“Oh, no, no, no,” I chant, swishing my arms in an X shape through the air. “No dancing for me tonight. Nope. Not happening. I’m on babysitting duty.”
“Babysitting? There aren’t any kids here,” Kenna blurts, the rest of her margarita already gone.
Li elbows her. “She meant us.”
Kenna’s lips part in a perfect O. Pulling her brown hair over her shoulder she grins at me. “I knew that.”
Kenna’s not dumb. In fact, I think she’s one of those deceptively smart people, but sometimes things leave her mouth before she thinks.
“Chicken tenders and Dr. Pepper.” The waitress sets down my basket of tenders with honey mustard.
“Thanks.” I pick up a fry, chewing on the end of it. Kenna reaches for one and I playfully swat her hand away. “Get your own.”
Pouting her bottom lip she gives me puppy eyes. “Please, just one?”
“Fine.” I stick my tongue out at her and slide the basket her way. “Li, you want one?”
“Sure.” She shrugs, grabbing two and winking at me.
“Ooh, these are delicious. We need a whole basket.” Kenna hops up yet again, running off to find the waitress.
Li props her elbow on the table and her head in her hand. “Sometimes I wonder if that girl ever runs out of energy.”
“I don’t think she does.”
Kenna has the personality of someone who always has to be doing something or going somewhere. I don’t know her that well yet, it’s not like any of us have talked about the deep stuff or dark secrets of our pasts, but sometimes I think that she’s running from something.
Munching on a fry, I look around the bar to see if I recognize any familiar faces from my classes. I spot a girl from math class. She catches my eye and waves.
“I put an order in for us, Li.” Kenna slides onto the barstool, two fresh margaritas in hand. She gives one to Li, tilting her head to the side as she looks at me. “Are you sure you don’t want a drink? We can always Uber home if you change your mind.”
“I’m positive.”
I shudder at what happened last time, my chicken tenders suddenly sitting heavy in my stomach. I’ll never drink that much again. I’ve learned my limit and I won’t exceed it.
It isn’t long before the waitress drops off the food for Li and Kenna. They both dig in and I push my now empty basket to the side. Somehow in the thirty minutes we’ve been here the bar has become even more packed. Soon it’ll be standing room only. The press of bodies closing in makes me feel a tad claustrophobic, but I refuse to let it get to me too much.
Suddenly, the opening notes of One Direction’s What Makes You Beautiful comes on.
“It’s your song!” Kenna cries, pushing her basket aside.
“I was kidding about the One Direction thing,” I groan as she tugs my hand, pulling me from the chair.
“I don’t care, we’re dancing.”
“No, no, no,” I laugh, trying to escape her.
“Come on, it’ll be fun.” Li joins us, pushing at my back to help her get me on the dance floor.
“Yeah, but you guys are buzzed, I’m perfectly sober.”
“Who gives a shit?” Kenna smiles at me, eyes twinkling. “You only live once, so live. Make a fool of yourself, make out with a random guy, just dance.”
“Fine,” I agree reluctantly.
Fully on the dance floor now, the three of us start dancing, shout-singing the lyrics while we do. As hard as it is for me, in that moment I allow myself to let go. I’m not the girl whose whole life changed course thanks to a single moment. I don’t let guilt weigh me down. And I don’t give a single fuck what anyone watching might think.
Sweat quickly dampens my skin from the heat of lights and packed bodies.
I spin in a circle, singing the poppy song at the top of my lungs, when I get a prickle on the back of my neck like I’m being watched.
Turning to face the opposite direction I see Cole sitting at a table, beer in hand. He’s laughing at something one of his friends has said, but he’s not the one watching me.
Even across the room Mascen’s gray eyes have the ability to freeze me in place. A shiver makes its way down my spine and I feel my nipples tighten, probably visible through my shirt now if the way his eyes narrow are any indication.
Everything about him, from his stormy eyes, sharp cheekbones, and full lips, screams danger. He’s everything I should stay away from. Not just because I used to know him, but because my gut knows he’d ruin me in every possible way.
He frowns as he watches me, steepling his fingers in front of his lips. A black baseball cap sits backwards on his head.
Suddenly, his eyes leave me and that’s when I notice the blonde beside him leaning in to whisper in his ear. He shakes his head at whatever she says, muttering something in rapid succession. She rolls her eyes and gets up, moving to a different guy.
Swallowing, I force myself to look away from him.
I don’t feel like dancing anymore and thankfully the song ends giving me an easy escape.
The girls and I start back to the table, but I don’t make it far before a large muscular arm loops around me. I spin into the massive body, caught off guard. My hands flying up to a hard chest. Stupidly, I expect to see Mascen towering above me, but instead it’s Cole. His amber eyes glitter down upon me, his grin the kind of smile that should make my stomach do flips but I … I feel nothing.
“I haven’t seen you around in a while, Rory.” His smile is infectious and I can’t help finding myself smiling back. I hate to admit I’m surprised that he remembered me. I figured after the day he chased me down that’d be the last I’d ever see of him. Guys like him have plenty of girls to keep their interest. I’m not anyone special.
“I’ve been busy with class.” I tuck a piece of hair behind my ear, my head tilted back to look at him. I don’t remember him being so tall. I guess before I was too drunk to notice and the day on campus too surprised by his sudden appearance.
“Yeah, yeah, I get how that is. Been busy too.” He chuckles, the sound warm and husky, almost sexy sounding. “You wanna join us?” He points to his table and I glance over, catching Mascen’s narrowed gaze.
“I’m sorry.” I frown, rocking back on my heels. “I’m here with my friends.”
“Right, of course.” He continues to blind me with his bright smile. “How about a dance then?”
This time I’m the one to laugh, my cheeks heating. “Well, remember how that went last time?”
Somehow his smile grows impossibly bigger. “All the more reason to dance—I need to give you something to remember me by.”
Biting my lip, I glance back in the direction of the table Kenna and Li are at, but can’t see them. Blowing out a breath, I nod. “One dance.” I wiggle a finger, showing him I’m serious when I say one.
“Sure thing, beautiful.” He takes my hand, tugging me back onto the dance floor.
I don’t even know what song is playing, but I follow his lead.
Cole is a surprisingly good dancer, moving his feet and hips in time with the music. I let him guide me, laughing when I step on his toes by mistake.
“It’s okay,” he coaxes, “keep going.” His large hand settles low on my waist and he pulls me as close to him as I can get. His pelvis grinds into me to the beat of the song, his eyes never leaving mine. But while I try to return his look, I can still feel the searing gaze of Mascen following us. His eyes feel like a brand on the back of my neck. There’s a sting there I want to rub, but I don’t dare lift my hand to feel the skin. I know he’d get way too much satisfaction out of the gesture.
I let Cole spin me around, a giggle bursting out of my throat.
I feel free, light, as I dance with him. I never got to experience things like this before. When I wasn’t in school I was working. I didn’t have time for a social life. The hookups I had were about mutual satisfaction and not about genuinely getting to know each other.
The song ends, bleeding into another. I try t
o pull away from him anyway, but he grins down at me. “One more, pretty girl.”
I nod, because frankly I’m enjoying myself despite Mascen’s death glare from a distance. If he’s tried to warn Cole away from me it’s clearly not working. But from my brief interactions with him in the last month he doesn’t seem like the type to say anything at all. No, Mascen Wade is the kind of guy who keeps everything to himself, letting it build until one day he explodes, taking out innocent bystanders in the process.
It ends up being three more songs before Cole and I part. He heads back to his table and after a brief check in with the girls I make my way down the hall to the restroom. Slipping inside there’s thankfully one empty stall and I relieve my protesting bladder.
“Did you see Mascen tonight?” One girl says from in front of the mirrors, her conversation impossible not to hear.
“I know! Talk about moody and broody.” Another says. “He looks hot as hell pissed off, though.”
The first one gives a snort. “He’s hot any time. That baseball cap? I want him to fuck me while he wears that.”
I have to suppress my snicker as I pull up my pants and flush the toilet.
When I exit the stall they’ve left, so the sinks are empty. I wash my hands, taking in my flushed cheeks in the reflection of the mirror. A light sheen of perspiration clings to my skin and my hair has definitely looked better. But the smile on my face says it all. It’s the genuine happy smile of someone who isn’t afraid anymore.
Drying my hands, I open the door to leave the bathroom. A squeak flies out of my throat when a large hand closes around my wrist. The heat of the person pierces my skin, their intoxicating smell hitting me a second later.
Citrus and wood invades my senses, my brain whispering Mascen to me.
I find myself yanked into a dark closet and even though I can’t see him I feel him. His presence is always overwhelming but in the tiny closet I’m certain I’m going to suffocate from his proximity.
“Why are you here?” he growls, his breath fanning across my cheek, the slight smell of whiskey clinging to his lips. I bet it’s the most expensive kind the bar serves. Mascen doesn’t do cheap, and that’s exactly what he thinks I am.
“H-Here?” I stuttered, my heart racing—not in fear, but excitement. “Spending time with my roommates.” Somehow I manage to sound breathy, but sure of myself, my backbone firmly in place.
“Not here as in Harvey’s. Why are you at this school? Why Tennessee? Why are you suddenly in my life again? Invading my space. You’re every-fucking-where.” His lips are suddenly right beside my cheek, brushing against my sensitive skin with each and every word. I’m thankful for the fact he can’t see the goosebumps pimpling my skin or my hardening nipples begging for his touch. “I can’t fucking escape you.”
He grows quiet and I realize the questions I thought were rhetorical are in fact very real.
“I … you want an answer?”
“Yes, Sleeping Beauty, I want a fucking answer. That’s why I asked the question. I’m not in the habit of wasting words. Life’s too short not to say shit you mean.”
I can’t see him but I know he rolled his eyes at me.
“I … this is the school I wanted to go to.” I try to keep my voice calm, but I’m sure he notices the quiver to my words, all because of his proximity. “I got a scholarship, so here I am. As for bumping into each other…” I gather my breath, because he’s stealing all the oxygen in the small room. “It’s a large campus, but not that large.”
“Did you know I went here?”
His words take me aback. “Excuse me? Are you implying I chose this school because I found out you went here? I haven’t seen you since I was eight years old. Don’t flatter yourself Mascen.”
He lets out a humorless laugh. “Still ironic, though, huh, Princess? Out of all the universities in the entire United States you choose this one. Where I am. Reunited once again.”
“Why did you really pull me into the closet?” My pulse stutters when I feel the brush of his nose against my neck. “I don’t think it was to discuss why I’m attending school here.”
His laughter rumbles through his chest and I feel the vibration in mine. “I wanted to tell you to stay away from Cole.”
“Why?” My treacherous breath catches when his lips brush against mine. It’s not a kiss. His lips are there and then gone.
Against my right ear, he leans in so his mouth touches the sensitive skin with every word. “Because you don’t belong to him.”
The word comes out as a growl, making my breath catch audibly. Before I can find words, he opens the door, light flooding inside for one second, and then he’s gone leaving me wondering if he was ever there at all.
Mascen Wade seems more like a ghost than a human.
Chapter Twelve
Mascen
Leaving Aurora behind in the closet, I walk up to the table, downing my fresh drink the waitress left in my absence. Conversation continues at the table, my friends oblivious to my thunderous mood. Slapping bills down on the table, I announce, “I’m out. Enjoy your night. There’s more than enough to cover another round.”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa. Leaving? Now?” Teddy looks at me incredulously, his large hand wrapped around a beer bottle. He flicks his blond hair out of his eyes, narrowing his gaze. “What the fuck man? Not having any fun?”
“Just not in the mood.”
I dig my keys out of my pocket, twirling the keychain around my finger.
I’m not going to stand there and argue with them, so I lift my hand in a goodbye wave. Cole arches his brow, approaching from the bar now with nachos.
“Leaving?” I nod in response. “Cool, see you later.”
At least Cole knows it’s a waste to try to convince me to stay.
Pushing my way through the crowded bar, I ignore the guys trying to pull me into conversation and the girls hoping to slip me their number.
My car is parked right up front and I slip inside, pulling out in such a hurry that the gravel kicks up a cloud of dust so thick I can’t see Harvey’s in the rearview mirror.
I should go home, but I know I won’t be able to clear my head there.
Instead, I find myself showing up at the local batting cages. I might be Aldridge’s star pitcher, but it doesn’t mean I don’t get satisfaction from hitting some balls either.
The lot is pretty much empty, which bodes well for me. But I’ve never run into any of the guys from the team here anyway. Hopping out, I grab my gym bag and head inside.
“Hey, Mark.” I greet the owner, tossing up my hand.
Mark lowers the motocross magazine he was reading, narrowing his eyes. “What’s wrong with you? You only show up here when you’re in a pissy mood.”
He’s not lying. “Just life,” I reply with. “You okay that I’m here?”
The gray-haired man lets out a gruff laugh. “You’re always welcome here, Wade. Now get in there and out of my hair.”
I shake my head at the man, sliding twenty bucks across the counter. He narrows his eyes, since he’s always telling me not to pay, but knows better than to argue with me now.
Nodding at him, I open the door, heading for the room with the cages. I pick the one on the far end. It’s the one I always choose if it’s available.
Setting my bag down, I pull out my gloves, grab a bat and let all thoughts empty from my mind.
* * *
“Dude, where have you been?” Cole blurts, the moment I come upstairs from the garage. It’s late, after two in the morning. Mark lives in a house behind the cages and let me stay as long as I promised to lock up when I left. I look around, half-expecting to see Rory here. Thankfully, it looks like Cole is the only one home.
“Went to the cages.” Striding across the room to the kitchen I grab a bottle of water from the fridge, leaving my back to him.
“You didn’t want to hang at the bar with us, but you went to the cages instead?”
I roll my eyes, but he can’t see.
“Would you be as perplexed if I’d been with a girl?”
He makes a noise in his throat as I close the fridge. “You’ve been weird lately. Weirder than you normally are.”
Twisting the cap back on the water I set it on the counter and swipe an orange from the center bowl.
“Thanks, man. I feel the love.”
The leather of the couch protests and I know he’s getting up. The next moment he stands beside me at the kitchen counter, his arms braced on the stone. “What’s going on?”
I look up from the orange peels, meeting my friend’s eyes. “Nothing.”
This time he’s the one to roll his eyes. “You’re so full of shit. You think no one can smell it, or they’ll overlook it because of your last name. I’m not that person. I’m your best fucking friend. Don’t bullshit me.”
I twist my lips, my fingers sticky with juice. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
He shakes his head. “Whatever, dude. You know, sometimes I wonder why I put up with your sorry ass, but then I remember I care about you. You’re like a brother, and yeah, you might be pissing me off, but whenever you decide the great Mascen Wade wants to talk about it I’ll be waiting.”
“I don’t talk about my feelings,” I bite out when he turns to leave the kitchen.
He looks back, one hand braced on the doorframe. “That may be so, but you need to. I don’t know what the fuck you have all bottled up inside you, but something tells me it’s more than you want to acknowledge. If you don’t one of these days it’s going to suffocate you.”
I bite the inside of my cheek as he stares at me a second longer. With an exhale, he leaves the kitchen. A second later the TV turns off in the living room. Another second and the stairs creak with his steps.
“Fuck!” I toss the half-peeled orange off the counter. It slams into a cabinet before falling to the floor. I thrust my sticky fingers through the strands of my hair.
Crouching on the floor I pick up the mess, tossing the ruined orange in the trash before wiping a damp towel over the tacky residue left behind.
I have so little control over anything anymore, least of all myself.
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