“Just got back from Sha’quan’s mama’s house.”
“Damn, for real?”
“Yep, and it was cool as hell. His mama and sister both really like me.”
“That’s cool, and he’s cool or whatever, but I still think you’re crazy for sticking by that nigga with this baby-mama drama shit.”
“We don't even know if it’s his yet.”
“So? That shit already too much. You need to move on.”
“Nah, he’s a good man. He’s been treating me real good, better than them other niggas. I'm not just gonna walk out on him.”
“So you’re gonna be babysitting some other hoe’s baby?”
“I don’t know about all that, but I'm not gonna just leave.”
Just then, Sha’quan comes back in. I tell Shawna I’ll talk to her later and get off the phone. He puts the bags down and suggests a bath. His tub is big, so we get in together to just soak and chill. Sha’quan is being quiet, so I’m wondering what he thinking about when he says, “They’re supposed to have the test results tomorrow.”
“Oh yeah? You nervous?”
“Yeah. About a few things.”
“Like what?”
“Like if the baby is mine, I'm worried you’re gonna leave me.”
I take a second to think. I don't know what to say. I don't wanna lie to him, but I don't wanna make it worse.
I lay there playing with the bubbles a few minutes before saying, “Look Sha, I can't promise that I'm ready for the whole step-momma thing. I'm scared, too. I don't wanna end this, but there is a lot to think about. I mean, I love you, I just…”
I pause and realize what I just said. I just told him I loved him for the first time. I didn’t mean to; it just slipped out. I freeze, worried.
Sha’quan feels me stiffen up. He’s laying behind me, so he grips my shoulders and rubs. “Why’d you stop?” he asks.
I don't say anything.
“What, because you said you love me? Why’d that make you stop?”
“I didn’t mean to say that.”
“You don't?”
“I…I don't know.”
“You don't know?”
“Do you?”
He pauses, and so do I. My stomach starts feeling funny. Why did I have to say that shit?
Sha’quan takes a deep breath and says, “Yeah, I think I do.”
“You think?”
“I mean, yeah, I do. That's why I'm scared to lose you.”
It feels good to hear him admit that. I turn around to look him in those hazel eyes. I stroke my hand down his face.
“Well, I love you, too,” I whisper in his ear.
At that moment, I think I just decided that no matter what comes next, we’re facing it together.
The next day at work is like hell. I'm nervous and barely fucking paying attention. All I keep thinking is, we find out tonight. I don’t know if I want the day to go by fast or slow. It kinda goes by fast, and before I know it, Sha’quan is walking out of the kitchen. My poor baby looks so stressed out. I just wanna hug him and make him feel better, but I know I can’t. I just grab his hand, and we walk out together.
I drive, though I feel fidgety as hell. Sha’quan is even worse. He’s tryna pull that man shit and act strong, but I can tell he’s scared. I don't blame him.
We pull up to the clinic, and I see that he’s breathing fast as fuck. I lean over and kiss him to try and calm him down. He takes a deep breath and gets out the car.
Of course, as soon as we step inside the clinic, Jaynie’s ol’ bitch ass is standing there, bouncing the baby. She got some other chick with her, too. She looks all happy and shit. I just wanna slap the shit outta her. I grip Sha’quan hand instead.
As soon as Sha’quan sees Jaynie, he straightens up. He clearly not gonna let her see him worried. He slips into this strong, tall shit and walks like he ain’t afraid of nothing. That’s my baby! Don’t let that hoe see you sweat! He goes to check in, and they say it’ll be a little wait, but Jaynie’s sitting there, smirking at us. I follow Sha’quan’s lead and act like I ain’t worried.
When the nurse comes to get them, I lean over and give him a deep kiss. He gives me another quick one before walking to the back.
I'm sitting there, with my stomach in knots. Part of me wishes I woulda brought Shawna, but her ignorant ass woulda beat Jaynie’s ass on sight, baby and all. I notice Jaynie’s friend staring, but I just sit there, trying not to be too nervous. I pick up my phone and start scrolling through Facebook. My phone is shaking in my hands, but I try to focus on the statuses and not what’s going on.
My phone rings, and I almost jump outta my fucking skin. I pick it up, and its Mr. Richman’s assistant, confirming me for the performance. I ask her if I'll be able to get comp tickets, and she says she'll let me know. Just as I'm hanging up I hear hollering in the back. Some chick back there’s yelling, and a baby is screaming. I look up, and just then Sha’quan comes out strutting and smiling. Jaynie is behind him in tears, screaming. I focus on Sha’quan and jump up to meet him.
He picks me up in his arms and says, “I told you it wasn’t mine. That ain’t my baby.”
I squeeze him tight. I'm so happy. Now we can move on. Sha’quan puts me down, and I look at Jaynie, who is still fuming.
“So that’s it?” she yells.
Sha’quan looks at her like she's crazy. “Hell yeah, that’s it! That’s not my baby. What the fuck do you mean?”
“What about him though? He not supposed to have a father?”
“Not to be mean, but that ain’t my problem. I told you I’ll take care of it if it was mine, but it ain’t, so go find the nigga who is the father.”
“That's fucked up, Sha’quan.”
“I don't see how. Your ass is crazy. Fuck if I’ll take care of another nigga responsibilities. Go find that motherfucka. I'm done. Y'all have a nice life. C’mon, baby.”
He grabs my hand, and we walk towards the door, but just as we’re leaving I feel something tugging me back.
I whip around and see that Jaynie’s given the baby to the friend and is now attacking me, yelling, “This all your fault!”
This bitch is crazy. Lil’ do she know, so am I. I’ve been wanting a piece of this bitch, and I’m gonna take it. I step back and prepare to swing on this hoe. Sha’quan comes up behind me and wraps his arms around me, pulling me back and yelling at Jaynie.
“Bitch, you done lost yo motherfucking mind!”
She still coming at me, and I’m still tryna get to her. Security comes up and gets a grip on Jaynie. Sha’quan pulls me out the door, towards the car. He finally lets me go, but I’m over it anyway.
I'm too happy to let that hoe ruin it. I feel like dancing. Shit, I feel like singing. I'm so fucking relieved we ain’t gotta deal with this shit. I can just be with the man I love, and we can focus on us. I feel like throwing a fucking parade.
Sha’quan says, “We’re celebrating!”
He’s driving, so I slide into the passenger side door. Just as he gets in and starts up the car, my phone rings again.
It’s Richman’s assistant, and she says, “You can have six tickets.”
“That’s perfect!” I respond.
That means I can bring Sha’quan, my mama, Mocha, Shawna, and still bring his mama and sister.
Just as I'm about to tell Sha’quan the good news, I see he’s on the phone.
He says, “What up, nigga! Ay, where y’all at?...Aw yeah, that’s perfect cause me and my girl, we’re tryna celebrate…I’ll tell yo ass when we get there. Just stay yo monkey ass there…aight, nigga.” He hangs up and says, “That’s my dude, Rashad. Him and the fellas are down at this spot Isha’s right now. We can slide over there and have a drink and celebrate.”
“That’s cool. And guess what?”
“What?”
“I got six tickets for the Morgan State show. I can invite yo mama and sister.”
“Even more good news. This must be our night!”
> I smile. It really does feel like it. I didn't realize how much that baby shit was affecting me until I felt the relief of having it behind me. Now the only thing that can fuck us up is us. I hang my phone up and put on “Brand New Day” from The Wiz Soundtrack and start singing along. Sha’quan starts laughing hard as hell at me. When that song is over, I put on “Happy” by Pharell. Sha’quan starts dancing along to that shit, too. We both hype.
We pull up to the place, Isha’s, and it’s a lil’ hole in the wall, but I don’t mind. Sha’quan helps me out, and we walk in. The place is packed.
He spots his people, and we make our way through to them. As soon as we get to ‘em, he starts dapping dudes up and giving girls hugs. He introduces me around and a lot of them look shocked when he uses the word girlfriend. Hell, me too, cuz I ain't never heard him say that before, so I just smile and say hey.
He gets us some drinks and then makes a toast. He raises his drink in the air and says, “To me getting that good ol’, ‘You are not the father’!”
Everybody laughs and drinks.
His dude Rashad goes, “Yo, somebody tried to put a baby on you, bruh? Who?”
“Jaynie’s ass.”
“Aw hell naw!” his friend Gerald says. “That could be half the hood, baby. Shit, plenty of dudes in here need to take that test.”
“I don’t give a fuck. Long as it ain’t me.”
We drink for a bit, then Sha’quan pulls me out on the dancefloor. The DJ’s got it lit up in here. We dance along to a buncha 90s hits. Sha’quan’s behind me, grinding all on me while I twerk on him. We have a good time for a while, until we both get sweaty and crowded and make our way back to the table. Soon as we get there, everybody turns and looks. I coulda sworn I heard a record scratch. I look up at Sha’quan, and he’s staring at a chick that came up while we were on the dancefloor. I just stand there, looking and tryna see what’s going on.
“Hey Sha’quan,” the chick says. Her eyes dart to me.
Sha’quan says, “Shaniqua.”
Oh damn! This is his crazy ex.
“And who is this?” she asks. “My girlfriend Neeci.”
She sucks her teeth. “Girlfriend since when?”
“Don't worry about it.”
“Hmph! Are you really gonna come in here with some chick?”
“You know what, you ain't gonna fuck up our vibe. We’ve been over for years, Shaniqua. Get over that shit! We’re gonna go, and you can have the whole place to yourself. Bye y’all.”
With that, he turns to walk out. I throw up a hand goodbye, as he pulls me towards the door. I didn't realize how hot it was in there ‘til we stepped back outside. I don’t care though. It is Sha’quan and I, just like it will be from now on.
Seven
Sha’Quan
I'm so happy I could turn flips! Even Shaniqua’s ol’ crazy ass showing up can't fuck it up. I cannot describe the feeling when that doctor said the baby wasn’t mine. I damn near cried tears of joy. Of course, Jaynie tried to fuck it up, coming at Neeci like that, but fuck her! Fuck her forever! If I never see her again, that’s fine by me. As I drive towards home, all I can think is that now Neeci and I are cleared for takeoff. Now we gotta decide which place we’re gonna live, but we can do that shit later.
For now, I'm still ready to celebrate.
We get back to my spot and go up, and I remember I got a bottle of champagne I can crack open. I get us some glasses and fill ‘em up. We make a toast and throw ‘em back. I drain the whole glass. Neeci looks at me with big eyes and slowly sips hers. I pour myself another one and drink it a bit slower. I try to refill her glass, but she says she’s had enough.
I ask, “Hey, do you wanna take a shower?”
She says, “Yeah.”
So we get in. It really does feel like a brand-new day.
I can tell she’s as relieved as I am.
We enjoy our shower and then step out into my room. She puts on my robe, and I just keep on my towel. She sits on the bed and starts putting on lotion. At first, I just lay there and watch. Then I say, “So what’re you feeling now?”
“I’m feeling good.”
“Is that just the liquor and the sex?”
“Ha ha! No. It's everything. How’d you feel?”
“Shit, blessed. I was really worried for a minute. But now that’s behind us.”
“So, I guess we’ve got some things to talk about, huh?”
“Yeah, but not tonight. We’re not done celebrating yet.”
I sit up and take the lotion from her hands. Then, I get up and start kissing her lips then down her neck. I keep going to her chest and take my time at each breast. She’s breathing fast and moaning, as I flick my tongue at her nipples and suck. I start feeling my way down south, then I take my finger and start making circles on her clit. The whole time, I'm making a path with my tongue down there, too. I take my finger a lil’ lower and feel that hot, wet spot. She starts shivering and shit.
Finally, I'm face to face with it, and I just dive inside with my tongue, kissing, sucking, flicking my tongue, working my fingers, just doing it all. She starts squirming away, so I grab ahold of her hips with my hands and just let my mouth do the work. I can feel she’s about to blow. Even when I feel her bucking and screaming, I don’t stop; I just go faster.
She can barely take it and tries to squirm away from me, but I don't let go until I'm ready. When I finally pull back, I’ve got her juices dripping all down my chin. I wipe it with my towel and climb up on top to get to the action. The way I'm feeling, I'm ready to raw it, but with the shit I just went through, I grab a condom. I ain’t tryna be no daddy, no time soon. I get everything on, get in position, and get ready to claim my prize.
The next few days are pretty uneventful, just how I like it. I went over to my mama’s house to finally tell her about the shit with Jaynie. Of course, she says I need to be more careful, but she's glad that it didn't turn out to be mine. Plus, her silly ass was talking about how she still too young and fine to be a grandmother. I just laugh at her and promise she still has a bit more time.
Neeci’s been focused on tryna get herself ready for the big show. I don't blame her. This shit could really lead to things. I still feel like she might leave a nigga when she gets on, but I support her. She’s put down a helluva performance at the Coffee Cat. She even did a new song, clearly about my situation, called “Almost”. It’s always loud after her performances, but you could feel the place quaking. I knew she was ready for her big gig.
She spent most of that night rehearsing and making final decisions on what songs she was gonna sing. Finally, I made her lay down and get some rest.
This morning, she is jittery as fuck. This must be what I looked like on the way to the test results. I try to calm her down with some breakfast and a lil’ morning sex, but she’s still shook. She stays looking scared all day, no matter what I do. Finally, it’s time to get off and get ready for the show. She looks like she’s gonna throw up. I get her out and in the car, and then I drive. It seems like she tryna play music to make herself feel better. I try to, too, but she ain’t hearing me. Hopefully her mama or somebody can do better.
We get back to her spot, take showers, and put on our clothes. She’s pacing up and down, strumming the guitar as we wait for everybody to get there so we can caravan it to Morgan State. First, my mama and sister get there. They both try to make Neeci feel better. It works a lil’ bit. Then her mama gets there with Mocha and Shawna. Shawna’s all hype, bigging up Neeci, talking about how she a big star and how she about to be rich and shit. This makes Neeci laugh, which I'm glad to see. We all go down to leave. Everybody gets in their cars and take off.
Neeci still look nervous, so I take her hand and give it a squeeze. She looks at me and smiles, then squeezes back.
I start with my big pep talk. “Yo baby, you’re gonna rock this shit. You’re gonna make these motherfuckas forget who they came to see. They’re gonna be like, ‘Who is this, and why the fuck isn’t
her name ain’t up in lights?’ That whole fucking campus is gonna feel you on some Beyoncé-type shit. It’s gonna be videos all over the net, and people are gonna be tryna find you and shit. Imma have to be your bodyguard for real.”
Whole time I'm saying this shit, she’s just cracking up. I’m glad she can focus on me and not on no bullshit thoughts about how she can’t do it. I know she can. I ain’t just saying this shit. I know she about to wreck it. And soon, the whole world’s gonna know her name.
When we get in the building and get our passes, it starts feeling real. Only two of us can go back with her. I figure she’s probably gonna pick her mama and Shawna, but she reaches for my hand. Everybody else goes and takes their seats. Me, her, and her mama go back, so she can get ready.
When we get back, she asks me to look and see if I can see the crowd. I find a spot and look out. Damn, it’s a lot of people. I try to tell her this without freaking her out, but I don't know if I can. When I say it’s packed, she looks spooked. Her mama comes to give her a hug and tells her that she’s got it. I step back so they can have their own lil’ moment.
When they tell her, she has to go get in position. Her eyes get big, and her mother gives her another squeeze. She reaches for me, and I step forward to give her a kiss.
I whisper in her ear, “You’re already a star, babe. Go show ‘em.”
She nods her head and walks off to take her place. Me and her mama go to find our seats, so we can see the show. Just before we step out, I look over at Neeci one last time to make sure she’s good. When I see her standing there, back straight, guitar in place, staring straight ahead, I know she’s in her zone. She’s about to kill it!
Me and Ms. Lee go sit down with everyone else. There’s so many people in this gym. I hope Neeci will be okay. I sit next to my mama, on the other side of Mocha. As I sit, Shawna leans over to me and says, “Ay, we just heard about this huge talent showcase for singers that’s about to go down. They’re saying the winner is guaranteed to blow. We gotta get Neeci in it.”
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