Always On His Mind

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Always On His Mind Page 6

by Shanae Johnson


  Reece didn’t have time to catch those ones. They would have to fall. It was time to give his own vow to the woman who’d indeed brought him back to life.

  "With all my heart, I, Reece Joseph Cartwright, take you, Elsbeth Elaine Barrett, to be my wife. I promise to be your lover, your companion, and your friend. I will be your partner in joy, your ally in conflict, your greatest fan in all that you endeavor. I will be your comrade in adventure, your comfort in disappointment, your accomplice in mischief, your strength in times of need. I will listen with understanding and trust you completely for all the days of my life. This is my sacred vow.”

  Both Beth and Reece had allowed the elderly pastor to pick out their vows for them. As the other married couples on the ranch had informed them, the man had a way with vows. Each oath he swore made an imprint on Reece's heart as a solemn truth that he would defend for all his days.

  "You may now kiss your bride."

  Reece didn't need to be told twice. He gathered Beth to him, wrapping one hand around her waist and the other around the nape of her neck.

  Beth took in a breath as she tilted her head back, opening for him. Reece brushed his lips lightly over hers. That first touch was like a match. The second touch caught fire. He ached to deepen the kiss, but the applause and shouts from the audience pulled him back.

  That was their first kiss as husband and wife. It was the first kiss that he would remember. And it certainly wouldn't be the last.

  Chapter Twelve

  The vows solidified it for Beth. This was definitely the right thing to do. Reece’s words still echoed in her ears. It didn't matter that they were composed by another man. Pastor Patel had a knack for writing the vows of the ones he married. He always got to the heart of what the two people needed in their lives and crafted just the right words both needed to say to convey that.

  She was Mrs. Reece Cartwright. All the doodling in her notebooks, all the pining each night in her childhood bed, all the wishing on stars falling from the skies, and pennies being tossed into wells, and prayers to God had manifested this.

  Beth knew that when Reece said those vows, he'd meant them. If she hadn't believed his promises, then she would've known this was the right thing by that kiss. Oh, Lord in Heaven, that kiss.

  The first brush of his lips against hers had been cursory. But the second taste had been filled with hunger. She knew because she'd felt it too. She'd wanted a third and fourth taste, but they weren't alone. They were in a room full of their closest family and friends. So, it would have to wait.

  Until tonight.

  Her wedding night.

  Beth stumbled at the thought. Reece was there to catch her before she fell. They were making their way back down the aisle surrounded by the cheers and well-wishes of everyone they knew.

  With her stumble, Reece looked at her with concern in his blue eyes. When he gathered that she was all right, he smiled at her. All worry about the night and what it held fled Beth’s body to be replaced by the heat of desire.

  As much as she'd dreamed of saying I do to Reece, she hadn’t thought much about the wedding night. She’d been a girl with a crush. Then a woman with a broken heart. Now that she was Mrs. Reece Cartwright, her wedding night with her husband was all she could think about.

  People came up and congratulated her, but all Beth could think was whether or not they knew what the blush on her cheeks really meant. Food was passed around the table during the reception, but Beth couldn’t eat a thing as she worried how the extra slice of bread might make her look later.

  She watched Reece as he piled mac and cheese on his plate. Then greens. And, finally BBQ chicken. She wondered if he would mix them up like he did when they were younger.

  As Mr. and Mrs. Fowler came over to offer their congratulations, Reece absentmindedly mixed the three dishes on his plate. He waited to take a bite until after the couple had moved back to their table. As Reece chewed his food, a look of pure ecstasy came across his features.

  “This is my favorite, isn’t it?”

  He asked no one in particular. He was remembering more and more. What would happen when he remembered everything? And that everything hadn’t included the love he’d professed for her today?

  But she hadn’t made this all up. He did feel something for her now. Which had to mean he’d felt something for her always. Love didn’t just happen out of thin air. Right?

  Beth wasn’t sure. What she did know was that now that she had his love, she wasn’t going to give it up. She was determined to make her husband see that the love between them should’ve always been there.

  "I know this song," Reece said.

  The sappy love song blaring on the speakers had been the theme song at their junior prom. Her date, Steve Hudson, had gone off to kiss another girl midway through the dance when Beth hadn't offered her lips to him. Beth had been left standing alone on the dance floor. Until Reece came to her rescue.

  Reece had come over to dance with her, even though he had brought Lisa Webber to the dance. This was the song that had been playing during that dance. Beth had listened to it on repeat for an entire year after the dance.

  "Would you like to dance?" Reece asked her now.

  Beth placed her hand in his. The colorful gems of her ring sparkled next to the gold band on his left hand. Reece led her out onto the dance floor. Wrapping his arms around her and holding her closer than he had when they were teens, he moved in time to the beat.

  A few bars into the song and Beth began to wonder if he was remembering more than he let on. His steps anticipated the changes in the music where he could turn her, much like he did when they were at the school dance. Near the end of the song, he hummed a few of the lyrics. She’d heard the lyrics of unrequited love so many times, but never in the voice of the man she loved. Now that she had, the original version would pale in comparison.

  Just before the song was over, Reece stopped. His steps halted, but he did not let her go. He pulled her close. But he wasn’t looking down at her, he was looking away.

  Beth turned to look over her shoulder, trying to see what had caught his attention. She knew it wasn’t dangerous, as no other soldier was on alert. And she was right. There was no danger. Still, her heart skipped a couple of beats as the man approached them.

  A broad smile crossed Reece’s features as her father came up to them. Reece released his hold on Beth and opened his arms to embrace her father. "Pastor Barrett."

  Beth's father looked surprised. His body stiffened, but he allowed the hug. After only a couple of seconds, all stiffness and stoicism went out of the older man. He lifted his arms and wrapped Reece in a firm grip, holding on a second longer.

  Pastor Barrett pulled away and stared into Reece's eyes. He began to say something and then choked up. Instead of trying to force the words, the older man hugged Reece to him again.

  "I recognized you instantly," said Reece. "Just like I did with Reegan and Beth. I suppose that happens with the people I was closest too."

  "It's good to have you home, son," said Pastor Barrett.

  "I'm glad you made it," said Reece. "I know this was sudden, and I can't remember if I asked for your permission before I lost my memory, but know I'll cherish your daughter all my days."

  Once again, the senior pastor of the church, the man who was never at a loss for words, choked on whatever he was about to say. Pastor Barrett took a deep breath and said his piece slowly.

  "I practically raised you, so I know what kind of man you are. I couldn't want better for my daughter. You have my blessing. You always did.”

  And then father turned to daughter. Beth took a deep breath as her father regarded her. Even though it was her wedding day, she felt that she was about to be sent to time out for disobedience.

  "May I have this dance?”

  Beth let out the air she’d been holding. She literally flew into her father’s arms. When he wrapped his arms around her, she buried her face in his chest and cried.

  "I'm sor
ry, Daddy."

  "I'm sorry I missed your vows. By the time I came to my senses, the ceremony had already started."

  "You're here now."

  "I am. I may not have agreed with how you got here, but I had always hoped that Reece would be your path.”

  “You did?” Beth glanced up at the man she respected more than any other in the world.

  “Of course, I did.” Her father brushed away the tears on her cheeks. “I know Reece would never hurt you."

  “He's already made me so happy. And I'm going to make him happy, whether he gets his memories back or not.”

  "Then, you have my blessing."

  The moment he said the words, Beth realized how much she’d needed to hear them. Now this, her marriage, her future, it all felt real.

  Chapter Thirteen

  The wedding festivities lasted far after the sun went down. Young and old continued to sway to the beats coming from the speakers. Plates and cups were refilled a few more times. Boisterous laughter could be heard from each nook and cranny of the enclosed yard just outside the barn.

  Reece listened politely as unfamiliar faces came to tell him stories from his past. Stories he had no recollection of unless they featured Beth. If they brought up his wife's name, Reece would often get a sliver of vision of times gone by.

  He’d reach out and try to touch those memories. He tried to pull the delicate strands closer. He wanted to hold onto anything that reminded him of her, his wife.

  At times when his neighbors and friends brought up his parents, Reece looked away from the brightness of those flashbacks. The recollections didn't hurt like trying to remember the explosion back in the desert. Still, Reece knew that if he shone a light on those memories featuring his parents, those soft spots of light would only invite more glaring rays.

  So, he listened politely without letting anything penetrate. Except, of course, for the times when someone mentioned Beth's name.

  A next-door neighbor recounted the time when an adolescent Beth was bundled up in a parka out in her front yard. Apparently, Reece had come over to her, plopped down in the snow without his winter coat. The two had made angels in the snow. Reece had gone home shivering and had to stay in bed for two days with a head cold. Beth had made him a paper angel to watch over him until he was well.

  One of his grade school teachers told of a field trip to the beach. Instead of getting in the water, Reece and Beth had built a sand castle half their size. Beth had declared herself a princess and Reece her prince. However, Reece had insisted he was a Knight’s Templar.

  Not all of the memories were of happy times. He felt her hand in his after her mother passed away when she was barely a teen. He felt her head resting on his shoulder. He felt the strands of her hair falling through his fingers as he gave her solace.

  As the people who’d known them both their whole lives continued recounting tales, Reece’s mind went on a trek of its own. A trek where each memory marker featured Beth. It appeared he'd been there nearly every major moment of her life. So, why had it taken so long for him to admit his feelings to her?

  He wanted to ask her. But now wasn't the time. They weren't alone.

  Reece’s gaze swept the crowd looking for his wife. She’d been at his side most of the night. At some point, they’d become separated. He felt an emptiness beside him that was just her shape and height.

  He found her sitting in a group of older women. The women spoke animatedly to her, over her head, and across her. For her part, Beth smiled politely, her eyes blinking slowly as though the lids were heavy.

  It had been a long day. He knew that she was tired. He could see the exhaustion written across Beth’s face, but the smile on her lips said she’d fight through it. It wasn’t the first time he’d seen that expression.

  More flashes of memory skittered through his mind. He saw Beth's face in the firelight. He saw her smile illuminated by a movie screen, a television screen, a computer screen.

  With each instance, she looked up at him with the same heavy-lidded smile. Beth, he remembered, was not a night person. She was up with the dawn, eyes bright. But when the sun set, so did she.

  "You ready to go?"

  Beth turned to him. Her eyes lit when she saw him, the weariness receded to the corners of her gaze until all traces were gone. She nodded enthusiastically. His heart filled with knowing that he could incite that emotion in her, that she clearly wanted to be alone with him as much as he wanted to be alone with her.

  Beth said their goodbyes for the two of them. Reece couldn't remember a single name of the people he’d been chatting with the entire day. No one appeared to take offense. They all gave him encouraging smiles and nods.

  Reece took Beth’s hand as they walked across the dark pastures. The newlyweds were silent, but it was a comfortable silence. A silence of two people who knew each other.

  Arriving at their front door, Reece hesitated. Should he carry her over the threshold? He knew the answer was yes. Beth was traditional in that sense.

  "Reece? What are you—ah!"

  He swept her off her feet and into his arms. Her weight was slight. She felt right in his arms.

  "You'll hurt yourself," she protested.

  "I only hurt my head."

  "You don't have to do this.” She continued to wiggle in protest.

  "I have to do it right,” he chided. “We're only getting married the one time."

  Reece carried his bride over the threshold. Once inside, he didn't want to put her down. There was so much he’d lost, but this he knew for certain; he never wanted to let this woman go.

  Her arms were wrapped around his neck. Her face tilted back as she gazed up at him. Her lips were there for the taking.

  He could take them. She was his wife now. She was also willing by the look in her eyes. So he took.

  Their first kiss in front of the entire town had been sweet. This kiss warmed him down through his fingertips and down to his toes. His knees felt weak, and so he put Beth down. But he didn't stop the kiss. He deepened it, drinking from her like a man taking his first sip of cool water.

  He felt alive for the first time since he'd woken up. This was what he was born for, kissing Beth Barrett.

  No. She was Beth Cartwright. She was his wife. He could kiss her all night. He could even do more.

  As though she’d heard his thoughts, Beth caught her breath. She pulled away from him. But only her mouth.

  They both were breathing hard, chests panting from their shared desire. Beth rested her hands on Reece’s chest. She didn’t press against him, but Reece got the signal that she didn’t want him to advance any further.

  He could’ve pressed his suit. There was no fight in her, as evidenced by the way she laid her forehead against his chin. Having not had his fill of her, Reece pressed his lips to her forehead. He wrapped his arms around her waist. They stayed like that while he waited for another signal, either for his retreat, or hopefully, for him to advance further.

  Though he wished for one outcome, he would honor either option. And then Beth did something he wasn't expecting. She giggled.

  "I never thought this would happen," she said. "I can't believe I'm finally kissing you. I can't believe I'm your wife. It's a dream."

  "No," he said vehemently. "Please, no. I was asleep for days. This has been the best part of waking up."

  She gazed up at him, open and vulnerable. Her fingertips curled at their place on his chest. Her lips trembled as she spoke to him.

  “I love you. So much. I've never said it to your face. I thought I'd never have the chance.” She took a deep breath. The next time she spoke, there were no tremors. Her voice was resounding and sure. “Reece, I love you. I've loved you all my life. I'm ready to give myself to you."

  Reece opened his mouth to say the same. She’d already said the words. He had the script for what he needed to say.

  But nothing came out.

  He took a deep breath. A tremor ran through him as he gulped down a breath.
When he tried again, his voice caught on something. The only sound that came out was a squeak.

  Beth's face fell. It was like watching a rose wilt in the moonlight. One by one, the petals fell, leaving the bare stamen of the flower exposed.

  Her hands recoiled from their place at his heart. She stepped back. But Reece didn't let her get far.

  "Beth, I ..."

  "Don’t.” She stiffened her fingers and pressed her palms into his chest. “Don't say anything."

  "I have to."

  "Reece, please.” Her hands balled into tight fists over his heart. “It was too much. I shouldn't have said those things. It's been a long day. We should get some rest."

  She stepped toward the spare room. Reece wasn’t sure what to do. He knew that sleeping together was out of the question tonight. But he knew he couldn’t let her go to bed thinking he didn’t care for her.

  “Beth, what you said was perfect. You're perfect. You're the first thing I wanted when I woke up. You're the first thing I’ve thought of each morning since I've been awake, even back in the desert. Tomorrow will be no different for me."

  She turned to him, a bright ray of hope in her eyes. Reece closed the distance between them. He pulled her to him, pressing his lips to her forehead again and reinforcing his brand.

  “I’m not the same man you fell in love with. I’m sure you’ve changed too. But I know with everything in me that you’re the woman I’m supposed to be with. Please believe that.”

  “I do.”

  He smiled down at her. Then he pressed another kiss to her lips, just a small one. He knew that if he lingered, he would get no rest tonight.

  “Sleep well,” he said, releasing her. “We'll start our new life together in the morning."

  Chapter Fourteen

  She was an idiot.

 

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