by JJ King
His whoosh of breath told me he’d seen and understood the implications. “Fuck,” Bash growled, but there was no avarice in this sound, just pained understanding. “This is going to destroy him.”
I laid my head on his chest and closed my eyes, wishing I could spare Darius this pain while basking in joy for my best friend. “Be there for him like you always are and it’ll get better in time. Hopefully, he’ll find his mate soon.” But I didn’t have much real hope of that. It was rare to find your mate at our age, rarer still to find a same-sex mate. That Bash and I, and now Rory and Addison had found our other halves, didn’t bode well statistically for Darius. Some wolves waited hundreds of years to find their mates. Katherine had said once that it only made the bond sweeter to wait so long and then find your soul.
I thanked the Old Ones I’d already found mine and that he was so fucking sexy.
His arms came around me, loosely, comforting, but that shock of lust I’d felt earlier reared its head again and burned through me. I bit down on my lips to hold it back. This wasn’t the time or place to get horny.
Bash’s body stiffened and his arms tightened, pulling me in closer. I heard his inhale, deep and knowing, and lost my battle on control as his hips shifted forward, giving me a hint of his response.
My fingers found his and tugged as I slipped out of his embrace and headed farther into the woods. They weren’t shadowed and spooky anymore; I barely even registered the night. Excitement and need danced over my skin, under my skin, and through my soul as we picked up speed and raced into the forest.
The cool night air whipped my hair back as we ran, hand in hand, jumping over logs and bushes, skirting around thick groves of evergreens. The sound of his delighted laughter, bubbling out of his chest, made me soar with unbridled joy.
When his arm went taut and snapped me back into his arms, I let that joy free and threw back my head, trusting Bash to hold me up as I threw out my arms and dipped.
He held me steady, then pulled me up and fitted his mouth to mine in a kiss that claimed me anew. My hands lifted and dove into his thick dark hair to tug him even closer.
His lips moved from mine, branding every inch of skin they touched, lighting fires as they danced lower, down my throat and over my shoulder. He pushed at my jacket, pulling it down my arms, then fit his teeth over the curve of my neck and bit.
Hard.
I cried out and raked my nails over his neck, nearly collapsing at the rush of pained pleasure. Desperate need flooded my mind, spurring my hands to tear at clothes that hid skin.
Bursts of desire swamped me in flickers of sensation. His hands hot on my skin, the taste of him on my lips, blinding pleasure that nearly stole my breath.
When he dragged me to the mossy ground, covered in our discarded clothes, I slid over him, pushing him down to straddle his thighs. And when I rose up onto my knees, surrounding him, then sunk down, taking him into me, his roar of pleasure and gripped fingers on my hips, sang in my soul.
A brilliant burst of white light exploded behind my eyes when he lifted my hips and pulled them down to meet his thrust. We set a frantic pace, our bodies meeting with slaps of skin on skin and urgent calls for more. I squeezed my eyes shut and threw back my head, letting myself feel every sensation like a wave crashing into me.
My release built, so fast and furious that I barely had time to hang on before my body was clenching around Bash, tightening in vicious spasms that dragged him over the precipice with me and sent us both flying.
I collapsed in a heap of slick naked flesh atop his chest and dragged in ragged breaths to steady my racing heart. When I could see again, I lifted my head and grinned at him. “That was super inappropriate.”
His chuckle shook our combined bodies. “You started it.” He pulled me back down and rolled us both to the side.
I rested my head on his arm and looked up at the dark sky above us. The stars stood out so clearly, it felt for a moment as if I were home. I smiled lazily and closed my eyes.
I felt the wave of awareness a second later and sat up, pushing my way out of Bash’s embrace with adrenaline pumping through my heart so intensely, it felt like my chest couldn’t possibly contain it.
“What’s wrong?” Bash leaped up, his eyes wide with panic. He peered into the shadows, all senses on alert as he crouched, teeth bared, and hands raised to protect us both.
I pressed one hand to my throat and the other to my thundering chest and sucked in deep breaths meant to focus my mind as my skin crawled under the sensation of being watched. “Someone’s here,” I whispered, climbing to my feet. “Someone’s watching us.” I swallowed the acrid fear burning in my throat and yelled into the trees, “I know you’re there! Come out and face us!”
No one came forward. Nothing moved except that which lived in the forest. Tears of frustration and embarrassment stung my eyes. “I felt it,” I said, blinking furiously, telling myself over and over that I wasn’t crazy even if, deep down, that fear nearly immobilized me. “Someone was there.”
Bash gathered me into his arms again and pressed a kiss to my temple while he stared into the forest and murmured, “I believe you.”
Chapter 6
I eyed the tall, darkly tanned woman standing across the room from me with curiosity seeping from my slightly narrowed eyes as she held her own silent appraisal of me.
Headmistress Donahue, who stood between us, stepped back and raised her hands in a gesture of giving up. “Okay then,” she said with a sigh. “How about I leave the two of you to get acquainted.” As she walked away, I heard her add, “since neither of you seem to remember your manners,” under her breath.
When the door to the room snicked shut, I arched an eyebrow and said in as deadpan a voice as I could manage, “I think we may have fallen short of her highness’ formal expectations.”
Dalia’s stoic expression twitched, then broke, and she slapped a hand over her mouth just a split second too late to hold back the snort of laughter. Her dark eyes lit with amusement as she studied me. “Katherine said I’d like you.” She stepped forward with a hand outstretched.
I slipped my hand into hers and shook firmly, keeping my gaze steady and strong. “She told me you were a ball-buster,” I said, cocking an eyebrow at the only other natural born Alpha I knew of. “Hopefully she was right on both accounts. I could use another ball-buster in my life.”
Dalia sat at one end of the couch, tucking a leg beneath her to face me. “Seems like you’re one yourself, so I’m not sure what I could possibly teach you in that area.”
All the bravado I’d been storing up abandoned me and I swallowed, trying to push back the barrage of savage emotions that leaped into my throat. I glanced away and up to keep it at bay and managed to stem the tide.
She didn’t speak once while I gathered myself, just sat there silently waiting for me to come back. When I looked her in the eye again, there was a knowing there that thoroughly undid the remnants of my control.
I bit down on the inside of my cheek and tasted blood.
“You don’t have to do that for me, you know,” Dalia said quietly, reaching for a throw pillow to settle on her lap just as I had. She toyed with the edge as she watched me blink furiously. “You don’t have to hold yourself together for me.”
I sucked my cheeks in and looked up at the chandelier until the tears in my eyes dried again, then met her gaze. “It’s not for you,” I said in a shaky voice. “If I start now, I won’t be able to ask the questions I have and that’s more important than blubbering.”
Her lips quirked up. “Then why don’t we get started. But first,” she added, rising to her feet to cross to a small fridge tucked beneath a counter in the corner, “liquid courage. What’s your poison?”
I grinned and considered. It wasn’t even noon yet, but I was chock full of emotion and finally talking with the only person who could understand part of what I was going through. “Any white wine?” I asked, deciding against anything stronger. I didn’t wan
t to get sloppy drunk in front of Dalia Little Foot, natural born Alpha, of all people.
She pulled a bottle of Pinot Grigio from the fridge with a flourish. “Perfect for long discussions about impossible situations.” She grabbed two wine glasses and made her way back to the couch.
Once we each had a glass in hand and had taken a long sip, Dalia tilted her head and asked straight out, “What does it feel like to you? The power.” She watched me intently.
I considered, wanting to find the right words to describe my experiences. “It was…” I chewed my lip for a moment before meeting her gaze, “seductive.” It felt like a lewd confession and brought a blush to my cheeks that burned but Dalia didn’t seem to judge me. She just nodded.
“It was like that for me, too, at first,” she said with a glimmer of memory. For a second, she was quiet and just looked off as if bringing it all back to mind. Then she blinked and shook her head. “But it didn’t stay that way.”
I bit my lip again then forced myself to stop. There were too many questions fighting for prominence in my mind that it was hard to pick one to start with. I opened my mouth and just let instinct take over. “What was it like?” I whispered the question. “Sylvie told me a bit about your past. About what the power did to you.” I wet my lips with my tongue. “What did it feel like, losing control?” Did you feel eyes on you when there were none? I longed to ask, but held it back, for now.
Dalia took a long sip of her drink then stared at the liquid for a moment before answering. “I don’t know how much Sylvie told you…”
“Not much,” I blurted, realizing it had sounded as if we’d gossiped about the woman. “Just enough to explain why you’d be training me.”
“It’s alright,” Dalia said with a wry smile. “I don’t mind. I just think it would be better if I started at the beginning rather than giving you bits and pieces.”
I listened as she explained feeling the power rise during each of her pregnancies and then grow along with her children as they grew. I leaned forward at her description of the confidence the power brought, the absolute belief that she was strong enough to handle it, worthy enough to use it only for good.
When Dalia described the surges of anger, of frustration and depression that had begun to plague her, I swallowed hard and listened with rapt attention.
And when she described losing control and lashing out at her innocent children with the power, I squeezed my eyes shut and remembered the way my Alpha voice had boomed from me and taken strong wolves to their knees.
“It started small, you know, the way addictions do,” Dalia said in a voice haunted by the past. I could tell it cost her to speak to me, so I stayed quiet and just listened. “And don’t fool yourself, it is an addiction, to the power, to that feeling of invulnerability. That’s why not everyone tested gets the Alpha ring.” She downed the rest of her wine and set the empty glass on the coffee table then returned to picking at the throw pillows edges.
Her eyes were filled with tears when she met my gaze this time. “Elena, I hurt my children. I thought I could control the power until it snapped my mind and turned me into a monster. That’s how my children saw me. As a monster.” A tear spilled down her cheek and fell onto her shirt, unstopped.
Fear gutted me. So much of what she’d described had already happened to me and I was way younger than she’d been. I’d already used the power against others, willingly, and decided to do so because my instincts had said it was the right call. The only call.
But how can I trust my own instincts? Am I being poisoned by this power?
“How did you learn to control it?” It burst out of me, the big question, the one I’d been sitting on, trying to hold back long enough to let her explain her story. It was propelled by an eruption of emotion too powerful to deny any longer. “How do I control it before it controls me?” I whispered.
Dalia’s hand shot out and gripped my forearm tightly. “You won’t have to lose control like I did, Elena. I promise.” Her eyes shined bright with fervent determination. “I won’t let you.” Her chest rose and fell in perfect rhythm with mine.
I stared into her dark eyes for what felt like forever, searching for even a flicker of nerves or trepidation and managed a shaky nod when I found none. She’d been to Hell and back and had survived. No, I argued with myself, she’d learned to thrive, and I could, too.
I just didn’t need to take the trip to Hell first. I hoped.
The tension that had descended on the room like a thick fog dissipated as we each sat back and took cleansing breaths. When I caught her gaze again, there was laughter in their depths, the kind I’d become intimately familiar with lately.
“That was intense,” I murmured, biting back the scathing snark that tipped my tongue.
Dalia inclined her head in a regal nod and said in a deadpan tone, “Just imagine if we’d broken out the Alpha powers. We could have brought the school body to their knees.”
My eyes widened and, for a moment, I wasn’t sure if it was a joke or she was serious. I’d felt the lure of my Alpha voice after my first outburst. I couldn’t imagine the seductive call Dalia felt every day. I eyed her without saying a word until I saw the quirk of her lips and whooshed out a breath of relief.
“I thought you were serious!” I exclaimed, slapping her lightly on the arm.
Dalia laughed and shook her head. “We’ll save the devastation and world dominance for a later session and just focus on control and awareness now, deal?” Her eyebrows rose as she waited for my response with a grin.
I pursed my lips as if considering, then offered her a curt nod. “Control now, take over the world later. I’m on board for that.”
She chuckled as she moved to a cozy corner I hadn’t noticed. It was decked out like a yoga studio, with a wide carpet on the floor, a lovely water feature tucked into the corner, which she turned on, and privacy screens that shut the rest of the room away. Dalia motioned for me to sit and closed us in.
The screens were just rice paper, I thought, not real protection against the outside world, yet my body responded to their closing as if I’d just been surrounded by an army of the most loyal soldiers. The stress that had been my constant companion for months melted away. My mouth fell open as a sigh slipped free.
Dalia took her place across from me and smiled knowingly. “There’s something about it that washes it all away.” She motioned to the water feature, which was happily burbling water through faded copper. “I brought it with me when Sylvie asked me to come.” She gestured towards the screens. “These, as well. I have an exact replica of this…” Dalia made a soft humming sound in her throat, “retreat, in my home. I wondered if it would have the same effect on you.”
A soft hum of approval slipped through my lips as I traced the details of the screens with the tip of my fingers then moved onto the thick carpet beneath me. It felt luxurious, feminine, and powerful. I smiled at Dalia and nodded. “It’s working.”
“Then let’s get started,” she said, turning to grab a bag tucked into the corner of our oasis. From it she pulled a deep copper colored bowl and a wooden stick free and placed them between us. “This is a Tibetan singing bowl,” Dalia explained. “It’s used in meditation and relaxation, both of which will be an extremely important part of your life from now on if it isn’t already.”
“I’ve been meditating with Dr. Mira’s help,” I explained, eyeing the bowl. I wondered how it would help me focus.
“You hold it like this.” Dalia picked up the bowl and balanced it on the tips of her fingers. “Or in the palm of your hand. You don’t want to cup it, or the sound will be absorbed by your hand.” She picked up the stick with her other hand and gently rubbed it around the outside of the bowl.
The sound started softly, a tremulous pitch that wavered slightly as Dalia rotated the stick around the bowl. It built with each rotation, growing in intensity, reaching a higher, stronger pitch, until it seemed to fill the air around us. It reverberated out, through the floor,
through my skin, ignoring anything in its way, until it seemed as if it were a part of me.
I blinked when Dalia handed me the stick and the bowl. I hadn’t realized she’d stopped playing. The vibrations still rang through me, pushing out any negative thoughts or self-doubt. I raised my gaze to hers and let out a choked laugh. “That feels really weird.”
“Weird or different?”
“Both, I think,” I murmured, taking the bowl in my hand. “It feels like I melted away a bit.”
She nodded. “That’s good. Don’t fight it. Just let it take you when your body and mind need to go.”
I stared at the bowl for a moment then lifted the stick and began moving it around slowly. It felt a little different this time, I realized, now that it was my hands creating the sound, my hand connected to the bowl. The resonance felt deeper, more elemental as it moved through that small connection and through my entire being. I closed my eyes and let it pull me under.
“Elena.” Dalia’s voice reached into the stillness and tugged gently, pulling me back from the peace. I resisted for a moment, not wanting the solitude to end, then slipped back to awareness. When I opened my eyes, I found her watching me with a smile. “How was it?”
“Not long enough,” I said with a laugh. I could have gone back under in a heartbeat.
Dalia shot me a knowing smile. “You were meditating for over two hours, Elena.”
My eyebrows shot up in surprise. “Seriously? Did I keep rubbing the bowl?”
She nodded. “The entire time. Do you remember any of what you experienced in your meditation?”
I frowned, trying to remember anything from the stillness, then shook my head. “No. It was just quiet and peaceful. Was that wrong?”
“No, it’s what you needed. When your mind is rested and stronger, you’ll experience other things.” Dalia pushed to her feet and offered me a hand, which I took without thought.