Britches Get Stitches

by Elicia Hyder

  He looked over his shoulder. “Good morning, beautiful. I’m surprised you’re awake.”

  “Not as surprised as I am. Got room for one more in there?”

  “Please.”

  “Let me brush my teeth. Where’s that toothbrush you promised me last night?”

  He opened the shower door and pointed to a mirrored cabinet beside the sink. “There are a couple of unopened extras in there. Help yourself.”

  Looking in the mirror as I brushed my teeth, I was a frightful mess. Mascara smudged beneath my bloodshot eyes, hair resembling something from the Muppets. I had to be at my parents’ house for lunch. I hoped I could come up with a reasonable excuse by then that had nothing to do with the truth.

  Jason was smiling when I stepped into the shower behind him. “Have I told you how smokin’ hot you are?” He moved to the side to share the hot water.

  “Only about a thousand times in the past forty-eight hours.” I draped my arms round his neck. His hands settled on my hips. “Did you sleep at all?”

  “I slept a lot, actually. So much that I’ll probably regret getting my schedule out of whack when I go back to work on Monday.”

  “It sucks that we have to return to the real world tomorrow. I have so much work to do this week I won’t even know where to begin.”

  “Still trying to get caught up on all your Black Friday orders?”

  “I’m pretty sure I’ll still be trying to get caught up on those orders the day I start drawing Social Security.”

  His fingers dug into my hipbones. “Well, I will go ahead and warn you that I plan on doing everything imaginable to keep you distracted.”

  I squirmed against him. “Yeah?”

  “Oh yeah.” He kissed me beneath the shower head. “Do you have plans next Saturday?” he asked when he pulled away.

  I thought for a moment. “Not that I can think of right offhand. Why? What did you have in mind?”

  “I was hoping we could put that dress of yours to good use again. The department’s holiday party is Saturday. I’d like for you to go with me.”

  “Wanting to show me off to your friends already?”

  “Absolutely.”

  “Then I’d love to. Do you have plans for the Saturday after that?” I asked.

  He shook his head. “I’m off on Saturdays and it’s not baseball season, so I have zero plans if they aren’t with you.”

  I raked my nails across the back of his neck. “Would you be interested in getting dressed up and going to the Symphony Center with me? Monica is performing with the choir and I have two tickets to go see her.”

  “Sounds fancy.”

  “It is.”

  “I’d love to. Hey, look at us making plans for the future already.”

  I laughed. “I know. Two whole weeks.”

  He reached for his black mesh shower sponge and drizzled body wash over it. Then he dragged it across my chest.

  “Can I be a girl for a second?” I asked.

  He cocked an eyebrow as he slid the sponge over my shoulder and down my arm. “If you are not a girl all the time, then we need to have a very serious discussion.”

  I laughed. “You know what I mean.”

  “You can always ask me anything, Grace.”

  “I haven’t done this in a really long time.” I gestured between us.

  He grinned. “Let a man soap you up in the shower? There’s not a whole lot to explain.”

  “Not this…well, I haven’t done this either, at least not in—” I stopped myself. “That’s not what I’m talking about.”

  He chuckled. “What are you talking about?”

  “Are you seeing other people?” I blurted out.

  “No. Are you?”

  “No,” I said.

  “Good. I’m glad we got that out of the way. Anything else?”

  “Are you going to tell Clay about us?”

  He looked at me. “Does it matter?”

  “I’m not sure.”

  “It shouldn’t matter, Grace.”

  “I know. It’s just you’ve been friends for a really long time, and—”

  “Do you want me to tell him?”

  “No.”

  He went back to washing my arm. “Why not?”

  “It will be more drama. And I’m so tired of all his drama.”

  Jason nodded. “When I showed up at your house Friday night, I had already decided that I didn’t owe Clay anything. Even an explanation about all this. I have no plans to call him and make an announcement. But it will come up sooner or later. Nashville isn’t that big.”

  “I’d rather it be later.” My eyes drifted toward the shower wall. “Although, it would be kinda victorious to be a fly on the wall when he finds out. Watch his face melt when he finds out you and I are together.”

  Jason stopped lathering. “Wow.”

  “What?”

  “You’re not over it.”

  “Over Clay? I hate Clay.”

  “There’s no doubt about that.”

  “Is that a bad thing?”

  “It just means you’re not over it.”

  I wanted to stamp my foot and argue. Or maybe list all the reasons why one could never possibly get over an atrocity such as what Clay had done to me. But Jason had resumed his work with the sponge across my collar. With his body blocking the full stream of the shower head, the suds slid slowly down my stomach. His eyes carefully followed them. Watching him watching me was one of the sexiest things I’d ever seen.

  “Grace?”

  “Hmm?”

  “I have a favor.”

  My mind spun to the sexual variety. “Anything.”

  He was quiet so long that I opened my eyes. “Don’t make me your rebound guy.”

  “I won’t, Jason.”

  “Promise?”

  “I promise.”

  Fifteen

  “So…how’s it going?” Monica had saved me a seat at our first official team meeting on Monday. It was in a small auditorium at MacKay University, and we had seats right up front.

  My cheeks immediately burned. “Things are going well.”

  She laughed and wagged her finger. “Oh no, you’re not getting off that easily. Spill it. I want all the details.”

  “Let’s just say, I’m very glad that he works Monday through Friday. Otherwise, I’d never get anything done.”

  “Ahh, new love. I remember those days.”

  “Psh, if any married couple I know still experiences those days it’s you and Derek.”

  “I can’t complain. Have you two been together since the parade?”

  “On and off. I stayed at his place Saturday night, but I left in time for lunch with my family. He came back over late last night and stayed until very early this morning.” I yawned. “I haven’t slept much.”

  Laughing, she prodded my arm with her elbow.

  “I won’t see him again for a while though, and it’s a good thing. I’m going to be so busy fulfilling those dress orders this week that I hired my mom again to temporarily help.”

  “How many dresses have you done?” she asked.

  “So far, Kiara and I have finished eight gowns since Black Friday. Margaret and Carla have each done two. Only forty-one more to go. More are being added every day.”

  “If I could sew, I would totally help out. Did I ever tell you that I failed home economics in high school because my fingers bled all over my end-of-the-year sewing project?”

  “No. How did you bleed all over your project?”

  “Accidentally stabbing myself with the needles.”

  We both laughed.

  “Hey, how’s the old lady who comes into your shop? Sylvia, right?”

  “Yeah. She’s better. Her son called last night to say that she finally woke up, and they moved her to a regular room. They’re talking about letting her go home later this week.” I sighed. “I don’t think she has too much time left.”

  “That’s so sad,” Monica said.

  Su
san walked up to the podium and the front of the room. “Good evening, everyone. Let’s get down to business so we can all go home. First, I’d like to thank everyone who worked so hard to make the Slammy Awards this year such a success. And I sincerely appreciate everyone behaving enough so that the Christmas parade was also a smashing success the very next morning.”

  Monica nudged my arm. “She’s not talking to you.”

  I snickered.

  “Our first order of business today is to discuss the next Fresh Meat training,” Susan said. “Shamrocker?”

  Susan sat down as Shamrocker took the podium. She had a slip of paper in her hand. “In the two days since the parade, we’ve received twelve emails inquiring about the next training session.”

  Several people clapped.

  “The next Fresh Meat training is scheduled to begin January sixteenth. We are always looking for help with newbie training, so if you are interested in joining us, please see me after the meeting. As of right now, their skills test is scheduled for Saturday, March eleventh. That’s the weekend before the B-Cup Tournament.”

  Black-Eye Candy raised her hand at the end of our row. “Are there more flyers we can take with us tonight? I’d like to hand some out over the holidays.”

  “Yes, we have plenty. See me after practice and I’ll hook you up.” Shamrocker looked around the room. “Any more questions?”

  No one else spoke.

  “Then that’s all I have,” Shamrocker said.

  She sat down and Susan returned to the podium. “Next we have some good news for the B-team. You’ll be happy to know we’ve selected a new head coach.”

  The room was dead silent.

  Susan looked toward the back of the room. “Everybody give it up for Medusa.”

  Monica put her hand on my arm as everyone else clapped. “Oh god,” she whispered. “I’m gonna die.”

  I chuckled. “You know, she’s probably the best shot we have at winning the B-Cup. This is a good thing.”

  Medusa walked down the aisle and up to the podium beside Susan. Her black hair had a fresh set of bright purple highlights, and she wore fuchsia tiger-striped leggings and a slouchy black sweatshirt.

  She waved to all of us. “I’m pretty sure that once upon a time I swore I’d never take another coaching position again, right?” A few people in the room laughed. “But I’ve been so impressed by this latest group of recruits that I decided to break my own rule.” She looked around the room, making eye contact with several of us. “I look forward to this upcoming season, and I look forward to bringing home that golden-bra trophy in March!”

  Everyone cheered.

  She held up a finger. “We do have an update about the tournament. The bracket for the tournament has been released. There is a chance we will be playing Richmond in the finals.”

  My smile faded quickly. “Richmond, as in our arch rival that kicked our asses twice last year?”

  Monica looked like she might vomit.

  “So we’re all going to train our hardest between now and March. Am I right?” Medusa yelled.

  The cheering resumed.

  All smiles, Medusa walked back toward Maven on the last row.

  “It’s a good thing I’ll be skating with the juniors soon. I’m going to need all the extra practice I can get,” Monica said.

  Susan held up her arms to silence everyone. “I’m sure it will be a very exciting year for the B-team. In January, we will be booking travel for the B-Cup Tournament. It’s close enough to drive, but we will be staying overnight at a hotel. Last year, I think rooms were about a hundred dollars each, and most of us slept four to a room.

  “Next on the agenda, I’d like for Full Metal Jackie to come up and fill us in on what’s going on with our juniors’ team.”

  Jackie walked to the front of the room. “If you guys don’t already know, our juniors’ team is growing every week. We are working hard to fill a full roster by the beginning of the season. In the middle of this, you all know I’ve retired. This week, Doc Carnage has agreed to take my place as the president of the junior’s league.”

  I clapped, looking around for Doc Carnage. She waved a few rows back.

  “I’d also like to formally welcome Dr. Hooker to our training team. She’ll be joining us full-time at the start of the year.” She gestured toward Monica. Several of our teammates clapped. Monica waved. “We could still use more help. Please see me after the meeting if you’re interested in joining.”

  I swear, she was staring at me.

  Susan returned to the front. “Our final order of business is to discuss our upcoming practice schedule. Remember, for the rest of the month, we will not practice on Saturdays. There are lots of holiday conflicts this time of year, so enjoy your weekends with your families and friends. Christmas is on a Sunday this year, so we will not practice the week after the holiday. Practice will resume on Monday, January the second, right here for our next team meeting. Any question?”

  No one raised their hands.

  “OK. We’ll see you all at Wednesday night’s scrimmage! Meeting adjourned.”

  It was a very good thing that Jason worked during the week. We talked a lot and texted, but I had no time to see him, even for dinner. Every minute I wasn’t at derby practice was spent behind my sewing machine. Mom was busy working from home, and Kiara was with me every day in the shop that she wasn’t in class.

  On Wednesday, Kiara finished dress number nine on our list, while I put the finishing touches on dress number ten.

  “All done,” Kiara said, straightening the hem of the Charlotte dress she was working on.

  I got up to inspect her work. Putting my hands on her shoulders from behind, I nodded. “It’s perfect. I, literally, couldn’t have done any better myself. Nice job.”

  With a sigh, she raked her nails back through her hair. “I hope there aren’t any more who chose those stupid beaded butterfly appliqués. That’s some super-tedious shit, Grace. Can we please take them off the choices menu?”

  I walked back to my desk. “They are a fifteen-dollar add-on each.”

  “Well…as long as we’re getting paid for being tedious.”

  I pulled an envelope from my top drawer. “I have something for you.”

  She turned in her chair, and I handed it to her. She slid a finger under the flap to open it, and pulled out the check inside. Her eyes widened. “Grace, holy cow. Are you kidding me right now?”

  “You’ve earned it. You saved my ass on Black Friday, and there’s no way I’d be able to get all these done without you. Go. And enjoy your time in New York for both of us.”

  She got up and hugged me. “Thank you so much.”

  I laughed. “I’ll remind you of that after the twenty or twenty-fifth order of the Charlotte with butterfly appliqués.”

  We called it a day after that. I was so exhausted that even my knuckles were tired. But it was scrimmage night, so I went up to my apartment, fixed a sandwich for dinner, and changed into my derby tights and practice jersey.

  I should have known I was in trouble when I had to stop for water midway through our warm-up with Midnight Maven.

  Monica skated over to me. “Are you OK?”

  I was panting hard, but I nodded. “Just running a little slow today. I was up half the night finishing a dress.”

  “Are you going to make it through a scrimmage?”

  The answer was no; I just didn’t know it yet. Monica and I were sorted into different scrimmage teams. She was with Medusa, and Lucy and I were with Maven. Great. Maven started me as a jammer, and things went downhill from there.

  I wasn’t sure if it was punishment for slacking off during the warm-up or just Maven’s twisted life mantra that one can never have enough cardio, but not once in the first half did she let me call off the jam early. And while two minutes doesn’t sound like a very long time, when you’re skating full-out at top speed, then slamming, pushing, and shoving your way through a wall of blockers, two minutes is a lifetime.r />
  By my fourth jam, I had nothing left to give. Held up in the pack with no energy to push my way through, I ripped the star off my helmet and passed it to Lucy, the pivot for our team. As I stretched to reach her, Bad News Baroness, a blocker for the other team, knocked me sideways. I lost my balance and went down inside the swarm of skaters, taking Princess Die with me.

  Her elbow came up and clocked me in the face. Then I landed hard with my right hip on her wheels. I screamed out in horrific pain. Four loud blasts from a whistle ended the jam as I rolled onto my back on the cold floor.

  Maven appeared above me, her face blurry from the tears in my eyes. “Are you OK?”

  I moaned in response.

  “Doc!” she yelled.

  Doc Carnage was suddenly beside me. “Yikes. Somebody’s going to have a black eye.”

  “No shit,” I said, draping my forearm over my helmet. “It’s my ass that really hurts.” I rolled onto my left side, and pulled my waistband down over my butt cheek.

  Everyone around me cringed audibly. Maven said the F-word.

  Doc covered it back up, gently. “The good thing is, there’s a lot of padding back there.”

  “Hey!” I said with some offense.

  “Be glad. If that were bone, you’d be heading out in an ambulance.”

  “That bad?”

  “I can almost see the outline of the skate.”

  Oh god. The visual made the pain skyrocket.

  “You need ice. Immediately,” Doc said.

  “I’m on it.” Maven turned and skated away.

  Doc touched my arm. “Can someone drive you home?”

  “Give me a minute to rest, and I’ll be fine to drive.”

  She offered her hand. “Come on. I’ll help you off the track.”

  “Me too,” Monica said, grabbing my other hand.

  The two of them helped me back up onto my skates, but once I was vertical, it was obvious my right leg would be of little use. The pain was too great. It radiated from my hip all the way down to my toes.

  Monica took my arm across her shoulders, letting me use her as a crutch over to the bleachers. “Want me to take you home?” she asked as I eased down onto the bench with my left butt cheek.

  “No, I’ll be fine. Get back out there and finish the scrimmage.”