by Sarina Dorie
“That’s your version of a hug right now, isn’t it?” he asked. “Aren’t you sweet? But really, the pity is unnecessary. Just listen.” He patted my hand. “Something Quenylda said frightened him. It might be an aversion to the idea of children—a silly trait in someone who works as a school teacher for a living. It might be that he fears the only way for you to awaken is pain magic—which we both know he’s more than capable of. Or perhaps he fears this is too much like rape, and he thinks you’ll hate him when you wake.”
Yes, I squeezed.
I suspected it was one of the latter theories. He hadn’t been the same after our adventure at the Raven Court. Torturing me as the court watched had been like reliving his childhood. I hated to imagine how Queen Morgaine must have made him use pain magic as a child.
He’d been so afraid I would think he had forced himself on me in her castle. No matter how many times I had told him otherwise, he hadn’t listened. Only now listening to Elric did I truly understand this.
Elric went on. “Thatch isn’t exactly forthcoming with information. You know this better than anyone, I’d wager. I’ve pieced together a guess based on what changed his mind. You both were captured by the Raven Queen recently, correct?”
Yes.
“The Raven Queen is known for certain unusual tastes: torture and public displays of sexuality among them. I’m guessing she made him do something to you. Am I correct?”
I hesitated, afraid of what he would say or do to Thatch.
“I’m not judging. I’m trying to understand. I want to help you.”
Yes, I said with my hand.
“She forced him to torture you while she watched?”
Yes.
“She told him he had to rape you in front of her court?”
Yes. How had he known? Surely this hadn’t been the first time she’d made someone do this. Not the first time she’d made Thatch do this. He’d once confessed how horrible he felt that he had accidentally killed someone with his lightning ejaculation, and then the queen had wanted a demonstration afterward. My insides trembled.
“And after that, the Raven Queen let you go because he did as she bade.”
No.
He paused as if in thought. “You escaped?”
Yes.
“Oh, well, that’s a first. No one typically escapes, but then again, he’s a sly one, that Professor Thatch.” He laughed.
Yes.
“He’s been withdrawn and silent around you since then?”
Yes.
“Knowing you, I’m guessing you tried to talk to him. You told him something generous; you forgive him and still love him, and don’t hold it against him.”
Yes. Pause. Yes. Pause. Yes.
“He wouldn’t talk to you or spend time with you. He pushed you away. You thought he didn’t love you anymore?”
Yes. Yes. Yes. I was so relieved he understood. My heart ached for Thatch and all that he’d been through.
“You’re confused?”
Yes! How did he know?
A knock rapped on the door. It creaked open. I squeezed Elric’s hand, not wanting to sink back into that void of the curse.
“Not now,” Elric shouted. “I’m still talking to Clarissa.” The door slammed closed. Thatch’s voice came muffled through the door. I couldn’t understand him.
Elric kissed my forehead. “That poor man. For the first time ever, I understand what’s going through his head.”
Those were not words I’d ever expected to hear from Elric’s mouth. He kept kissing my forehead and my eyelids. My eyes felt wet. Only when I felt the moisture on his lips did I know I must have been crying.
“The problem is, he feels guilty. He loves you so much he doesn’t want to hurt you ever again. How can you expect him to feel desire for you when he keeps thinking back to that time with the Raven Queen? He’s afraid it will be like that time. Can you place yourself in his shoes?”
Yes. My heart felt as though it were breaking. For someone who had a difficult time understanding the complexity of human emotions, Elric was doing an excellent job with Witchkin psychology. Perhaps he had experienced something similar in his own past relationships that mirrored Thatch’s predicament. Elric and his “lesser” wives had always been a target of his family’s cruelty.
Elric dabbed at my eyes with a handkerchief. “You might have forgiven him, but he can’t forgive himself. It probably would have made it easier if you had yelled at him and told him how much you hated him. He knows what to do with that. Giving him an opportunity to redeem himself gives him a purpose. A man like Felix Thatch doesn’t know what to do with kindness. If you were cruel, he could at least justify groveling. But you make everything too easy for him.”
Um, great. That was me, not knowing how to play hard to get.
“I might have stronger magic than his, but you feel something for Felix Thatch that you don’t feel for me. This curse requires love. Maybe he’s right; there’s no such thing as true love. Though, I happen to reject such a pessimistic view of the world. Whether he’s your true love or not, I can’t say. But you need his love to break this spell.”
I didn’t understand the curse, but all this sounded plausible. Even so, Thatch was probably hurting too deeply to cure me.
“You must wonder how I know this?” Elric asked. “The moment I used my magic on you to bring you to orgasm, it caused pain. Now, part of that might be because Quenylda doesn’t want to make it easy. She wants to ensure one of us must give you a ‘real’ orgasm, not a magical one. Or it could be your heart is broken and your affinity only desires him.”
Yes, I said.
“I have a feeling you could undo this curse with your own magic, possibly with the help of his. Unfortunately, for you, he doesn’t want you because of his personal hang-ups at the moment.”
Yes, I agreed.
A knock came again.
“Not now,” Elric shouted.
The door clicked. Not the sound of the doorknob turning and opening but the sound of a bolt sliding into place. The latch rattled.
Elric snorted out a laugh. “I just locked the door. He’ll be furious.”
Yes, I said.
“He’ll think we’re up to something. He’ll think I am up to something.”
Yes, I said. He would probably punch Elric with a pain spell. Or just punch him in the face.
Elric’s voice took on a smug tone. “That’s part of my plan.”
This didn’t sound like a good idea. And for just a moment, I had thought Elric sounded wise and compassionate.
Pounding rattled the door.
“We have a limited amount of time before he burns the door down or breaks through the weak wards I’ve constructed. I am going to kiss you and help bring out enough of your affinity to give you the ability to speak. I’m going to tell you the magic words that will make Thatch putty in your hands. It’s up to you to say them.” He leaned close to my ear and whispered.
A hiss of air escaped my lips, hinting at my exasperation. The words weren’t magic. They were ordinary, everyday words. I couldn’t imagine they would have any effect on Thatch. If anything, Thatch would think I sounded clingy.
“If you don’t do as I say, you aren’t going to get what you want,” Elric insisted. “And more importantly, I’ll have made an arse of myself for nothing. You will tell him, won’t you?”
Yes, I said.
Something crashed against the door.
“I should warn you, this might be a little . . . uncomfortable. Scandalous. I apologize for that. Just remember, I have your best interests at heart—as always—and my intentions are completely honorable. Will you trust me?”
Yes. What other choice did I have?
He rolled me over onto my side and unbuttoned the back of my gown. Something crashed against the door. Elric rolled me onto my back again, shimmying my arms out of the sleeves.
What had I agreed to?
H
e hitched the skirt of the dress higher, up to my knees. I was aware of his hand underneath the petticoats and skirt. He unfastened the drawstring of the drawers and shifted them down to my knees. This would look bad. Thatch would kill him.
Elric snuggled up next to me. His hand was under my skirts, behind my knee. His thumb caressed circles into my skin. My nerves awakened. I was aware of every place in my body where his pressed; my leg and belly and breasts. He kissed me deeply, his tongue sweeping over mine. It wasn’t a tender kiss like before. It wasn’t even a passionate kiss. He sucked on my lower lip and tugged on my upper lip before pressing his mouth to mine again. I had the sense he wasn’t trying to be arousing but attempting to massage life into my flesh.
“Try speaking,” he said into my mouth, his words a half mumble.
“Felix,” I gasped.
“Open your eyes.” He plunged his tongue back into my mouth.
Thunder exploded into the room. I clamped my eyes closed. A wave of heat washed over me. Elric didn’t stop kissing me.
“Unhand her!” Thatch said. “You said you weren’t going to touch her. All you lying Fae are the same!”
I blinked my eyes open again, straining to turn my head to see Thatch. I could barely see him, his black hair billowing behind him. Blue flashes of electricity sparked around him.
Elric kept his lips locked on mine. He put up a hand, as if to say, “Stay back.”
Thatch strode forward, halting as green light wavered between them. He stumbled back. Elric slid his hand up my leg, between my legs. I gasped, a mixture of pleasure and fear rushing through me. I didn’t think he was truly going to take advantage of me, but Elric could be unpredictable.
Thatch punched at a wall of wavering green air in front of him. The ward popped with a sound like a balloon. He made it another step before Elric threw up another ward. Thatch’s face contorted with rage. This wasn’t going to end well. Someone would get hurt, probably Elric. Why had I listened to him? He was the last person who understood human emotion.
Thatch slashed the ward away and strode forward again, wand raised. Elric pressed his body flat against me and kissed me again. He waved a hand dismissively at Thatch.
Thatch’s wand flew out of his hand and fell to the floor. By this point, he was so close he didn’t need a wand. He grabbed Elric by the back of the coat and flung him from the bed. Fabric tore. Thatch turned toward him, a red lightning crackling in his open palm.
This would be my one chance to say the magic words before all consciousness left me.
“Felix, I need you inside me now. Please!” I reached for him, but my hand fell and went limp. My eyes started to droop, and I fought to keep them open.
The fire went out in his hand.
“Help her!” Elric shouted. “If you won’t, I will.”
Thatch rushed to my side. My eyes closed despite my efforts to keep them open. He took my hand in his and stroked my fingers.
“Clarissa, did he do anything to you . . . anything you didn’t want?”
I had to figure out what he needed to hear. If I said yes, he would probably kill Elric. If I said no, he would think I wanted Elric to have sex with me instead of him. This was such a delicate matter that required more sensitivity than a simple yes or no by a squeeze of the hand allowed.
“Clarissa?” he asked.
My eyes fluttered closed.
“Just kiss her, or are you a complete fucktard like Vega says you are?” Elric said.
Felix Thatch kissed me.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
Prince Charming
I didn’t hear Elric again, so I assumed he must have left. Thatch cradled me in his arms and kissed me. Everywhere his lips brushed, or his hands massaged, life sparked back into my nerves. Miniature pulses of electricity sparked between us, touch magic flaring inside me and making me stronger.
He kissed my eyelids, and I was able to open my eyes. So much adoration and love showed in his expression that it was hard to believe this was the same man who had perfected the expressionless mask he wore everywhere else.
He smoothed a hand up the bare flesh of my arm and over the sleeve at my shoulder. “Does it help if it’s skin on skin contact?”
I didn’t think it mattered, but I didn’t think it would hurt either. “Yes,” I said.
He finished the job Elric had started, sliding me out of the dress down to my chemise, planting a hundred kisses across my skin along the way. The warmth of his hand on my flesh sent a tremor of delight through me. I wanted to close my eyes and relax into the sensation, only I feared I would lose control of my eyes again if I did so.
“Are you cold?” he asked.
“Yes,” I said.
He pushed back the blankets and nestled me underneath.
The more he stroked me, the greater control I regained over my limbs. I was able to hold him and kiss him back. The moment he drew back to remove his jacket, all strength I’d gained started to wick away. I was unplugged from my electrical outlet. He was my energy.
I reached out toward him, but my hand went limp. “You can’t stop touching me, not for a—” My voice died, and my eyes closed.
He leaned down, pressing his lips to mine. I heard fabric tear, and a button popped as he tore away at his shirt. His breath was ragged, frantic with exertion as he hurried to undress and lean over to kiss me at the same time.
“Touch my hands and arms again,” I said against his mouth.
He did so, and this time I was able to help undress him. Naked, he nestled close to me under the blankets.
“Is this all right?” he asked.
“Yes.” It was more than all right. Everything he did revived my body and made me feel alive.
“Do you want more blankets? Fewer blankets?”
“I’m fine.”
I had never found fault in his lovemaking. He’d always been attentive and mindful, probably using his affinity to monitor my magic as well as pain. Seldom had he been this attentive, though. I didn’t know whether it was from my limited mobility or because he was afraid I was traumatized after last time.
Or because he was still trying to undo last time for himself.
His stormy gray eyes stared intently into mine. “Tell me what would bring you the most pleasure.”
Heat flushed to my face as I thought about the time he’d satisfied me after the jorogumo venom. That had been the only time he’d performed oral sex. Just the memory of it sent blood throbbing between my legs.
He leaned close, his ear pressed against my lips, and I whispered my secret desire to him. I was certain I was blushing from the heat in my cheeks.
“Your wish is my command.” He kissed me again.
“Why? Are you a djinn?”
He grinned. “Maybe I am tonight.”
He kissed a trail down my body, lifting the skirt of my chemise to bury his face between my legs. His breath alone against my inner thigh made me gasp. Every moment of this intimate attention from him was paradise. It wasn’t long before the pleasure was so intense that I arched up against his mouth about to come.
Only, he drew away and shifted to lie beside me again. He pulled me into his embrace, kissing me deeply.
I turned my head away. “Why did you stop?” I asked, my voice coming out sharp with annoyance. “I didn’t come.”
“I know.” His eyes were full of mischief. He kissed me again, his fingers massaging my hand. “Tell me what you want, Clarissa.”
The way he said my name was like music.
His erection pressed against my leg. I knew what he wanted.
“I want you,” I said. “Inside me.”
There was such satisfaction in his eyes, all doubt was erased from my mind. Elric had known what Felix Thatch needed to hear.
He made love to me slowly and tenderly. Every time I lost myself in the building waves of energy inside me, he stopped, his grin mischievous.
“No! Keep going,” I said.
>
“Are you certain?” He was teasing, driving me mad with pining.
Each time I closed my eyes, he kissed them open. “Look at me. I want to know you’re still with me.”
The moment came when the pleasure rose inside me like a tidal wave. I knew it would come crashing down out of control.
“Let go,” Thatch panted into my hair. “Release your magic.”
My affinity and my body became one. All my senses grew confused and muddled together. I tasted the music of his rhythm. I heard the color of his tongue against mine. Electricity crackled through me, eating away at all Witchkin and Fae magics in my system. Quenylda’s curse was paltry in comparison to the power of the Red affinity.
“I’m going to come,” Thatch said.
I didn’t question it or fear that he might burn me. The moment felt right. Pleasure broke loose through me, obliterating all but the bliss of the moment.
I cried out, and so did he. Cold fire burned through me, consuming my senses. I was no longer in my body, but I wasn’t outside of it either. It was like before when we’d been in the Raven Court, only different. That had been fleeting, and I hadn’t been able to grasp hold of what had happened.
I transformed, aware of the shift in myself this time. I was no longer in this time or space.
I floated in the stars, the cold of space prickling across my body. I felt primal and animal, grounded in some force deep inside myself. My body didn’t feel like my own. I was no longer human. Our magic had transformed me into something otherworldly and scaled. I couldn’t tell if I was a serpent or dragon.
The moment was so strangely surreal, yet it felt natural. I didn’t question how I knew the other presence with me was Thatch. Instinct told me I was safe in this blissful moment as I transcended above the earthly plane. I felt like the Buddha, at one with the universe and at peace with myself.
Thatch’s body coiled around mine, hugging me to him. His scales glistened like an oil slick, midnight compared to the pale pink dawn of my own. One eye blinked in the side of his head, a stormy gray iris flecked with red. Warily, he watched me snuggle into him. He hid one side from me as he coiled around me.