by Chris Colfer
“We’ll just have to make sure we succeed, then,” Conner said.
Within the hour, Red climbed up from the lower deck with a proud smile on her face. “Eh-hem,” she said, getting all of their attention. “Lady, wolf, and gentlemen—I would like to introduce to you my latest creation. She may be a rough-porridge-eating-fugitive by day, but tonight I would like to introduce you to the new and improved Goldilocks!”
Goldilocks walked up the steps behind her. She was wearing one of Red’s corsets with a long red gown, a hooded cape, and matching gloves. Red had even put her hair up in a stylish do similar to her own and had painted some rouge on her cheeks. There was no doubt about it—Goldilocks looked stunning.
“Goldie…” Jack said. “You look… you look… gorgeous.” He looked like a teenager in love.
“Thank you,” Goldilocks said and blushed. She didn’t get too many opportunities to look pretty for him.
“You’re welcome,” Red said and swayed happily. “The corset is a little small for her. Poor thing, her waist isn’t quite as slender as mine.”
“That’s because I’m hiding three daggers under here,” Goldilocks said. She had trouble balancing in a pair of Red’s high heels. “I don’t know how you walk in these shoes—they’re completely impractical.”
“I don’t know how you walk in them, either; they’re meant for feet almost half the size of yours—I’m only teasing, Goldie, put that knife away!” Red said and ran to the other side of the ship.
The harp grew bored below them and began to play a soft melody for herself that could be heard on the upper deck. Jack grabbed Goldilocks’s waist.
“Care to dance?” he asked.
“Oh, Jack.” Goldilocks laughed.
“Come on, when’s the last time we got to dance?” Jack asked.
“The last time I believe involved a witch throwing hot stones at our feet,” she said.
Jack chuckled at the memory and spun her around. They danced to the harp’s tune under the starry night sky, gazing into each other’s eyes.
“Would you do me the honor?” Froggy asked Red, and offered her his hand with an overly pronounced bow.
“I’d be delighted!” Red said. They didn’t dance quite as smoothly as Jack and Goldilocks—Red kept stepping on Froggy’s large webbed feet—but both couples enjoyed the time for all it was worth. The twins smiled as they looked on, knowing this would be something they’d remember forever.
It was a few minutes before dawn and the Granny was still a ways away from Mermaid Bay.
“We’re not going to make it to the bay before sunrise,” Jack said from behind the steering wheel. “We need to put the ship down before we’re caught.”
“We can travel the rest of the way by water,” Goldilocks said. “We’ll land it in the Sleepy River and then sail down the river into the bay.”
“That’s brilliant!” Froggy said.
“Very well,” Jack said. “Everyone prepare the ship for a water landing!”
Goldilocks took over the steering wheel. Froggy grabbed hold of the sail’s ropes and flattened them to the sides of the balloon. Jack pulled the lever under the ship’s flame and it diminished. The Granny began to descend. Goldilocks aligned the ship with the wide river flowing on the ground below. The twins weren’t sure what to expect. Would a water landing be rougher or easier?
In a few moments they had their answer. The ship dove into the water, coming to a painful, abrupt stop and nearly submerging itself completely on impact. The entire deck and its crew were drenched.
Conner spat out a mouthful of water. “Thank goodness that was easy,” he said sarcastically.
“I’m on my side and can’t get up!” the harp called up from the lower deck. “The wolf is licking my face! Can someone please help me before he gets any other ideas?”
Froggy hopped down the steps to assist her. Red wrung her wet dress over the side of the ship; she was not enjoying life at that moment.
The ship sailed peacefully down the river as the sun rose farther into the sky. Not long after, Mermaid Bay came into view ahead. The ship was just about to spill into the bay from the river when it came to another abrupt stop, knocking everyone to the deck floor.
Jack jumped to his feet and ran to the front of the ship to look overboard. “The ship is stuck in the delta!” he said. The twins joined him and had a look for themselves. The Granny was only feet away from fully being in the bay but was stuck in a very narrow channel.
“Oh, great,” Conner grunted. “Now what?”
Just as the others were about to panic, something very colorful caught Alex’s eye. “Look!” she said and excitedly pointed down at the water. The thing swam under the ship and disappeared from sight.
“Where did it go?” Jack asked.
“Alex! Conner! Jack!” Froggy yelled from the back of the ship. “Take a look at this!”
They joined him at the back of the ship and gazed into the river below. It was difficult to make out what was happening through the ripples of the water, but Alex and Conner recognized it right away. Dozens of mermaids had gathered behind the Granny and were slowly pushing the ship through the delta.
They had pale skin and long, colorful tails that matched their long, beautiful hair—just as the twins had remembered. The ship began to move through the channel little by little, thanks to the mermaids’ efforts.
“Well, I’ll be darned,” Froggy said, amazed at what he was witnessing.
The Granny edged forward bit by bit, finally squeezing through the channel and splashing into the bay.
“That was so kind of them,” Alex said.
“Why were they helping us?” Conner asked.
Goldilocks whistled from behind the steering wheel. “Speaking of mysteries, what is that?” She nodded to something ahead of them.
In the distance, hovering majestically in the misty bay air, was a large cluster of sea foam. It was shaped in the silhouette of a mermaid and shimmered in the sunlight, continuously rejuvenating itself.
Alex grabbed Conner’s arm. “It’s the Sea Foam Spirit!” she said.
“Come again?” Froggy asked.
“It’s the Little Mermaid,” Conner explained to the others. “Or at least it used to be. I wonder what she’s doing here.”
“You think she knows we’re going to visit the Sea Witch?” Alex asked.
The Granny sailed closer to the foam until it hovered directly in front of the ship. “Hello, Alex. Hello, Conner,” the Sea Foam Spirit said. The others were shocked to hear her speak.
Red rubbed her eyes—she didn’t believe what she was seeing. “Is this clump of bubbles a friend of yours?” she asked the twins, as if she was making a judgment against their character.
“What are you doing here?” Alex asked the Sea Foam Spirit.
“I’ve come to speak with you,” the Sea Foam Spirit said.
“You’re trying to stop us from going to visit the Sea Witch, aren’t you?” Conner said.
“On the contrary, I’ve come to assist you,” the spirit said. “I may be the world’s greatest cautionary tale when it comes to matters of the Sea Witch, but I’ve come to offer you help. I’ve heard about your quest—we all have.”
The spirit gestured to the water below, where all the mermaids had gathered. The bay looked like a colorful koi pond.
“Who told you about our quest?” Alex asked.
“No one told me; I heard your thoughts,” the Sea Foam Spirit said.
“I thought you could only hear and feel thoughts expressed in or near the water,” Conner said, remembering what he had learned during their last encounter.
“As the snow melts down the mountains and pours into rivers that lead to the sea, it brings with it the thoughts of those who have traveled across it.”
Conner hooted. “So much for privacy,” he said.
“How can you help us?” Alex asked the spirit. “Can you take us to the Sea Witch?”
“I cannot leave the bay,” the
Sea Foam Spirit said. “But I have asked an old friend to escort you to the depths of the sea where the Sea Witch dwells.”
“That would be terrific! Thanks!” Conner said. “Who is your friend? Are they solid, at least?”
“Very,” the Sea Foam Spirit said.
Suddenly, a gigantic splash erupted from the bay and a sea turtle of epic proportions emerged from the water. He was as big as their ship. The entire crew was flabbergasted and their eyes grew to the size of tennis balls.
Conner leaned closely to Froggy. “I never thought I’d see a reptile as big as you,” he whispered.
“The Great Sea Turtle is very old,” the Sea Foam Spirit said. “He can’t hear very well, but he will escort you to the Sea Witch.”
“How far away is the Sea Witch’s lair?” Jack asked.
“It’s a day’s journey to the bottom of the ocean,” the Sea Foam Spirit said. “But the Great Sea Turtle can get you there in a quarter of the time.”
“How are we supposed to breathe?” Goldilocks asked.
The Sea Foam Spirit extended both of her hands and six white scallop shells appeared. They each had a seaweed band around them, like they were oceanic surgical masks. The Sea Foam Spirit passed them to the men and women aboard the ship.
“These will supply you with air while you’re under the water,” she said.
“Do they come in pink?” Red asked.
Froggy passed on his shell. “I’ll be fine,” he said. “Being a frog has its perks, you know.” He took a very deep breath and his throat expanded into a large bubble.
“Awesome.” Conner chuckled and poked it.
The Sea Foam Spirit nodded to the Great Sea Turtle. “It’s time,” she instructed.
The turtle drifted toward the ship and placed his front flipper gently on the bow like a drawbridge. Jack and Froggy armed themselves with daggers and rope, then led the others over the turtle’s flipper and onto his shell. They gathered at the front of his shell and each held tightly to the edge.
“Good luck. May all the spirits of the sea be with you,” the Sea Foam Spirit said; then she disappeared.
The turtle drifted away from the Granny and gradually sank into the water. The water was colder than they expected, and they all gave small yelps.
It was very strange to breathe from the shells. They inhaled normally but a trail of tiny bubbles fluttered above them every time they exhaled. It was like they were magically scuba diving. And just like with regular scuba diving, there was plenty to see.
The entire bay floor was covered in bright coral and plants. Mermaids and fish of all colors and sizes swam through it like it was a vast underwater city, their bodies shimmering in the rippled sunlight from above. It was a beautiful sight and the twins made sure to seize every moment of it.
Soon they left the bay and the Great Sea Turtle traveled deeper into the endless ocean ahead. The ocean floor wasn’t nearly as colorful as the bottom of the bay. It was very bare, with nothing but rocks and seaweed spread across it.
An enormous underwater canyon was ahead of them, and the turtle dived down into it. It had jagged edges and sharp rocks along its sides, and the canyon floor was littered with ghostly empty shells—it was like an underwater graveyard. They knew they were close.
The turtle swam through the canyon, and the twins saw a wide entrance to an underwater cave ahead. The cave was surrounded with small glowing lights, inviting and decorative. However, as they got closer, the twins realized the lights were the glowing antennae of a school of anglerfish surrounding the entrance to the cave. They were terrifying, with their sharp, toothy overbites and the spikes down their spines—they were the monsters of the sea.
The anglerfish glared at them as the turtle passed into the cave. To their discomfort, the inside of the cave was filled with even more of the scary-looking fish. They peered out from behind stalagmites and stalactites. Their antennae gave off the only light in the cave.
Imprisoned behind nets and rock cages throughout the cave were other sea creatures. Swordfish, sea horses, octopi, manatees, and whales all looked somberly at the passing turtle, hoping it wouldn’t suffer the same fate. The anglerfish watched over the creatures like prison guards.
The turtle arrived at the entrance to a long tunnel. As if the twins hadn’t seen enough to give them nightmares for years after, the tunnel was being watched over by a group of great white sharks. They lingered eerily in the water, staring sinisterly at the turtle and his passengers.
The sea turtle moaned at the sharks. Nothing happened. The turtle moaned again and the sharks slowly separated and let him pass into the tunnel. They turned chillingly as he passed; all they needed was one threatening gesture and the sharks would have food for a week.
They traveled through the tunnel for a few moments and then surfaced in a cave within the cave. To their astonishment, this cave was filled with air.
“We can breathe down here!” Alex said, and they all took off their shell masks.
“The Sea Witch has to appeal to her human customers, too,” Froggy said, and his throat deflated to normal.
They climbed off the turtle and walked across the floor in single file. They all shivered terribly—their bodies were so confused as to what temperature to be.
“Good turtle, stay!” Conner said to the Great Sea Turtle. The turtle squinted at him and then spat a stream of water in his face. “Sorry, didn’t mean to patronize.”
“Oh my lord!” Red gasped and tears filled her eyes. “Look up there!”
She pointed above them to one of the most gruesome sights the twins had ever seen. Dozens of mermaids were hung upside down from their tails across the dome-shaped cave ceiling. They were all weak and frail; some breathed heavily while others didn’t breathe at all; some were just skeletons, while others were close to becoming one.
“What are they doing up there?” Alex said, covering her mouth in horror. She wanted to save them all but knew it wouldn’t be possible, at least not today.
“Those are probably the Sea Witch’s customers who couldn’t fulfill their bargains,” Froggy said.
Jack was wide-eyed and white-faced, terrified they would be leaving Goldilocks to suffer in the same conditions. She implored him to stick to their plan in spite of what they saw, even though they could all tell she was hesitant herself.
The group traveled farther into the cave. A whale’s rib cage was positioned like a grand staircase leading up to another, smaller cave. Jellyfish carcasses covered the entrance like a curtain. A large rocky platform at the base of the ribs acted like a small stage—the Sea Witch must have enjoyed looking down on her customers.
“Are you ready for this?” Conner asked Goldilocks.
She nodded, mustering up as much bravery as she could. Jack kissed her as though it would be the last time. The passionate display normally would have made the twins look away, but they all shared Jack’s reluctance as he said good-bye to the woman he loved.
“I love you,” he whispered into her ear.
“Likewise,” Goldilocks said and winked at him.
The team huddled together, reiterating their course of action.
“All right, we are ruthless pirates who have kidnapped Queen Red,” Froggy said and gestured to the twins. “I have been cursed to live out my days as a frog and you have been cursed to remain adolescents.”
The twins nodded. “Aye aye, captain,” Conner said and saluted.
“How fun! It’s like a little play!” Red said and excitedly clapped her hands. “Who will I be?”
“You’ll be hiding behind, with me,” Jack said. “We’ll be backup in case they run into any problems. Let’s hide back here,” Jack said and pulled the young queen behind a large rock. “It’s always best to have backup.”
“Let’s make this a little more believable,” Froggy said, taking the rope off his shoulder and tying it loosely around Goldilocks. She legitimately looked like a prisoner now. “Shall we?”
The four of them traveled up to
the rocky platform while Jack and Red hid behind a large rock.
“Hello?” Froggy called up the whale ribs. “Sea Witch? We’ve come to make a trade!”
Their anticipation made time go by incredibly slowly as they waited for the Sea Witch to appear. Just when they began wondering if she would ever show her face, they heard horrible scraping noises from beyond the jellyfish curtain. A series of heavy footsteps—several footsteps—sounded through the cave, like a giant spider was approaching.
The Sea Witch appeared through the jellyfish curtain. Her skin was pale turquoise and scaled. Tall blades of seaweed grew straight out of her head like hair. She had a wide face, with wide turquoise lips and round insect-like black eyes. She wore a gown made of dark shell that had several mussels and sea polyps growing on it. She walked on six legs, and a pair of claws peeked out from under her gown, as though she were part crustacean.
She cuddled a plump cuttlefish in her arms, stroking it like it was a small slimy pet.
“Customers,” the Sea Witch hissed in a snake-like voice. “Welcome, fellow vertebrates, to my underwater underworld.”
The twins were shivering from being so cold, the Sea Witch didn’t notice they were trembling from fear as well.
“Get me out of here!” Goldilocks yelled, playing the part of a captive Red. “It smells so nasty in here! I want to go home! I want to be back in my castle!”
“And who might we have here?” inquired the Sea Witch, interested by the choice of words.
“We have brought you Queen—” Froggy started, but Goldilocks interrupted him.
“I’ll introduce myself, thank you!” she said, playing the part impressively well. “I am Queen Red Riding Hood of the Red Riding Hood Kingdom! And if you don’t release me at once I will have my soldiers swim down here and make ink of you all!”
The Sea Witch’s eyes widened. Not only was she buying it, she was intrigued.
“A captured queen, you say?” she asked. “And you wish to trade her for what?”
“We’ve come for your jewels,” Froggy said.