by Max Cossack
“I was thinking more along the lines of a novel,” Gloria said. “I’ve never written one.”
“And sell it to Hollywood?” Mattie asked.
“Hollywood will never go for it,” Hack said. “No superheroes.”
“Unless you count us,” Gus said.
Hack said, “At most it’s a made-for-television.”
“Do we get a share?” Gus asked Gloria.
“I think it could make a mini-series at least,” Mattie said. Then, to Gloria. “Have you thought about a title?”
“How about GusLight?” Gus said.
Hack looked at him. “You want us to name our film after yourself?”
“Think about it,” Gus said. “Like that old movie Gaslight. It’s a play on words. That movie where one person creates this false reality to mess up another person’s mind.”
Hack said, “Nobody will know what GusLight means. If we’re going to hit it big, we need a title that gives people some idea what the movie is about.”
Gus said. “Anyway, you’re too late, Gloria. I already wrote up the whole thing.”
“You wrote a novel?” Hack said.
“Better than that,” Gus said. “I summed up the whole experience in a five-line poem. Want to hear it?”
“Do we have to?” Hack asked.
Gloria said, “I’m sincerely desperate to hear your poem, Gus.”
“Okay. Here goes.” Gus stood. He cleared his throat several times. Then:
“There once was a man in a frenzy
To mold the young cadre of Gen Z;
But he went astray
And he had to pay
When he pissed off Ms. Fiorenzi.”
A long silence from everyone. Then Hack said, “That’s awful. It doesn’t even make sense.”
Mattie said, “It does too make sense. I get it. Good job, Gus.”
“Sure, side with the other man,” Hack said.
She said. “He’s the man who gets me all my acting roles. What have you done for me lately?”
Hack kissed her.
Gus sat down on the ground. He said to Hack, “Partner, if you can write songs, why can’t I write a poem?”
“That’s no poem,” Hack said. “It’s not even good doggerel.”
“What’s dogs got to do with poetry?” Gus asked his friend with a look of studied innocence. “Anyway, I like to think of myself more in the way of a fox.”
“Or a coyote,” Hack said.
“They’re tricksters too,” Gus said.
Gloria said, “Even though Gus’s laudable first attempt at versification is a very concise summary of our entire escapade, I’d still like to try my hand at the novel. I’ve never written one before. With everyone’s permission.”
She looked her question to each friend, one at a time, and each in turn nodded nonchalant assent.
LG came poking down the long gravel driveway into the yard. He was carrying a sheaf of mail. He grabbed a Chumpster of his own out of the cooler and sat on the ground with the others.
“Anything in there besides the usual crap?” Gus asked his son.
“A letter from the College,” LG said. He ripped open a 5-inch-by-10-inch envelope. He pulled a letter out and unfolded it and read.
Hack asked, “What’s the news?”
LG said, “Mr. Offenbach changed my grade for ‘Diversity and Inclusion’. I got an ‘A’.”
Mattie said, “So now you can get early admission to the U?”
“Looks like,” LG said. “Kind of weird, though.”
“Why’s that?” Hack said.
“Offenbach’s the one who flunked me in the first place.”
Gus said, “So Pafko said. But he was lying about that too.”
LG eyed his dad. “You went to see Pafko?”
Gus nodded.
LG said, “I told you to stay out of my business.”
Gus said, “I mostly do. Anyway, we know Pafko’s got nothing to do with changing your grade, since it’s been months since anyone’s heard from him.”
“I’ll buy that,” LG said, “But why do you suppose Mr. Offenbach changed it?”
His father said, “Who knows with a young dude like that? Maybe he had a change of heart.”
“But why?”
“Maybe he came to his senses,” Gus said. “Maybe something big happened in his life, an event personally more important to him than shafting some punk adolescent like you. Maybe a rich uncle died and left him a boxcar full of money, or he won the lottery. Or he found God.”
Gloria said, “Maybe he fell in love.” She blew a heart-shaped smoke ring towards the jack pines.
For a few moments, everyone watched the smoke disperse and its remnant swirl and fade into the cool spring air.
LG said, “Love? Do you buy that, Dad?”
Gus said, “Stranger things have happened.”
“Not many,” Hack said. Mattie kissed him and they grabbed each other and fell sideways onto the ground and began rolling around on top of each other and giggling.
Gloria blew out an F-shaped smoke ring. All her new friends were fun. And her novel would be fun too, if she could write it right.
She excused herself for the play on words.
Author's Afterword
I hope the fact you have gotten this far in this book means that you have enjoyed it.
If so, please feel free to take the time to visit the Amazon.Com web page for Simple Grifts and write a review. Please be constructive and honest. Your review can make a difference for the book and for its author.
Also, this book is the third in the series beginning with Khaybar, Minnesota, then proceeding to Zarah’s Fire, both also available on Amazon. Please check those out as well.
In any case, thanks very much for purchasing and reading Simple Grifts.
- The Author