by K. Street
“Glad I could help.”
“Dante, let’s meet up for a drink soon,” Davis says.
“Sure thing,” I reply.
He gives a two-fingered wave and walks out.
Tessa flops into a chair. Her elbows propped on the table, she braces her head in her hands. I start to rub away the tension knotted in her shoulders.
“Mmm. That feels good.”
“Are you okay?”
“Not really.”
“What can I do?”
“What you’re doing definitely helps.” She melts under my touch.
“What are you feeling?”
“Well…Dr. Salinger.” She almost laughs.
“Smart-ass.” I squeeze her shoulders. “You can’t keep all that shit bottled inside, Tess.”
“God, Dante…I don’t know. I’m mentally exhausted, and I want to sleep for a week. I feel like I’ve been stuck in a rip current, and no matter how long I swim parallel to the shore, I’m never going to find my way out.”
“Tess, it’s going to take time.” I press the pads of my thumbs into the base of her neck and work my way upward.
“The things Kyndal said…I don’t understand how she can be such a cold, calculated bitch. It hurts that Trevor didn’t tell me about the affair or Brandon. He took away my choice because he just assumed I would leave him.”
“Would you have?”
“I don’t know. Maybe, but it doesn’t matter now anyway.” Tessa lifts her head and squints at the clock on the wall. “Don’t you need to get back to work?”
“I do, but I have a few minutes.”
“No, I’ve kept you long enough. How about we finish this talk tonight after you get off? Maybe we can go for a walk or something.”
“Okay. Do you want to meet me in the lower lobby at a quarter after five?” I drop my hands and take a step back, so she can stand.
“Sure.”
We both stride toward the door, and I kiss her forehead before going to my office.
forty-three
Tessa
After I watch Dante walk back down the hall to his office, I step into the restroom and go into one of the two stalls. The doors are full-length without gaps, which makes it perfect to hide in for a few minutes. I lock the door, sit on the toilet, and drop my face into my hands. There are no tears. I just breathe.
It’s finally over. I’m flooded with relief but completely overwhelmed at the same time.
Since the night Trevor died, my life has been nothing but emotional turbulence. I’ve battled so hard to survive the heartache, and now that I can drop my sword…I don’t know what to do with myself. I’m standing on the threshold of my new normal with no idea of who the hell I am. I can’t go back to being the woman I was before, and I don’t want to be the woman I’ve turned into.
I need to find myself, and to do that, I need to let go. Trevor’s life insurance policy is still there. I haven’t touched it because I’ve been living off our savings. I have the means to give myself some necessary breathing room.
I stand to my feet, unlock the stall door, and step in front of the sink. For the first time in ages, I smile genuinely at my reflection. Then, I suck in a breath and blow it out.
My thoughts turn to Dante and the words he often speaks echo in my subconscious.
“I’ve got you.”
I shake my head, lean in, and speak to the woman in the mirror. With a finger pointed at my chest, I tell her, “I’ve got you.”
I exit the restroom, much less weighed down and already formulating a plan to take my life back. After I assure Katie that I’m fine and I tell her good-bye, I exit Dante’s building and walk a couple of blocks to the bakery. I enjoy a bagel and coffee, and I smile at strangers. Then, I hail a cab back home to pack a bag and book my flight.
Tonight, I’ll talk to Dante, and while I hope he understands, I’m going regardless. I need to do this for me, especially if there will ever be an us.
forty-four
Dante
At ten past five, I leave my office and take the elevator to the ground floor lobby. Tessa is waiting for me, but she’s chatting with someone, and she hasn’t spotted me yet.
I slow my pace and scan the length of her body. She’s wearing a gold shirt that dips in front, showing off her perfect tits, jeans that hug the curve of her ass, and shoes that look like they’re meant for a ballerina. She has no idea what she does to me. How much I want to bury myself inside her for days.
When Tessa notices me, she says good-bye to the woman she was speaking with and starts in my direction with a sincere smile on her face.
“Hi,” she says, giving me a hug.
“How was your afternoon?” I hug her back.
“Better than this morning. What about yours?”
“Same.” I laugh.
“I thought we’d stroll through Grant Park and then grab dinner.”
“Sounds good. After you.” I place a hand on the small of her back as we exit the building.
People litter the sidewalk, and walking next to Tessa is difficult until the crowd thins out a bit after several blocks.
Once speaking becomes easier, I start talking. “I was worried about you earlier.”
She peers up at me. “I really lost my shit for a few minutes.”
“You seem to have recovered, but maybe I should keep sharp objects out of your reach, just in case.” I nudge her with my shoulder.
“Very funny.”
“I thought so,” I tease her.
We stroll through the park that is scattered with joggers and people stretched out on yoga mats. I glance at Tessa and can tell by the look on her face that she’s struggling with how to tell me whatever it is she needs to say, but I want to give her time to work through it.
“Dante,” she says after a few minutes.
I know by the way she says my name that I’m not going to like whatever comes out of her mouth next.
“Mmhmm?”
“I’m leaving.”
I knew it was coming, but the impact of her words strikes me with the force of a blow. “I figured.”
“You did?”
“Don’t sound so surprised. Tess, I know you. Sometimes, I think you forget that.” I pause a beat before asking, “When?”
“Tomorrow.”
Her word shocks me, and I stop walking. “That soon? How long are you going to be gone?”
“I don’t know. A few weeks…maybe a few months.”
My jaw tenses. “Months?” I practically growl.
“Let’s sit.” Tessa walks over to a grassy patch, plops her ass down, and plucks a blade of grass. She begins rolling it between her fingers.
Begrudgingly, I sit beside her and wait for her to speak.
“I’m exhausted, Dante, to the depths of my soul. I’ve been on the frontlines of an emotional battlefield for months, and you’ve been there every step of the way, but I need to do this on my own. I have to allow myself time to decompress, and I can’t move on unless I do.”
“Are you going off the grid?”
“I’m going to travel a bit, and I’ll check in. I’m not going to disappear.”
“Are you coming back?” I try to keep the pain from my voice but fail as I stare into the distance.
“Eventually.”
Her honesty makes me wince.
“I’m not going to lie to you. The idea of you leaving guts me, but I know it’s what you need to do.” I look at her. “I meant it…when I told you that I loved you. I have never been in love with anyone but you.”
“Dante, I don’t know when I’m coming back. I don’t expect you to wait for me…” After a pregnant pause, she says, “But I hope you will.”
I lean closer and grasp her chin between my thumb and index finger, angling her face. “Look at me.”
Her eyes settle on mine.
“I love you. That hasn’t changed. It’s not going to change. You’re it for me, and I will wait for as long as it takes. I know the taste of
your skin and what it feels like when I’m buried inside you. You’re engraved on my fucking soul, and even if you don’t feel the same way…there won’t be anyone else, Tessa. Not for me. Not now. Not ever.”
Her eyes become glassy. She lays her head on my shoulder and hides her face in the crook of my neck. “Do you have any idea how incredible you are?”
“I do, but feel free to inflate my ego.”
She chuckles, playfully nudging me.
“I’m going to miss you like crazy.” I lean in to kiss her temple. “I’m proud of you.”
“Why?”
“You are the strongest woman I know. Do you have any idea how many nights I thought you might give up? That I would find you…bleeding out on the bathroom floor.” The idea of living in a world where she doesn’t exist is more than I can bear. “You kept fighting. Kept surviving. You used your emotions as a catalyst. You’re so much stronger than you give yourself credit for.”
“I haven’t felt very strong, but I appreciate you saying that.”
The world moves on around us, and we do our best to ignore it until Tessa’s stomach growls.
I laugh. “Ready for dinner?”
“I guess so.”
I stand, holding my hand out to help her off the ground. “What are you in the mood for?”
“It doesn’t matter. How about we walk until we find something that looks good?”
I gasp. “Are you being spontaneous?”
“Shut up.” She starts laughing, and I swear, it’s the best sound I’ve ever heard.
Her steps halt as we near Buckingham Fountain, and the major display begins. We tilt our heads skyward, watching the water shoot up in the air. She lets out a sigh, and we start walking again.
“What time do you leave tomorrow?”
She wraps her hand around my biceps as we maneuver our way out of the park. “I have to be at the airport by ten.”
“Do you want a ride to the airport?”
“Don’t you have to work?”
“I own the company.” Before Tessa agrees, I already have my phone out to type a quick email to Katie, letting her know I’ll be in late.
“In that case, I’d love one.”
Tessa and I stroll through the sidewalks, holding hands. The crowd hasn’t thinned out much, but I don’t give a shit. People can walk around us.
For dinner, we end up sharing two Chicago staples—pizza and Italian beef sandwiches.
After dinner, we go back to S&S to pick up her car. She gives me the keys and I drive the short distance to my place. When we get there, I change into a T-shirt and athletic shorts, and we curl up on the couch to watch a movie, just like old times.
She’s nuzzled against my arm, still awake, when the credits start to roll. I’m not ready for her to leave.
“Stay.”
“Okay.”
I chuckle. “That didn’t take much convincing.”
“I was hoping you would ask me to.”
Her admission brings me a measure of comfort.
“I’m going to miss you. Where are you going anyway? You never said.”
She lifts her head to look at me. “I’m flying into San Francisco, and then I’ll rent a car to drive to Napa. I’ll be there for five days or so, and then I’ll decide what’s next.”
“Promise me, you’ll be careful.”
“Promise.” She stifles a yawn.
“Ready for bed?”
“Yeah, but if it’s all right, I’m going to shower first.”
“I’ll grab you something to sleep in,” I say. Then, I add, “By the way, you still have some clothes here. Unless you need me to get your bag from the car.”
“I’m sure whatever is here is fine.” She stands.
I follow her to my bedroom and find her something to sleep in.
I wait for her to walk into the bathroom before I go to the kitchen and pour two fingers of whiskey into a tumbler.
When Tessa leaves, she’ll be taking my heart with her. I’ve waited this long, and unlike last time, I’m not going to chase her. When she’s ready, she’ll come back to me, and I hope to hell it’s sooner rather than later. I drain the liquid from the glass and set it in the sink. Then, I return to my room.
She walks out of my bathroom with her hair damp from her solo shower, wearing one of my shirts and a pair of boxer shorts she had to roll down several times to keep them from falling off. I just want to hold her. Wrap my arms around her and grasp her so fucking tight, I’ll be able to memorize the curve of her body pressed hard to mine.
I yank back the covers, and we both get into bed, lying down and facing each other.
“I’m going to miss you,” she says quietly.
Selfish asshole that I am…I want to beg her not to go. Reassure her that she can find herself here as well as she could anywhere else, but that’s not true. Tessa needs distance from this city and all the memories of her former life. Maybe, when she comes back, she’ll make new ones with me.
I trace my finger down her cheek. “I’ll miss you, too.”
She suppresses a yawn, and her heavy lids flutter.
“Roll over. I need to hold you.”
Her smile is sleepy as she leans up, pecks my lips, and rolls over. My arm glides over her hip, and I tug her into me, splaying my hand over her stomach. In no time at all, Tessa drifts off to sleep while I lie awake. I plant a kiss to the back of her head, feeling the coolness of her hair on my lips. She smells like honey and almonds…and Tessa. I inhale deeply, wishing there were a way to bottle her scent. Then, I remember her body wash is in my shower, and I can’t help but smile at that.
My eyes drift shut, and the sound of Tessa’s even breaths lull me to sleep.
forty-five
Tessa
Dante’s massive cock always seems to find me. I swear, the damn thing has a honing device for my ass. I wriggle away and crane my neck to see the clock. I’m not ready to get up yet, but we probably should.
“Stop wiggling,” Dante groans.
“Sorry.”
I attempt to slide out of bed, but he snakes an arm around my hip, holding me in place.
“Dante, it’s almost eight, and depending on traffic—”
“What time do you need to be there again?”
“Ten.”
“You’ll make it.” He rolls from his side and onto his back. “Come here.”
I twist to face him, and he taps his chest, so I scooch closer, nestling into him. We lie there in silence for several minutes while the beating of his heart thrums in my ear, and he traces circles over my hip.
“I’m going to miss you,” he says quietly.
“You keep saying that.”
“I know, but it’s true.”
“I’ll miss you, too, but I’m coming back.”
“So you keep saying.” He kisses my forehead. “We need to get moving.”
“My clothes?” I can’t remember exactly what I left behind, but I’m hoping for options.
“Top left drawer.”
“After I get dressed, I’ll make some coffee.”
When I get out of bed, he doesn’t stop me, and I make fast work of my morning routine, making sure to grab what I wore last night out of the bathroom. Once Dante is in the shower, I stride over to the dresser and opt for comfort. I pair black workout pants with two layering tanks.
Then, I go into the kitchen and make two mugs of coffee, so we can take them with us. Twenty minutes later, Dante is ready, and we’re out the door.
The drive to the airport is quiet. Dante’s attention is severely focused on the road, so I stare out the window, thinking about Napa and where the path will lead after that. I glance at Dante, taking in his profile. I hope, wherever the journey takes me, it will bring me full circle.
Before long, we’re at the airport. Dante drives into the garage and follows the signs for short-term parking. When he finds a spot and shuts the car off, I start to get out, but his voice stops me.
“You could fi
nd someone to talk to here.” His tone is gentle but matter-of-fact.
I settle back into the seat, and our gazes lock.
I tell him the truth, “I have to go, Dante. Please don’t make this harder.”
“Do you think this is easy for me? You aren’t the only one who’s been through hell, Tessa. Trevor betrayed me, too. He stole from our company. Then, the fucker got himself killed and didn’t have to answer for a damn thing. I’ve been running on empty, doing everything half-assed, while trying to clean up his mess.”
“I know how hard this has been for you,” I say calmly.
“Really? I wasn’t sure you noticed because, lately, all you seem to do is walk away.” Fire flashes in his dark irises.
“I’m sorry, Dante. I’m so sorry for hurting you. I’m sorry for what Trevor did.” My eyes sting with unshed tears, blurring his face. “I’m going. Please try to understand.”
We sit here in the stillness, in the confined space, with a chasm of emotions between us until Dante finally breaks the silence. “You need to get checked in.” He gets out of the car, slams the door, takes my bag from the trunk, and closes it with more force than necessary.
I know he’s hurting, but I can’t carry the weight of his pain with my proverbial baggage. I’m not that strong. I get out of the car and double-check to make sure I have everything before shutting the door.
Tension wafts off us in thick waves, causing the ocean of people to part, giving us a wide berth as we tread through the airport.
“You don’t have to stay,” I tell him, not wanting to draw out the painful process.
“I’m not. I have to get to work. I’ll make sure you’re squared away, and then I have to go.”
Dante follows me as far as he can, and when it comes time for us to part ways, my heart seizes. He kisses my forehead, turns, and strides away. I stare at his back for several seconds before panic takes over. He can’t leave like this.
He’s maybe thirty feet away when I call out his name, “Dante.” I yell louder, “Dante, wait!”
He stops and slowly pivots in my direction.
I run toward him, tears cascading down my cheeks. I drop my carry-on and throw myself into his outstretched arms. My legs go around his waist, and I hold tight to his neck.