“Matthew 11:25,” said Walter.
Reece nodded.
“You know your scriptures well.”
“I was told that I have a B.A. in Biblical Studies. I can remember full passages of the Bible. It’s just people and experiences that I’m having trouble with.”
“I’ve only ever heard what a good man you are.”
“Beth said the same about you,” said Reece. “I hope that one day we might get to know each other better. And I hope that you can forgive her for my trespasses.”
Reece inclined his head to Beth. He loosened his grip on her and draped an arm around her shoulder. Beth snuggled into his hold as Walter’s gaze found hers for the first time. But only briefly before settling back on Reece.
“I wish the two of you well.” Walter turned and went back into his office. He closed the door behind him with a quiet snick.
It was the best they were going to get. The wounds were too fresh. Beth hoped that one day soon Walter would come to forgive her her trespasses. But she knew that day would be far, far into the future.
“That went better than expected,” said Reece as he turned her away from the door. “If I lost you to him, I’d be on the floor.”
Beth gazed up at her husband. The statement seemed absurd now. No matter how much she would’ve tried, she would never love another man the way she loved this one.
Reece’s blue eyes sparkled as he looked down at her. A warm smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. And then his lips were on hers, brushing lightly.
He hadn’t pressed his suit on her these last few days. But neither had he kept his hands and lips to himself. His hands always rested softly, just a hint of weight. However, Beth felt the yearning need of possession in how his fingertips would curl ever so slightly into the fabric of her dress.
His kisses were soft, patient, fluttering touches. Yet the hot breath he’d exhale when they parted always told her the full truth; Reece wanted her as a husband wanted his wife.
Each night he held back. Waiting for … something. Beth wasn’t sure what, and she wasn’t sure how to ask. With each embrace, with every caress, she knew she wouldn’t have to wait much longer.
They entered the Bible study room. It was a relatively full house. Ten people were gathered in the semi-circle of chairs. One of the junior pastors was in charge tonight.
Reece leaned forward as he’d always done in school classrooms. He’d always sat dutifully when he was in church services, following along in the leather-bound Bible that had belonged to his father. But he thrived in these types of lecture settings.
He offered up his thoughts on the night’s readings, but in no way manipulated the conversation. He listened to the other parishioners with keen interest. He built on the ideas put forth by the pastor. He searched for deeper context, often pulling in other instances in the scriptures. Soon, everyone was leaning forward and listening to him before offering their own thoughts.
“Did I want to become a pastor?” he asked as they left the study group.
Before Beth could answer, a deep male voice beat her to it.
“No, I would’ve loved that if you did.”
They both turned to the sound of Pastor Barrett’s voice. The man was standing at the church’s great doors. He was in his shirtsleeves, his jacket slung over his arm and his car keys in his hand.
“You liked the academic side most. The history around the scriptures, the development of the church. Not to mention the cultural aspects of the old world. That’s why you began learning the old world languages.”
“I speak four languages, don’t I?” said Reece.
He repeated the sentence in three distinct languages. Beth couldn’t make out any of the harsh sounding words.
“Why don’t you two come over for dinner?” said her father.
“You cooked?” asked Beth.
“Pfft.” Her father let out a harsh breath. “Why do you think I’m inviting you over? So that you can make your old man a good meal.”
Beth let go of Reece’s hand and snuggled under her father’s hold. The three of them walked out of the church and down the street together. It felt like old times. Beth’s heart was ready to burst with the joy of it.
While Beth wrangled a meal of baked chicken breasts, roasted potatoes, and green beans, Reece and her father kept up the discussion in the other room. Their conversation lasted all through dinner and beyond. They didn’t exclude Beth. In fact, they asked her opinion at many turns.
Beth wasn’t interested in the topic. Talking seemed like a chore when she simply wanted to watch, listen, and soak in the scene before her. Her father and her husband at the dinner table, their bellies full from a meal she’d crafted.
A quarter of an hour later, when she saw that the conversation was still going strong, Beth decided to take on another duty that had been hers when she’d still lived at home. She loaded the dishes and wiped down the counters.
Poking her head into her father’s office, she saw that it was in disarray since she’d last been home. Even though she was now married, she’d need to make her visits to her former home much more frequent. She knew her father could do without her. He just hadn’t adjusted yet, and he didn’t truly need to. Beth was happy to manage both households. She certainly had the time, now that she felt comfortable back in both her family church and her family home.
She straightened the books on the shelf, replacing texts he’d used in preparing a sermon last month. She straightened her father’s papers, sorting the documents into various piles. There was a separate pile of unopened mail at the corner of the desk. A few bills, a few letters from parishioners, and a few pieces addressed to her. One envelope, in particular, stuck out.
It was army issue.
It was from Reece.
The post stamp was from over a month ago. Sometimes military mail was delayed, especially when it came from overseas. So this would’ve been from Reece before he lost his memory.
It could be one of his normal letters. They’d written to each other his entire military career, preferring the handwritten notes to emails and phone calls. Somehow, she doubted it was a normal correspondence.
Her fingers trembled as they set to the task at hand. Beth tore the lip of the envelope carefully. The first line tore at her heart.
Dear Beth,
You are my dearest friend. I love you like you were my sister…
She heard the words in her head in Reece’s own voice, an echo of the one and only time she’d tried to tell him her feelings face to face. He’d let her down gently then. The letter was a repeat performance.
She didn’t read the entire missive. She couldn’t. She knew where it would end having been there before.
Beth looked down at the ring on her finger. The one he’d so carefully chosen for her based on the memories he did have of her. He had no recollection of this letter now. But one day, he would.
What was she going to do until that day?
Chapter Seventeen
“It really is good to have you back, son.”
Reece sat back in the recliner in the Barretts’s living room. It felt normal, natural. He was certain he’d done this before. Many times.
The lights were dim. The memories breezing through his mind were easy and non-threatening. He remembered Christmas morning at the Barretts. He remembered Sunday dinners. But mostly, he remembered Beth.
“I admit I had fantasies of you and Beth getting together when you were younger,” said Pastor Barrett. “But you always seemed more like siblings than anything romantic.”
Reece frowned at the thought. His feelings for Beth were most certainly not brotherly. Though he wasn’t about to admit that to her father. Reece hoped that he and Beth would soon take their relationship to the next level.
He’d taken his time with her. Sticking to a few chaste kisses. Tempering his touches and embraces to remain light. He wanted to be sure their relationship was firmly rooted in the present and not relying on the past, especially
since he didn’t have a full picture of the past. He wanted to be sure that Beth loved him for the man he was today, as he loved her for the woman that she was in this moment.
He felt certain that the mission had been achieved. He believed the next time he took his wife in his arms and kissed her they wouldn’t be falling to sleep immediately. Just thinking about it, he felt his cheeks heating, which would not do while he was sitting in front of her father.
Reece turned his gaze to the window, hoping the moonlight scene would cool his ardor. Under the light of the moon, he saw a familiar structure across the street. He realized what the dark outline was.
“Have you been to see it?” Pastor Barrett asked.
Reece shook his head. His fingers gripped the leather cushion of the seat. “I think I should.”
“Do you want me to come with you?”
“No,” Reece said rising. “Let Beth know I’m outside.”
Once outside, Reece barely made it across the street before his knees went weak. He smelled char. Patches of the roof were missing. There was no glass in any of the windows. Two black smears ran down the front of the house. It was as though happiness leaked out of the structure. It looked war-torn.
A light breeze blew on the wind, ruffling the ghosts of memories around his mind. Reece saw his parents sneaking kisses on the patio when they thought he and Reegan weren’t looking. Another flash showed him and his sister running through the sprinklers on a warm summer’s day. Another glimmer displayed him and his friends playing a game of soldiers where they lined up and marched across the lawn.
Reece walked closer, his feet making a slow march toward his past. The memories were calling to him, like a blow horn. They pushed at the back of his brain, trying to make their way forward.
And then an explosion broke the barrier.
Reece’s logical brain knew that the sound was of a car backfiring. But the memories took the opportunity to charge forward. Down to his knees, he went, hard. The assault of his entire past flooding his temple shot pain throughout his entire body until he felt like his fingers and toes were the barrel of a discharging firearm.
He took a deep breath, fighting for air, fighting to maintain consciousness. Dirt touched his lips. Concrete abraded his palms. Blinding light filled his eyes.
And then he felt hands on his back. But when he looked up, it wasn’t a face covered by cloth like when he’d woken up the first time. It wasn’t the face of his sister that mirrored his own. It wasn’t the face of his wife, whom his heart had known instantly.
“Mrs. Harrison?”
“Are you all right, dear boy?”
That’s what she called everyone; dear boy or dear girl. Kids were dear to Mrs. Harrison because she’d never had any of her own.
Reece remembered that. He remembered her. Mrs. Harrison, the wife of grumpy old Mr. Harrison. Her husband had only ever scowled at the neighborhood kids, but his wife always smiled and had cookies in her apron.
“You remember me?” asked Mrs. Harrison.
“I remember everything.”
He remembered his parents sending him off for training camp. The mix of worry and pride intermingling on their faces. He remembered his first tour and the apprehension he’d felt on the flight overseas. He remembered his first few months on base, making friends, and bonding with his team.
His team; Chase, Lucas, and Ortega. They were his brothers.
He remembered the look in Lucas’s eyes just before the bomb had gone off. That look hadn’t been in fear of his own life. It had been about Reece, and the knowledge Brandon wouldn’t get to him in time.
But he’d come back for him. And now they were true brothers. Reece had lost consciousness in that explosion, and he’d woken with a whole new lease on life.
Now more than ever, he knew what was important. Family. Not just the family by blood, but the family that he’d chosen and those who had chosen him.
His fire team was his family. The men and women of the Purple Heart Ranch were his family. The people of this town were all his family. But most importantly, Beth was his family.
Beth.
He needed to get to Beth. He needed to tell her that he remembered. But first, he had to escort Mrs. Harrison back across the street.
As he deposited the older woman at her porch, she reached into her pocket and handed him a cookie. He returned the warm embrace she gave him, holding her tight as he’d realized he needed a motherly hug. After she was safely inside, Reece turned back to the Barretts.
It was when he passed the mailbox that a particularly unpleasant memory shoved its way to the forefront. The letter. After he’d received Beth’s letter, he’d written a response.
The words he’d pressed to parchment seemed like a foreign language to him now. In response to the confession of her feelings for him, Reece had let her down. His words had been as gentle as he could make them. He didn’t want to lose her. He prized her friendship above all others. But he didn’t have those feelings for her.
Well, he hadn’t. Not then. Now? Now she was all he thought about.
What had he been thinking back then? It had always been Beth. True, he hadn’t realized it then. Would he have realized it had he not forgotten who he was?
It didn’t matter. He didn’t want to be anyone other than Beth’s husband. That’s where his new life began, and he had no intention of walking backward. Then a terrible thought hit him.
What if Beth had gotten that letter?
He remembered writing it. Had he actually sent it? He couldn’t remember that.
He remembered his high school gym locker. He remembered his college roommate’s middle name. But he couldn’t remember if he’d posted a letter that would change his life if it fell into the wrong hands.
And then she appeared in the doorway. Beth peered out into the night. Backlit by the porch light, she looked like an angel. He would’ve followed her anywhere.
He came to her, needing to be near her but afraid to touch her. She looked so ethereal he was afraid she’d dissolve if he actually reached out to her.
“Is everything okay?” she asked.
She looked worried and unsure. Her gaze flickered behind him. Out of the corner of his eye, Reece saw what caused her distress; the remains of his house. She was worried that seeing the destruction of his family home had upset him.
She was wrong. It was just bricks and mortar. The only thing that could rip his heart out now was her rejection.
“What’s past is past,” he said. “You’re my home now.”
She closed her eyes and breathed a sigh of relief. Reece opened his mouth and inhaled her breath. Unfortunately, there was still the smell of smoke and char in the air.
Chapter Eighteen
Since their wedding, the past nights they'd lain together Reece held onto her, tightly. To be sure, Beth had wanted her husband to press his suit and claim his marital rights. But he insisted on taking things slowly; on the two of them getting to know each other as they were now.
Beth had been content to play along. So long as he stole kisses from her after breakfast. So long as he opened his strong arms to her each night. So long as he pressed his nose into her hair when their heads hit the pillow.
She could spend the rest of her life receiving light caresses from her husband. She could wait forever in his attentive embraces. She could hold still and tamp down her desire for more interminably, so long as his lips remained pressed against her hair, her cheek, her lips. It was enough.
Tonight, however, he kept his distance.
Not physically. They lay side-by-side. Reece held Beth’s hand in his own, but his fingers were not clamped down on hers. The hold was loose.
His head was turned away. He stared up at the ceiling. His brows were pinched together, making an M-shape. More than anything, Beth wanted to reach over and smooth the M out into a placid line. Instead, she kept her hand in his loose embrace.
A light shone into the bedroom. They forgot to turn off the hall ligh
t. But Reece hadn't made a single complaint about it. Beth doubt he’d even noticed it.
Had it worn off? Whatever had made him rush into her arms and away from the light. Whatever had made him decide he wanted her in the darkness?
Beth turned away from the light. She unraveled her fingers from his. He did not protest. He did not reach out to bring her back. He barely stirred from his quiet reverie.
She turned over onto her side. Pressing her palms together and resting her cheek against her hands, Beth stared out the window. She blinked, and it was dawn.
She hadn’t slept a wink. She hadn’t changed position in the night. Turning to face her husband, the bags under his eyes told her he hadn't moved his position or slept either.
She didn't know what to say to him. She wasn't ready to tell him the truth; that she’d received his letter telling her that he harbored no romantic feelings toward her. She likely wouldn’t have to. By his avoidance of her last night, something inside him was already coming to that realization.
And then what?
Would they have the marriage annulled? There were grounds for it. Plenty of grounds.
Her husband wasn’t in his right frame of mind when he said his vows. The bride had knowingly misled the groom. The marriage hadn’t been consummated.
“Beth?”
Beth looked up to find Reece leaning over her. His handsome face gazed down at her, blue eyes filled with concern. His smile was soft, not containing hunger as it had been every night before he closed his eyes after their chaste kissing. He rested his head on the knuckles of one hand while his other hand boxed her in.
Beth wanted to stay in the cage of his arms. She wanted to reach out and press her hand over his heart and keep it there for the rest of their days. Or for just one more day. A few more hours. She’d settle for a few more seconds.
His hand came to her face. His thumb brushed her cheek, just under her eyelid where she was certain dark circles hung.
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