My body tensed, and now that he was standing right in front of me, I could smell the alcohol coming from his mouth.
“No.”
His hand came up to cup my cheek and I couldn’t help but lean into it, closing my eyes for a second.
“I need you to stay close to me tonight. I need to hold you,” he whispered, his voice deeper than ever.
I shook my head. “You don’t mean that.”
“Yes, I do.”
I looked up at him and I had a hard time knowing if he was lying or telling the truth.
He figured it out that I was battling my thoughts because a small smile appeared on his lips. “Drunken words are sober thoughts, sweetheart.”
Chapter Thirteen
Harlow
I slowly shook my head, never letting my eyes leave his. He was looking into my soul. At least, that’s what it felt like. Why did he have to make it so hard on me? Even when he was drunk, he knew exactly what to do or say to make me feel this way.
I had mixed feelings. I wanted to believe him so bad. I wanted to believe that he meant all he said about wanting me close and needing me. But I also knew that deep down he was still the same Hunter. Not long ago, he shouted at me and hurt me physically. In fact my scalp was still a bit sore from his harsh grip.
My breathing was calm, but inside I was boiling. His hand on my cheek was holding my head in place so I couldn’t move to look away.
“When you wake up next to me tomorrow… when you’re sober,” I said, swallowing and collecting all my courage. “You’ll hate yourself for saying all of these things. Or wanting me close.”
I felt my eyes water and I wasn’t sure why my body felt the need to cry. It was too much.
“You don’t know me,” he said, letting his eyes wander over my face.
“Yes, I do, Hunter.” A sob escaped me and the first tear made its way down my cheek. “I know you enough to know you will treat me like shit once you think straight again. You’ve done it more than once. And you being drunk just…” I sighed and shook my head.
His thumb caressed my cheek. “Don’t cry, sweetheart.”
That, for some reason, made me laugh. He couldn’t be fucking serious, right?
“How do you expect me not to cry when you fuck with my head like that? I’m tired, Hunter!” I tried to push him away from me, but he pressed into me and now put both of his hands on my head.
“I’m not doing it on purpose.” Despite his careless handling of my body, his voice was soft and almost pleading.
“Believe me, sweetheart. I don’t mean to hurt you.” His eyes were begging. Not sure what for, but he was definitely hoping I would just drop this subject and move on. But how in the world could I just let it all go? He treated me like shit. He was rude to me every time he opened his mouth and his ruthless behavior was messing me up. He might not even realize that but I knew fighting him was senseless.
“That’s hard to believe.” I stayed calm, surprisingly. I knew he was trouble.
He shook his head and stared back into my eyes. “Let me show you. Let me show you when I’m sober. I swear I can be different.”
I found it all amusing. The moment he opened his eyes in the morning, he would realize where he was, get up, and run off again. Probably throwing some stupid fit before leaving. I wasn’t up for that.
“You’re drunk.” I wanted him to understand that. Even if I had to repeat those words over and over again to get it into his brain, I said them hoping that he would finally give in and let loose so I could go to bed.
“Accept my apology then.” And we’re back to that. I rolled my eyes, trying to push him off. But I didn’t even have to try because his body stood still and didn’t move one bit from my attempts to shove him away.
“You never said sorry, Hunter. I think you don’t really get the concept of an apology.”
Now he grinned. How dare he? God!
“I do. Now you just have to forgive me and everything will be okay again.” His tongue touched his bottom lip and his eyes left mine to look at my lips. “Come on, Low. Say it. Say you will forgive me for what I did and said to you.”
Oh, so he knew what he did to hurt me. That’s one step forward. But this was Hunter I had in front of me.
“I know you like it when I kiss you. And when I touch you,” he whispered.
“Hunter…” I was begging now. How was I supposed to take him seriously when he seduced me with his damn words like that?
His mouth came down, close to mine. I felt my heartbeat speed up and my breath got uneven. “I know you like it. But…I think I have to prove it to you that I’m right, hm?” He was whispering now. How in the world did I get into this situation? I was going strong just a few minutes ago, but every inch he got closer, the more difficult it got for me to think clearly.
I shook my head, but I doubt that it moved even one bit. “Don’t,” I said, but his lips touched mine and I couldn’t stop myself from gripping his sweatshirt tightly with both hands.
Something about his way of getting me to do anything was making me nervous, but also I felt lightheaded all at once. There was something about him I couldn’t resist. And I hated myself for that because I knew I would be the one the next morning to feel like shit. Not him.
“I’m sorry,” he said into the kiss and put his arms around me. Not sure why, but him saying sorry made me smile. Yet, I wasn’t sure he meant it. But for now…it was okay.
His lips parted, letting his tongue dart out and meet mine. His hands were all over my back and once or twice they moved over my ass, gripping it tightly and making me moan. I felt his hardness on my belly, knowing that he was probably already fantasizing too much about what could happen. I couldn’t let him get it just like that.
Not when he was drunk.
And not when I was mad at him.
Chapter Fourteen
Harlow
I knew it wasn’t right. Letting him get this close when he was drunk was probably the most stupid thing I could’ve let happen. In the end, Hunter was still, well…Hunter.
Something about his arms around my waist and his lips moving against mine fought back all the thoughts in my mind, burning with the hope that I would stop him from getting any closer. But I wasn’t strong enough to fight back. To push him off me and tell him no.
No wasn’t a word he took well. I think that had been made clear multiple times in the last few days. And to be honest, I wasn’t going to test that theory out again.
Making out wasn’t something I did often. In fact only two other guys have even been this intimate with me in my life. Ben, an exchange student from Europe who was dared to kiss me at a bonfire party, and Will, one of the football players from school. He actually took me on a date but I soon found out he just wanted to get me to have sex with him. That’s not really an experience I want to remember.
I pushed the thoughts of those guys aside and concentrated on Hunter. His hands finally settled on my ass, gripping it tightly to keep me from going anywhere. I wasn’t, anyway. I liked being held in his arms, his warm body pressing against mine.
My arms made their way up, wrapping around his neck with one hand going through his thick hair. I took a fistful and pulled ever so slightly.
A moan escaped his mouth and I could feel his lips curl up into a small smile. He liked that. Good to know.
Suddenly, he lifted me onto the counter, standing between my legs and pushing himself against me.
My body was on fire and now I realized that every part of my body was sensitive. Mostly the part between my legs, where his length was pressing against me. Even through his jeans and my pajama pants, I could feel his erection.
A groan escaped my mouth in protest the moment he tore his mouth away from mine. I didn’t want him to stop, but leaving a trail of kisses down my neck made up for it again. His tongue came out, tasting my skin as he ran his hands down my sides and back up.
My breasts started to ache. Each time his hands slid up my sides, almo
st touching my breasts, I stopped breathing.
I could easily suffer from heart failure by him flicking his tongue out and running it over parts of my neck and my collarbone.
I knew he was experienced. He probably had it easy with the girls in this town. I knew they fell at his feet the moment he looked at them.
His lips made their way back up to my mouth and I made a pleasing sound he chuckled. God, everything he did made me crazy.
“Sweetheart,” he said hoarsely, whispering into the kiss. He was being tender and gentle now and I started to feel like I could trust him. It was strange. My mind was still screaming at me to make him stop and run away, but my heart wanted to stay. It wanted to stay so badly.
Even if he was being gentle now, I tried to form words to tell him to slow down a bit. I needed a minute. But instead, I just pressed into him harder. My body was doing everything my mind didn’t want me to do. So much for self-control.
His hand slid back up my side and this time his fingers brushed over the side of my boob, his thumb touching my nipple, which was hard to the touch under the soft fabric of my shirt.
“What do you want, Harlow?” he asked as he kissed the corner of my mouth and then letting his lips brush over the soft spot just underneath my ear. He pulled my earlobe into his mouth, sucking on it and causing me to tremble.
He gave me the chance to tell him to stop. To push him off and go back to bed. Alone. I had the chance to take this moment to remember that this was a bad idea. Letting him this close was already stupid. But I didn’t.
I needed his lips to stop teasing me. I couldn’t think straight.
“Tell me, sweetheart. What do you want?”
“Touch me,” I whispered, my voice shaking. His hand moved, and the warmth of it was gone, causing me to cry out in frustration. Then I felt him lifting my shirt and I stopped breathing.
The moment my shirt was on the floor, I looked at him, wondering if he liked what he was seeing. I was naked on top. My breasts were right there in front of his face.
“Jesus,” he muttered. His hands lifted, cupping each of my breasts. I let out a strangled sound as his eyes swung up to meet mine.
“You’re beautiful.” He actually looked fascinated.
I smiled, letting my eyes wander off to the living room so I didn’t have to return his stare. “You’re drunk,” I reminded him.
“I mean it. You’re beautiful. Your eyes. Your face. Your smile. Your tits.” That made me laugh. The choice of his words never failed to make me wonder how he could be so damn blunt without getting smacked across the face. I looked back at him.
He lowered his head, his eyes locked on mine as he pressed a kiss to the top of each breast. Then his hands finally moved, squeezing, and his thumbs pressed against my nipples. I let out a moan to let him know I was enjoying this. Well, my body was. But my mind was still shouting at me for letting him do all that. I decided to ignore my thoughts. Let my body control me for once.
“Fuck, Low,” he said right before squeezing my breasts tighter this time. He pinched each of my nipples, tugging on them. My body was shaking just from him touching my breasts the way only he could and I knew at that moment that I wanted more.
More of his touch.
More of his kisses.
More of Hunter.
Chapter Fifteen
Harlow
Hunter’s eyes stayed on mine the whole time. Wet heat pulled my nipple in and I couldn’t help but cry out. His lips were wrapped around my nipple, sucking and licking, while he made sure the other breast got just as much attention.
Grabbing handfuls of Hunter’s hair, I couldn’t stop myself from pulling at it and keeping him close. I didn’t want him to stop. The way he made me feel was incredible and I wasn’t sure I wanted to live without it from now on.
“Hunter,” I whispered, trying to form a sentence in my mind that made sense. He didn’t listen to me calling his name, instead, he lifted his head again, leaving one hand on my breast and putting the other on my neck, tilting my head back and kissing me softly.
I could still taste the alcohol on his tongue and that was the one thing that suddenly bothered me.
“Hunter.” This time he said something against my lips that I didn’t quite catch. “We should stop this,” I said, finally breaking the kiss. His hands stayed in place, and his eyes were searching my face for answers.
“You don’t like it,” he said. Not sure if it was a question or not, but it made me smile. How in the world could he think that?
“No, I liked it. But you’re drunk. And I’m not sure how you will remember this night when you wake up in the morning.” I was a little bit breathless and I was now rethinking my choice of stopping our hot make-out session and his tongue skills.
God, he was messing with my head again.
“I’m not drunk.” He puckered his lips and looked down at my breasts, thinking about something. “Maybe I am. But I know I won’t regret this in the morning.” He was playing with my nipple, pinching and twisting it between his finger and thumb.
“We should go to bed.” I wasn’t sure just how far we would’ve gone if I hadn’t broken it off. Did he want to have sex? Ha, what a stupid question. Of course he did.
Hunter didn’t answer. He was still busy with my nipple and I could tell he was battling his thoughts.
I put my hand on his, stopping it from teasing me. “I let you sleep in my bed.” I wasn’t sure if that was a good idea. But I didn’t like the idea of him sleeping on the couch all alone.
He was a grown man but I could tell something was off. Not the anger issues and the douchy behavior he showed me multiple times. But there was something he was missing in his life. It almost looked like he needed assurance. The second I told him he could sleep in my bed, his eyes lit up and I could see his body relax.
Even after all those things he did and said to me, I knew I had a chance to fix whatever was broken in him. I wasn’t selfish. The need to help him was suddenly burning inside of me and I knew I wouldn’t be happy with myself if I didn’t at least try to find out what was making him have those outbursts of anger and hatred.
Hunter didn’t hesitate after realizing what I wanted. Him in my bed with me. He quickly picked up the shirt next to his feet and helped me put it on. I smiled, because from what I’ve seen in movies or read in books, most of the guys kicked their date out right after sex. Well, we didn’t have sex, but it was a sweet gesture.
Taking his hand, he helped me down the counter and pulled me towards my room. I took a glance toward Jagger’s room. He still wasn’t home.
“Where is Jagger?” I asked, hoping he would tell me.
“Nowhere.” Great. Not what I was hoping for. “Don’t worry about him, sweetheart.”
I sighed, watching as he got into bed, pulling the covers up to his hips. I didn’t even realize that he wasn’t wearing shoes back in the kitchen. Drunk, but polite enough to take off his shoes at the front door? He was a mystery.
I grabbed my phone off the bedside table and typed a quick message to Jagger. He always said I shouldn’t call or text him when he was gone longer than expected. Tonight, I needed him to tell me he was okay.
I simply sent a thumbs-up emoji with a question mark. Not even ten seconds later a thumbs up from his side of the chat came up and I was relieved. I put the phone back down and crawled into bed next to Hunter.
“He’s fine,” he said, pulling me into his arms and wrapping them around me. This was new to me. Lying in bed with a guy, letting him hold me. It felt strange. And I wasn’t sure I should get used to it.
No clue how Hunter would be in the morning. His mood would change and he would be thinking clearer.
That scared me. Knowing he’d be the old Hunter when I wake up. There was no way he changed just like that.
My face was close to his and I looked up at him, smiling when I found him looking back at me. He was studying me and his right hand came up to cup my face. His thumb caressed my cheek and h
is breath slowly matched mine. Calm and easy.
No shouting.
No hurting.
No fighting.
“What are you thinking about?” he asked in a whisper, not taking his eyes off mine.
“Us.” I couldn’t lie to him.
His lips curled up into a small smile, then he leaned forward to touch his nose to mine. God, now he’s also being adorable?
“We’re a mess,” he said, closing his eyes and kissing the tip of my nose.
I just nodded. I knew we were. Not sure I was doing the right thing by letting him sleep here. But as I said before; he probably just needed someone to be there for him. Someone to fix him.
“A beautiful, magnificent mess.”
Chapter Sixteen
Harlow
His words were burning inside of my brain. I couldn’t stop looking at him while he slowly fell asleep, his face still close to mine and his arms tightly around me, holding me as if he needed some sort of security.
His hair was messy from me pulling on it before. His lips were slightly parted, but he was breathing through his nose. He looked relaxed. Calm and peaceful. The crease that would appear between his brows was gone and the look of annoyance and anger wasn’t to be seen either.
I liked him like this. All serene. And the things he said to me a few minutes ago were rushing through me, leaving a tingling sensation inside of me.
What happened to him? What made him feel like that? All the hate he was carrying inside of him wasn’t normal. Maybe he was mistreated at the orphanage. Or the families he was put into weren’t good people. Well, anything could’ve happened.
But I wouldn’t push him to tell me. I couldn’t. It was his decision and I wouldn’t want anyone to tell him about my past either. I’d have to give him time. He opened up to me a bit. Not by telling me about his childhood or anything like that, but he opened up and showed me a different side of him. A softer, sweeter side.
The Hastings Series Page 5