“Where do you plan to go?”
“It’s none of your business.”
“Yes, it is. All right, I lied. I paid it off, and I hold the note on the property. The only way I’m getting paid back is if you have a husband to rebuild the ranch.”
“You take too much upon yourself. I will never marry again.”
“Is there one brother over another you’d prefer?” He sat back and crossed his arms.
Her heart jumped. The fight went out of her momentarily as she stared into his eyes. Yes, there was, but he’d never believe her. “I won’t subject any of your brothers to a loveless marriage.”
“Is that what you had, a loveless marriage?” His voice turned taunting.
“Yes, if you must know. I settled and I knew it, but I didn’t know just how hard it could be. The man I really loved was always on my mind, and Richard was well aware who that was. He threw it in my face every chance he got. He spent more time at Bobbie’s Saloon than he did at home, and he wasn’t always gambling. People whispered about it every time I was in town.” She heaved a sigh. “But that was my burden to bear. I refuse to marry again. I had my heart torn out once, and I won’t do it again.” She opened the door and walked out of the office.
Just who did he think he was? “You don’t have a horse, do you?” he’d said, as if that would solve all her problems. Well, she had two good feet; she’d drag her cattle back. A soft snarl curled her lip as she thought about her cattle on Kavanagh land. That no-good banker had led her to believe they’d been rustled. She knew the Kavanaghs weren’t thieves. She walked and walked, aware that her shoes were rubbing her feet raw, limping more with each painful step.
The door to the house was off its hinges and on the ground. Had someone been there? Did she dare check inside? She grabbed the axe off the chopping stump and walked to the door then cautiously pushed it open. No one was there. In fact, nothing was there; all her things had been taken, furniture and all. What was going on? She’d had to be strong for so long… And now she not only didn’t have a horse, she had nothing. Great gasping sobs tore through her body.
She sat on the porch and cried.
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Cora’s Courage
She cringed and stared at the ground, clasping her hands together and hoping that Eddie would keep his voice down. They’d only been traveling for three weeks with the wagon train, and people avoided her. They were probably all listening to him lecture her on proper behavior.
“Do you think you could act like a proper mother? The only reason Esther cries is because you aren’t a good mother.”
Cora nodded, not daring to look at him. Bad people came in many disguises and Eddie wore one of the best disguises to cover his badness. Best not to cross him. She smoothed down her serviceable brown skirt and waited for him to stop chiding her. He liked to hear himself talk, she’d concluded. It was best to just let him go on without saying a word in defense. He found fault every day and she never knew what he’d yell at her about.
He went on so long her mind wandered. Everyone already knew that Eddie was always finding fault. She’d had hopes of making a few friends on the trip west but no one wanted to be near them. Not that she blamed them. She walked alone or carried Esther. One friend, just one friend would have meant the world to her, but who would want to get involved with a woman who hung her head in shame daily?
He finished, and she gazed at him, striving for a contrite expression. “I’m sorry, Eddie. I’ll do better.”
He gave her a quick nod and walked away. It had been the same routine every day for the last three weeks. But unless she wanted another scolding — or worse — she needed to get to her chores. She flew to the back of the wagon, grabbing items she’d need for supper. Without stopping, she pulled the basket Esther napped in close to the back and put down the tailgate to use it as her work table.
She put a cloth sling, she’d made to help carry the baby, across her body and slowly and gently slipped Essie inside. Eddie would have her head if he knew that’s what she called her in her mind. Then she grabbed the bucket and started down the steep trail to the fast running creek.
The bank was muddied from the other women who had gotten there before her, making her way quite slippery. She stepped with caution and then finally got on her knees to reach the water. She filled the bucket the best she could and hauled it back to the bank. It would be a hard go making it back up the muddy trail. She wouldn’t have cared for herself but now she had her daughter.
She started to slip backwards and felt a hand on her waist and then an arm snaked around her, helping her up the hill. She knew it wasn’t Eddie — it would never be Eddie helping her. A peek from beneath her lashes revealed it was Harrison. He often parked his wagon next to theirs. She’d been lectured about that too.
“Thank you, Harrison, but if Eddie sees you helping me…”
“I know, Cora, but how else would you get back up onto the trail?” As soon as she was steadied on her feet, he let go of her and walked away.
The back of her neck prickled, and she slowly turned, her stomach jumping with nerves. Sure enough, Eddie had been watching. Averting her eyes, she hefted the heavy bucket, carried it to their wagon and set it down. Next she took Essie out of the sling and settled her back into her basket.
Eddie never said a word, but his displeasure was easy to read on his face.
“I’ll have dinner ready soon.”
His eyes narrowed. “See you do.”
Her only saving grace was Eddie wasn’t a hitting man. And he had been her only choice so she could keep her baby. She’d learn to live through the lectures.
After shredding the leftover grouse meat, she put it in the heavy pot along with water. Then she added a few bits of bacon and chopped carrots. She should have gotten the fire going sooner. She didn’t have any kindling to start it. Eddie was right she was a half-wit. Once again she put Essie into the sling and then set out toward the woods.
She wasn’t allowed to go into the woods. Scouting the area near the woods didn’t yield much, but it was all she could find. Esther was fussing and needed feeding but so did Eddie. For all his words about her not taking good care of Esther, he still expected to come first.
It was slow going carrying both the baby and the kindling, but she hurried the best she could. Her heart sank as she spotted Eddie. His dark hair was always slicked back. She didn’t know what he used, but it had an awful smell. He was tall, a bit on the lanky side, and he’d been a nice man when he wanted her for his own. Men always wanted something. Nothing was free; she’d learned that from her mother.
He sat on a crate, brooding as he watched her make the fire and then put the tripod over the flames to hang the pot from. She then had to go into the wagon from the front, which meant climbing up to the bench and then crawling over the seat to the wagon bed. She was only allowed to feed Esther inside the wagon. But feeding her gave her a moment to rest, something she welcomed since she’d been on her feet most of the day.
Usually Eddie wanted her to ride with him in the afternoon, but for some reason today, he had told her to walk. She had fallen behind the rest but then she’d had to feed the baby. It had taken most of her energy to run until she’d caught up. And after feeding the baby, Cora’d had to walk again. And now, her day still held much work.
She finished feeding Esther, burped her, kissed her, and put her back into her basket. Then she climbed out the front and down the side of the wagon. She still had cornbread and dumplings to make. She didn’t have milk or an egg for the dumplings but she’d made them with just flour and water before. She finished making the cornbread first and put the dough in her Dutch oven. She set it on some hot coals and shoveled more coals over the top. After that she started on the bread dough. She made bread dough every evening. It rose overnight, and she baked it in the morning.
The weather had been warmer in Independence before they left. Now she wasn’t sure it wouldn’t snow. It was nice and warm by th
e fire as she stirred the pot, and when it boiled she dropped the dumplings into the liquid one by one.
Harrison walked by and tipped his hat. “Ma’am, Eddie.”
Cora didn’t dare acknowledge him. Eddie gave him the barest of nods. It was better that way. If she had said hello, she would have been screamed at for encouraging another man. Eddie always said, “yet another man.”
She served Eddie his food and made sure that Eddie had more coffee before she sat down to eat. She’d done so much running around that she had become overheated, and she welcomed the cool air. She had nothing warmer than her shawl but it would have to be enough. In many ways she was grateful to Eddie for helping her.
She ate quickly so she could clean up before dark. She poured water in a pan and washed the dishes and then rinsed them in another tiny amount of water in another pan. She dried everything and put it all away in the spot Eddie had thought best at the beginning of the trip.
It had cost him much money to buy and fill the wagon so they could leave Missouri and he’d done that for her. He must care in his own way.
She fed Esther again and then sat by the fire with Eddie. Her conversation was limited to small observations; the weather, knitting, mending, cooking, or asking his advice on anything. She was not to have any opinions or objections. It was a hard way to live, having to watch every move, every word, and every glance. She was learning not to make him angry.
What type of life would Esther have? Would he constantly lecture the child?
“It’s time you went to bed,” he told her.
“Of course. Good night.” She stood and walked to him to give him a kiss on the cheek. It was another thing he insisted on.
She climbed into the wagon and changed into her flannel nightgown. Then she spread a quilt down on the wooden bottom, lay on it, and used the other half to cover herself with. Eddie slept under the wagon. It was his choice.
Sleep eluded her, and her thoughts drifted to Eddie’s obvious displeasure. Maybe if she behaved better, he’d have no reason to lecture her. She sighed. She’d tried that before. It hadn’t been as bad on his farm. There had been no one to hear him but on the wagon train she was so humiliated because he didn’t care who heard, and it made the other passengers visibly uncomfortable. She pulled the quilt tighter and prayed she would drift to sleep. She needed her rest. Esther would be up soon and then morning would be here.
She woke up to Esther crying and a strange noise. It sounded like the canvas was being pelted with rocks. The wagon swayed as she quickly snatched up Esther and held her close to protect her.
Eddie jumped into the wagon with his bedroll. “It’s hailing and the wind is picking up. He didn’t draw the back closed he just stared at the hail.
“Have you ever seen hail so large before?” she asked.
“No.”
She turned her back and unbuttoned her gown. Esther didn’t seem to mind the hail as long as she was being fed.
“She sure does eat a lot.” Eddie commented.
“She has a good appetite.”
“She is almost pleasant to look at, but I’m still not giving her my name.”
Cora closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “I know.”
“I’m not marrying you, either. You’re not worthy of the Connor name.”
“I understand.”
“Do you? Do you really? Tell me why.”
Her face heated as she settled Esther back into the basket. “I’m a no good whore who got herself pregnant and was blessed enough to find you.”
“That’s right. I can leave you behind anytime I like. Remember that.”
A flash of lightning probably revealed how red her face was. He’d said nothing about leaving her behind before.
“I’m grateful for all you’ve done for us, Eddie.”
“In what ways would you show me you’re grateful?”
It was a trick question. Once she gave him the answer she thought he wanted and was forced to spend the night in a freezing cold barn. She’d been close to her time.
“By obeying you. By being pious and never looking or talking to a man other than you. By making your life easier in any way I can.”
“Good.” He turned and looked back outside.
He didn’t tell her to sleep. Should she? She’d best ask.
“Eddie, may I go back to bed?”
“Yes, you may.”
* * *
Harrison shook his head in disgust. Where was that woman’s spirit? She was so dull with her “yes Eddie, may I Eddie, I’m sorry Eddie.” He hated listening to her but no one else wanted to be next to their wagon. He took one side and he didn’t know how they decided who took the other.
It was too bad. Cora was so pretty her fine chestnut color hair and he could have sworn he saw some spunk in her green eyes once but he must have been mistaken. At least Eddie didn’t beat her. There had to be a story behind it all, but he sure wasn’t privy to it. He stretched as much as he could inside his wagon. It reminded him he wouldn’t have much room if his wife, Ora was still alive.
His throat burned every time he thought of her, which was often. It’d had only been six weeks since her death. Going west was something they had planned together. Ora had been so excited to make the trip.
He needed his sleep, but it wasn’t happening. He might as well relieve one of the married men from guard duty. He’d survived hail storms before, and he’d do it now.
The next day the sun came up and the view was spectacular with its pink, blue and purple colors. Harrison still wasn’t tired. Lonely yes, tired no. But he’d get through it. He’d never love again, though. His heart still felt as though it had been ripped out.
He was almost to his wagon when he saw Cora balancing on the top of the wooden wagon side with her baby in the sling she used, as she tried to sew closed a hole that had been torn in the canvas. So many watched, but not one person said a word about it being unsafe. Her worthless husband sat by the fire drinking coffee.
She teetered and cried out as she fell hard onto her back.
Harrison ran to her and her eyes were open wide and staring. She looked stunned. Then she turned her head toward him. “Where’s Esther?”
He hated the fear in her eyes. “She’s right here in her sling.” Harrison picked the baby up and showed Cora.
Cora sighed in relief.
“Does anything hurt?” he asked while he handed the baby to one of the women who had come to watch.
“I—I don’t know.”
“Get away from Cora.” Eddie elbowed his way to her and gave Harrison a hard stare. “I’ll take care of her.” He grabbed the baby away from the woman who held her and glared until the crowd dispersed.
Harrison stepped away from her, but he didn’t leave. What was wrong with her husband? Why wasn’t he checking his wife for injuries?
Eddie reached a hand down. “Get up.”
Cora grabbed his hand and cried out as she tried to stand. “My shoulder and my leg—
”
“Just get up. I know you’re fine.”
By the time she stood, her face was beyond pale and tears poured down her face.
“You didn’t finish the repair.”
“I fell.”
Eddie stared at her and then at the canvas. He put the baby back in the sling and walked away.
She leaned against the wagon wheel for a moment. Then she took the sling off. Pain flared in her eyes, and she looked ready to cry out, but she clamped her mouth tight. The sling with Esther was gently hung from the wheel as Cora limped to the section where she’d just been. She took a step onto the upside-down wash basin and had trouble getting her other leg to follow. It was a large step onto the side of the wagon, and her body was shaking.
Harrison wanted to carry her down from there, but he couldn’t interfere. Eddie would take it out on Cora if he did. It was hard to watch. His gut clenched as she sidestepped to the exact place she needed to be. She grabbed the threaded needle that had been dang
ling against the canvas and tried to make a stitch but it looked as though she couldn’t lift her shoulder. She sidestepped a bit farther and used her left hand to sew. She got two stitches done before she started to tremble again.
“Connor, get your wife down from there!” Captain London yelled. The captain was the leader of the train. People either did things his way, or they got kicked off and had to fend for themselves.
Eddie finished his coffee and then strolled over to where Cora was. “Are you done?”
“No,” she mumbled.
“She’ll be right down when she’s done,” Eddie told the captain.
“I want her down now. I heard she already fell once with the baby. Besides that’s not how you repair the canvas. You need to take it off to darn it and then patch it. You can’t just sew it. Water will get in.”
Eddie gave the captain an insolent glance. “You heard him,” he snapped at Cora. “Get down offa there.”
Cora was on one foot while leaning her body against one rib of the wagon. Her eyes were closed, and Harrison suspected she couldn’t get herself down.
He’d had enough. He walked to her and gently talked her into trusting him to lift her down. After a time, she nodded. “We’ll need a doctor,” he told the captain.
“Drop down so I can grab your waist.” He lifted her down but kept her in his arms.
Mrs. Chapman came running. “Harrison set her on the tailgate so I can look her over. I might need her moved inside the wagon. Where’s the baby? Mr. Connor do you have the baby?”
Captain London picked up the sling from the wagon wheel. “The baby is right here.”
“Harrison, bring her to my wagon. Captain, same with the baby.” Eddie stood up. Mrs. Chapman held up her hand. “I don’t want to hear it, Mr. Connor. I’ll let you know when you can come get them.” She led the procession to her wagon while she mumbled and shook her head.
Harrison glanced down at Cora. “I guess there’s been a change in plans.”
“No! Put me down and give me Esther. The only wagon I’m going to is mine. Where is Eddie?” Her eyes were wide and her voice wavered.
Sullivan: Cowboy Protector: The Kavanagh Brothers Book 4 Page 12