by Emily Bex
***
Kate wakes up in their bed and knows without looking he is already up. She can feel the emptiness beside her. She rolls over and grabs his pillow, pulls it to her, and inhales his scent. She felt him when he came back from the Dead House at sunrise and slid into bed beside her. She lifts her left hand and looks at the huge ring, loaded down with diamonds. Good Lord...who wears jewelry like this? His mother, that's who wore jewelry like this. She kisses the ring and sends her a prayer. I promise you I will be the mate you wanted for your son. Please look down on us with your blessings. I wish I could have known you. I wish you were here now, to guide me in this unknown world of vampires, to help me to be everything he needs me to be.
There is a part of her that fears his mother would have been disappointed in his choice of a mortal girl. He has already implied as much about his father. And then there is the matter of her family and friends. She has managed to hide this relationship from all of them with her story of living abroad. But how do you hide a whole lifetime? And children? He talks about children. Will their children be vampire or mortal, or something in between, like Cory? The ramifications of her choices are slamming home. She sits up in the bed, still holding his pillow, with her knees drawn up to her chest.
She has woven this elaborate story about living and working in London as the excuse for her absence, speaking to her friends and family by phone or on Skype, but she realizes, at some point, she will have to completely separate from them. Just "disappear" somehow. Because how do you hide a whole life? How do you hide the fact you have a husband? Okay, not a husband, a mate, a vampire mate...and children? She already made her choice when she decided to feed from him, but the loss of the people she has known all her life is sobering. How long can she continue this façade of living abroad?
She knows she can't share with them the reality of Shade. That is not possible without putting him at risk. She lays her head back against the headboard. This is a true fork in the road Kate, and there is no turning back. To follow her chosen path, to follow him, she must let go of all that came before him. She says a silent good-bye to them, at least in the way she has lived with all of them in the past, because a life without Shade would be no life.
She slips out of bed and gets dressed in jeans and a sweater. Jeez, he's going to get tired of me in jeans. Her mortal body is hungry, and she is wondering what Shade is up to. She can feel him in the house, so she leaves this temporary bedroom and heads downstairs. She stops in the kitchen and is startled to find Reynaldo already at work. He has the coffee brewing and a bowl of freshly sliced fruit, fresh from the market, ready for her while he prepares an omelet and a toasted bagel.
“Good morning…I mean, evening, Reynaldo.”
She looks around at the elaborate kitchen space and has to smile. The toaster, the microwave and the coffee-maker were the only things she had even used in this room. Reynaldo seems in his element and so happy to be preparing food.
“And what would my lady like for lunch today?”
“I don’t usually eat lunch.” She sees the disappointment in his face. “I do eat dinner. But Reynaldo…keep it light.”
He smiles at her, “Understood, my lady.”
She quickly polishes off the omelet and bagel, and savors the freshly brewed coffee, and then goes wandering in search of Shade. They should probably talk about this whole marriage/mating/baby thing. After the ‘warrior picking ceremony’, she is wondering what a vampire wedding looks like? And when should she extricate herself from her family? And children? Good Lord, she is beginning to understand why his parents did not want him to choose a mortal girl. Oh well, too late for that now. She loves him, and she feels his love for her, so no turning back.
Kate walks into the living room to find it empty. She looks out onto the patio and it is also empty. She heads down the corridor to his study, and she can hear voices. She has to smile. She knows Luca is here as her protector, but she can sense Shade's joy in having him here as well. She hates to disturb him in his study if he is working, but the door is open, so she steps into the doorway. He has electronics spread across the floor. It takes a moment to recognize what it is, a bunch of security cameras, and motion sensors, tons of cable and several small monitors, one large monitor, and a massive console that controls everything. He is talking about getting on the roof.
She will live in a fortress surrounded by security cameras and under the protection of not one, but two vampire warriors. The memory of the night Sabine appeared in their bedroom flashes through her head. She knows he has downplayed it, but he is a warrior who fights against opposing vampire forces. Will their children be safe? Will her children be sent away to be raised in a warrior training camp like Luca? The depth of what she doesn’t know overwhelms her.
“Shade? We need to talk...”
***
As Luca and Shade are deep in discussion about where to place the cameras, he is so involved in everything they are doing he doesn’t hear bel until she steps inside his office. He looks up to see the look on her face and his heart drops. She says they need to talk. This does not bode well, and he looks at Luca as they both feel this cloud looming over her.
Nodding to Luca, he steps out. “Kate? What is wrong? Has something happened? Are you all right?” Walking to her, he takes her hand and looks into those dark eyes and he can see her mind is racing with millions of questions and he knows he needs to sit with her and talk.
“Okay, this is serious. I can feel the turmoil inside you. So, let’s go and talk this out, I can feel your doubts, and your fear.”
He feels her hug him tight, like it is the last time she will ever hold him, and his heart goes into panic mode. Cazzo, she has doubts about this whole relationship, this lifestyle, me. He feels like his whole world is about to crash in on him.
She lays her head on his shoulder, “Is this a bad time? You are busy here with Luca. I can come back later if you need me to.”
He squeezes her to him and says, "No, mi amore, I can feel you are upset. We will talk now. Luca can wait."
“Well, first of all, I am fine. I just woke up with a million questions in my head. Things I need to understand. I try so hard to live inside this bubble, where only the two of us exist. But the reality is, there is still so much I don't know. Please, I can feel your concern for me, and I can read it on your face.” She places her hand on his cheek. “Before we start talking, you need to know I'm not going anywhere. I can't imagine a life for myself that does not include you. Let's go in the living room, sit in front of the fire, and talk.”
He leads bel into the living room and lights the fire, settling down beside her on the sofa as she looks at him.
“Kate, this is a serious conversation. Now, there seems to be many things bothering you about my world, and what our future holds. It is time to answer your questions and try to figure out some answers.”
She curls up next to him on the sofa and pulls a throw across her legs against the chill.
“I woke up with so many things in my head. I don't even know where to start. I was thinking about my family and how I should manage things going forward, as I have kept our lives together secret. I don't know how I can continue to do that for a lifetime. And if we have children, I mean, how do I hide the fact I have children? I hate to disappear from them. I told them about the new job in Europe, and I can always say that I will be living there permanently. I don't know, lover. What have other mortals that have mated vampires done?”
Shade raises his eyebrows, watching her spill out question after question.
“Let us address one question at a time, si? As for your family and friends, it is true, there will come a point in time where you must pull away. Once you become immortal, if that is your wish, you will age, but very slowly. You see me at five hundred. Alec does not look much older than me, and he is seven hundred and fifty. Gi has been with my family for many generations, he is Two thousand, maybe older. You can see his age now. He looks like a mortal of about seventy
or so. You are an only child. Your own parents are almost sixty. Perhaps, if you are careful, you can maintain a relationship with them, by phone until their mortal death. But it is true, mi amore. If you become immortal, the deception must continue. Do you not wish it so? I will not force this decision on you. It is yours to make. We are bonded now. You drank my blood, and for the rest of my life, I will feel you, hear you. But if you chose to leave…”
“No! I don’t choose to leave. I have made peace with my choice. I think I just needed to say it out loud. Acknowledge that I have to find a way to marginalize the mortals in my life, and I will do that, because I can’t move forward without you.”
His sigh is audible. He can’t imagine his life without her. “Ask me another, one at a time please.”
“I guess my next question, after witnessing the ceremony in Florence for Luca, is there a special ceremony for a vampire mating? Or will there be something expected of us, because you're royalty?”
“There is much ceremony in my immortal world, and it is extremely ritualistic, and you need not worry about such at this time. Because you are mortal, the Council will not officially recognize you as my mate until you are turned. When you become immortal, you are also royal blood. You will rule with me over my coven. We will discuss that later, much later, for it is very involved and you will need coaching beforehand. Does any of this scare you? Or confuse you?”
Kate pulls the throw up around her shoulders. “Actually, becoming immortal was on the list of questions in my head. So, we are only partially mated? I need to be immortal before we are completely mated? Also, I assumed I would need to be immortal before we have children. I mean, at first, I didn’t think vampires were born, only turned. And then only born to immortals, but then I met Cory. I am confused, lover.” Also, a little freaked out because I have not been on any birth control since I have been with him, but I’ll leave that discussion for another day.
“Kate, there have been extremely rare incidents of mortal/immortal pregnancies. It is very difficult for a mortal to be impregnated by an immortal. But when it does occur, those children are half-breeds. Like Cory. They have many attributes of a vampire, but will never be as strong, or live as long. The vampire community rejects them, and, of course, they do not fit into their mortal community either. So that is the reason I wish for you to be immortal before we have children. It is crucial my children be born as vampires, to ensure their royal blood. There must be no questions about their royal lineage. My males must carry forth the Medici legacy, born full-blooded warriors, taking over the warrior camp, and assuming responsibility for the coven. They will have every privilege given to them without question, if they are born of two immortals.”
***
She has an internal sigh of relief as he states how rare mortal/immortal pregnancies are.
“Shade, you are assuming our children will be all boys. There is the possibility we would have a daughter, yes? But, our children, Luca mentioned he had been under study as a warrior since he was ten. Will our children be sent away? Would our boys be sent to a warrior training camp? And Sabine was a warrior, and you said Adriana was a warrior, will our girls also be sent away? Will I be allowed to raise our own children?”
***
Shade stands up and paces, his hand over his mouth. How in the hell do I break this to her?
“Kate, because I am warrior born, our male children are more likely to be born warrior. It is more common for the males than the females. We will not know their fate until they are born, but the first-born son is almost always warrior. He is the heir to the coven. I was born warrior, as was my padre. It is in the blood. For any of our children born warrior, their training begins at ten, and I will see they are trained at Castello. We can live there if you wish. I am sorry Kate, I will have it no different, and my children will be ruled by me, the sons especially!”
Kate is stunned by his revelation. “I... I don't...we can live at Castello, I understand...but will I see them? Will they live with us? What do you mean ruled by you? Are you saying I have no say?”
Shade flops down on the sofa and lays his head back, closing his eyes. “Kate, we live in such different worlds. They will need to learn to be in my world, they will be vampire and royal, my sons will grow to be masters, my daughters will mate with masters. They will need every skill they can manage to survive, to protect their coven. They will have to be able to hunt for food, find a mate, and survive in both the immortal and mortal world. A boy is sent to the camps when he is ten to develop his skills as a warrior. When he reaches eighteen, he is sent out in the world and left to his own devices to travel and learn how to apply all that he has learned. He will need to have these skills to survive. If our daughters are not warrior born, they will be kept at home until they mate. All of the children will have private tutors who come to our home, as the children cannot attend school with mortals. The tutors will teach them everything a mortal child would learn in school, in addition to learning our vampire history and culture. Whatever gift our child is born with, they will need to learn to hone that skill. Even our daughters must be taught skills for survival among mortals. This is why I want you to make sure this is what you want, mi amore. Their mother is most important. Your children are not taken away from you and you will be involved in every part of their life. Before they are teens, they see very little of the outside world. They are cloistered and sheltered, for their own safety. They will rely on you as every child relies on their madre. If they are not born as day-walkers, they will sleep as I do, in their death slumber, and need protection. Newborns feed only from their madre. Within a few weeks, the baby will be weaned from you to feed from their nanny, and their wet feeder. The wet feeder remains dedicated to that one child until the child is between sixteen or eighteen and is capable of reproducing, and they have learned to hunt. But yes, they will need their madre. They will need you to love them, support them, teach them, protect them, and keep them strong.”
***
Kate’s head is reeling with this information. How does she even process this? And wet feeders? She will tackle that one another day.
“Lover...this is all so...different. I have never even seen a vampire child. I guess I just assumed they would be raised the same. I mean, I understand the need to feed on blood, but the other skills, and the training. I know how close you were to your mother, you mention her often, so I know she had to have an important role in your life. That is what I want. I want to make sure I have an important role in my children's life. I can't just turn my children over to someone else to raise. I don't want to love them from a distance.”
“Kate, the boys will be with you when they are very small, no different than mortal children. But the boys will go to the camp at age ten. They live at the camp, but you can visit them. The girls are not as likely to be born warrior and will stay at home until they are mated. I can only say I needed my madre every moment I could have with her, she was my softness, she read to me, she taught me what it meant to be male, and my responsibility to my female. She held me close to her chest even when I was grown. I would not be the man I am without her loving touch. So, you will have a great place in their lives, bel, a great place in their hearts and souls.”
“That is comforting to know. I feared they would be taken away. Who teaches them to gain control over their inner beast? Who teaches them how to survive among mortals without being discovered?”
Shade runs his hand through her hair, “They learn such skills from me, and I would love for you to help me as well. They will also have the best tutors that money can provide. But I learned much from my padre the hard way. He had a heavy hand with me. I wish not to be so brutal in my approach with my own children. My madre intervened many times. She would come to my rescue when my padre had lost patience with me, and comfort me and deal with my padre on her own terms later, as I am sure will happen with us.” He chuckles, “Once you are immortal, bel, your beast will be strong and vibrant as well.”
Kate lean
s her cheek into his hand, “And who will teach me to control my inner beast?”
“I will help you, mi amore. Never fear. Do not be afraid of the beast. She is there to protect you so embrace her as she rises inside you.”
“If my beast has my redheads' temper, and she has to battle with your beasts' stubbornness, then we better have strong furniture, indeed.”
Roaring with laughter, he pulls her into his arms and kisses her soundly. “Oh si, it will never be boring! Anything else you want to ask?”
“Immortality, how does that happen?”
“Do you mean turning you from mortal to immortal?”
“Yes, what do you do, and what will it feel like, and how long does it take, and what do I need to learn before this happens, and when are you planning on making this happen? I mean, you clearly had a plan in your head since you asked me to be your mate?”
Shade shakes his head, smiling at her. “Your brain is smoking, mi amore, thinking of all these questions, but this is important. It will be the final step in allowing us to live our lives together for eternity. I will take you back to Florence, for it is important you be turned there, inside Castello. I will feed from you, draining you until right before your last heartbeat. As your heart takes its last beat in this mortal world, I feed you with my blood. You will crave it, want it, and feel me strongly. Your body will go into a death slumber. It will change internally, and that will be painful. I cannot help you during your turning other than to be with you, hold you and try to comfort you. You must fight to come back to me, bel. You will hear my voice and you must respond, for I become your maker and master, and I will call you home to me. You must fight the pain, fight the slumber. Once this procedure is complete and you fight through, you will awaken as immortal. You will be starving beyond anything you have ever felt, and you will feed from me and me alone. You will crave no other blood except mine for all eternity.”