by Leigh, Ellis
And with that, I shoved open the door to the staircase and ran downstairs. And if a few tears fell before I made it to my car…well, no one could blame me. Right?
My mate—my fated other half—didn’t want a mate, which meant pain and hopelessness in regard to my own future. Shifters didn't refuse matings—it simply wasn't done. They'd get sick. They'd die eventually.
Clark had just destroyed my life and his, and he wasn’t smart enough to know it yet.
3
Clark
Women had always been a mystery to me. No, not a mystery—I liked mysteries. Liked solving them, really. Women were an unsolvable conundrum that simply refused to fit into place in my mind. My draw to a particular woman—the little fox shifter named Misty—made no sense to me. She was gorgeous, yes. Of course. Way too pretty to want to spend time with a man like me. She was also snarky and sarcastic, brassy and bold. She was the exact opposite of me, yet there was nothing I wanted more than to figure out why I couldn’t stop thinking about her. Stop dreaming of her scent. Why she was slowly driving me mad.
Out of habit, I opened my computer and began listing what I knew about her. I’d first noticed that something was off inside of me, that the mental cage I’d kept my wolf in since I was a child seemed to be weakening, about four months prior. I’d taken a trip to Kinship Cove for the day and had ended up not wanting to leave. When I did return to the college where I lived and taught, I couldn’t get the town out of my head.
I’d assumed at first that it was some sort of seasonal hormone shift, being that I had a beast living within me. My mother had raised me to control the wolf within, to cage him up and not let him overtake my logical thoughts. Shifting hadn’t happened until I was in my twenties—and rarely happened since that first time. I didn’t like losing control to him. I lived in a world of science and logic and reason—he lived in a world of base desires like food and sex.
Sex…didn’t sound so bad right then.
“Hydrogen, helium, lithium, beryllium, boron, carbon, nitrogen…” I chanted the periodic table out loud first by atomic mass then by year of discovery, letting my mind wander back to the problem at hand. The one named Misty.
I’d been drawn to a bakery in Kinship Cove, the one where my wolf had woken up for the first time in a long time and demanded something of me. Had pushed my human side to the back and nearly taken over. He hadn’t succeeded. The control of my human mind was undoubtedly stronger—likely from starving the beast of any sort of control for so many years—but the mutt had still figured out a way to overpower me at times. He'd force my thoughts back to that place, that town, that bakery. Back to the scent that wouldn’t let us go.
So, I’d studied and researched the town and later the bakery, had figured out who owned the place and then hacked my way in to their computers to know more about them. The three sisters had seemed quite uninteresting until I’d dug a little deeper into the youngest one’s browser history, specifically the links and records from her phone. I’d discovered that Franny—such a horrible name for a woman named Madeleine—was looking into selling her intimates online to strangers. I’d monitored her activity until that first pair hit the auction site. I’d purchased that pair for research, of course. Thinking maybe, just maybe, I could build some sort of professional relationship with the girl so I could explore my call to her store. That hadn’t happened, though. I'd barely made it back to my door from the mailbox with the garment in hand before an erection—so large and so uncomfortable, I’d thought for just a moment that I'd been drugged—had demanded all my attention. And by attention, I meant my hand. A lot of time with that damned erection in my hand. Too much time.
Once I’d finally spent myself a dozen times, I’d written up a research log on what had happened. My experiment results list, while short, had led me to assume that Madeleine was the one whose scent tugged me toward the bakery. Of course, I had to test that hypothesis, so I bought another pair. And another. And then…well, let's just say I became a regular customer. And a person who suddenly hated how fast he ran out of hot water.
And yet, those panties had never quite scratched my itch. Never quite soothed my beast. No matter how many times I’d bought them.
I’d bought them a lot, too. Paid top dollar for them. Even convincing the young Franny to meet in person multiple times so I could determine if proximity mattered. All for nothing—I’d gone down the wrong path. It was Misty I should have been studying.
“Misty, fox shifter, beautiful…” My chant shifted gears, my mind filling with thoughts of the woman who was supposedly my mate. I’d overlooked her at the bakery—a stupid mistake on my part and one that would plague me for weeks as I rewound every interaction with Madeleine and tried to put the pieces together in a new pattern. I should research the little fox shifter, should hack my way in to her computer and phone to see what I could find out. I was about to, actually, when suddenly my fingertips were no longer fingertips. They were claws.
“Beast, no—”
But my words turned to a growl, fur sprouting and my body changing until I stood on all fours. My wolf howled in my head, his own thoughts accessible to me in a way they’d never been before. And they were totally focused on one thing.
Misty. Mate. Claim.
I was forced into a passenger role as the wolf padded through the hotel room, opened the door with an impressively large paw, and raced down the stairs and through the hotel lobby. Once outside, the beast ran fast and hard, scenting Misty and following her trail. Hunting her down. My human side was unable to stop him. This action—this moment—seemed to be based solely on instinct.
It didn’t take long to catch up with the fox shifter. She’d pulled over at a scenic overlook and was sitting on the hood of her car, staring up at the sky. And crying. That made my wolf see red at the idea that someone had hurt her. But, me? I was far more curious. Why would she be crying when she was the one who’d refused to participate in my experiment?
My wolf huffed, forcing his thoughts in a direction that showed me things like mates and affection, like pack dynamics and puppy piles, like companionship and sex. Lots of sex. He wanted his mate, to take care of her, to love her. I huffed, doubting that was real. Forcing my thoughts to hotels and beds and computers where I could research.
My wolf won. Again.
We slipped along the edge of the overlook until we stood directly in front of Misty’s car, watching her. She stared right back, likely having heard us coming. Knowing we were there for her. Even upset and tear-streaked, her beauty spoke to me. So soft, this woman. So lovely. Perhaps I should try a little harder to convince her to let me research our connection. Perhaps I should look at my wolf’s ideas as more than antiquated hormonal pulses.
Perhaps I should lose the fur for a bit.
It took much more energy than I would have liked, but I shifted back to my human form.
My very naked human form.
I’d forgotten about that part.
And Misty wasn't polite enough to ignore it. “Welp, you certainly weren’t lying about the whole erection thing, were you?”
I crossed my hands over my groin, every inch of my body in tune with hers. Too many inches. “I’m sorry that I was curt before. I’m…new to all this.”
“To the whole being a shifter thing. I can tell.”
“I’ve known about my wolf since I was a child.”
She shrugged, moving over and patting the empty area of hood next to her. Indicating I should join her, which of course, I did.
“You may have known about him, but you never learned about him.”
“I studied—”
“You can’t study being a shifter. You have to live it.” She stared up at the stars for a long moment, quiet and calm. No longer crying. “Why do you want to treat this—me—like a science experiment?”
I gave her question the time and thought it deserved, even though the answer was easy to me. “Science makes sense, and logic is necessary. I love research, alw
ays have. I like solving puzzles.”
“And you see me as a puzzle.”
“More my draw to you than you yourself. You’re…a woman.”
She rolled her eyes. “Gee, thanks for noticing.”
Hurt. She was hurt. By my words. “I’m sorry. I’m horrible at this. I don’t mean to diminish your femininity as if I were only just noticing it. You’re stunningly beautiful. Breathtaking, really.”
She turned to stare at me with an inscrutable expression on her face, one that made my wolf sit up and take notice. One that had my heart pounding in my chest. What was it with this woman?
“I’ll make you a deal,” she said finally, still watching me with those eyes I couldn’t look away from. “I’ll let you research this whole mating pull with me if you allow me to teach you about being a shifter, including what being a mate means to us.”
“I don’t believe in mates.”
“Then you have nothing to worry about.” She went back to looking at the stars, her chin up this time and her expression hardening. “You’ll never feel anything for me anyway.”
My wolf whined for some reason, the hard edge in her voice scratching at something in my human senses, too. I pushed past the discomfort, though. She was willing to give me what I wanted, and all I had to do was learn about being a shifter. That could only add to my overall research of shifter dynamics. I liked research.
I liked the idea of spending time with her in any way I could, too.
“You’ve got yourself a deal.”
4
Misty
I am an idiot. A raging idiot. A raging idiot without a lot of choices.
You know what sucked? My life. That’s what. For two days, I’d paced and fretted and berated myself. I’d questioned what I was thinking every single second I was awake. I’d fought the almost overwhelming urge to haul ass over that mountain and track down the man the fates had thrown into my path like some sort of boulder. And while doing all that, I thought about my decision. Accepting it. Coming to terms with it. And in the end, I held strong. I would become a willing research subject instead of a mate.
By the fates, suck was too weak of a word choice.
My reality had taken a turn for the worse with my mating, and that hadn’t been something I could have seen coming. I mean, I’d heard of imperfect pairings—I had a brother mated to a human social media influencer who also happened to be a vegan. Talk about a mismatch. I figured mine took the proverbial cake, though. Clark didn’t want me, didn’t believe in mates. There was no future with him, and yet there was no life for either of us without our bond. I could torture myself physically or emotionally—deal with the pain of trying to deny a mating bond, or deal with the hurt of knowing my own mate had no real interest in building a life with me. Decisions, decisions.
Ah, bullshit. The decision was easy enough. I was no sadist in the physical sense, and I could cut off any sort of emotional connection that might develop on my end. I would spend my time teaching Clark about shifters and stuff. Stuff being sex. Unemotional, casual sex. With a hottie professor my fox had a distinct and specific attraction to. One that focused around the whole…sex thing. Not that I could blame her. That erection he’d come walking up to me with when I’d stopped to give my tears a chance to dry? Impressive.
If you can’t mate them, ride them.
“You okay?”
I looked up, meeting Coco’s concerned eyes. “Yeah, of course. Why?”
“Because you’ve been staring at the eclairs for a solid five minutes.”
Seriously…impressive.
“I’m fine, just preoccupied.” I glanced at the clock, and my heart jumped a bit. Research time. “And late. I have to go.”
“Hot date tonight?”
I wish. “Something like that.”
“You okay, Misty?”
How to answer that? “Not in the least, but there’s nothing anyone can do to help, so just ignore me.”
“You know that’ll never happen.”
“I do, and I love you for caring. Just…I don’t have the mental capacity to deal with a Chance sisters inquisition right now.”
She gave me a concerned look before nodding. “Understood. You know you’ve got us, though, right?”
“I do.”
“Then go forth and suffer alone. Call me if you need a shoulder to cry on.” She winged an eyebrow up. “Call Magnus if you need someone to bury the body.”
“You learned that eyebrow trick from me.”
“I did.”
“It looks good on you.”
“Thanks. I meant what I said.”
“I know. Shoulders and bodies. I’ve got it.” I paused for just a second before diving for her and giving her a big hug. “Thanks.”
She hugged me back, sniffling suspiciously before shoving me away. “Get out of here, fox. Go be your sneaky self.”
Grabbing my coat, I hurried out the door and down Main Street before turning toward the water. Don’t throw up. Don’t throw up.
I was totally going to throw up.
But I had no time for regurgitating. I was meeting Clark for our first educational session. He’d seemed excited about the plan when I’d offered up the option of meeting right away instead of waiting for two weeks. Biweekly was for losers—thankfully, he’d agreed. For this event, at least. Okay, so maybe a response of That sounds fine was more placating than accepting. Maybe. Who texted that response to a Want to meet up to talk about shifters text? Clark did, apparently.
The man himself appeared at the end of the block wearing a dark, wool pea coat and gray beanie. I almost had to chain up my fox inside myself to keep her from exploding—the man was hot. Like, movie star, silver fox, still got it hot. He had a little scruff growing below those dark glasses he wore and a very serious expression on his face that made him seem almost dangerous. Not that he was. To anyone but me.
“Hi,” I said, doing my best to control the need within me to touch, to feel, to hug. He didn’t seem like a hugger, and my fox would snuggle the stuffing out of him if I let her loose. “You find it okay?”
“Yes, thank you. Though—” his nose wrinkled, and that dangerous expression grew harsher “—it’s quite pungent down here.”
I nearly grinned. “I know. Come on, I’ll show you why.”
We headed all the way to the water, to a pier that sat at the edge of the wharf. The ships didn’t come to this particular pier anymore for numerous reasons, one being the source of the stink.
“Clark, meet the seal shifters of Kinship Cove.” I swept out my arm, indicating the water in front of us. It took Clark a second or two to realize he needed to look down, not out, but he eventually saw them.
“What are they doing here?”
“Enjoying the last days they can of decent weather before they come out of the water for winter.”
He looked disgusted. “Why do they smell so bad?”
“Because seals are stinky. Cute, though.”
He whipped around, frowning. “You think they’re cute?”
“Of course. Look how tubby they are. They embrace their chub, and I think that’s adorable and awesome.” I waved at the seals, trying hard not to think about the fact that I’d said chub to a man who might be showing me his own chub—again—shortly. Maybe. Get your mind off of sex. “Hi, guys! My mom got her hands on some beautiful lox this afternoon, so tomorrow there will be freshly made bagels from Cake-ily Ever After on the menu. Make sure to stop by the diner.”
The seals below hissed and grunted a little in response, which was really all I could expect from them. The water was too cold for them to shift just to talk to me. They’d freeze their bits off.
“Did you choose to show me the seals so you could sell more bagels tomorrow?”
I waved at the seals again, then grabbed Clark by the arm and walked him toward town. “No, though that really should have been my plan. The salmon lox thing was a coincidence.”
“I don’t believe in coincidence.”
“You don’t believe in a lot of things,” I said, wrinkling my nose at the leftover eau de seal shifter. “Doesn’t mean they’re not true.”
“So, if you weren’t there to sell things, why on earth would you subject yourself and me to such a stench?”
“Because it’s a reminder that you’re not human.” I turned the corner, keeping pace with him as he slowed his steps. “Humans wouldn’t smell that so strongly. They wouldn’t abandon entire areas because of the odor either. That reaction to the scent of them? That was your wolf senses in play.”
His brow pulled down, his eyes locking on mine. “But I’m in my human form.”
“Doesn’t matter. Our animals don’t just disappear when we’re human, no matter how much you might want them to.”
He hummed, watching me with an earnest expression. “So, you’re trying to show me my animal side is always there.”
“Sure. That seems like a good lesson.”
“Those seal shifters had a purpose, then.”
“Oh no,” I said, grinning. “They just hang out there being lazy and making a nuisance of themselves. They’re excellent examples of stinky things being stinky, though.”
He laughed. Loud and somewhat brash, the sound rolled across my senses and made me grin. He hadn’t laughed with me before, and I liked it. Liked the sound and the look of him grinning and the knowledge that I’d done that—had made him happy, even if for just a moment.
Quit falling for your mate.
“C’mon, professor,” I said, dragging him along the road as I shoved my fox—and my own emotional needs—into the very back of my head. “There’s a great coffee shop up the way. I’ll buy you a cup.”
“Shouldn’t I buy you one? You’re the one doing me the favor.”
“Nope. My town, my treat. That’s the way this works.” I didn’t mention that him buying me coffee would feel too much like a date. I didn’t mention that spending time with him made me ache for more, for a true mate. I didn’t mention that seeing him laugh was a bright spot in my day.