by Tina Beckett
What in the world...?
She opened the door and ushered him in. Not seeing him should have been a blessing, but instead... She’d missed him.
“Have you decided to take up gardening instead of medicine?”
He chuckled. “Not exactly. But since we’re in the first week of December, I thought we should at least have a tree.”
“A tree?”
Holding up his prize, he said, “Yep. Not an actual Christmas tree, since I couldn’t find anything that I wouldn’t need an ax to cut down, so I found a shrub instead.”
It did have the look of an evergreen, but on a smaller scale, dirt still clinging to the roots. “I don’t think anyone is going to realize it’s a Christmas tree if there’s nothing to go on it.”
“That’s where the fun comes in. I thought we could have the children come up with creative, free ways to decorate it. We could hold a contest, and the participants get one of the presents we brought in for sick kids. We could vote on a winner and give that child a bigger prize.”
It was a wonderful idea. She shouldn’t be surprised Clancy had thought up something like that. Not after witnessing the way he’d played the role of Santa. “I brought a small set of twinkle lights, but I think I’ve only turned them on once. Why don’t we use them for this instead?” She smiled. “Where are we going to put it?”
“How about outside the entrance to the clinic, since more kids will be able to see it there? I’ve already gotten permission from Matt, the organizer.”
She nodded. “I’m sure it’s something they didn’t give much thought to. We’ve been more worried about caring for people who are hurting.”
“There’s only so much we can do in a situation like this. It will take them a while to rebuild.”
“Some of the moms are planning on moving to where they have other relatives, if they can talk their husbands into it. I think a tree will make everyone feel better, at least for the short term.”
“I thought the same thing. Once you’re done here, can you help me get it up and get the word out about the contest? Or are you too tired?”
A few minutes ago she would have said yes, but seeing him left her energized in a way she didn’t want to analyze. “I’d love to help.”
She looked at him with eyes that saw past the gorgeous package to the man beneath. A man she had always known was there, but it was as if she was seeing him again for the first time without the emotions from their past. She didn’t know why he had done what he had, and she might never know, but surely people could change.
“Looks like that Santa costume rubbed off on you.”
He gave a half shrug. “I enjoyed being him more than I thought I would. I figured with this...” He haphazardly motioned to the left side of his face. “...I’d be the last person they’d want in that suit.”
A sharp twist of pain made her take a slow careful breath, blinking hard to keep her emotions in check. Maybe she wasn’t the only one who was insecure about who they were. Her fears were the result of two men she’d loved turning their backs on her. And maybe his insecurities were rooted in a fear that his scars changed who he was.
“Clance, you have to know that those make no difference. To anyone.”
They might to him, though, and she suspected there was a matching set of emotional scars that he carried inside him. And she was learning just how bitter a poison regret could be.
A question teetered on her tongue, and she was debating whether or not to ask him when he suddenly squeezed her hand and gave her a smile that warmed her to the core. “Thank you for that,” he said.
The awful clawing sensation she’d had a moment earlier subsided as he continued. “Now, let’s get this set up, so we can take a picture and put a flyer up on the door of the clinic.”
Her idea about going back to being friends suddenly didn’t seem quite so farfetched.
Unable to resist, she went up on tiptoe to kiss his cheek, startled when his index finger hooked under her chin. The quick impersonal touch she’d meant to give turned into something that was suddenly very personal as her lips touched his. She swallowed, her heart flipping a time or two, before she got it under control. Then they both pulled away and he gave her a glance that made her tingle all the way down to her toes.
She struggled to find her emotional balance, grabbing the first subject she could find, and hoping it would break the spell he’d cast over her.
“I think I know where we can put it,” she murmured.
“Excuse me?”
His voice had a strangled quality that made her laugh. And just like that, the moment was over.
“I was talking about the tree. There’s a five-gallon bucket we’ve been using as extra seating.”
All of a sudden the door slammed open and a man who was soaking wet stood there holding a child.
“I need help! Randy fell in the river. I don’t think he’s breathing.”
Clancy threw the tree to the side and grabbed the child from the man’s arms. “I’ve got him.”
He laid the boy, who couldn’t have been more than five, facedown on the table, pushing firmly on his back to drain any lake water. A gush came out, then another. He flipped him back over, feeling his neck as he did. “Slight pulse, no respiration. Come on, Randy, don’t do this.”
He acted like he knew this boy.
Hollee dragged the crash cart around and placed an Ambu bag over the child’s mouth, squeezing the bag to pump life-saving oxygen into his starved lungs. God, this town had had enough tragedy. She glanced at the man, who was shivering, his lips a dark shade of blue, a despair in his eyes that she’d seen before. He expected his son to die.
“Clance, can you take over for me for a second?”
He turned his head toward her, and when she nodded at the panic-stricken man, he nodded and moved to the boy’s head.
Going to a small metal closet, she grabbed a blanket and draped it over the father’s shoulders. The barn was heated, but it wasn’t airtight and there was always a draft coming in. He’d obviously gone into the lake after the boy and with the frigid temperatures outside, he was in danger of hypothermia.
The man started to shake his head and drop the cover behind him, but she grabbed it and looked him in the face. “Take it. We don’t need two patients.”
That must have convinced him because he wrapped the blanket around himself.
“What’s your name?” she asked.
“Samuel.”
“Do you know how long Randy was in the water, Samuel?”
“I don’t know. Maybe ten minutes. He was playing, gathering some twigs for my sister’s fireplace, while I went back to get the fish we’d caught. When I glanced over, he was in the water, the current carrying him downriver. He looked so scared. So very scared.” His voice caught, and he dragged a hand through his wet hair. “God, how could I have left him alone? I’ve already lost my wife and daughter. I can’t lose Randy.”
Her heart squeezed so hard it threatened to paralyze her. But she knew better than let it take control.
“You found him. Got him out of the water. That’s what counts.” She hesitated. “Let me go help him.”
She went back over to Clancy, her lungs catching for a second when she saw he was no longer working the mechanical respirator. Instead, he had his stethoscope out, listening to his chest. “He’s breathing on his own.”
Never had she heard five more beautiful words. “His heart?”
“Believe it or not, it’s strong. But I’m going to have him transported to Richland to be monitored for edema.”
Sometimes, after a drowning victim had been revived, irritation and inflammation could cause the lungs to fill with fluid, a secondary complication that could be almost as deadly as the original event.
“I agree.” She lowered her voice. “Do you know them?”
&n
bsp; “I talked to them right after we got off the bus.” He looked at her. “They’ve lost everything, Hollee.”
“I know. He told me.” She glanced back at the dad. “He said Randy was in the water for about ten minutes. In this case the frigid water probably helped slow tissue damage.”
“My thoughts too.”
The boy sputtered and opened his eyes, coughing for several seconds before trying to sit up. Hollee put a hand on his shoulder. “It’s okay, Randy. Your dad is right here.” She turned and motioned him over.
When the man reached the table, he practically fell onto it as he gathered his son in his arms, the blanket falling to the ground unheeded. As rough and tough as this man looked, his eyes told another story. “I don’t know how to thank you.”
Hollee draped the blanket back over him. “You just did.” It was true. Not very long ago she’d wondered if she was making a difference. Here was proof that she was. That Clancy was. That everyone who came through this town, hoping to do some good, was doing exactly that.
“I’m going to arrange transport,” Clancy said. They’d been flying critical patients out, but since Randy was stable for the moment, he’d probably be taken by car to the other hospital.
Within fifteen minutes, a woman brought Randy and his dad some dry clothes and coats, then she hugged the pair for a long time. The sister he’d talked about?
Randy was well enough to wave at them as he was carried to a waiting car.
Matt, their liaison from FEMA, saw the pair off and then turned to her and Clancy. “Looks like you two have had some excitement this afternoon.” He nodded at the tree lying in the corner. “And I’m taking it that that’s going to be the Christmas tree we talked about?”
“It is.”
Randy hadn’t been the only excitement. It was a good thing the man hadn’t walked in on their kiss or they might have been shipped home.
Why? Surely they’d had husband and wife teams here before. Except she and Clancy weren’t husband and wife. And she certainly didn’t want Kristen or anyone else from the hospital to get wind of what had happened in that exam room. It would give that picture of them in the newsletter a whole different connotation. And put paid to the idea that they didn’t know each other well.
The fact was they knew each other all too well.
Matt headed back out, and an hour later, they’d planted their little tree in the bucket which they’d then wrapped with a canvas tarp. With a bit of artful folding and tucking, it made a passable tree stand, especially after winding a red strip of elastic bandaging around it and tying the ends in a bow.
They then watered it and set it just outside the door. “All we need now are your lights. Are you sure you’re okay with us using them? You probably won’t get them back.”
“I’m sure. I knew there was a reason I wanted them so badly.”
He put his hands on his hips, fingers loosely perched on the lean bones in a way that made her mouth water. “Matt said we can invite the town’s kids and have a tree-lighting ceremony tomorrow night.”
Right now she would have agreed with almost anything he suggested. Not that it wasn’t a good idea. It was. And a little burst of excitement washed away the tiredness she’d felt just an hour earlier.
“The kids are going to love it.” Maybe every volunteer group did something to help celebrate the holidays, and maybe this was as much about giving this town a shot of hope as it was anything else. But whatever it was, they were about to add a little bit of fun to their last week and a half in Bender, and maybe leave a little piece of themselves behind in the process.
CHAPTER EIGHT
AT DUSK THE next day, a crowd of around a hundred people stood around the barn’s entrance. Hollee had agreed with Clancy that it was best to put the tree just outside the door. That way, all the children who made decorations could walk by and see it. It wasn’t a huge tree, but at almost five feet tall, it was big enough to fit a fair number of decorations. And the tree would carry a piece of many of Bender’s residents. It was another way to bring people together.
The rest of the staff loved the idea and were as excited as Hollee seemed to be. One of them had run to the nearest town and purchased a couple more strands of lights to add to Hollee’s. But they’d agreed that all the other decorations would be handmade by the children and their families.
Matt addressed the group. “Are you ready for Bender’s official Christmas tree lighting ceremony?”
“Ready!” The voices sounded in chorus, with some of the children clapping in excitement.
Clancy held the plug for the lights and waited for the other man to give the signal, very aware Hollee was standing off to the side. He didn’t want her way over there. He wanted her next to him, and that bothered him more than he cared to admit.
Because of that shared moment yesterday?
Randy was there in the front row along with his father, having been released from the hospital after a night of observation. They’d gotten back to Bender just an hour ago, just in time for the tree lighting. He’d been horrified when Samuel had carried his limp form into the hospital. The outcome could have been very different. Seeing him well enough to join in the festivities made him glance at Hollee, who nodded as if to say she’d noticed the pair.
Matt looked at him with a smile. “Let’s do it, then.”
In addition to being a FEMA doctor, Matt would be here for most of the rebuilding and to help direct future volunteer teams as they worked toward that goal so Clancy could always write and ask for updates or maybe even come back at a later date and help again.
Clancy plugged in the lights and the tree sprang to life. Three strands might have been a little overkill, but they did the job, sending a message to everyone that the season was about more than just a man in a red suit.
An “Ooh” went up from those who were in attendance. The multitude of colorful bulbs stood out in stark contrast to the darkening skies.
Too many lights or not, all he wanted was for this to bring a tiny bit of magic to these kids. Especially after what they’d gone through. How many children, like Randy, had lost members of their families? He couldn’t begin to imagine.
Matt had asked Clancy to explain what they wanted to do. So he asked the kids to get ready to use their imaginations.
“This tree needs decorations. Lots of them. But we don’t want to buy them. We want you to make them.” He paused to let that sink in. “So figure out something that you can draw or construct, using your own two hands. You can use materials you find around town. Recycled items would be even better. Don’t worry about how to hang your decorations on the tree, just bring them in, and we’ll figure that out.”
When several voices started talking all at once, he knew they’d done what they’d hoped to do: put a tiny bit of excitement back in the season.
He raised his hand to quiet the crowd for a moment. “Bring your projects back on Wednesday—that’s a week from today—and we’ll put them on the tree. Everyone who participates will get a little gift, and the most imaginative creation will pick a prize donated from our hospital in Arlington.”
Matt spoke up. “We’re also going to have a Christmas party for everyone in the main part of the barn afterward. Those who can, bring a dish of finger foods to share. Those who can’t, come anyway.”
The level of excitement rose, and Clancy smiled, glancing over at Hollee to see that she too was smiling. She gave him a quick thumbs-up sign, which made him swallow.
She’d talked about being friends, and yet when she’d gone to kiss him on the cheek he hadn’t been able to leave it at that. Damn. What was it about this woman that made him go sideways? Every time?
He’d toyed with telling her the truth about Jacob and seeing if that made it stop. But the time for that was long past. Why not let her go on thinking her husband had been a saint?
He hated it.
Because it turned out that his old friend had been anything but. But this wasn’t about him. Or about Jacob and his failings. It was about not hurting Hollee.
People filed through and shook their hands, thanking them for coming and for what they were doing, some of the kids already picking up twigs and tree limbs.
Hollee came over to him. “This was a great idea. Did you see Randy’s face?”
“I did. It’s good to see him back so soon.”
She wrapped her jacket around herself. “Yes, it is.”
“I like the idea of giving gifts out to the children who bring in ornaments.”
“I don’t think we have enough presents for every single child in town, even though the hospital added some useful items before we left, like fun cups and socks, et cetera. But it was the only way I could think of to make it fair.”
A lot in life was unfair and right now he was suddenly peering through the fog of the last ten years and wondering if he’d done the right thing. If he’d not stepped aside for Jacob, would he and Hollee have wound up together?
Hell, what damn good did it do to rehash this again and again? He and Hollee were not together. And from what she’d said after that incident in her kitchen, she still loved Jacob. He was who she’d chosen to be with, so the jerk had evidently been right. Clancy hadn’t deserved Hollee back then. But from what he’d seen at that hotel in Afghanistan, neither had Jacob.
Working with her here in Bender was proving to be an exercise in torture. He was dreaming about her at night and working with her during the day. A lethal combination.
Kristen came over to talk to Hollee, and he gratefully took that as his cue to leave. And that was fine with him, since he could use a nice cold beer. Or two or three. Bender had instituted a three-drink maximum at the local bar, partly to conserve their supplies and partly to keep the residents from trying to drown their troubles with booze.