by Chris Colfer
Alex closed her eyes and, possibly for the first time all day, exhaled. She turned back to her brother as he brushed the limp vines off his body. He, along with everyone else in the coliseum, stared at her with enough pride to knock off the ceiling had there been one. A thirteen-year-old girl in a headband had been able to do what none of the crowned monarchs could.
As Ezmia withered away, she fell to the floor and crawled on her hands and knees. A small cackle came from her as she grabbed hold of the Wand of Wonderment left on the floor.
“Alex, behind you!” Conner screamed.
Alex turned to see Ezmia pointing the Wand directly at her. As she held the Wand, her body and her magic were restored. Her hair flowed above her head, the fire in the crater ignited again, and the vines began to vibrate with life and started dragging people back onto the walls.
Without time to think, Conner grabbed hold of Goldilocks’s sword and ran toward his sister, slicing the vines as they tried seizing him.
Ezmia glared at Alex with an evil smile on her face and in her eyes. “Maybe I was wrong,” the Enchantress said. “Maybe I will have my own happily-ever-after, after all!”
Alex froze where she stood, petrified to her core. She couldn’t believe how quickly the situation had changed—in a matter of seconds she had gone from victory to defeat. A bright blast shot out of the Wand and toward her. Alex closed her eyes, knowing it was the end—this was how she was going to die.
“Nooo!” Rumpelstiltskin yelled. He came out of nowhere and jumped in front of Alex. The blast hit him in the chest and he fell to the ground.
Ezmia watched in shock as the fatal blast meant for Alex had hit the only person she had ever considered a friend. Conner arrived at the Enchantress’s side and sliced the Wand of Wonderment in half. The Wand was destroyed; the magic drained from Ezmia’s body and the enchantments around the coliseum faded once again.
Alex went to the floor and held Rumpelstiltskin’s head up in her lap. Conner dropped down next to her, but there was nothing either of them could do.
“You saved my life!” Alex said to the little man in her arms. “Why would you do that for me?”
Rumpelstiltskin was gasping and his eyes grew heavier by the second. “I just wanted my brothers to have something to be proud of,” he grunted weakly. He smiled up at the twins, closed his eyes for the last time, and died in Alex’s arms.
“Oh no,” Conner said. “Poor little guy.”
A heavy wheezing came from nearby. The twins looked across the floor to see Ezmia crawling toward them. Her body was decaying and wilting at a speedy rate.
“Looks like you’ve won,” Ezmia wheezed with difficulty.
Alex and Conner looked at each other, disgusted. Even as they held the body of her only acquaintance, all Ezmia cared about was her legacy. They looked down at her with the most pitying eyes she had ever been viewed with.
“No, Ezmia,” Alex said. “No one wins when there is loss.”
Ezmia rolled onto her back and stared up at the smoky sky. With one last rattling breath, her body rotted away until there was nothing left of her but the memory of what she had been. With nothing to validate the anger that powered her livelihood, the Enchantress’s body and soul disappeared—a casualty to compassion.
The kings and queens and fairies brushed the vines off their bodies again and happily embraced one another. The nightmare was over and their kingdoms were safe once again.
King Chance and Cinderella held Princess Hope, and Cinderella wiped away tears of joy from her exhausted eyes. Sleeping Beauty wouldn’t let go of King Chase; it was the first time in weeks that they had seen each other. Snow White and King Chandler helped Rapunzel brush all the leaves out of her hair, which was a several-person effort.
Red kissed Froggy repeatedly all over his big frog head. Jack tried dipping Goldilocks for a romantic kiss, but her fugitive reflexes caused her to flip him over her shoulder by accident.
Trollbella walked over to Conner.
“Hey, listen, Trollbella, I’m very flattered but I’m not really interested in—” he started, but the Troll Queen silenced him again with an index finger pressed to his mouth.
“No, Butterboy, let me do all the talking,” she said. “I understand this day has been hard on you—watching the Squishygirl almost die and then narrowly escaping death yourself. I just wanted to let you know I’m in no rush for our wedding; whether it’s in two days or two weeks, I’ll be waiting for you.”
“Thanks?” Conner said. Trollbella winked at him and walked away, leaving him even more confused than before.
The Fairy Council went to the glass jars in front of the golden chair and one by one opened the lids and released the souls trapped inside. The twins watched as the souls of the Baker, the Locksmith, and the Soldier happily flew from the jars and disappeared into the sky above—free at last. The spirits of the King and the Musician hovered in the air behind the others, though, waiting to join the other spirits.
The ghosts of Old Queen Beauty and Gloria floated into the coliseum and up to their long-lost loves. They flew around, over, under, and through each other, finally reunited after centuries.
Gloria and the Musician looked to the twins and bowed thankfully to them before disappearing into the sky with the other spirits. The ghost of the King and Old Queen Beauty looked lovingly down and waved at Sleeping Beauty and King Chase before disappearing as well.
“Who was that?” Sleeping Beauty asked her husband.
King Chase looked up to the sky and smiled. “Well, I suppose they’re our guardian angels now.”
Jack chopped through the lock on Charlotte’s cage and she ran to her children, throwing her arms around them.
“Mom!” the twins said in unison.
“I have never been so proud of you in my life,” she tearfully exclaimed.
“That makes two of us,” said a voice behind them.
The twins turned to see their grandmother. She had just been released from the jar and was back to being her old solid self. The twins got to their feet and gave their grandmother an enormous hug, feeling so grateful they finally could.
Grandma leaned over and looked proudly into Alex’s and Conner’s eyes. “You two amaze me more and more as you get older,” she said lovingly to them. “Your father would be so proud of you.”
Alex and Conner smiled at each other, knowing that, wherever he was, he was smiling down at them, too.
The winged horse neighed loudly from the side of the coliseum.
“Hey, Alex, where did you find a flying horse?” Conner asked.
Alex’s happy grin suddenly faded. “Oh no, I forgot about Bob!” she yelled. “Grandma, can you change him back for me?”
The Fairy Godmother laughed. She retrieved her crystal wand from inside her robes and waved it in the horse’s direction. A bright beam of light traveled from the tip of her wand and spun around the horse until he was regular Dr. Bob again.
He shook his head and found his balance, dizzy from the transformation.
“Bob, is that you?” Charlotte gasped. “What are you doing here?”
“I couldn’t let you have all the fun, could I?” He laughed. Charlotte ran to his side and kissed him—the twins had to look away.
“You won’t believe what he went through,” Conner told his mom. “He was almost eaten by bears and sharks and he was captured by the Sea Witch and—”
“And we’ll let him tell you all about it,” Alex said while dragging her brother away. She figured it was best to give them some privacy.
The twins and their grandmother walked to the edge of the coliseum and looked out over the Charming Kingdom. The sun began to set, painting the sky a beautiful rosy shade.
“I’m sorry we ran away from the house, Grandma,” Alex said, trying to sound genuine but also trying to hide a smile at the same time.
“Yeah,” Conner laughed. “I feel so bad about that.” He didn’t even try to be sincere.
Their grandmother shook h
er head and looked to the sky, fighting a smile of her own. “What am I going to do with you two?” she said. “Magic lessons, I think, would do you some good; that way you won’t sink any more houses.”
“I totally forgot about that!” Conner said. “Sorry we sank your cottage, Grandma!”
“Magic lessons?! Really?” Alex asked with large eyes as she hopped up and down.
“I think you’ve earned it,” their grandmother said. “As long as your mother is fine with it.”
“After all this I don’t think she’ll ever be able to tell us no again,” Conner said.
“What was that, Conner?” Charlotte asked as she and Bob joined them at the edge of the coliseum.
“Oh, um…” Conner said and turned bright red. “I was just saying you may have difficulty telling us no from now on because we saved your life.”
Charlotte squinted at him. “I gave you life,” she said. “You’re never going to top that.”
Conner tried laughing it off. “I was just kidding,” he said, although there was obviously an element of truth to it.
The reunited family of five looked out over the land around them. As the sun set in the East, it also set on the reign of the Enchantress, and the twins could feel the Land of Stories sigh with relief. It was a paradise once more.
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
FOR BETTER, OR FOR WORSE
All the kings and queens left the Charming Kingdom the following day to celebrate the news of the Enchantress’s defeat with their people. Red was the only one who stayed behind, because at the end of the week she, Froggy, Goldilocks, Jack, Bob, Charlotte, and the twins all attended Rumpelstiltskin’s funeral.
Hearing the news of his final act and what his last words had been was hard for the Seven Dwarfs to swallow, so they wanted to make sure the ceremony was everything Rumpelstiltskin would have wanted.
It was a small ceremony in the Dwarf Forests on the front lawn of the Seven Dwarfs’ cottage. The dwarfs had made their brother a casket of glass and jewels from their mines, just as they had for Snow White. He was buried in a daisy-covered field not too far from the cottage. The dwarfs said Rumpelstiltskin had spent a lot of time there when he was younger and they knew he would have been happy to make it his final place of rest. His tombstone even read:
HERE LIES
RUMPELSTILTSKIN
THE EIGHTH BROTHER
OF A PROUD DWARF FAMILY
That night, when they arrived back at the Charming Kingdom, King Chance and Queen Cinderella hosted a dinner to honor the twins and the others who had sailed on the Granny. Conner was seated at the table in the dining hall when a man sat next to him and started up a conversation.
“I’m looking forward to this,” the man said. “I miss being a part of the famous Charming dinner parties.”
“Do I know you?” Conner asked him and gave the man the side-eye.
“Conner, it’s me,” the man said. “It’s Froggy.”
Conner shook his head and looked at the man again. He always forgot Froggy was actually human, but no matter what physical form he took, he always had the same kind eyes.
“Your grandmother changed me back as soon as we returned from the funeral,” Froggy said. “The funny thing is, I had grown so accustomed to being a frog, I had forgotten she still had to change me back.”
“Do you miss anything about being a frog?” Conner asked him.
“I do miss reaching the books on the top shelf without a ladder,” he said. “One doesn’t realize how useful frog legs can be until they lose them.” A twinkle came to Froggy’s eye. “Speaking of reading, I have something for you.”
He reached into his lapel and pulled out a rolled-up stack of parchments.
“When we were setting up the camps for the trolls, I found these in the Granny’s wreckage,” Froggy said and handed the parchments over to Conner.
“My stories!” Conner said. “I thought these were lost forever!”
“I must admit, I enjoyed them quite a bit,” Froggy said. “You’ve got a real knack for storytelling. Although, I do have a few words of advice for you.”
“What’s that?” Conner asked.
“Never let Red read these,” Froggy said. “I thought it was very clever, writing everyone as trolls, but she would have you executed if she read your interpretation of her.”
Conner chuckled and playfully punched Froggy’s shoulder.
“No, I’m serious,” Froggy said. Conner gulped.
The others finally arrived and took seats around the table. Jack and Goldilocks looked down timidly at all the silverware, not knowing what to start with. Red entered the room and almost blinded everyone with the amount of jewelry she was wearing. Even for a formal dinner in the Charming Palace, Red was overdressed.
Bob sat down across from Conner, looking unusually tense.
“What’s wrong, Bob?” Conner said. “You look like you’re about to operate on the president.”
Alex cleared her throat to get Conner’s attention.
“He’s going to propose to Mom tonight,” Alex mouthed when her mother wasn’t looking.
“Oh,” Conner mouthed back excitedly to Bob and his sister. He gave Bob an unsubtle wink and a thumbs-up.
“Is everything all right, Conner?” Charlotte asked.
“Um… yes,” Conner said. “I’m just really looking forward to the appetizers.”
Alex rolled her eyes at him. Charlotte studied her son suspiciously, afraid he was coming down with a cold.
A footman presented a tray to Goldilocks with an envelope addressed to her on it.
“A letter has come for you, madam,” the footman said.
“For me?” Goldilocks said. “I wonder what it could be.” She opened the envelope and read the note inside. An amused but shocked grin came to her face—she wasn’t sure how to feel about the news she received.
“What is it?” Jack asked her.
“It’s a note from the Red Riding Hood Castle stables,” Goldilocks said. “Porridge is pregnant.”
Jack and the twins couldn’t contain themselves. Each one laughed harder than the next. “Buckle!” the twins said together.
“I knew there was something going on between them!” Conner said.
The dinner began and the room was served course after course of the best food the twins had ever eaten. Just before the desserts were brought out, Bob tapped the side of his glass with a spoon and got the room’s attention. Alex and Conner shot excited looks at each other—this was it.
“I just wanted to thank you all so much for having me tonight,” Bob said. “I’m fairly new to the Bailey clan, so learning about all of you and coming into this world has been, well, the adventure of my life. And seeing that I happened to be in a room filled with people who make up the greatest love stories ever told, I would like to take this moment for all it’s worth.”
Charlotte looked back and forth between the twins, seeing if they knew what Bob was up to. They purposefully avoided her eyes, wanting Bob to surprise her fully. He got down on one knee and presented the ring to her.
“Charlotte, will you make me the happiest man in the world—both worlds—and be my wife?” Bob said.
Tears instantly filled Charlotte’s surprised eyes. “I… I… I…” she said. Everyone in the dining hall was on the edge of their seat. “Yes, I would love nothing more!”
Bob put the ring on Charlotte’s finger and hugged her. Alex began to cry, which made Conner’s eyes start to water, which ultimately caused everyone else in the room to well up, too. It was a picturesque moment, even by fairy-tale standards.
“You should get married in the palace,” Cinderella said from the end of the table.
“What?” Charlotte asked, not believing her ears.
“Please, we insist,” Cinderella said and took King Chance’s hand in hers. “We’ve been trying to think of a way to thank you for taking care of Hope when you were being held by the Enchantress. It would be our pleasure.”
C
harlotte didn’t know what to say. She was stunned by the offer. “That is so kind, but I’m not sure I could ever—”
“Mom,” Alex interrupted her. “Speaking on behalf of every woman who has ever lived in the Otherworld, you cannot turn down the offer to have an actual fairy-tale wedding!”
“I have to agree, it would be pretty cool,” Conner said.
Charlotte shrugged; the decision was basically made for her. “Well, all right, then. I would be honored, thank you!” she said. “We have to get back to our jobs in the Otherworld, but I suppose we can have a quick wedding with our friends here and then another one for our friends back home.”
Everyone raised their glasses to toast Charlotte and Bob.
“May you live Happily Ever After,” the Fairy Godmother said.
Red tapped her glass and stood at her seat. No one could look directly at her because of the light reflecting off her diamonds.
“I would like to add to the celebration with some wonderful news of my own,” she said. “After speaking with the fairies and all the other queens and kings, I would like to announce that the Happily Ever After Assembly has decided to pardon Jack and Goldilocks for all their crimes and waive all warrants for their arrest as a thank-you for their daring and valiant efforts in defeating the Enchantress.”
The room burst into applause and congratulations for the couple. However, Jack and Goldilocks looked the least excited out of all of them.
“Wonderful,” Goldilocks said through a pained smile.
“Cheers,” Jack said, reluctantly raising his glass to the others toasting them.
“You can move back into your old house, Jack,” Red said. “Which is going to be really convenient, because I’ve decided to build my country home right beside it!”
Jack and Goldilocks did their best to look as if this was good news and it excited them. Red went on and on about all the wonderful double dates they could have with her and Froggy and all the activities they could do now that they were going to be neighbors.