“Can you skip a week?”
“No. I have sponsors who expect to advertise weekly with me. And I got too excited and released a teaser episode for this, thinking I could convince Donovan to do it.” She turned to him, and he saw the panic flashing in her eyes. “I know it’s dumb, but I was counting on this show. I never leave things to the last minute like this. I don’t know why I did it this time. I’m not thinking clearly lately.”
“It’s a tough time of year for you,” Jack said. He placed his hand on the back of her neck and circled his thumb over one of the knots he could feel forming there.
She let her head drop, and he continued to work on the tense muscles at the base of her skull.
“You know what you need? A distraction.” He needed one, too. He tried to remain under a strict no-touching policy when it came to Holly, but lately, both of their walls seemed to be coming down, bit by bit. She sat closer to him on the couch than before, she bumped into him teasingly, and she had even started taking his arm sometimes when they were walking outside. He knew it was because it was slippery and she was afraid to fall, but he loved having her close to his side. His own walls had to remain completely upright, because he could guarantee Holly wasn’t feeling the things he was feeling.
“What kind of distraction?” she pressed when he didn’t continue.
“What would be a good theme for a party? Color scheme, too.”
“What kind of party? Are you throwing something for Shiloh?”
It hadn’t even crossed his mind to throw a party for Shiloh, for her birthday coming up in January. Well, he’d cross that bridge if he needed to. “No, for more of a … Christmas-esque party.”
She sat back and his hand dropped. “Christmas-esque? Or just Christmas?”
“You know … either.”
Her eyes narrowed. “You wouldn’t happen to be attempting to get me to help you plan the Christmas dinner fundraiser?”
“Just making conversation.”
She placed her hand on his chest, and he nearly lost his breath. “Jack Shay, you never just make conversation.”
It was true. He was a big fan of silence, particularly the awkward kind, for reasons he couldn’t quite articulate.
Suddenly, she tapped her finger to his chest, her eyes widening. He could see the thoughts whirling behind her eyes. “You’re handsome and available.”
He wondered if she could feel his heart racing beneath her finger, not entirely sure where she was going with this. “And?” He hadn’t felt this unsure about a situation since he’d been a first-year resident.
“I have an idea,” she continued.
Jack swallowed. “Okay.”
“Jack,” she laughed. “You look like you’ve swallowed an ice cube, and you haven’t even heard my idea yet.”
She reached forward to grab her computer, and he let out the breath he’d been holding. If he had it his way, he’d love for her to leave her hand against his chest forever, but that wasn’t what this was. He didn’t know what this was yet, but he could tell it wasn’t a confession of love at any rate.
He tried to get his head back to what they’d been talking about before she’d declared him handsome and available. “For the theme?”
“No, not for your Christmas-esque thing,” she said. “A real idea. A real fantastic, maybe terrible, but mostly incredible idea.”
He held his phone like a lifeline.
She held her shoulders back resolutely. “Jack, I will help you plan the fundraiser.”
Jack closed his eyes, the weight of responsibility over something he had no idea how to run almost falling off of him. But he wouldn’t do that to her. Not just to make his life easier. He’d pick her brain for a theme idea, but it would be too hard for her to step in and take over the fundraiser. “Holly, you don’t have to do that. I’ll be fine. I’d love some theme ideas, but I’ll figure it out.”
“Have you even sent out invitations yet?”
“I’m getting to it. I did a Save-the-Date email.”
“That you typed out on your phone. I’m going to help you. It’ll be hard—” She swallowed. “—but I can do hard things.”
“It would be amazing,” he had to admit. And yes, if there was anyone who could do hard things, it would be her.
“I mean, it’ll be out of my comfort zone, and not something I really want to do, but it’ll benefit myself and others in the long run and maybe even change a life or two, right?” She looked at him pointedly.
He felt his brows furrow. “Sure, I guess.”
“And it’s good to do that kind of thing, something that stretches you, now and then, right?”
“Yes,” he said even more slowly, feeling her invisible snare tightening around him.
“But there’s a catch.” She grinned and turned her whole body to face him, her knees pressing against his.
He nearly groaned. Maybe he needed to return the cashmere scarf he and Shiloh had bought her for Christmas and get her a larger couch, one with a buffer cushion in the middle, so his heart didn’t have to do racing somersaults every time he came over. A larger couch might save his sanity.
“I need you to go on One Great Love Story.”
His heart thumped past a beat. “And talk about me and Rebecca?”
“No,” she said. “Do the thing Megan’s brother was going to do. Allow me to play matchmaker. Be open to getting set up on a date and maybe finding love.”
If she had any idea how her words nearly flayed him open, she didn’t indicate it. But how could she know? He kept his face stone still, completely unflappable.
“It will save both of us,” she pleaded when he continued to stay silent. “I’ll make you look so good, you’ll have hundreds of women to choose from.”
“I don’t want hundreds of women to choose from.” He scrubbed a hand over his face.
“I’ll go through all of the emails, so you won’t have to.” She clasped her hands tightly in front of her. “I know you’ve got a lot on your plate right now with work and Shiloh, but I’ll be planning the fundraiser, so you won’t have that, and I’ll only pick the best of the best. Who better to find your one true love than me?”
Who better, indeed?
He shook his head, but she lunged forward and took his free hand before he could verbalize his refusal. “Please, Jack. Don’t say no.”
He stared into her light blue, pleading eyes, and knew that once again, it would be completely impossible to say no to her. Despite his better judgment. Despite the torture he was agreeing to undergo.
He didn’t want anyone else but Holly. But Holly didn’t want him.
“Just don’t call the episode ‘Doctor Love,’” he said grimly.
Her eyes lit up with excitement, and she threw her arms around his neck. His hands automatically went to her waist to hold her. “Thank you,” she said against his ear, sending all the little hairs at the back of his neck at strict attention. “You are saving me right now. I promise to find the best girl for you.” She pulled back, her hands sliding to his shoulders, her face tantalizingly close, and gave him a teasing grin. “How do you like the title ‘Doctor Handsome’ instead?”
Desire flashed through him like a flaring fire. She must have caught something in his gaze, because she swallowed hard. The air between them tingled with electricity.
“Do you hear it?” she whispered.
“What?” His mouth went dry. Could she hear how much his heartbeat was pounding between them?
“The Christmas music. Listen.” Faint sounds of a piano arrangement of “Jingle Bells” flittered into the room. “I’ve always liked this song.”
They listened for a few more seconds, her hands still on his shoulders. She met his gaze. “You always smell so good,” she murmured.
He tried to think of something to say, but his mind was completely blank. The song ended and the spell broke. She pulled away from him, seemingly unfazed by their closeness while he tried to pull his spinning thoughts together into s
ome coherency. She already had her computer open and was typing away.
Of course she’s unfazed, Shay. She’s still in love with Dallon, and you’re an idiot.
An idiot in more ways than one, it seemed, because now he was going to go on MyHeartChannel and let the woman he loved set him up with someone else.
Chapter 10
“That smells amazing,” Holly called out to Jack, who was in her kitchen, making them lunch. It never ceased to amaze her how well he cooked.
After Dallon died, Holly had mostly stopped eating. She’d lost a lot of weight, and Jack started coming over nearly every day to make her dinner. Once she went back to work and got back on her feet, he didn’t come over nearly as often, and most of the time they ate together in the cafeteria, but she always loved the treat of having him cook for her.
“About five more minutes,” he called back, the low timbre of his voice wrapping around her like her comfortable chenille blanket. Her house felt more like a home whenever Jack was in it.
She finished up jotting down questions she wanted to talk to Jack about once she got him on camera. She couldn’t believe he’d actually said yes to doing this. She’d planned on doing what she could to convince him, but fully expected that he’d say no in the end. Jack Shay was saving her once again. It was becoming a habit of his to be there when she needed him most.
And a habit of hers to feel like she could do anything if he were near.
“It’s ready,” he said.
She closed her laptop and went into the kitchen, where he’d set the table with two omelets and a fresh fruit salad. His was egg white, of course, but hers was a beautifully buttery yellow hue. She took her first bite and closed her eyes in bliss.
“Why are you so good at everything?” She opened her eyes to find him watching her.
“Some people are naturally talented.”
“Yeah, well. Stop making the rest of us look bad.”
“Says the super successful cardiologist.”
She ignored the comment in favor of taking another bite of lunch. “Do you want to read the questions first?”
“Whatever works for you,” he said stiffly.
“It doesn’t change what I do either way. So it’s whatever works for you.”
“I don’t care.”
“Well, that’s apparent.” She wished for the words back the minute she said them. He was doing her a huge favor, one that she knew he wasn’t comfortable with. But he couldn’t be this terse on camera, or the whole show would be a flop.
He glanced at her, some sort of strange tension coming off of him that she didn’t quite understand. She’d said something rude to him, yes. But he said rude things to people all the time. He had thick skin. She couldn’t imagine her comment was causing this tautness between them.
And the longer he went without responding, the more awkward things became.
“Sorry,” she finally said.
“Don’t be,” he replied. He finished eating his food and took her plate as well, since she was done, and carried them both to the sink.
“Is it the camera?” she asked when his back was to her as he rinsed off their dishes.
“Is what the camera?”
“Why you’re acting so offish right now?”
“I said I’d do this, so let’s do it.”
“Jack, I don’t want to do this at the expense of our friendship. If you’re going to be upset with me about it—”
He turned toward her then, folding his arms. “I said I’d do it, so let’s do it.”
“Let’s go get started, then,” she said slowly. If she couldn’t get the scowl off his face at some point in the taping, the footage was going to be completely useless. But no one could make Jack Shay smile if Jack Shay didn’t want to smile.
She left him to the dishes and went to her bathroom to brush her teeth and freshen up her makeup for the camera. When she finished, she set up two stools in her living room in front of the fireplace and put her phone on a tripod for filming.
“Jack, come sit over here so I can make sure you’re in the frame.” He was a bit taller than her, and she didn’t want to get done with the interview and find she’d cut his head off. She was almost certain he wouldn’t do a second take.
He sat, and she adjusted the height of the tripod. He glanced at her tablet, scrolling through the questions she was going to ask him. Every once in a while, his shoulders lifted—maybe with amusement, maybe with disgruntlement. With Jack, it was so hard to know.
She grabbed a lamp, needing more light, but it cast shadows on his face at this angle. “I’ve got to adjust you.” She took his firm arm and directed him to move to the right about an inch and angle his body toward her.
He glanced up, his face closer to hers than she’d realized, and she caught her breath at the intensity of his gaze. His normally guarded green eyes were framed with dark lashes and furrowed brows, but right then, they were open and searching. His mouth curved up on one side in an almost grin, and she caught her breath at how handsome he was. A fact she always knew—and if she managed to forget, her nurses would remind her—but rarely unsettled her.
Today was one of the rare days, it turned out.
“Ready?” he asked.
She flushed when she realized she was still standing close, touching him. She stepped back hastily and bustled to her camera. “Let me make sure you’re not in shadows.”
“I’m not going anywhere.”
She knew he meant that he wasn’t moving from his spot, yet his deep words zinged through her. Not quite warm and comforting, like her favorite chenille blanket she snuggled in on cold nights, although he usually did have that effect on her. No, the phrase moved through her veins like liquid fire, heating her from the inside out. Still warm, but in an entirely different way. Now, she felt her own brows furrowing.
Get it together, Holly.
She pressed “record” on her phone and then took her seat next to Jack, mentally settling into her MyHeartChannel host groove. “Hello, everyone. This is Holly with One Great Love Story. Usually on this show, we interview one couple about how they fell in love, and there’s nothing I love more than hearing all of your love stories. But with Christmas around the corner, I thought it might be fun to try our hand out at helping someone find their own love story.”
She shifted toward Jack, mindful of the lighting. Her knees tapped against his, and she was relieved to note that no fire rushed through her veins this time. “So on that note, I’d love to introduce you to my late husband’s best friend, Jack Shay.”
Jack frowned, and she mouthed, Smile! She’d have a hard enough time getting her viewers on board with a new format without him being surly.
Instead of smiling, though, he said, “Why do you always call me Dallon’s best friend?”
Holly opened her mouth to say something, then closed it while her mind veered from her prepared speech. “Um, because you were.”
“Do your viewers know about Dallon?”
“A little.” She settled back into the seat, relaxing the straight posture she normally kept for the show. She was going to have to edit all of this out anyway. “They know he died a couple of years ago, but that’s pretty much it.” She paused, wanting to get back to his original question. “Do you not like it when I call you Dallon’s best friend?” She couldn’t imagine what his problem was with it. He and Dallon had been as close as brothers.
“You could drop the late husband part. Aren’t we best friends by now? Can’t we say that at this point?” It may have been one of the longest run of questions she’d ever heard him ask—not including when he barraged interns with questions, moving onto the next one before they could even answer the first.
“I don’t know.” She’d always thought of him as Dallon’s best friend, because that was what he’d been for the last decade. But in the last two years, Jack had shifted from a person she barely tolerated to someone she wanted to spend every free moment with.
And yet, it had all
started because of an obligation or sense of debt that Jack felt he owed Dallon. Right?
“I didn’t know you wanted to be thought of that way,” she finally said carefully, while her mind raced through the implications of taking Dallon out of their friendship.
“I’ve thought of us that way for a long time.”
She nodded and tried to think of him as her best friend, but it was hard to translate it to voice. Hard to even think about. But why?
Did her loyalty toward Dallon make her keep in the qualifier that he was her late husband’s best friend? Dallon wouldn’t care at all. In fact, he’d be thrilled that she and Jack had become friends. He’d spent much of their relationship talking up Jack’s good points, good points she’d rarely seen, or they were so far beneath the surface she couldn’t bother to look for them.
Now when she looked at Jack, all she saw were good points. Sure, he was still ornery and taciturn and preferred silence to almost all else, but he’d softened in the two years they’d grown close. They had conversations now without fighting. His bitterness about life had faded, and his dry wit and subtle humor could turn around even her worst days. And his heart, buried under all that gruffness, was one of the very best.
“Okay,” she said slowly. “I’ll start again.” She sat up straight and looked at the camera. “Today, I have my best friend, Jack Shay, with me.”
The moment the words came out of her mouth, she could almost feel the crack in her chest, the crumbling of wall she hadn’t even realized she’d placed between them until it started to fall apart. The removal of the heavy bricks felt exactly right. She glanced at him. The corners of his lips turned upward, and the weird tension between them since lunch dissolved.
“Jack is a colleague of mine at the hospital. And not only that, he was a rock for me after my husband, Dallon, died. He and Dallon were friends before the accident. Afterward, Jack became one of my closest friends. He was there for me when I needed him most.”
“You helped me, too,” Jack said.
“How?” She only recalled the many times he’d made sure she got out of bed and ate, while reminding her that she was still living even if Dallon wasn’t. He’d helped with the funeral arrangements, had stepped back when her and Dallon’s families had flown out, but then had been there again once everyone had gone home.
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