At first it killed me to be reunited only to feel the impenetrable wall Fox kept around him, allowing only a select few in. Holden was one of them. But not me.
I don’t know why, but it’s clear he can’t stand me now. I know I’m not as impulsive thanks to Mom’s obsession with public image, but I’m not so different from the girl he used to know.
I brush my fingers over the bracelet I’ve worn forever, the braided leather soft from age. It has three stones Fox found for me on a beach in California the year before our lives changed.
Fox was my friend, too.
The bitterness that rises in the back of my throat tastes awful and I roll my stiff shoulders. Looks like I’m in for another extended yoga routine tonight to ease the ache in my body from being wound so tightly. My heart hasn’t gotten the memo, giving a hopeful flutter every time Fox is around. As if he’ll suddenly get over whatever reason he’s holding a grudge against me.
Lost cause, girl. Let that energy go because it ain’t manifesting no matter how hard we will it.
The truth stings, but I’ve learned to survive with this knife hanging over my head.
Fox was ripped from my life for ten years, then blew back into this town like a violent storm, fast and without warning. I’ve been holding my breath for over a year waiting for the damaging force to strike once he turned those scornful eyes on me. I used to know everything he wasn’t saying behind them, when he was my closest friend. But now? I don’t remember what I did to make him hate me so much and he won’t give me the chance to fix it.
“Are you okay?” Sam asks with a sweet, curious look, startling me out of my thoughts. He brushes his thumb over my knuckles, all shy and polite. The corner of his mouth hooks into a boyish smile that should make my heart pound, but I’ve got nothing. “You went all quiet on me, beautiful. Tell me more about the sights you want to see on your road trip after graduation.”
This thing with Sam Blake is…new. Really new. I don’t know if I’m ready to call him my official boyfriend yet, but he’s been asking me to hang out since the year started and I needed a distraction from the heavy weight of Fox’s stare constantly following me everywhere at school.
Rumors about me have spread like wildfire through this drama-thirsty school. Attaching myself to Sam quelled them. For now, at least.
We weren’t together when Fox and I—no. Nope. Not thinking about that.
Sam took me out to see a movie last weekend and did the whole pick me up at my house and shake Dad’s hand thing, like I’m some maiden in waiting. He’s been driving me to and from school and whenever he sees me in the hall he takes my hand and carries my books without asking. Sam is…nice. The kind of guy my parents love because he’s perfect on paper in every way. Good grades, good manners, good family.
I think I’m panic-dating him. Fox catches my eye again as we reach the parking lot and my body goes hot and cold all over at memories I need to forget. I really needed that distraction.
“Um, yeah, I’m great,” I spit out, turning a bubbly smile on Sam.
He returns it with a wider one, the corners of his brown eyes crinkling. The color isn’t as intense as Fox’s dark blue gaze, which is fathomless enough to drown in when his focus is locked on me.
Crap, what did he ask? Don’t read the freak out in my eyes.
“Zion,” I blurt once the question registers. “Sunrise yoga in every national park I can hit.”
There’s more to the cross-country road trip I’ve been dreaming of for years, but each time I talk about it in detail Sam’s eyes glaze over. My best friend Thea is the only person who cares as much as I do about my goal, and knows why I want to take the solo trip to spread my wings before I’m forced into a college my parents chose, just another part of the full life story they laid out for me as soon as I was born. The older I get, the more they try to control what I do with their expectations.
I wish I could close my eyes and go back to when I was a wild little girl who could climb trees and run free.
“Cool.” Sam pulls his key fob from his pocket and unlocks the souped up blue BMW X5 parked near where Fox is watching our approach. Sam glances at me and pushes his fingers through his sandy blond hair. “Are you sure you want to take the trip by yourself? It doesn’t sound safe. Maybe I can come with you. We can make it like an adventure. Just the two of us.”
We’re close enough now that Fox can hear our conversation. His vicious snort makes my stomach churn and my shoulders rigid.
“I’m sure. I can handle myself.” I offer Sam a tight smile. “Thanks though, that’s really sweet.”
“Bet.”
Sam is unaffected, or totally oblivious to how much inviting himself on my road trip annoyed me. Another cutting bark of amusement sounds from Fox.
Ignoring him, I get in the SUV while Sam puts both our bags in the back seat. I check my phone for messages, finding two new texts from Thea asking if I want to come by the bakery she’s opening in June. Her fiancé, Connor Bishop, bought the building for her as a surprise to help her achieve her dream. They’re both a year older than me, like Fox and my brother, but Fox was held back when he enrolled at Silver Lake High.
I tap out a quick reply to let her know I have volunteering and a yoga class to teach after that. Her response comes a minute later, all flowery emojis and cutesy hearts because my best friend is literal walking sunshine. My mouth curves in a fond grin at her positive energy. I smooth my fingers over the other bracelet I always wear, a brass bangle with a smooth round inlay of rose quartz. Its nurturing properties remind me of her.
Sam slides into the driver’s seat and reaches across to prop his hand on my headrest, absently playing with a lock of my light brown hair from my high ponytail. “Want to come to my place?” His voice dips lower into a flirty tone. “We can do our homework, then chill in my hot tub.”
The quick leer he flashes me almost has my eyebrows flying up. Wow, even the nice ones are obvious.
“Can’t.” I twitch my head so my hair slips through his grasp, playing it off like I’m still checking my phone. His hand drops to my leg instead, brushing my skirt up slightly and stirring another flash of irritation. “I have to be home by two so I can make it to the library on time for my volunteer shift. I don’t like to let the kids down, you know? They love story time.”
“Fine.”
I purse my lips and dart my gaze out the window, only to meet Fox’s piercing scowl a few feet away. My stomach gives another lurch of dread. He’s paying too much attention to my every move, but nothing has happened yet. That can only mean—
The engine makes an awful sputtering sound as Sam presses the ignition button.
“What the—” Sam’s brows pinch in confusion and he tries again.
The same thing happens and my teeth clench together. I can feel the intent press of Fox’s entire presence in my periphery, but I won’t give him the satisfaction of knowing he’s wrecking my day. Again.
When Sam tries the push start button a third time with no change, I force out a sigh. “I don’t think it’s going to start.”
“Yeah, I guess not.”
Sam seems at a loss for a moment, ruffling his hair. He gets out of the SUV and eyes the front grille like it might bite him. The parking lot is emptying out fast, leaving only us and the cars of students who have after school activities.
When I hop out to see if I can help, Fox is right there, a huge wall of leather, muscle, and heat blocking my path. I stand my ground, refusing to let him intimidate me. He gives me a cool stare through the thick messy dark brown fringe hanging over his forehead. His mouth curves into a vicious smirk when he catches me staring too long at his lips.
My cheeks heat. Stupid memories. I jerk my head toward the front of the BMW so I don’t have to face him or my momentary lapse into insanity. Or nostalgia? I haven’t decided yet, I just know what happened at that party has brought me nothing but torment no matter how good it felt to be wild and impulsive.
“Car troub
le?” Fox taunts with an edge of satisfaction in his deep voice. He doesn’t spare Sam an ounce of his attention. “What a shame. Those upmarket models really aren’t made to last.”
Sam’s head pops up from beneath the hood and he hesitates, taking in how close Fox is standing to me, almost keeping me prisoner against the side of the car. Like most of our classmates, he doesn’t mess with Fox. For every new rumor about me, there have been two for him. People love to talk, everything from speculating he has a different girl every night to mob ties that bankroll him. I heard someone yesterday morning whispering that he killed a man when I was walking to my freshly vandalized locker—thanks, Fox.
“Yeah. It won’t start.”
“I can take a look,” Fox offers with a merciless grin that highlights the hard-edged asshole he’s become. “I know my way around cars.”
My eyes narrow in suspicion. This was totally all him and he’s enjoying the spectacle. Goddamn it. Why is Fox so hellbent on torturing me?
“Thanks, man. Have at it.” Sam waves his hands with a relieved breath. “I don’t really know a lot about cars. My dad’s dealership handles all the maintenance.”
I shake my head. “It’s fine. We can figure it out. Or call a tow service.”
“But babe, you said you had to be home in time for your volunteering thing,” Sam points out.
Is Sam crazy? Fox is the reason the car won’t start, and he’s just going to let him back under the hood as easy as that?
The hate-filled look Fox gives me tells me he knows he’s won yet again.
He steps around to peer under the hood beside Sam, shouldering him out of the way and looking comfortable with the engine parts, like he belongs with his calloused fingers working out the mechanics. Now he has witnesses as he gets his fingerprints all over the engine, touching every single part and leaving us with no way to file a police report against him to prove he did it.
I edge closer, watching his long fingers carefully to make sure he doesn’t pull any tricks. There’s a scar on his knuckles, maybe from the work he does on his bike and cars, or maybe from fighting. Knowing I’m watching him, he shoots me a look through his lashes as he checks the connection of the clamps on the battery.
I huff. What if he decides to do something worse than drain the battery or steal spark plugs or whatever the fuck he pulled?
Fox’s parents died in a fatal car accident when I was eight and I don’t like the heartless gleam in his eyes as he works.
For the first time ever he scares me.
Does he hate me enough to really hurt me?
My heart gives a weary, aching thump. Tears sting my eyes and I touch the stones in my bracelet. I already know the answer to that.
Fox is all rough with sharp edges and an air of danger now. There’s no trace of the mischievous smiling boy I used to know, the one I loved getting into trouble with.
Ever since he came back, I thought he was still in there. He has to be, or so I’ve believed for a year.
Maybe everyone in this town is right. Fox Wilder is a black shadow. Mysterious, terrifying, and bad news to anyone who crosses him.
And somehow, I’m the person he hates the most.
Two
Fox
The sight of the missing spark plugs from the engine tips the corners of my mouth up in gratification.
Poor, perfect little Maisy Landry isn’t going anywhere without the parts sitting in the pocket of my leather jacket. The guy she’s started hanging out with doesn’t have a clue what I’ve done.
This is nothing. I could do so much worse to her than fuck with her idiot boyfriend’s car and fan the flames on the rumors about her by spray painting EASY on her locker. I should do worse.
It’s what she deserves. Liars always get what’s coming to them. And Maisy? The biggest liar of them all, prancing around the school like a goody-goody, fooling everyone with her act to hide what she’s really capable of.
I trusted this girl once. Once upon a time she was my best friend—I thought I could tell her anything and believed a promise mattered to her. I carry the guilt of the biggest mistake of my life every day, the poisonous weight infecting my veins.
“I think we can take it from here,” Maisy says tightly. “I’ll just call my dad to help us out.” She pushes out a breath and adds on as an afterthought, “Thanks.”
The fucking fakeness slides beneath my skin like needles. Her dad is the goddamn chief of police in Ridgeview, a position he didn’t earn on merit. Their lives have been so privileged after mine was torn apart. I almost release a bark of laughter at the thought of her dad helping with the car after what he’s done.
Richard and Jacqueline Landry are the reason I broke every piece of myself, stamping out any ounce of goodness to become the cold, vengeful monster I am now.
“Always running to your daddy, little daisy,” I sneer low enough that only she can hear me while her boyfriend is distracted with texting. “Think he can protect you from me? Try again.”
Maisy stiffens. Good, I hit her where it stings. I’ll always be able to get to her. There’s no escape from my wrath.
She should be glad I didn’t tamper with the brakes, like the fate my parents met ten years ago. As usual, thinking of them sends a sharp stab of emotion lancing through me, my throat burning with the old ache. My hands flex on the frame of the SUV and I drag in a breath through my nose. I hate Maisy and her whole family, but that would be too easy of an out for any of them.
If they’re gone, they can’t live with the misery like I have.
The thirst for revenge has driven my actions for the last decade as I bounced around from foster home to foster home before I found a new family of brothers just as broken as I am. Without their help, I wouldn’t be here. They took in an angry, grieving punk and shaped me into the darkness I shroud myself in so I fit in with them. When the world fucks with me, now I’m adept at hitting back harder with no mercy.
Every day I think of my promise to my parents’ ghosts. I want the Landrys to know what they’ve done to me when I rip apart their lives and make them face the truth of their actions.
Maisy hovers at the side of the BMW, attention locked on me. Those hazel eyes haunt my thoughts more than I care to admit. She doesn’t trust me anymore either, not after the things I’ve done to her. Well, she did beg for my fucking attention every minute since I got back to town, and now she has it.
Careful what you wish for.
“What’s wrong, crybaby?” I use the old nickname her brother and I taunted her with every chance I get. I love the way it makes her lip curl, but she refuses to let anyone at this school see the real Maisy she hides beneath the shiny good girl veneer. “Is this cutting into your time to ride your boyfriend’s dick before you fix your hair all prim and proper and go read to kids at the library? That’s the rumor going around about you.”
The one I had a hand in starting.
“How do you know I volunteer at the—” Maisy snaps her mouth shut, shock flickering on her face before she closes off her expression.
It doesn’t matter, I can still read every line of her body. She barely pays attention to the cookie-cutter dude who’s supposed to be her boyfriend as she squares off with me. For a second, I can’t help the way my heart thuds. The fire in her expression is a small glimpse of the girl who was my entire world.
“You know what, Fox? Never mind, I don’t care. You can get fucked, asshole.” There’s a steel in her tone that makes my pulse pick up. Was I waiting for her to fight me back? A rush of the forbidden desire I shouldn’t feel shoots through me as she continues. “No matter what you do to me, I’m not going to be afraid of you.”
My teeth clench. Keep telling yourself that.
“Whoa, beautiful.” Her boyfriend isn’t glued to his phone anymore. His name is something with a B, but I don’t give a shit. It’s unimportant to me. The wholesome vibe is condescending as fuck while he looks at Maisy in surprise for the bite in her tone. “That’s not like you.”
Maisy’s mouth tightens and a harsh sigh rushes out when she reins herself back behind her mask. Everyone around here looks at her and expects a sweet, well-behaved girl. They have no idea who she really is, but soon they will.
“If you were paying attention instead of checking your Instagram for likes, you’d know he deserves it,” she mutters with a frown.
An echo of the memory of her nails digging into my skin as she panted for more tingles my nerve endings. I left my marks all over her not that long ago. The marks can fade, but she can’t erase me.
There’s no way this guy knows how to touch her to drive her wild, but that’s her problem. I won’t touch her again. It was just another way to show her what she’ll never have while covering my tracks at the party so no one caught the real reason I was there.
As I stare at her, battling the thoughts of the way she smelled pressed against me, I see another hint of the girl I thought I knew. The only one I’ve ever wanted, but I can’t fucking have anymore because she betrayed me by breaking her promise. That girl is gone and all that’s left standing in front of me is a liar. Anger thunders through me as I cut off the memory of the sounds she made.
Maisy Landry isn’t my friend anymore. I’m the demon she should run from. She means nothing to me other than the weak link in her family that I’m going to break. I can’t forget that.
Pushing back from the engine, I drop the pretense of helping. “Guess you’re screwed. Sucks to be you.”
“Wait, you seriously can’t help?” Boyfriend-with-a-B-name calls as I turn my back to head for my bike. The few people left in the lot give me a wide berth, too scared to get in my way. “Babe, did you have to piss him off? He could’ve fixed it.”
The side of my mouth kicks up and a snort escapes me. I don’t hang around for her answer, swinging a leg over the motorcycle parked nearby and slipping the helmet on. The growl of the engine drowns out all the sounds around me, clearing my head.
Savage Wilder: Dark New Adult High School Bully Romance (Sinners and Saints Book 4) Page 2