by Sherell Lynn
“We need the paramedics!” I heard her say into the phone’s speaker. She suddenly stopped pacing and studied our mother’s body. I knew that she had just realized there was nothing a paramedic could do. Just one look at our mother and it was obvious.
“Oh God! No, no, not the paramedics! She's dead! Someone killed her,” she burst into tears. “Please just send someone. My sisters and I just found our mom dead in her room. She's been stabbed and beaten,” she shook her head. “No, no one else has been hurt,” seconds passed without my sister saying a word. Her eyes rolled into the back of her head. “Please stop talking and just send someone!” She hurriedly gave the dispatcher our address before throwing the phone across the room and letting out a horrific scream. Her body bent over as she screamed at the top of her lungs. Her knees buckled and she fell to the ground. The little reserve I had was broken and I became a mess in Maddi's arms.
I took a deep breath trying to gather up strength. “Come on Maddi,” I said getting her attention so that she could follow my lead. I got up and walked over to where Maci was. “Let's go sit in the living room and wait,” I could not be in mama's room any longer. My sisters must have felt the same way because no one disagreed. Slowly with one foot in front of the other, we walked out of the room. I was the first, then Maddi, and Maci was right behind her. We sat closely by each other on the sofa, crying and lost in our own thoughts. We remained like that for what seemed like hours. There was no sound in the house other than our cries.
The loud knock on the door made us all jump to our feet. "I'll answer it," Maci said.
At the door stood two white policemen. One was slightly taller than the other one. “Young ladies, I’m Officer Stanton and this is Officer Bell,” the slightly shorter one said introducing himself and his partner. “Do you mind if we come in?” He asked.
We all nodded, but only my older sister spoke, “Yes,” before shutting the door behind them.
“Can one of you tell us what’s going on?” Officer Bell asked. We all looked at each other, wondering who was going to say something.
“Well, today is my birthday,” I decided to start from the beginning. “My sisters wanted to take me out to celebrate and so we went to The Gap to hang out.”
“What’s the address of this place?” Officer Stanton asked.
I could not remember the street it was on or the houses number. “It’s off Ricker Road,” I stated.
Maddi then interjected and rattled out the address while he jotted it down in a small notebook. There was another knock on the door. Maddi moved to open it. A swarm of officers, paramedics, fire fighters, and detectives were at the entrance. Officers Stanton and Bell excused themselves to speak to the newcomers outside. My sisters and I stood inside anxiously waiting to see what would happen next. I bit my lip not realizing I had been chewing on it.
“Everything is going to be fine. We’ll be alright,” Maci encouraged. Usually her pep talks worked, not now. I’m not even sure she convinced herself. She looked just as nervous as I did.
Both officers came back inside followed by a line of other public servants. Officer Stanton addressed us. “I’m going to need the three of you to step outside with Officer Bell, so our team can conduct an investigation so we can find out what happened.”
I looked outside our opened door and saw our nosy neighbors looking in. Officer Bell urged us outside. We followed him to what I assumed to be his patrol car. When he stopped, he urged me to continue talking. So, I did, but when I got to the part about finding our mom, I had stop to catch my breath. I felt like my heart was going to explode and no matter how hard I tried not to, I found myself crying hysterically.
“I never would have asked her to go get the lighter had I known,” Maci tried to continue the story where I left off, but she too was having difficulties. We were all grief stricken, nervous and scared. However, somehow, we managed to get through all of the details of what happened. I’m sure it was definitely more information than he wanted or needed to know. After he finished writing, he put his notes away and went back inside to check with his partner. For the next few hours, we watched the officers and detectives going in and out of the house. Some had clear bags containing our mother’s belongings covered in blood. Others were talking, pointing out things, and taking pictures.
We watched as our mother’s body was pushed out of our house on a stretcher. The scene was too much to take in, it all felt strange. This could not be reality. Our mother was dead and someone killed her in our home.
Our home was deemed a crime scene so we were advised to not stay there. Even if we could have, we wouldn’t want to. Since Maci was eighteen, they told her she had the option of becoming our legal guardian if she wanted to. Maci turned to us and stated something that we had made up when we were younger, “Sisters forever, always together.” With that declaration, she hugged us and said that she would take whatever steps necessary to keep us together as a family. She used her savings that she was saving for her own place to get us a hotel room until we found a place more permanent.
One week later, we laid our mother to rest. We had no idea how we were going to pay for it, but our mother’s doctor friend agreed to cover the cost after hearing what happened to her. He told us he would cover whatever we needed for his greatest love. However, he went for the cheapest casket and a gravesite service to save even more money. A service he didn’t even bother to show up to because he was afraid of being seen and it getting back to his wife. His transgressions were repulsive, but we were grateful for what he offered. Our mother’s closest friends and neighbors came and told stories of how they met her and shared some of their favorite memories. They gave us words of encouragement, but nothing could make us feel better. There were no words, or anything anyone could have done to change the sorrow we felt.
She wasn’t the best mother, but she didn’t deserve to die that way. Mama was so beautiful; it was such a shame that she had to leave this earth in pieces. Her body had been so badly mutilated that she looked like a butcher had gone to work and chopped her up. I wished things could have been different. Everything in me wanted to have that mother-daughter relationship. There was not a day that went by that I didn’t wake up and feel guilty for not missing her or loving her. I wanted to love her and have those memories of the good times we’d had. But the truth was there were none. I could honestly say my mother hated me. She often spoke it and let her hand show it. The sad thing was I would never know why. May she rest in peace.
A month later, we were moving boxes into our little apartment while trying to make sense of our lives now. Maci had made good on her promise to us after filing the required paperwork. She went before a judge and sought legal guardianship. The investigation into our mother’s death was still active. The fear that her killer was still out there, was not only deeply disturbing, it was also terrifying.
.
2
I had never disclosed how I had ended up underneath a bridge or who I really was to anyone. The truth of the matter is I am running. I’m running from the past and the man who has plagued my dreams as well as my reality. I had truly believed that things were looking up for me after my mom died. Maci had gotten the three of us an apartment and I’d thought my sisters and I were finally on our way to having a good life.
On my eighteenth birthday, Maci and Maddi decided to throw me a party. I could not contain my excitement as I made my way to my room to get ready. I had bought the perfect body suit to complement my womanly curves. As I looked over my silhouette in the mirror, a smile came across my face. I was 5’6” with dark brown loose curls that fell just past my shoulders. My skin color was milk chocolate, which made my off-white body suit stand out. My size 40-C breasts and my voluptuous hips accentuated my sexy look for the night. I had added round gold hoop earrings and a simple gold chain that had a matching bracelet to accessorize my look. A pair of gold stilettos completed my outfit. As I stepped out of the room, I noticed my sisters. They both looked equally stunning.<
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Maci was the same height as our mom, which was 5’8.” She had caramel skin and a shape similar to mine. She was wearing a red form-fitting dress with black accessories and shoes to match. Maddi was leaning on Maci with her mouth in the form of an “O.” After a minute of staring, she finally spoke, “Wow, Me-Me, you lookin’ fine as hell! You really gonna try to one up us tonight huh?”
“Well, you know it is my birthday, Maddi. You are looking good too, baby sis,” I said to her, admiring her golden-brown skin in a lace, black dress that revealed her back. Maddi had come into her own skin and she enjoyed every inch of it. Her 5’7” frame was well put together. She was seventeen and getting ready for her final year in high school. I was so proud of her. Out of the three of us, she was the one with a good head on her shoulders. She was already getting letters of acceptance from various colleges around the country she had applied to.
It was something that made all of us proud of her. She would be the first in our family to go to college. I knew Maci had wanted to go to college too. She was just as smart. All of us were, but Maci had put us first by making a commitment to take care of us. While she did graduate from high school and earned her diploma, she also busted her butt working many hours to keep a roof over our heads and food on the table.
That was why as soon as I could work, I did. I started waitressing at a local diner right after I turned sixteen. I became like Maci, determined to do my part. This particular night, we had taken the time to celebrate. These last couple of years had been hard living without any parents. It had been just us girls looking out for each other. I had already graduated high school that past spring and was excited for the next chapter of my life starting tonight. “So, Maci what is the plan tonight?” I asked glancing over at her.
“Well, Jordan is bringing some of his boys with him tonight and some of our home girls are also on the way. The plan is just to hang out tonight, have some food, and play some games,” Maci stated.
Jordan was Maci’s boyfriend of little over a year. They made a cute couple, but Maci always kept him at arm’s length. That wasn’t surprising, considering the way we’d grown up.
Our small apartment slowly started to fill up with guests. All our friends had come out dressed to impress. I was laughing at something Jordan had said when I felt someone grab me by the waist. I turned around and saw the guy who had been stirring a few emotions in me for the past two years. Not much had changed either. He was still fine as hell. His hair had waves with a low-cut fade. His smoky grey eyes were just as mesmerizing as that first night. His nose was wide and his lips were full. He also had a nice full, groomed beard that aligned the bottom of his face, running across his chin.
His closeness to me caused my body to catch on fire. His physique was stacked with muscles and ripped like a professional athlete. My eyes feasted on all the muscle groups he was offering. He reached out his hand as if he could sense I had been saving myself for this moment for him to take me and make me his.
“Happy Birthday, beautiful,” he said in a deep voice.
At that moment, I knew I was in love and I had been from the moment I first saw him two years ago, exactly on my sixteenth birthday. He was the guy in the corner of the room taking in everything through his grey eyes, reminding me that he was still here. I felt his dark skin warming me up with just one touch. He felt massive, like really huge and hung rubbing up against me.
“Aw, Me-Me, this is my boy, Chris. We used to hoop together back in high school. Chris, this is my girl’s sister you got your arm around,” Jordan said, laughing. “I guess I really didn’t need to introduce you two since y’all look all coupled up and shit right now.”
Chris turned to me and winked. “Nah, I guess not. I been watching shorty for a minute now,” he said without a hint of embarrassment. I could not contain the big smile on my face. There was no denying that his words didn’t affect me.
Just when I thought this attraction was just one-sided, he said some shit that has me melting. “Beautiful, can I have a minute of your time?”
“Yeah,” was all I could say.
Chris and I walked hand in hand outside. It happened to be a nice night to enjoy even though the summer weather had settled in before the season officially started. There was a full moon out with an abundance of stars in the background.
Time seemed to stand still as we locked eyes. He smiled and gave off a small chuckle. “You know, beautiful, I had to get you to myself before anyone else came at you. You are looking really good tonight.”
I smiled, not knowing what else to say, but “Thank you.”
His eyes traveled down the length of my body. “I knew when I first saw you, you would be mine. I have been a very patient man. From what I can see, it has more than paid off.” Licking his lips, Chris eliminated the distance between us, bringing his body closer to mine.
Confused by his statement and a little off balance from the closeness, I asked what he meant.
He eyed me with disbelief written across his face. “It’s no secret I am a grown man, beautiful, and when I saw you, you were young. You weren’t quite grown and sexy as you are now. Even though it was only a couple of years, I wanted to give you that time to mature. You need to know I cannot wait another day to make you my woman.”
His statement shocked me. While I knew he was older than I was I did not know how old. Therefore, I had to ask.
“Chris how old are you?”
“I’m twenty-one,” he proceeded to tell me. “You know when I first saw you, I had just turned nineteen. I was hanging out on my block with my little brother and some of my boys. I remember laughing at some bullshit joke my brother was telling me and then I saw you walking by. I stopped laughing, hell everything around me seemed to stop,” he chuckled. “I wanted to run up and talk to you but my homeboy caught me staring and said you were jailbait; my heart was crushed. From that day forward I tried to get the picture of us being together out of my head and for a while, it worked. I moved on with my life but you were always there in the back of my mind.” He moved closer to where I was standing and placed my hand in his. “Then fate stepped in and here we are with nothing standing in our way.
Not wasting any more time, he leaned in and kissed me, slowly working his way into my mouth with his tongue. The feeling was incredible. I felt butterflies fluttering around in my stomach. His hands went around my waist, pulling me in closer to him. I could smell the scent of his cologne. He smelled extremely good like a fresh rain with a hint of vanilla and musk. I wrapped my arms around his neck. I had waited a remarkably long time for this moment. The feeling of wanting this man and then him wanting me back in return was amazing.
I was ready for him to take me as his right there on the spot. His kisses initiated a rough, hot, and burning passion within me. Subsequently, he turned those lustful kisses to soft nibbles on my lips, taking his time to lick the outline of my mouth before sucking on my plush bottom lip.
“Damn, girl,” he said taking a step back from me. Chris then took my hand and led me back to the party. I was not sure why he was pulling me back inside after such a mind-blowing kiss. All kinds of thoughts went swarming in my head, maybe the moment was not as magical for him as it was for me.
I guess that was what I got for believing in fairytales. I should have known better. My mom did not get a fairytale ending and we certainly never got treated like princesses growing up.
As we approached my sisters, Chris turned me around to face him. He cupped my chin. We made eye contact, my brown eyes locking in with his grey ones. “Beautiful, I have something I need to take care of. Believe me when I tell you if it wasn’t important, I would be right here by your side, making sure you have a good time.” With that, he gave me a quick kiss on the lips and walked away.
I watched him make his way to the door, admiring his form. Maci came and stood beside me. “Be careful with that one.”
I turned my face toward her. “Why would you say that?”
She rolled he
r eyes. “Because he’s a dope boy, Me-Me and, I don’t want you caught up in that lifestyle. Besides that, he is a ho! A big one might I add. He is always hooking up with every girl that looks his way.”
I crossed my arms over my chest. “Maci you don’t even know him.”
“No, but I know people who do. The streets talk, Me-Me and they have nothing good to say about Chris. Trust me, he and Jordan may be cool but Chris is nothing like Jordan. Chris is bad news and we’ve had enough of that to last us a lifetime.” I sat there and listened in disbelief. I was sure that Maci was looking out for me, telling me the truth as she’d heard it. But you couldn’t always believe the hype. Sometimes, the streets just talked. I refused to believe that Chris was anything but a gentleman. I would soon choke on my words.
3
At first, things were really good between Chris and me. We had many date nights. He would take me out to the movies, clubs, and various activities. He would always make sure I was well fed and had a good time. Then he began to change. He started to become controlling and holding back all of his affection. One evening, Chris and I decided we would chill at my apartment. Maci was at work and Maddi was studying at a friend’s house. I took a deep breath and got up to straddle Chris’ lap. I leaned in and started kissing his neck and behind his ear.
“Me-Me, what are you doing?” he asked.
“I want you,” I responded. He picked me up with his strong arms and then sat me down on the other end of the couch.
“When I decide for you to be mine in that way you will know it. Until then, stay in your lane, woman. I will lead us, not you.” The roughness in his tone shocked me. Chris had never talked to me like that. The minutes kept ticking by as we sat there in awkward silence. He looked at me with disdain evident on his face. “Don’t you see you are not some ho I wanna run my dick up in? You’re better than that. You’re wifey material and you up in here acting like a ho.”