“Yeah, I’m fine, Mrs. Phillips. Just tired.” As if to prove a point, she shoved a piece of waffle into her mouth. It had the taste and texture of wet cardboard, but Lucy chewed mechanically, and forced it down her throat, trying not to throw it straight back up.
“I hope Megan hasn’t been keeping you up with her coughing too much. I’m afraid this trip hasn’t been much fun for either of you, has it?”
“Oh no, it’s been great. It wasn’t Megan, I…” Lucy thought as fast as she could. “I was up late, listening to music. It’s my own fault.” She knew she was a terrible liar and stopped talking before anyone realized she was doing so.
Jenson made a small coughing noise, but Lucy refused to allow herself to look up at him as she felt the blush creeping up her neck and onto her face. Thankfully, Megan wasn’t sat at the breakfast table with them to dispute Lucy’s lie.
“That’s fine, Lucy. We’ll be leaving right after breakfast, and you can rest in the car. We have a long drive ahead of us.” Megan’s mom smiled at her softly, making Lucy feel guilty for lying to them all.
She didn’t relish the thought of being trapped in an enclosed space with the entire Phillips family, hiding things. She wasn’t the only one with something to hide, but she was too scared to look at Jenson to see if he looked as worried as she felt. She just hoped Megan wouldn’t know she was keeping secrets.
Megan trudged into the room, as if thinking about her had summoned her.
“Morning.”
“How are you feeling, honey?” Mrs. Phillips asked her daughter.
“Much better. Do we have any orange juice?” Megan’s eyes scanned the table heaving with breakfast food and drinks.
The conversation around the table picked up, and no one noticed that Lucy didn’t contribute as much as she normally would. Eventually, she excused herself and carried her plate through to the kitchen where she robotically went through the motions of washing it whilst staring out of the window at the clouds rolling towards the cabin. Lucy took them for a bad sign that her day wasn’t going to improve in any way and sighed heavily.
“Did you say something to my sister?”
Lucy turned to find Jenson standing in the doorway. As soon as she made a split second of eye contact, he crossed the room and dumped his plate in the sink. Lucy couldn’t help herself and looked up into his clear blue eyes, finding curiosity and questions in them. But, the kitchen, with his family just beyond the doorway, was not the place to attempt to talk to him. Yet, as she wiped the worktop down, it didn’t stop Lucy. She moved closer to Jenson and kept her voice low.
“Not yet, but I am going to tell her about last night.”
“It’s none of her business, Lucy.”
“Yes, it is. I’m her best friend, and you’re her brother. She and I never hide secrets from one another, we-”
“Lucy? Are you still in the kitchen?” Mrs. Phillips’ voice made the two of them jump as she entered the kitchen. “Ah, there you both are. Jenson, go and help your dad pack up the car as soon as your bags are ready.”
“Sure thing, Mom. I’m almost done.”
“My bag’s ready to go.” Lucy told Mrs. Phillips, who asked her to bring it outside, so it could be loaded into the car. Using the instruction as an excuse to leave the kitchen, she threw the dish cloth onto the worktop and tried not to leave the kitchen at a dead run.
Moments later, she was back downstairs in the lounge, once again alone with Jenson who was finishing up packing his bag. Trying to be as casual as possible, she took a deep breath and walked past him.
“Don’t tell anyone, okay?” he said under his breath, but still loud enough for her to hear him.
For a heartbeat, Jenson did nothing but watch her from beneath the hair that had fallen across his forehead and eyes. Slowly, his lips turned up into a smile, and he brushed his hair away from his eyes. She nodded, even though she was going to regret it.
“Our little secret.”
* * *
“What are you sketching?” The question made Lucy squeak and smash her hand into the metal spirals on the edge of the notebook still sat on her lap. She turned to look at Jenson.
“Sorry, what was that?” she asked, thankful she’d closed the sketchbook.
“I asked what you were sketching. You’ve been staring at your notebook for over an hour.”
That was unexpected news. Lucy looked down at the closed book in her lap, scared to open it for him to see the pencil sketch she’d been working on.
“Have I? I was just thinking.”
“About?”
“Oh, work. Nothing spectacular.”
“Really? I think it’s exciting.” His tone of voice made it clear he didn’t mean what he was saying, and Lucy barely suppressed the urge to roll her eyes at him.
“Yeah. Trying to work out what I should do for my next show.”
“Show?”
Lucy hadn’t expected a conversation to strike up, but it had, so she decided she may as well go along with it. Slowly, she turned to face Jenson who removed his sunglasses and threw them onto the dashboard.
“I’m an artist. I create pieces of art and paintings like that ‘oversized paperweight’ in the back. I show them in a gallery on occasion in the hopes people like them enough to buy one.” Admittedly, the painting in his trunk was bigger than any she’d done before, but it was for a special occasion.
“Ah, got it. I must admit, I thought your apartment looked pretty artsy. Anyone else living there with you?”
“Not since Meg moved out to New York, no.”
“Megan said your boyfriend couldn’t make the road trip. What happened?”
Why did it feel like Jenson was judging her in much the same way Megan did over the phone? Also, why did him mentioning her having a boyfriend cause a weird bubble of feelings she couldn’t quite identify to appear in her stomach?
“He’s at work.”
“Well, that’s unfortunate.”
Lucy was confused at his words and bland tone.
“How so?” She looked around as the car changed direction. “Why are we pulling off the freeway?”
Jenson took an approaching turn off the freeway and into the parking lot of a roadside diner. It seemed to Lucy that he slammed the parking brake a little too hard before turning to look at her, his blue eyes seeming to pin her to her seat.
“His priorities are in the wrong place,” he said, his voice hard. Lucy couldn’t understand why he was talking this way. Pushing the weird feeling in her stomach away, she started to get pissed at him lecturing her on her relationship.
“He’s landed a highly coveted residency at one of the most prestigious hospitals in the city; hell, the state. I’d say his priorities are right where they need to be right now.” It was easy to say the words, but it didn’t stop her from still feeling a little disappointed at Matthew letting her down last minute.
“If it were me…” Jenson’s words hung in the air as he moved his eyes over Lucy’s face. She felt naked under his stare, naked and starved of oxygen. “If it were me, there would be no way I would let the woman I love drive cross-country with a man I’d never met.” Without another word, Jenson climbed out of the car, and casually walked towards the diner. Lucy didn’t correct him about him being someone Matthew had never met.
“Where are you going?” Lucy called after him. Jenson turned and flashed her a wide smile.
“I’m getting a burger. Join me if you want, or wait there. I don’t know how long I’ll be.”
Lucy couldn’t believe what Megan had gotten her into by suggesting this shared trip, and she couldn’t believe the things Jenson had said about Matthew, despite a tiny part of her agreeing with him.
It was then she realized that she forgot to even tell Matthew she’d left a day early, and that she was with someone. With all her worrying about having to see Jenson again, and being alone with him for so long, the thought had completely slipped her mind.
She reached into her bag and pul
led out her phone. Quickly, she dialed Matthew’s cell phone number.
The phone rang twice before Matthew answered.
“Matthew Stone.” He sounded out of breath; Lucy obviously called at an awkward time.
“Hey, it’s me.”
“Lucy. Is everything okay?”
“Yeah, I-”
“Look, can I call you back later? I really shouldn’t be on the phone right now. I’m about to start my rounds.”
“I’m just calling to tell you I left for Boston this morning.”
“What?” Incredulity filled Matthew’s voice.
“Yeah, you see… Megan’s brother was leaving today, and she thought it would be a good idea for us to travel together, so rather than travel all that way alone, I decided to share the journey with him. You remember Jenson, right?”
“And this was so important you needed to call me at work?”
“You’re not angry that I left without telling you, or that I’m travelling with another guy?”
“Are you a big girl or not, Lucy?” The question confused her, but he continued speaking before she could answer it. “Honey, I trust you. You’ve never given me reason not to. You make your decisions, and I make mine. I don’t want us to be one of those couples that can’t make a decision without the input of the other person. I’m secure enough in my masculinity to trust the judgement of the woman I love.”
“You’re right. I don’t know what I was thinking.”
“I really have to get back to work. Are we good?”
“Yeah, we’re good.”
“Okay. Stay safe, I love you.”
“I love you too.” Lucy ended the call and leaned back against her seat. Her eyes were drawn to the inside of the diner where she saw Jenson had been seated and was once again talking into his phone. She was glad to have spoken to Matthew, and that he trusted her. He’d never hurt her maliciously or on purpose, not like…
* * *
“We’re almost home kids,” Mrs. Phillips’ called out from the front of the car. Megan groggily readjusted the pillow she’d been leaning on and rubbed the sleep from her eyes. Lucy had tried so hard to get some sleep, but hadn’t been able to switch off enough to relax. All she could think about was talking to Megan and telling her about the kiss, even though she told Jenson she wouldn’t.
Over and over, she’d tried to work out the best way to tell her friend, but nothing sounded right. Trying not to think about it, she looked over at Jenson who was sat in front of her, oblivious to her inner turmoil thanks to the earbuds wedged into his ears.
How the hell did I get into this mess? Why couldn’t I have continued making Jenson think I hated him? Now all she could think about was how it felt to kiss him, to have the weight of his body above hers, the touch of his skin on hers as her legs wrapped around his waist…
Before her thoughts could completely betray her, the Phillips’ house came into view.
“Well, we made it. If we can get the car unloaded in the next thirty minutes, I’ll buy takeout for lunch.” Mr. Phillips spoke cheerfully as he pulled into the drive.
“Don’t look now, but lover boy’s waiting for you.” Megan nudged Lucy in the ribs with her elbow, indicating Matthew watching the car’s approach from the front steps. As she climbed out of the car, a wide smile split his handsome face. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a muscle clench in Jenson’s jaw as he removed his earbuds, following her out of his mom’s car.
“I thought you’d never get back.” Matthew walked over to Lucy, years of familiarity giving him the confidence to invade her personal space with a hug. He took the opportunity to whisper in her ear. “I missed you.”
Lucy didn’t know what to think. She’d missed her other best friend, but she hadn’t missed this side of him. Trying to make the most of it, she smiled back at him and leaned into his one-armed hug.
“I missed you too,” she said honestly, knowing he’d take it the wrong way, but she was too tired to work out how to make her statement sound any different. “I gotta help unload the car. Why don’t you wait inside?”
“I’ll help out.”
“That’s very much appreciated, Matthew. Could you take these sleeping bags upstairs for me please?” Mrs. Phillips filled his arms before he could respond, and Lucy and Megan stood and watched him disappear into the house.
“He’s like a puppy attached to its owner. Why can’t he leave you alone for just a few days?” Megan suddenly started coughing, staggering against the side of the minivan. “I’m sorry, Luce. I think I need to go and sit down.”
“Go and rest. I don’t want you passing out on me.” Lucy pushed her friend toward the house, relieved to have a moment to herself.
“Sorry for leaving you to do all the work with Jenson. Tell me if he starts bugging you, I’ll kick his ass for you.” Crap! Lucy had forgotten about him.
“Brat,” Jenson called out from the back of the van where he was unloading the trunk.
Megan left Lucy alone with her brother and her thoughts. As she worked on unloading the car, Lucy couldn’t help but think about Matthew. He was a nice guy, pretty good looking, and one day he would make a girl very happy. But, I’m not that girl. Jenson’s right that I shouldn’t sacrifice my happiness to supply someone else’s. How was she going to tell Matthew that?
A red car pulled up to the sidewalk, and Lucy recognized the seniors that piled out of it. One of the guys shouted over to Jenson.
“Hey, Jay. It’s about time you got home. Where’s the party?” Jenson sauntered over to the car and leaned over, his head now level with the driver-side window. Lucy couldn’t help but stare at his ass in his loose-fit jeans, which were now pulled tight against him.
“Hey, man. What’s up?”
As the guys did some weird handshake that Lucy had seen them do before, two girls approached them and latched themselves to Jenson’s side. The taller of the two, a redhead in very little clothing, pressed herself against his side as she spoke, her voice saccharine sweet.
“My parents are away for the weekend, and there’s a keg at my house. Come over later?”
The Jenson interacting with his friends was completely different to the Jenson Lucy had spent time with at the lake. Was it all an act, or did it just mean nothing to him? Lucy didn’t know what to do; she wanted to get his attention somehow, but didn’t want to make herself look like an idiot in front of him and his friends. In the end, fear won out and Lucy merely watched the group, and waited to see what would happen.
Jenson smiled down at the redhead before raising his eyes and looking at Lucy. Something flickered across his face that she couldn’t quite make out.
“Uh, I’m pretty beat. I dunno what I’m doing later.”
Lucy noticed that as he spoke, he didn’t look back over at her. Despite his apparent dismissal of the redhead, Lucy didn’t like the jealousy that washed over her. It wasn’t an emotion she was used to feeling, and after just one kiss, shouldn’t be feeling it about her best friend’s brother. She needed to get away from him as soon as she could.
Mrs. Phillips returned at that moment with an empty garbage bag for the trash that had piled up in the back of the car.
“Why don’t you go in and find Megan? Mr. Phillips and I can finish this off. I’ll put the takeout order in soon.” Lucy nodded, grateful for the chance to escape Jenson and his crowd of friends.
The takeout – Chinese food - arrived in less than an hour, but more of Jenson’s friends had descended on the Phillips’ house, welcoming their fearless leader home and filling the den with rowdy laughter. Seated at the table with Matthew, Lucy glanced around the room. Megan was missing, having gone up to rest in her bedroom after eating a little. Jenson was somewhere in the back yard with his friends. It might be the only chance she got to speak to Matthew, to let him down as lightly as she could. Before she was able to say anything, Matthew’s phone buzzed, and he looked down at it.
“My mom is on her way over to pick me up. I’m going to wait o
utside for her.”
“I’ll come and wait with you.”
Lucy followed him outside to the sidewalk, where they sat on a wall at the end of the Phillips’ drive to wait.
“How long were you waiting for us before we got back from our vacation?” She decided to make a little small talk. Although he’d text her and Meg, asking what time they’d be back home, she hadn’t expected to see him waiting for them.
“Less than an hour. I walked over from working with my math tutor.” They lapsed into silence for a few moments. “Did you give any thought to my question?” Matthew blurted out, breaking the peace between them, and Lucy’s stomach twisted with anxiety.
“Uh… about that-”
“Lucy, before you say anything. I know you don’t have the feelings for me that I have for you, but you haven’t really given me a chance. Maybe you could learn to think about me that way over time.” He obviously didn’t consider the time they’d spent as friends enough. “I mean, as a couple, doing couple things.” Maybe he had.
“Matthew, I-”
He grabbed hold of her face and pressed his lips to hers. The kiss was firm and hard; urgent, inexperienced, and messy. The complete opposite of Jenson’s, which was unfair for her to think. Lucy knew she shouldn’t let Matthew continue kissing her, but she couldn’t seem to move her arms to push him away. Surely, she could bear it a little longer to spare his pride, before telling him she couldn’t be his girlfriend, that things wouldn’t work between them.
When she let him move his tongue into her mouth, all smooth, soft, and uncertain. She couldn’t help but wonder where the butterflies were. Where was the excitement? The feelings that overcame Lucy when Jenson kissed her? When he just looked at her? There was nothing.
Tears began to well up in her eyes. It would be so much easier if she felt the same way as Matthew, but she didn’t. Finally, she pressed her hand against his chest and pushed him away, breaking the kiss. Matthew didn’t notice how upset she was as he licked his lips and looked at her with uncertainty.
Her Best Friend’s Brother Page 5