“Oh yeah?” Cameron pulled up a barstool and took a swig of his beer. “What’s been going on?”
“Where do I start?” Caden pulled the darts out of the dartboard, went back to the starting point, and began throwing them again. “How about I married the mother of my child without a thought for what came next.”
“Go on.”
“I convinced her that Liam needed two parents and I don’t regret what I said, but I may have glossed over what marriage to me might actually look like.” At Cameron’s blank expression, Caden continued. “She didn’t understand that marrying meant we, she, would be knee deep in campaigning for the governor’s office and she would be in the public eye often, possibly have to give up her job to accommodate my dreams. I mean, I did mention to her that she might have to give up her job, but then I told her that that might only entail taking a leave of absence.”
“Surely she must have thought about it. You didn’t hide what you did for a living.”
“No, but the average person has no idea what it’s like to run for public office. I could have prepared her better. So needless to say, she’s been struggling to find her footing.”
“Do you regret asking her to marry you?”
“No, not for a single minute. I lo …” Caden stopped himself before he said words he couldn’t take back.
“Love her,” Cameron finished the sentence for him. “Why are you so afraid to say it?”
“I can’t put myself back in that vulnerable position again. Before, when she left, it took me a long time to get over her.”
“Did you ever?” Cameron asked. “Because I’ve never really seen you get serious about any woman. You’ve always kept them at arm’s length despite their best attempts to snag you. Perhaps it’s always been Savannah.”
“No.” Caden shook his head. “We are compatible, that’s all. There’s nothing more.”
“You’re not fooling me, bro, but you could be fooling yourself.”
“Hey, I didn’t come here for thought-provoking conversation. I came to talk to my little brother and have a beer. What’s going on with you and your lady anyway?”
“She’s fantastic, Caden. Everything I could have wished for and more.”
“It’s like that?”
“Yeah. We’re committed to being monogamous, though I think Monae may have started hearing wedding bells.”
“How do you feel about that?”
“I definitely see a future with Monae, though I’m not ready to pull the trigger on proposing.”
“Then you should bring her to meet the family. I’d like to get to know the woman who has stolen your heart.”
“I dunno, bro. After how Mom treated Savannah … I don’t want to subject Monae to that kind of scrutiny.”
“Mother has been chastised. I doubt she would ever think to involve herself in another son’s love life. Otherwise she risks alienating us all.”
“I suppose.”
“Give it some thought,” Caden said. Then he spun around and in quick succession threw every dart in the bullseye. There was nothing wrong with him. Savannah hadn’t stolen his mojo.
Chapter 22
“I can’t believe you did this,” Savannah said once she, Liam, and Caden sat down in one of the private suites at Oriole Park for a Baltimore Orioles game a few weeks later, on a Sunday. The suite was quite luxurious, with climate-controlled interior seating, high-def TVs, a wet bar with a buffet station lined with ballpark fare, a private restroom, and comfortable outdoor seating, which they now found themselves in.
It was amazing to think how far they’d come. Over the past several weeks, their marriage had fallen into a conventional one. They slept together often and shared their day’s goings-on with each other. Caden talked to Savannah about his job as mayor and confided how difficult it was going to be to fight Eric Thomas.
He valued her mind as well as her body, and Savannah found that Caden was becoming a more important part of her life. Today, he was capturing her attention in dark jeans and a polo shirt showing off his biceps and wide chest. And there was his wide mouth, which curved upward in a smile as he looked at her.
“I wanted to give Liam something special,” Caden said, breaking into her thoughts as he glanced down at their son, who was already enthralled with the players warming up on the field.
“This is great!” Liam said, leaning closer to the railing. “I can see the whole field from here. It’s much better than watching at home.”
“I’m glad you think so,” Caden said with a smile. “Would you like something to eat? The suite has hot dogs, bratwurst, and burgers, or if there’s something else you want, I’m sure I can find it.”
Liam glanced up long enough to say, “I’ll have a hot dog, please, with mustard only, no ketchup, and a Coca-Cola.”
“Coke it is.”
Liam turned and shook his head. “No, it’s called Coca-Cola.”
Caden nodded. “Of course.” He was learning not to argue with Liam when he was dead set on something. Arguing would only cause his son to experience anxiety. “Savannah, anything for you? A beer perhaps?”
“Yes, I’ll have an ice cold beer and a bratwurst with sauerkraut and mustard.”
“You won’t be able to taste the bratwurst,” Liam interjected.
“But that’s how I like it,” Savannah said and inclined her head, signaling for Caden to go on ahead. Caden had made a habit of catering to her this last month as if she was truly important to him. He accepted her for who she was and had stopped trying to fit a square peg into a round hole.
“I think I like having a father,” Liam said by her side moments after Caden stepped out to get their food.
“You do?” It was the first he’d spoken of his feelings toward Caden.
Liam nodded. “He knows a lot of things, and I can talk to him.”
“You can talk to me.”
Liam gave her a sideward glance. “It’s not the same. He’s a boy. You’re a girl. He understands what it’s like to be a boy.”
Savannah chuckled inwardly. Trust Liam to break it down so simply. “I’m glad you like him. I was worried.”
“Is that why you kept me from him?” Liam asked.
The question was so out of the blue that Savannah was momentarily stunned. “No, that’s not why. It doesn’t matter anyway because we’re a family now.”
“Okay.” Liam accepted her answer and turned back around to face the game.
Savannah couldn’t tell him the truth, which was that she’d feared Caden’s family might try to take Liam from her. Back then, she’d been so young and barely able to support herself, let alone the both of them, but she’d made due. But she couldn’t very well tell Liam this. She didn’t want him to have any negative feelings toward his grandparents.
Caden returned several minutes later, holding two boxes, one with a hot dog and Coca-Cola for Liam and another for Savannah with her bratwurst and beer. Both Liam and Savannah graciously accepted their food. Savannah was looking forward to a great afternoon.
Suddenly, Caden’s cellphone rang. Pulling it from his jeans pocket, he glanced down. “Got to take this. I’ll be right back.”
Savannah was munching on her bratwurst and washing it down with the cold beer when Caden returned to his seat. She sensed his agitation.
“What’s wrong?” she whispered.
“Jack finally got an invitation from Gerald Lewis, the head of the Baltimore NAACP chapter, to meet with us to discuss his potential endorsement.”
“And?”
“He’d like to meet right now.”
“Now?” Savannah’s voice rose, and Liam looked up at them. “Caden, you promised Sundays would be our day. Family day.”
“I know and I’m sorry, but this can’t be avoided.”
She sensed he was upset about the matter because a
frown marred his chocolate features, but Savannah was afraid of the fallout with Liam. This would be very upsetting, especially after he’d just admitted to caring for Caden.
“Can you tell Liam?” Caden asked.
“Oh no you don’t.” She shook her head. “You don’t get to turn tail and run and leave me with the fallout. You tell your son.”
“Tell me what?” Liam said, glancing back up at them. “The game is about to start soon. You should get your food and come back and sit.”
Caden glanced at Savannah first, then Liam, and then back at Savannah, but she wasn’t budging. She shouldn’t be the only parent dealing with Liam.
“Liam, listen, son. Something has come up, and I have to leave, but you and your mother can stay as long as you like. The entire suite is yours for the day.”
“We just got here!” Liam yelled. Several pairs of eyes from neighboring suites glanced in their direction.
“I know, Liam. And I’m sorry. Truly, I am. I wanted nothing more than to spend time with you and your mom today, but I need to do this.”
“No! No!” Liam’s voice rose with each word and steadily became louder. “You said Sunday was going to be family day. You’re not supposed to work on Sundays.”
“I know what I said, but this is unavoidable.”
“Then you’re a liar,” Liam spat the words out at him, and even Savannah was taken aback by the anger in them, “because a liar is someone who leads you to believe something that is not true.”
“Liam.” Caden went to move toward him, but Liam moved away.
“I don’t want to be touched. I DON’T WANT TO BE TOUCHED!” Liam moved as far away as he could from Caden until he was standing in a corner. Then he began chanting and repeating the sentence.
“Okay!” Caden held up his hands and backed away from him. “I’ll move away.” He glanced at his watch and then back at Savannah. “I’m sorry, but I need to go. Here are my keys. You can drive home when the game is over.”
“And you?”
“Jack has car service waiting for me outside.”
“Of course he does.” Savannah shook her head in dismay and rolled her eyes. “Just go, Caden.”
He stared at her for several seconds as if he was debating what to do, so she lowered her head, unable to look at him. In the end, she knew what he would choose. And she was right. When she lifted her head, Caden was gone, leaving her to pick up the pieces.
As he slid into the waiting Lincoln Town Car, Caden hated how he’d left the ballpark. He’d never wanted to be the reason his son was so upset. Not today. Today marked one of the few occasions they’d been able to go out as a family without a bunch of fanfare. Other than an occasional dinner out, there were always events and rallies to attend. Savannah had gone to some, but other times she’d stayed behind at home with Liam, as she should.
Caden feared he’d just walked back all the progress he’d made with Liam. He’d finally started forming a relationship with him. Liam loved baseball and all the stats and figures. Caden had looked forward to seeing Liam’s brain tick and bonding with his son over the game.
Instead, he was en route to his campaign office for a quick change of clothes and to prep with Jack for the meeting. Caden was doing everything in his power to turn the tide. Polls had shown he had made some progress in the state, but there was so much more work to be done and an endorsement from Gerald Lewis would go a long way.
When the car stopped, Caden jumped out and rushed into his campaign headquarters.
“Thank God. I wasn’t sure if you’d come,” Jack said.
Caden frowned. “Of course I would. I know how important Gerald Lewis is to my campaign.”
“True, but it’s Sunday, your family day.”
Caden shrugged and walked to his office to change clothes in the small private bath.
“How did it go with the family?” Jack asked. At Caden’s stone expression, Jack changed topics. “Alright then, well, I’ll wait for you out here.” He pointed to the reception area.
“Do that.”
Caden was showered and changed in fifteen minutes. In the Lincoln, Jack filled him on what to expect at the afternoon meeting. Caden listened, but his mind wandered to Liam’s reaction to his leaving. And there was Savannah. He’d seen the disappointment in her eyes. He was trying his best to be a good father and husband.
He’d thought he was doing a pretty good job lately, but the linchpin of control he’d created after Savannah’s departure in New York had begun to come undone. He thought of Savannah every hour on the hour, as if she were some sort of alarm. He wanted her with a desperation that bordered on insanity. Sometimes, he’d strip her bare and spend the rest of the night proving she was only a convenient wife. But he knew better. Savannah was so much more, which made him feel less and less secure of the internal compass he’d always relied on. Had she finally penetrated through the barrier he had in place?
When Caden returned home later that evening, Savannah made sure to feign sleep. She was in no mood to rehash the events of the afternoon. After Caden left, Liam had been inconsolable and not even the baseball game could rouse him out of his sad state. Well before the game ended, Savannah had taken him home. No reason to continue the farce of family day.
As soon as they had arrived home, Liam had immediately gone to his room without saying another word and slammed the door. He was disappointed in his father, and Savannah couldn’t much blame him. Caden bailed on them on one of the activities that meant the most to Liam. It was almost as if he’d desecrated Liam’s favorite sport.
So no, I’m not in a mood to talk to him, much less accept an apology.
So she stayed with her back turned to the window as Caden came in, showered, and eventually slid into bed. She sensed when he got in because she could feel him looking at her, watching and waiting for an outburst, she was sure, but she wasn’t going to give him the benefit of one. She was going to break a cardinal rule and go to bed angry because she had righteousness on her side.
The next morning, Savannah awoke in a fitful state. She hadn’t slept much and when she glanced over, the bed was empty. She touched the sheets and found them cool to the touch. Did he really leave without clearing the air?
Anger rushed through her veins, and she hopped out of bed. Snatching her robe from the ottoman, she slammed her arms into the sleeves, tied the robe around her middle, slid on her slippers, and headed for the kitchen.
That’s where she found Caden, barechested, wearing pajama bottoms and holding a cup of coffee.
She swept past him to the coffee pot and, after pulling out a mug from the cupboard, poured herself a cup. She didn’t need milk and sugar today. She drank it black because that was her mood.
After several sips, she glanced up to find Caden’s midnight eyes on her. “Are we going to talk now?” he asked. “Or are you going to ignore me like you did last night?”
Savannah began to open her mouth, but Caden held up his finger to her lips.
“Don’t lie, Savannah. We’ve slept in bed together many times. I know when you’re sleeping and when you’re faking it.”
“Fine!” she huffed, slamming the mug down on the island in front of them, splashing coffee on the counter. “I was in no mood to talk to you.” She moved away because she couldn’t stand standing so close to Caden without touching him.
“Don’t walk away from me, Savannah.” Caden followed her around the island, but she kept moving until they were standing opposite each other.
“We’ve had this argument before, Caden. It’s the same ol’ song. And I get it, okay? Your campaign is important, but when are you going to put your son and me first? You knew how important baseball was to Liam, and instead you ruined it. You took him to the mountaintop, showed him how great it could be, and then unceremoniously dropped him.”
Her words must have sunk in because the hurt
on Caden’s face caused Savannah to wonder if she’d gone too far.
“You’re right, Savannah. Clearly, I was trying to do too much, be too much to both you and Liam. Since I’m failing on both fronts, I might as well go to the office, where I actually see success.”
Savannah watched in shock as Caden walked out of the kitchen, leaving her alone with her regrets.
Chapter 23
The next couple of weeks were a blur for Savannah. She went through the emotions of her life. Go to work, which she hadn’t let go of. Take care of Liam. Make dinner. But inside, regret and sadness filled her because for a fleeting moment, she and Caden had found a rhythm in their marriage. Now, it was gone again.
Oh, she wasn’t foolish enough to think Caden was in love with her, but she’d thought they’d accepted who the other was and they’d come to a sort of peace. Now, she felt as if they were back at square one. She’d pushed him too far, and he’d retreated back into his shell, using work and the campaign as a shield.
He wouldn’t be able to do that this weekend. Savannah had arranged a dinner party for several high-profile guests. She had run this past Jack, and after he’d approved, they were off to the races. She’d been so looking forward to the event to put into action all of Camilla’s advice and to show Caden she’d learned how to be the best political wife.
Instead of feeling proud of her progress though, her stomach was turned into knots and she was sick with worry. Would everyone notice Caden’s cool demeanor toward her? He certainly hadn’t made any effort to bridge the gap between them in the last few weeks. If anything, he’d worked longer hours, and on the days he’d promised were family time, he made it home in time for dinner, then afterward, would shut her out and focus his attention on regaining Liam’s favor. Liam was slowly starting to talk to Caden after the disaster at the Baltimore Orioles game.
Now, Caden was wrapping up his day at campaign headquarters while Savannah worked with the caterers to get the house in order. Camilla suggested Savannah have the party here at their home because she would feel more comfortable in a familiar setting hobnobbing with Baltimore’s wealthy.
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