by Casey, L. A.
Wide-eyed, I looked from Anna to the guys and found that they were all smiling down at her. She was taller than me by a good five inches, but she was still shorter than all of the guys. Risk was the tallest at six four, next came May at around six two and Hayes and Angel were easily six foot. Anna beamed their way.
“Oh my god! I love you so much,” she said in a matter-of-fact voice to May. “Like, so much. I’m the biggest Sinner!”
May smiled, but it wasn’t a smile he gave me or his friends, this was his ladykiller smile and I’d be damned if it didn’t make me stare a little longer than what was deemed polite. I jumped when fingers stuck into my waist. I turned to a stone-faced Risk, who was towering over me like the giant he was. I was so focused on May that I didn’t even notice him move behind me.
“Hello.” I bit my cheek to keep from smiling. “How’s the weather up there, lanky?”
Risk’s tempting pale pink lips twitched.
“Do I have to worry about May becoming your favourite month?”
“With a smile like his?” I wiggled my eyebrows. “Hell, maybe.”
Risk moved so fast that I had no time to react when he backed me up against the nearest booth. I burst into a fit of giggles when he pressed his fingers into my waist until I was twisting and pleading through my laughter for him to show me mercy. I was the kind of person who was a danger to everyone around them when I was being tickled and Risk knew it. When he stopped, he was grinning down at me. I lightly thumped his stomach, making him snort.
I looked from Risk to the others, the guys were grinning at us and Anna was still looking at May like he was a mythical creature that she wanted to lick. He glanced back at her, saw he was still her focus and he switched his smile back to the one he reserved for women who wanted him. He lowered his head down and bumped his nose against hers. Her eyes momentarily widened and she bobbed her head like there was no tomorrow to something he said. Like the snap of my fingers, she hurried over to Deena and hurriedly said something to her. Risk tossed the car keys to May who caught them with one hand.
Bewildered as to what was happening, I watched as May, and Anna, left the diner.
“Where is he going?” I wondered out loud. “I thought he was hungry.”
“He is,” Risk answered. “His food preference has just changed though.”
I looked up at him. “He’s going to eat somewhere else?”
“Yeah,” he laughed. “Something like that.”
My eyebrows furrowed and then just like that, I realised what was happening.
“Oh.” I said. “Oh. Oh. He’s disgusting.”
I felt my face burn, but it was more because I was embarrassed of being so naive as to what May and Anna were going out to the car to do. I held no judgements, I had had two one-night stands before too . . . but Jesus. I at least had a few hours of conversation with the men before we got physical. May was Anna’s favourite Blood Oath member though; she had gushed over him enough throughout the years so hell, good for her.
“I’ll go and get an order pad and be right back.”
I walked away before Risk could say a word. I saw Deena walk towards the booth the guys were settling into, likely coming to take our order, but I hurried over to her just so I had a second for my face to return to its normal colour.
“Can you believe Anna?” She shook her head. “That girl is gonna catch something one of these days, either an STD or a baby.”
Probably, but it was her business so I kept mute.
“I’ll take my booth’s order, you relax for a few minutes.”
“Thanks,” Deena rolled her head onto her shoulders. “I’ve been holding my wee in for the last ten minutes.”
When she went to the bathroom, I grabbed an order pad and pen from the cup holder by the till then returned to the booth I would share with the guys. A glance at the mirror on the wall above the booth showed my face was only slightly flushed.
“Okay, what d’you guys want to eat?”
Thankfully, the guys didn’t tease me, they ordered what they wanted to eat instead. When it came to Risk ordering his drink, I raised a brow and said, “Cherry Coke?”
“Strawberry milkshake,” he grinned. “With two straws.”
I stared at him as he reminded me of our first date when I told him we should share a strawberry milkshake or romance was basically dead for me. I couldn’t help but smile as I scribbled the words. When I had everyone’s order jotted down, including my own, I glanced out of the window to the darkened car park.
“Maybe one of you should order for May for when he’s . . . finished.”
“He’ll be a while.” Risk kept his eyes on me. “He always is.”
“Yeah,” Angel chuckled. “He’ll order something to go, he’ll have a bigger appetite.”
I felt like I had suddenly swallowed a rock because I could not have this conversation. I was such a chicken shit when it came to talking about sex. I was twenty-seven years old, but I felt like a little thirteen-year-old whenever someone mentioned it to me. I wasn’t a prude, I just was so easily embarrassed by the topic.
“I’ll go and give Joe the order.”
I heard the guys laugh at me as I walked away and I had to talk myself out of running out the diner during the entire walk away from the booth. Instead of just hanging the order up, I entered the kitchen. Joe looked up, then down, then back up when he realised it was me and not Anna or Deena.
“Frank,” he blinked. “What’re you doing here?”
“I’m with Blood Oath,” I jabbed my thumb over my shoulder. “We’re here for dinner.”
I hung our order up then glanced around the kitchen. Joe was a perfectionist. He cleaned as he worked so his station was always tidy. I knew I had nothing to do and that I was just stalling so I didn’t have to go back out front but I shook my head, mentally pulled up my big-girl knickers and returned to the floor. When I reached the booth, I slid in next to Risk, but he didn’t move over by much even though he had the room.
Our thighs were plastered together and I was very aware of it.
“So,” I cleared my throat. “What’s it like being famous?”
The three superstars snickered at me.
“It has its pros and its cons,” Hayes answered. “We do what we love on a global stage, we’re successful, we earn great money and we get to perform to Sinners everywhere and see the world at the same time.”
“I feel a big but coming on.”
“But,” Hayes grinned. “We no longer have privacy with the level of fame we’ve reached. Everything we do in public is documented. We can’t fuck up because if we do, it makes headlines. We have to watch our Ps and our Qs. People, if we’re not careful about who we keep in our circle, use us for money, fame or exposure for their own career.”
I frowned. “I don’t like the cons.”
“Neither do we,” Angel winked. “But the pros outweigh the cons so we cope.”
I glanced at Risk. “Do you cope?”
“Now I do,” he answered. “These guys are my brothers, if I didn’t have a good bond with them, I don’t know if I would have been able to climb out of the hole I dug myself into.”
I didn’t want to bring up any bad memories for him so I nodded. I was as still as a statue when Risk lifted his left arm and draped it over the back of the booth. I could feel the material of his jumper brush against me. I found myself imagining him lowering his arm so it rested around my neck and shoulder. I would snuggle into him and stay there forever. I cleared my throat and mentally shook those thoughts away. We kissed, and I knew Risk wanted to continue to kiss me when he wanted, but I was certain that was more to do with the sexual tension between us more than him just wanting to hold me.
We both knew nothing could happen between us, nothing long-term anyway. Nothing had changed in our situation: my life was in Southwold and Risk’s wasn’t. It was rubbish, but that was just the way it was. I hated it, but I accepted it a long time ago. I was sure he had too.
�
�Frankie baby!”
I jumped as a voice hollered across the diner, when I turned and saw the owner of said voice, I groaned.
“Jesus, not now.”
Before Risk, Hayes or Angel could ask what was wrong, I got up and walked over to the entrance. Sky Ekeles, a sixteen-year-old local, and frequent customer of Mary Well’s, sent a beaming smile my way as I approached him. Sky, dumbly, liked me and he made it his business to stop by as often as he could to hang out with me while I was on shift. I hadn’t seen him in a few days so I knew he’d want a cuddle.
“I’m not working right now, little boy.” I came to a stop in front of the kid. “I’m with friends so you can’t be here unless you’re ordering and eating.”
“I know, I just stopped in to see if you were here and since you are,” he smirked, “I’ll have my usual.”
The audacity of him made me laugh.
“Sky—”
“One hug, you know that’s all I want.”
I sighed, long and deep. Sky smiled in response. He was so bloody cute and he knew it.
“One hug then you’ll stop bothering me and go home?”
“Promise, this is a flying visit.”
I grunted as I leaned forward and gave the little terror a hug. I called him little but he wasn’t, he was five ten or eleven which meant I had to get on my tiptoes to give him a good squeeze. His hands instantly when to my lower back but he knew better than to let them slip any lower. I wasn’t opposed to knocking some sense, and manners, into him and he knew it.
“Now.” I grinned when we separated. “Get on home.”
Sky winked as he jokingly brushed his knuckles over my jaw then turned and walked out of the diner. I shook my head as I watched the kid go. When I turned, my eyes automatically moved to Risk’s and I wasn’t surprised to find him watching me. His gaze was so intense, I found I couldn’t keep eye contact. I was glad that Joe called my booth’s order. Deena was back on the floor and she helped me bring over the plates of food. When everyone had their food, I slid back beside Risk and instantly picked up my burger and took a big bite out of it. No one said a word until I swallowed my food.
“Who’s the kid?”
“Sky?” I answered Angel. “He’s just a lad who pops in every so often, he thinks he fancies me.”
“You don’t think he likes you?” Hayes quizzed as he popped a chip into his mouth. “He seemed to be liking you just fine with his hands that low on your back.”
I laughed it off.
“He’s just a little boy,” I said. “No harm, no foul.”
We chatted about mundane things for the rest of our meal, which took us more than an hour to eat because we’d stop and laugh at something someone said. We spoke about the guys’ upcoming Wembley shows, the new album and world tour they just announced and we spoke about their interview that they had done earlier in the day in London.
Everyone was too full for any dessert, but when May strolled into the diner with Anna ahead of him, I tried not to make it obvious that I knew exactly what they had been doing. Deena said something as Anna passed her by which caused Anna’s face to glow bright red. May came up to our booth and both Angel and Hayes slotted to the right when Risk made no attempt to move so May could sit next to me.
“I’m starving.”
I wasn’t sure why, but those words being the first ones he spoke after having a quickie – if an hour and ten minutes was considered quick – didn’t surprise me in the slightest.
“I’ll go and get an order pad—”
“Annie’s got it covered.”
“Anna.” I corrected. “Her name is Anna.”
“Is it?” he blinked. “Shit, I called her Annie the whole time.”
The men laughed, I didn’t because I thought it wasn’t a very nice thing to do. Risk seemed to pick up on this because he changed the subject. It was winding down to closing time and I was exhausted. Normally, when I wasn’t working until closing, I came home from visiting Mum around nine and then I went right to bed. It was going on quarter to eleven and I was ready to fall asleep sitting up.
Anna brought May his food in a bag. He stood up to thank her with a full-on kiss right in the middle of the diner. I didn’t know where to look so I settled on looking at my empty plate. I jumped when I felt a hot breath next to my ear.
“You’re so fucking cute,” Risk said. “I hope you know that.”
He thought I was cute? I felt terribly embarrassed, not bloody cute.
I said goodbye to Anna, Deena and Joe and left the diner with the guys. I screamed with fright when a flash went off to my right. It was so bright that it startled me. I tripped over my own two feet and fell back, but arms caught me. There were half a dozen people suddenly around us, cameras flashing and voices talking loudly over one another. I could barely see. I didn’t know what was going on. I was scared.
“Risk, how’s Nora?” a male voice hollered. “Does she know you’re on a date with another woman?”
“Who’s your lady friend, May?” a woman shouted. “We saw you had some car-rocking fun a while ago.”
“Fuck’s sake,” I heard May grumble as we all walked forward. “Can you move? We’re trying to leave?”
I latched onto the arm that hooked around my waist.
“Back the fuck up, bitch!” Risk snapped at a woman who was shoving her camera in my face. “Get the fuck away from her!”
I suddenly found myself in the middle of the guys as we moved forward as one, and it made me feel less panicky because I knew that they were protecting me. Soon, we were inside the car and my grip on Risk was vice-like because I couldn’t breathe. My wheezing was loud in the car. I was in the middle of an attack and I didn’t even know it.
“Fuck! Hold on, baby. I’ll make it better . . . Here, open.”
It was Risk who spoke, my vision had blurred so I couldn’t see his movements. I could only focus on trying to draw in a breath. I felt his hand on the back of my head then he forcefully pushed the head of an inhaler into my mouth. The second he pressed on it, I sucked down the medicine with eagerness. The familiar taste of it, as always, brought me great relief. Even before it began to work on my lungs, knowing I had my medicine allowed my brain to begin to calm down so I could get control of the attack. It felt like it took longer for me to be able to draw in a deep breath than usual, but eventually the pain faded and all that remained was the fear of what could have happened.
I was shaking like a leaf.
“I’m sorry,” Risk held me to him, moved his hand to my lower back and began patting. “I’m so sorry, Frank.”
He remembered . . . he remembered that patting my lower back comforted and calmed me. I couldn’t believe that he remembered.
I hugged him as I continued to breathe in and out. That was all that mattered. Big breath in and another one out. Over and over. We remained that way for a few minutes. I realised when I straightened in my seat that Hayes was driving the car. Angel was in the front seat, but he was turned around so he could see me. He looked worried as he stared at me with dark, unblinking eyes. I was between Risk and May, they were in the middle of working together to put my seat belt around me and click it in place.
“Are you okay, Frankie?”
“I’m okay,” I answered May. “I’m sorry.”
“You have asthma.” Risk clicked his tongue. “Having an attack is not your fault . . . tonight it was mine. Those motherfuckers wouldn’t have crowded you if you weren’t with me.”
“Bollocks,” May spit. “Don’t put the fault of those arseholes on your shoulders, they’re vultures. What they do is on them, not you.”
May was absolutely right. I leaned into Risk, finding immense comfort in his arms when they came around me.
“They’re not following us . . . yet.”
“Just drop me and Frankie off at her cottage,” Risk replied to Hayes. “I’ll walk back to May’s in a bit. They’ll just hang around her house if they spot the car there.”
“How w
ould they know it’s yours? Two of my neighbours have the same model, the colour is just a little different.”
“They likely made a note of the number plate,” Risk explained. “They normally do that so they can tell if they’re following the right car.”
That shocked me.
“That’s insane,” I spluttered. “Like stalking.”
“We know.” Risk frowned. “We call them vultures for a reason.”
I tried to think of what all of this suddenly meant for my quiet, predictable life.
“Will my face be all over the internet soon?”
Risk was hesitant in replying, but eventually he said, “Probably.”
“Oh.”
“Look, so the stories don’t run wild,” he continued. “May will post that picture of you and him to his Instagram. He’ll put something in the caption about you being like a sister to him. People will still speculate, but once it’s clear that you aren’t a romantic interest, the frenzy will pass after a day or two. It always does.”
I was in disbelief.
“I had no idea you couldn’t be seen with a woman without this kind of hassle.”
“Where have you been?” May lightly teased. “It’s been this way for years.”
I didn’t let him know that I purposely didn’t keep up with information regarding the band. Not long later, Hayes dropped me and Risk off outside my home. We hurried inside in case we were followed. I didn’t feel safe until the door was shut behind us. I went straight into my kitchen and flipped on the light.
“Oath,” I called. “I’m home, baby boy.”
Risk laughed when Oath came strolling out of my bedroom, looking like he had just woken up from a long nap. I picked him up when he brushed against the back of my legs. I knew Risk was by the doorway watching me, but I said nothing. That whole situation was surreal. I thought I knew what celebrities went through with the paparazzi but my experience with it first-hand told me how little of a clue I really had.