by Tina Beckett
He moved closer and tipped her chin up. “About what I said all those years ago—”
“Don’t. Please.” Her whispered words shook.
“I just wanted to say I’m sorry.”
Shimmering green eyes looked into his, and she opened her mouth as if to say something before shaking her head. “You have nothing to be sorry for. We were both kids.”
Yes, they had been. He paused, then decided to ask a pivotal question. “Are we good?”
“Of course.” Her chin went up, and she pulled away. “Shall we go?”
Once outside his sister’s room, which was no longer in the maternity ward for the safety of the other new mothers, they donned surgical caps and gloves once again. Ava was sitting up in bed, a pillow pressed over her stomach, probably to ease the pain of the incision. She looked pale and drawn, but she smiled when she saw them. “Did you get to see her?”
“We did. She’s beautiful.”
“I didn’t get to hold her. Or even get a good look at her.”
Hollee smiled. “Well it’s a good thing I snapped a couple of pictures then, isn’t it?”
“You did?”
Ava said what he’d just thought. He hadn’t noticed her taking pictures.
“Of course.” She took her phone out of one of her pockets and punched a few buttons and then held it for Ava to see.
“Holy Moly! I did that?”
“You did indeed, honey.” Hollee started to touch her, before thinking better of it.
Ava looked up at him. “Being an uncle suits you. You should see your face.”
“What do you mean?”
“Come look.”
He wasn’t sure he wanted to, but to say no was bound to make both of them wonder why. So he went around to the other side of Holly and glanced at the images as she scrolled through them.
Hell. He looked like he was in love. Well, that’s because he was. That tiny creature was his niece. It was normal to have a goofy grin on his face.
“Too bad you caught my bad side.”
Their heads both came up at the same time. Ava spoke first. “Don’t say that. You look fine, doesn’t he, Hollee?”
He’d meant it as a joke, but evidently it fell flat. And he certainly didn’t want Hollee to feel trapped into making some banal comment about his scar. Again. So he held up his hands to show capitulation. “Okay, I’m sorry. I won’t say it again.”
It did seem kind of incongruous that a plastic surgeon wouldn’t have his own scars fixed or resurfaced. It would be easy enough to make them fade further into the background. But the reconstructions Clancy did were things that resulted from injuries or congenital conditions and he wanted his patients to love themselves, even if their after-surgery results weren’t that of an airbrushed model. Not that he was the greatest example of loving himself either. Jacob had given him a pointed reminder of that a few days after he’d kissed Hollee.
I’m not like you, Mr. Bigshot. I’m a one-woman kind of guy, and between you and me, I’m crazy about Hollee, so don’t go getting any ideas about adding her to your collection.
He’d never looked at himself that way, but evidently it was how Jacob—and maybe lots of other people—had seen him. It had been enough to make him pull back and put a stop to things with Hollee before he’d got in any deeper and ended up hurting her.
According to Ava, though, he’d ended up hurting her anyway. But, as he’d seen for himself, she’d recovered, and Jacob had gotten his wish.
Ava bent her head to the side, cracking her cervical joints. “They tell me that Jen-Jen is doing well.”
Despite her illness, her personality refused to be squashed. She’d always been a firebrand, but Clancy had been fiercely protective of her when they had been kids, even though she would have clobbered him if she’d known.
“Jen-Jen? Is that really what you’re going to call her?”
“How about Jenny J.? Or J.J.? No?” There was a happiness in her grin that he hadn’t seen in a while, despite the evidence of exhaustion in her face. Now wasn’t the time to approach her about her new daughter’s middle name. But he would have to make a point to tell her. And soon.
“I personally like Jen-Jen.”
“Hmm...” Her smile faded. “It’s still so sad when I think of Jacob as being gone forever.”
Hollee tucked her phone away, her head down, not looking at either of them.
“Yes, it is.” He shifted and decided to change the subject. “Any idea when the baby can come home?”
“She needs to gain some weight obviously, but her lungs are strong. I heard her cry before they rushed her away.” She shut her eyes and then looked at him. “I have to tell you it was the most beautiful sound I’ve heard in my life.”
“I can imagine. When we saw her, she seemed...content.” In fact, he’d been a little worried about how quiet she was, but Ava’s words made him feel better.
“She really is beautiful.” Hollee smiled, but this time it seemed a little forced.
It had to be hard hearing people talk about her late husband. Which was another reason he wanted to talk to Ava about the name, although he wasn’t sure why it mattered. It mattered to him, though. Jacob had betrayed Hollee in the worst possible way. A one-woman man? It seemed that had been a lie. The last thing he wanted was for his niece to bear the man’s name.
He took hold of one of his sister’s toes through the blanket and gave it a wiggle. “We’d better let you get some rest, but I’ll come see you tomorrow.” He was careful not to include Hollee in that. She could set up her own visitation schedule.
“And since I worked the night shift, I’d probably better go home and try to get some rest,” she said.
“Will you come back tomorrow too?”
“If you want me to.”
Ava nodded. “Of course I do. And about what I said earlier, when I was in the delivery room...” Her glance shot to him before moving back to Hollee. “I was just scared and wasn’t thinking straight.”
“Whatever it was, it couldn’t have been too important, because I can’t even remember you saying anything.”
“Good.” She lay back against her pillows, eyes closed.
“Do you need anything?” Hollee asked. “Water? Something to eat?”
“I’m just incredibly sleepy right now.”
“We’ll get out of your hair, then.” This time Hollee did touch her arm. Probably because she’d put her phone away and was about to shed her gloves. “Get some shut-eye now, because you’ll soon be taking care of that precious little girl.”
They left the room, and he couldn’t help but ask, “What did she say that she was so upset about?”
“She wasn’t quite coherent because of the fever. And since she doesn’t want me to remember, it’s probably just as well, don’t you think?”
“I guess so. Well, I’ll see you when I see you.”
“Yep. I’m off to dreamland.”
By herself. At least he assumed she would be. The thought stopped him. Maybe that’s why she seemed so uncomfortable whenever any reference to Jacob was made. She hadn’t remarried or she’d have a ring on. Or maybe not, since jewelry could harbor germs, or hold them against the skin, in the case of a ring.
He watched her walk away, realizing he had more questions than when he’d started working at the hospital. And despite the fact that it shouldn’t bother him, he was finding that it did. Very much. He wasn’t sure how to unravel that. Or if he should even try. The only thing he could do was avoid her as much as he could—until they boarded their bus and drove off into the sunset together. Along with about twenty other people and a whole lot of medical gear.
* * *
Ugh! Hollee could not believe it. She and Clancy had joked about giving their dogs a play date and a week later she spotted him at the dog park at exactly the same tim
e as her! Fortunately, he was some distance away and hadn’t seen her yet. He was talking to some woman who was standing way too close, her Afghan hound looking tall and elegant, much like her owner, who was almost as tall as Clancy. And the way the woman looked at him, laughing at something he said...
A sick feeling rolled around the pit of Hollee’s stomach as memories of the past flooded back. She guessed some things never changed. The nurses would probably also be fawning all over him soon enough.
Jacob had once joked that she’d dodged a bullet by being able to see through Clancy. Unfortunately, that hadn’t been the case. But there’d been no way she would have admitted that to her husband.
Could she bear watching him make the rounds at the hospital in a way that had nothing to do with patients?
She should just turn back around and head toward her car, but when she tried to tug Tommie in that direction, her dog planted her feet, head whipping around as if to say, What is this, human? A trick?
“No trick, sweet girl. Just a big old dose of self-preservation.”
Okay, if she couldn’t retreat, she could simply head toward an obscure corner of the park and wait there until he left. Surely she could keep Tommie occupied until then. She had a ball thrower and a tote bag that held an old soft quilt that her grandmother had made. She could just sit on the grass, ignoring Clancy and enjoying the day with no one being any the wiser. Except Clancy took out his phone and put it up to his ear, giving the woman with him an apologetic shrug, and the woman handed him something before heading on her way.
The sick feeling turned into something big and ugly. She would bet there was a phone number on that slip of paper.
Suddenly Gordy—wasn’t that his name?—jerked to the right. Clancy, who wasn’t expecting that or else was distracted by his call or the woman or both, careened sideways, landing right on his lean behind.
And it was lean. Just as lean as it had been ten years ago. Because, shamefully, she’d just looked.
Gordy broke free just as the woman and her fancy dog came back over and offered a hand to Clancy. Surprisingly, he didn’t accept it, just hefted himself back up, but it was too late to catch Gordy, who was moving across the grass, his pudgy little legs moving like pistons. Behind him trailed his leash.
“Damn.” The dog was headed in her direction!
About that time Clancy’s gaze met hers and he cocked his head, bending over to retrieve his phone and the paper. He then started moving...fast, giving his new friend a quick wave as he left her behind. Within ten strides he’d caught up with his dog, snagging his leash and putting a stop to his flight, such as it was.
She realized, despite what she’d just witnessed, she was grinning like a loon. Because of Gordy, she told herself. Not because the incident had foiled the woman’s attempt to hold Clancy’s attention.
He made his way toward them, not saying anything as he let his dog sniff Tommie. Thankfully her dog was as friendly as his seemed to be. “Looks like they hit it off,” he said. “I didn’t realize you came to this park.”
To his credit, he didn’t look behind him to see what had happened to the woman he’d been talking to. It looked like she’d given up, since she was now walking in the opposite direction.
“I do.” She was pretty sure that wasn’t something to be celebrated. “Is this the park closest to you?”
Unfortunately that came out sounding like an accusation, when she hadn’t really meant it to.
If he heard it, though, he didn’t acknowledge it. Instead, one corner of his mouth tilted up. “Yes, actually it is. I’ve been here a couple of times.”
That made her smile fade. Had he already met up with the same woman on other occasions?
She decided to hit neutral and change the direction of her thoughts. “How are Ava and the baby doing? Has she decided what to call her?”
Hollee was off today, and when she’d checked in on them yesterday, the pair had been doing well, with Ava finally being allowed to see her baby.
“Nope. So far J.J. and Jen-Jen are her favorites.” Clancy suddenly frowned and looked closely at something. “Is your dog’s eye okay? She’s squinting.”
Glancing down to check, she shook her head. “She’s actually missing that eye. Glaucoma,” she added.
“I thought glaucoma was treatable. She had the eye removed?”
“It manifests differently in dogs. She’d had it for a while before her former owners had it checked. It was too late to save her vision and was causing considerable pain. She’s adjusted quite well.” She reached down to ruffle Tommie’s fur. “We’re hoping to retain the sight in her other eye as long as possible.”
She hesitated, the tote on her shoulder starting to get heavy. “I brought a blanket—do you want to sit with us for a while?”
There was a noticeable pause on his part, then he lifted one shoulder, whether in irritation or a shrug, she wasn’t sure. “We don’t want to impose.”
The words made her heart ache. Maybe he wanted to go back and find that woman.
Okay, she needed to answer this carefully. “I noticed you were talking to someone. I’ll understand if you have other plans.”
“Nope. No plans at all. Anyway, I think our dogs are enjoying each other’s company.”
A huge rush of relief washed through her, although it was ridiculous. He might not want to go find Ms. Afghan Hound right this minute, but he could always call her later. Or someone else would come along. She could pretty much depend on that.
That was okay, though, because Hollee wasn’t interested in him like that. Not anymore, so there was no reason to sit here dwelling on it.
Why not just enjoy his company and not worry about the other stuff?
“I think so too. We can go over to one of the quieter areas, so they can stay out of everyone’s way, if that’s okay.”
“Yes. Thanks. Gordy and I didn’t think to bring anything to sit on.”
More likely, he didn’t feel the need to sit down, but since her legs had been feeling a little shaky ever since she’d spotted him, she’d better do something about it quickly.
That scar on his face drew her attention time and time again. He had to know she was staring at it. But it wasn’t out of pity. She was fascinated by the changes that had taken place in him since the time she’d known him. Ten years had layered his face with a cynicism that hadn’t been there before, the scars just adding to that feeling. It also added to that air of danger he’d carried with him back then. She’d used to fantasize about riding on that motorcycle of his, and she’d finally gotten her chance when he’d given her a lift home the night of the kiss. She’d been pressed tight to his back, her arms wrapped around his waist, and... God... He’d been lethal to her senses back then, and it seemed he still was. So much so that she’d done her best to avoid him in the days since little Jennifer’s birth.
The man was gorgeous. And seeing him interacting with his sister’s baby—the sheer devotion on his face—had opened a compartment in her brain that she’d thought was forever nailed shut. Why had he kissed her if he’d had no intention of asking her out on a date? Had he found her somehow inferior to the other girls he’d gone out with?
Her eyelids clamped closed for a second. That was a question to which there was no answer. And ultimately she’d chosen a different path. But one that hadn’t necessarily turned out much better. But seeing him interact with that woman a few minutes ago had been a good wake-up call about why she needed to be careful.
She forced her attention to her surroundings. “How about over to our right? It’s pretty empty.”
“Looks good.” He lifted the tote off her shoulder, fingers lightly brushing the side of her neck as he did so. A shiver erupted from that tiny contact, setting off her inner seismograph. It started frantically scribbling a warning that she’d better heed.
You need to sit down. Now.
She headed off in that direction, urging Tommie to follow. She did, but not without a shrill wail of protest. Hollee rolled her eyes.
“Not you too,” she muttered. “One of us has to keep our heads, girl. This is a man who doesn’t stick around for long. Don’t count on his dog being any different.”
A minute later they arrived at their destination, Clancy having to go more slowly in deference to Gordy’s shorter strides. “Could you hold him for a minute?”
She took the dog’s leash as he removed the quilt from the tote and tossed it open, allowing it to flutter toward the ground. Why did the man make everything look effortless? He took the ball and its thrower and set them on one corner. “That blanket looks handmade.”
“The quilt? It is. My grandmother made it. She used it for picnics and so did my mom. Now it’s mine.” She didn’t think it would last another generation, though, as it had been mended more than once. But she couldn’t bring herself to leave it in a cabinet unused. It just seemed wrong. And since she was an only child, and there were no prospects on the horizon, it didn’t look like there would be a next generation. A pang went through her.
“Nice.”
He took Gordy’s leash again and motioned for her to sit first. She did, smiling when Tommie immediately tried to plop in her lap. She’d never quite grasped the fact that she was a big dog. Bigger than laps were made to accommodate. But that hadn’t stopped her yet.
Clancy toed off his tennis shoes and sat his jeans-clad form on the other side of the quilt. Gordy didn’t try to crawl in his lap, she noted. He, evidently the better behaved of the two, sat beside his owner, his tail wagging back and forth.
Sucking down a chilly burst of air, but glad the weather had warmed up enough to allow this kind of outing in December, she allowed her muscles to finally relax now that her legs had stopped their quivering. “By January this will be impossible, so we’d better enjoy it while we can.”
He set Gordy’s leash on the quilt beside him. “Oh, I plan to enjoy every second I get.”