever wanted children or not, but you seem to do well with Becca.” He placed his hand on the side of her graceful neck. He didn’t feel much when he touched her, but he was afraid it would be that way with all women. “We get on well, and you wouldn’t have to worry about employment or anything. Besides, Becca is quite taken with you.”
Her eyes clouded momentarily, and then she smiled. “Yes, Sullivan, I’ll marry you.”
He bent and kissed her lips. He felt guilty for a moment, but he shut those feelings out and deepened the kiss. He could only hold it for a moment. “Let’s tell the rest.”
“I think we should talk to Becca first. Her feelings need to be considered,” Gail told him.
“You’re not backing out, are you?” he asked with a quick grin.
“Of course not. This is unlike you to be impulsive. Did something happen to prompt the proposal?” She tilted her head, waiting for an answer.
“I’ve been thinking about it for a while now. We’ll need to have a house built, and I thought we could pick the place together.”
“You and Becca have a perfectly good house, all ready to move into. Now that you’ve accepted Sheila is dead, certainly you’re ready to move on…” Her voice was gentle.
He jerked unintentionally. “I hadn’t thought of it that way. We could go out there tomorrow and take a look before we talk to Becca. I want everything planned out before we approach her.”
“I agree. We might need a long engagement. She still believes her mother is coming back to her. She prays for her every night.”
He nodded. “I’ve heard her. This will help her in the long run. Death is so hard, especially a mother’s death. So, I agree, we’ll have a long engagement. We can get to know each other more. I don’t know all that much about your background.”
“Let’s save that for another evening.”
They walked into the house hand in hand, and Dolly subjected him to a hard stare. He quickly dropped Gail’s hand. Dolly would ask him too many questions he wasn’t yet ready to answer.
* * *
The next afternoon, Sheila heard horses riding up to the house. She grabbed the blankets and ran upstairs and then farther up into the attic. They’d know someone had been in the house, but she hoped they would conclude that person was long gone.
The door below opened and closed. She hid behind a stack of planked wood. It was probably one of her brothers-in-law. Then she heard the laughter of a woman. Just what she needed, some harlot and her lover using this house as a love nest. She might be up here for a while.
She hadn’t been feeling so great lately. She had overfed herself and ended up bringing most of it back up. She was even thinner than before. She’d known better too, but the temptation of food had been overwhelming. Little by little, her stomach stopped rebelling. She looked horrid, though. Her mother had once called her hair her crowning glory, but now it was dull and thin and almost the same color of the rats she had shared a cell with.
“How’s my daughter?” a man asked.
Sheila shivered. That was not Sullivan’s voice. Able! She had to cover her mouth from gasping.
“She is wonderful. I spend all day with her,” answered a woman. “She’s almost forgotten she had another mother,” she added with confidence.
“Good, now what did you need to tell me?”
“Sullivan proposed to me last night. I played it off as it being too soon. He still misses the witch, but he said it’s time to move on. He wants a long engagement, but I’ll drag him to the altar sooner. Then I’ll be Becca’s mother, and a few months after the wedding Sullivan will have a deadly accident.”
“Finally, I’ll be the winner. I’ll have the kid.” He sounded to be bragging.
“You might have the kid, but I’ll have the money.”
“We’re sharing the money, remember?” There was an underlining warning in his voice.
“Listen, don’t get all cocky on me. I don’t want any suspicions when he dies. Nothing comes back on me, you hear? I’m doing you a favor!”
“You’ll just be the poor rich widow who leaves town with the money and the girl in tow.”
“I just didn’t want you to be surprised by the news and start blabbing. You’ve been staying away from the saloon, haven’t you? This must remain between us and don’t go getting impatient on me. It’ll take as long as it takes,” the woman said.
“It’s been three years since they sent the witch to jail, and I still don’t have Becca! The Kavanaghs have thwarted me at every turn,” he roared.
“I’ve only been working on it for a little while.”
“It’s been what, a year or so? Your charms aren’t delighting him. You must get him to compromise you. I told you that from the start.”
There was a long pause. “Have you forgotten I’m not some floozy? Plus, he’s too honorable to do anything like that. Look, I’ve finally got my proposal so stay out of it.”
“Someone’s been here in the house,” Able said.
“That would be Sullivan. We’re moving in as soon as we are married. He was most likely checking on the place.”
Able was quiet. Then, “You’re probably right. I will head out.”
* * *
It took every fiber of her being not to scream. How dare they! How dare they try to steal her daughter? Her hands shook as she went over what she’d just heard. Sullivan was getting married? He still missed the witch? Her shoulders slumped. If he was ready to get married, he’d truly put her behind him. Would they remind Becca about her, or would Gail become the new mama while the real one was erased?
And why was Able still in town? She took a gulping breath. Sullivan had protected Becca all these years. But Becca was her daughter. She hung her head. A mother she’d be better off without, a mother to be ashamed of. Somehow, she’d have to warn Sullivan of the plot against him without allowing him to know she was in the area. His life was in danger, and how long would they keep Becca alive after they got the money they were after?
How she wished she could hold her little girl in her arms again. Just one more time. It was so hard to say goodbye, and Becca would never understand the reason she stayed away was for love. Once Gail and Able were out of Becca’s life, then she’d leave the area. The gossip alone would ruin Becca’s chance to make friends and eventually a good marriage. If they got a look at her in her condition… She shook her head. How she wished she could stay, but sometimes people had to let the ones they loved the most go.
She could talk to one of his brothers maybe, but Sullivan would want to know where the information came from, and he might come after her. She was too tired to run at the moment. So a long engagement would work to her benefit… as long as Gail didn’t do something to move the date up. She didn’t trust that woman.
The light outside was growing dim as dusk approached. She needed to check her traps and see if she’d caught any rabbits. Food and fur, both would be a Godsend.
Sullivan: Cowboy Protector: The Kavanagh Brothers Book 4 Page 7