by J. L. Perry
Charlotte’s eyes light up at the mention of her father’s name. She cried herself to sleep last night because he wasn’t there to read her a bedtime story. She’s his shadow and goes with him everywhere.
“Yes, Momma,” she repeats.
“Good girl.” I place my lips against her chubby cheek before I stand.
I’d originally planned to have her walk down with Carla, but little miss independent wanted to do it on her own.
Twenty minutes later, we gather at the entrance to the church. Ashton’s parents disappear inside with Duchess cradled in Valentina’s arm.
“You’ve got this, babe,” I say, running my arm down Carla’s arm. My heart hurts for her. For them both. Together they were exceptional, but apart neither of them seem whole.
She looks stunning in the floor-length strapless, figure-hugging, ruby red dress she’s wearing, reminding me of a real-life Jessica Rabbit. Her long blonde hair is down and curled at the ends. It’s a different look for her, but she looks beautiful.
“This is your special day, don’t worry about me.”
“I’ll always worry about you, Car.”
She smiles, but it doesn’t quite reach her eyes. I can only hope today will be a turning point for them both.
The double doors to the church open and my heart starts to hammer in my chest. I’m not as nervous as I thought I’d be, I’m eager more than anything. Today, I marry the man of my dreams. Every day that passes is a blessing because I’m loved wholeheartedly by him.
The music starts, and Charlie takes a tentative step forward. “Daddy,” she squeals the second she spots him. Casting the small wicker basket to the side, the petals fly through the air as she takes off down the aisle toward him.
So much for that.
Since becoming a mother, I’ve learned even the best-laid plans can go awry in an instant. But I wouldn’t change one single thing about my precious girl.
She’s imperfectly perfect.
Ashton’s smile is huge as she races toward him. Bending down, he opens his arms wide ready to capture her as soon as she’s close enough.
Charlotte squeals with delight when he stands, swinging her around in the air. My heart swells as I watch them together.
Drawing her body back, she places her small hands on his cheeks as she stares into his eyes. “Daddy, I miss you.” There are collective “ahs” from the women throughout the room. It’s a heart-melting moment. It’s like they haven’t seen each other for years when in fact, it’s only been hours.
“I missed you, too, princess,” Ashton says, burying his face in her neck.
“You snagged yourself a good one there, pumpkin.”
“I know, Dad. He’s the best.”
Carla’s head is cast downward as she slowly moves forward. My gaze flickers to Grayson as he watches her with intent—you can see the glimmer of hope in his eyes. He’s silently pleading with her to look at him, but she doesn’t. By the time she makes it to the end of the aisle, he sighs, shoving his hands into his pockets and bowing his head. The hurt is rolling off him in waves.
I’d give anything to fix things between these two. Ashton would as well. They both mean the world to us.
Pushing those thoughts out of my head, I lock eyes with my gorgeous husband-to-be. He inhales a sharp breath as he takes me in, and my heart rate kicks up a few notches. I’ll never tire of the way he looks at me. There’s not a moment I don’t feel beautiful, cherished, and loved.
When I reach the end of the aisle, he extends his hand to me before pulling me into his arms. He dips me back, planting a scorching kiss on my lips.
My smile is huge when he stands us upright again. “I needed that,” he confesses.
“I think the kissing part is supposed to come after.” Not that I’m complaining.
His eyebrows pinch together. “Nobody tells me when I can and can’t kiss you, Emma.”
“Because I’m yours?”
“Until the end of time.” His frown is quickly replaced with a cocky smirk. “You look beautiful, by the way… so damn beautiful.” Leaning in to run his nose up the side of my neck, he inhales deeply. “Mmm… and you smell so good. I missed you last night.”
“I missed you, too.”
“I couldn’t sleep without you beside me.”
My fingertips skim along his jawline. “I ended up sleeping with Charlie. Poor thing cried herself to sleep because you weren’t there to read her a bedtime story.”
“What?” Ashton’s face distorts with anguish as he glances down at our daughter. There’s only one thing he hates more than seeing me upset, it’s witnessing heartache from his little girl. I’ve seen her tears bring him to his knees on more than one occasion. “Why didn’t you call me, I would’ve come?”
“I know you would’ve because you’re an amazing father.”
“And you’re the best mother,” he says as his lips brush against mine. “I can’t wait to impregnate you with our son in Paris.”
“Or another daughter.”
“No, we definitely need some more testosterone in the house. With you, Charlie, and Duchess… all that estrogen… I’m outnumbered.”
“You have enough testosterone for ten men,” I say, releasing a small laugh.
“You better believe it, sweetheart. And you’ll be full of it tonight.”
“You have a one-track mind.”
“With you, always.”
The priest clears his throat, and both our heads snap in his direction. “Are you done?”
“Sorry, Father,” Ashton says, chuckling. “I haven’t seen her for twenty-four hours.” He says it like it’s a lifetime.
“You’ll have the rest of your days to make up for it… that is, if we can get through the vows.” The priest’s stern tone let us know he’s unimpressed.
There’s mischief brimming in Ashton’s eyes when he brings his attention back to me. “What do you say, sweet-thing, are you ready to become Mrs. Barclay?”
“More than ready,” I say, straightening his tie.
His grip on my waist tightens, drawing me even closer. “Je taime.” Kiss. “Ti amo.” Kiss. “I love you in all the languages, Em.” Kiss.
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***
Carla and Grayson’s story coming soon.
Keep reading for a sneak peek.
SEXY BASTARD
BLURB
GRAYSON EDWARDS is one sexy bastard. From the moment we locked eyes, I wanted him. He’s funny, charismatic, and the essence of swoony.
What was supposed to be one night of passion turned into so much more. I never expected to fall in love with him or for him to love me back.
When he got down on one knee and proposed, asking me to spend the rest of my days by his side, it was a surreal moment. He was my hopes and dreams all rolled into one. A bright future I never thought I’d have.
But life has a way of kicking you in the teeth sometimes, and I was in no way prepared for what was to follow.
I never would’ve guessed we shared a common link from my past.
A past that still haunts me to this day. One so horrific, I had no choice but to walk away from the person I loved more than life itself.
My soulmate.
Two years on, and those feelings haven’t changed. He still owns my heart. I miss him with every fiber of my being.
But how can I give my life to a man, bear his children, when he has the blood of the devil running through his veins?
SEXY BASTARD
EXCERPT
GRAYSON
Carla won’t even look at me. Not a glimpse. I know because I haven’t been able to take my eyes off her all night
. It’s been two years, two fucking years, and I’m still not over her. I thought she was the one, the woman I’d spend the rest of my life with.
How could I have been so wrong?
I loved her with everything I had, I thought she loved me too. I even got down on one knee and professed my undying devotion to her in front of my entire family. That’s how much she meant to me. How sure I was of our union.
Not even twenty-four hours later, she handed back the ring and told me she was sorry. Fucking sorry. That’s all I got. No explanation, no reason, no glimmer of hope for a second chance, just a measly sorry.
She ripped my damn heart out.
She crushed me in the worst possible way.
Yet, here I sit, still pinning for the woman I can never have, still loving her even though she doesn’t love me back.
I’m pathetic.
The last time I saw Carla was at Charlotte’s christening. We were asked by Ashton and Emma to be her godparents. I tried to talk to her that day, but she said it wasn’t the time nor the place. I’m still waiting for that conversation.
After Carla broke off our engagement, she disappeared. She moved out of her apartment, quit her job, and vanished into thin air. I even hired a private detective to track her down but to no avail.
I’m not letting her walk away from me tonight.
Not a chance in hell.
I want answers.
I need to know why.
That’s what kills me the most. I’ve gone over that night in my head umpteen times, including the weeks and months prior, and nothing stands out. There were no signs, no rhyme or reason. What we had was strong. We were tight. We were fucking happy. You can’t fake that shit. Can you?
“Could we have the bridal party join the happy couple on the dance floor?” the master-of-ceremonies announces over the microphone.
Here’s my chance. It may be the only one I have.
I rise, and Carla hesitantly does the same. We both move around opposite ends of the bridal table, meeting in the middle of the dance floor. My heart is hammering in my chest. I’ve dreamed of the day I’d get to hold her again, I only hoped it would be a mutual amalgamation, not a forced one.
Carla bows her head when I come to a stop in front of her, snaking my arms around her waist. She makes no attempt to move, so I close the small distance between us, tightening my embrace.
It feels like old times.
I never want to let go.
Her body trembling under my touch, she can deny it all she wants, but she’s affected by me.
I bring my face down, burying it in her hair and inhaling deeply. She smells amazing, just like I remember.
“You look stunning,” I whisper, moving my mouth close to her ear.
Stunning’s an understatement. Spectacular, breathtakingly beautiful—all those words and more come to mind, but none of them can do her justice.
“Please don’t.”
“Please don’t what? Be honest? That’s rich coming from you.” It’s a low blow, but the hurt I hold inside is still as strong as ever.
Tilting her head back, she makes eye contact with me for the first time in what feels like forever.
She’s so fucking beautiful.
I scan over her face, her flawless skin, her bright hazel eyes with specks of green and gold mixed throughout them, her petite, perfectly sculptured nose, and her full red lips that I’m aching to kiss. After all this time, she is still able to steal all the air from my lungs.
“I miss you,” I say, not meaning to confess that but unable to stop the words that effortlessly pour from my mouth. “I miss you so fucking much, Carla.”
Tears rise in her eyes, yet she doesn’t look away.
The sadness I see within them is palpable.
Does she miss me too?
I’ve tried to let her go and move on with my life. Fuck, have I tried, but for some reason, I can’t. I love this woman with everything I have, even after everything she’s put me through.
I still love her.
We stay in this position for the remainder of the song—me holding her as she stares up at me. Neither of us move despite the fact we should be dancing. I don’t care how ridiculous we look. All I care about is her.
The song ends. Our time is over too quickly, but I don’t want to let her go. I want to stay locked in the moment, with her, like this, until the end of time.
Carla makes the first move, dipping her head and breaking our connection. When she removes my arms from around her waist and steps back, turning to flee the dancefloor, flee me, I’m hot on her heels.
The sound of her shoes clicking against the marble floor echo through the house as she runs down the long corridor.
When she reaches the bathroom, she slips inside. I hear her strangled sob as she closes the door, but I stick my foot in just in time, stopping it.
“What the hell,” she says as I force my way inside. Her hands wipe furiously over her eyes. Did she honestly think I’d let her run again? “Get out!”
“I don’t think so.” I close the door, locking it behind me as I stalk toward her.
Carla backs away until she hits the wall. She has nowhere else to go. I’m on top of her in a flash, caging her in with my arms.
“You know I can kick your ass, right?” she says, and a smile tugs at my lips as I’m reminded of her ninja skills.
“Nothing you can do will hurt me more than you already have, sweetheart,” I retort, bringing my face within an inch of hers. “I’m not letting you out of here until I have answers.”
“I have nothing to say to you,” she says, straightening her spine.
“Well, I have plenty to say to you.”
“I don’t want to hear it.”
“Tough.”
Her eyes bore into mine, and I can feel the warmth of her breath against my skin. I inhale her air as we remain frozen in a silent standoff.
Reaching up, I cup her jaw. “Look me in the eye and tell me you don’t love me,” I demand. I’m through playing games. She doesn’t confirm or deny it. “Tell me you don’t love me goddammit because I love you, Carla. I’ve never fucking stopped.”
My lips are on hers before it even registers in my mind. I’m half expecting her to knee me in the nuts or flip me over until I’m flat on my back like she did the day she demonstrated her kick-ass skills. But she doesn’t. She fists her hands in the lapels of my tuxedo jacket pulling me closer, kissing me back.
She kisses me back.
Our mouths, our tongues, our hands are everywhere. Two years of pent-up frustration all released in a feverous kiss. My cock is so hard for her, it aches.
Moving her hands in between us, she fumbles at the belt buckle on my trousers. My fingers skate up her back to the top of her dress, dragging the zipper down until it’s pooling at her feet.
The moment she has my cock freed, I lift her. “Wrap your legs around me, babe,” I say against her mouth. I don’t have time to remove her panties, so I push them aside, burying myself deep inside her in one quick thrust.
“Fuck,” I grate out as my head falls back, resting against my shoulder blades. I’m fucking home. “I’ve missed your pussy. Fuck, you feel so good.” I draw back to the tip before plunging back in. Her arms slide around to the back of my head, bringing my lips back to hers. “Please tell me this still belongs to me?”
“There’s been no one else,” she says against my mouth.
What?
Pulling back, my eyes meet hers. “No one else since me?”
“No one else.”
“Baby.” Does she have any idea what that does to me? I can’t even tell you how many nights I laid awake going fucking insane with jealousy thinking another man was touching what’s mine.
I only wish I could say the same. I didn’t go near anyone else for the longest time, I couldn’t. She was all I ever thought about. All I wanted. And even though she was the one who left me, it felt wrong to be with someone else.
Over the past yea
r, though, when the realization finally sunk in that she was gone and never coming back, I did everything in my power to forget her. I’ve tried to fuck her out of my system. I’ve tried to hate her. But it’s all to no avail. None of the others made me feel a fraction of what Carla does.
Not even close.
Crashing my lips into hers, I savor her taste, her touch, her scent.
My movements quicken as I pound into her possessively. Mine. Each thrust taking us higher. The room is filled with sounds of our bodies slapping together mixed with our carnal cries of pleasure. This is raw, unadulterated fucking at its best. Christ, I’ve missed this.
Her heels dig painfully into my back, the sting sending heat down my spine. But I welcome it. She feels incredible. I’ve never felt anything more perfect than her.
I’m teetering on the edge, not sure how much longer I can last. “Come for me, babe, I need to feel you come around my cock.”
Moments later, her pussy spasms as she throws her head back and screams out my name.
My fucking name.
It’s enough to send me spirally over the edge. “Fuck, Carla… fuck.” My body stills as my hips jerk forward, spilling myself deep inside her. Staking my claim. Marking my territory.
Mine.
I rest my forehead against hers as we both try to catch our breath. I came in here to talk, I never expected this to happen. Trust me, though, I’m not complaining.
“Tell me you still love me, babe… that we can try again. Try to get back what we once had. I don’t know what I did wrong, but I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry. I need you in my life. I feel empty inside without you.” I know I’m putting it all on the line here, setting myself up for heartbreak again, but she needs to know. If it’s the only chance I’m going to get, I’ll take it.
Cupping her face in my hands, I draw back. It’s only then I realize she’s crying. She looks so fucking sad, so broken. It tears my heart in two.