Maisy wrestles her hands up from the crush of my chest against her and puts one palm over my cheek as I devour her in a soul-wrecking kiss. The other buries in my hair. My heart beats hard as I try to tuck her back into it, where she used to belong. She kisses me back, writhing against me like she’s trying to climb into my body—or maybe draw my darkness into herself.
We kiss until we’re breathless. It’s pleasure and pain, teeth and tongue, and the wild sounds we both make. It’s beyond perfect.
The only thing I’m aware of is how my world rearranges. I’ve existed like everything is upside-down for so long, but Maisy sets it right side up again.
And it kills me, because I can’t have this.
In the end, I didn’t use the information I got from the Landry’s cook. I couldn’t risk it, unable to trust Maisy not to warn her parents or stay home from the mayor’s party to catch me. After kissing her, I ripped myself away and demanded she get in the car. Stunned, she listened for once, touching her lips. I drove her back to school in silence and left her by her brother’s car before peeling out of there like my tires were on fire.
The kiss has plagued me all week.
I’ve avoided the Silver Lake High campus, thrown myself into my search efforts, alternated between working in the garage and beating the hell out of my punching bag, and punishing my body with more reps than usual on the bench press until I collapsed into bed.
The days bleed together, but she still won’t get out of my head. The only saving grace of laying low is that whoever followed me hasn’t found the warehouse yet.
Sleep brings no relief, my dreams full of the kiss on repeat and more, so much fucking more that I can’t have. Old dreams that used to be all I wanted—a field of wildflowers, a white veil, and her glowing smile. Last night my subconscious trapped me in the bathroom from that party last month, only this time she wore her school uniform without underwear beneath her skirt and I fell to my knees to bury my face between her legs.
This world is too cruel, ripping my parents away and showing me exactly what I’ve always missed in Maisy.
The same damn girl who was my best friend and the catalyst to the destruction of my world.
She didn’t have to be perfect for me, but the way she fits against my body and responds to every touch calls me down to my fucking soul. I’ve never looked at another girl the same way I’m drawn to her. It’s something I can’t deny anymore—I want her. Period.
It’s only because of her social media I figure out she’s not even in Ridgeview. She’s in Paris for the weekend according to the photo of her and her redheaded friend in front of the Eiffel Tower. Her friend is in a flowing white dress and is flashing her ring finger. The caption reads the bestie tied the knot in the most romantic place in the world. I’ve been so wrapped up in my head, unable to stop thinking about her, that I didn’t even notice when she managed to skip town thanks to her friends sneaking her out. Bet her parents love that surprise, judging by the cryptic comment Holden left on her photo to enjoy the fun while it lasts.
After another brutal workout that leaves me numb, I strip out of my basketball shorts and grab a shower. The steam shrouds me and the water pounds over my head as I brace against the wall.
This shift in awareness has left me floundering in all my plans. There’s nothing else I’ve wanted for ten years than to see the Landrys stripped down to the bone, but now I’m hesitating. I can’t. I’m not giving this up. But realizing how much I want Maisy makes this harder.
I’m still pissed at her. She still broke a promise she made. Turned her back on our friendship. For so long that broken promise cut me deep.
Then the heavy-lidded look on her face after I tore away from the searing kiss floats to the surface.
Releasing a heavy sigh of resignation, I press my forehead to the tile and thump a fist against the wall to distract myself. Damn it. I’m so fucked.
I imagine her sweet floral and coconut scent, the way her skin tastes, and I’m a goddamn pathetic goner. Reaching down, I groan as I circle my fist around my erection. My cock swells as I remember how her tongue slid against mine with no hesitation, so fucking eager. If I’d kept kissing her, I would’ve slipped a hand beneath her skirt—no underwear again, I hope with a thrum of excitement racing down my spine—and found her pussy wet and glistening for me. Another rough sound passes my parted lips and my breathing grows heavy as I stroke my dick.
She’s not afraid of me and still runs headfirst into danger once she sets her mind to it. God, why does it make me so hard that she’s still defiant and wild?
Licking my lips, my eyelids fall to half mast as I stroke myself while the heat builds low in my gut. I picture everything at once, her on her knees until they’re red and raw while I fuck her face, her lithe body arched in pleasure as she rides me in the back seat of my Charger, twisting her around on her hands and knees as I take her from behind with that damn school skirt flipped up to reveal her ass begging for my palm to slap it mercilessly until she’s crying out, her flushed skin tender. I want Maisy every way my fantasies paint her.
“Fuck,” I bite out as I come, the orgasm rushing through me.
I stand there for a moment, watching my release swirl down the drain. My throat is thick when I swallow. The guilt is only a mild throb, unlike how it used to be in the times I’ve given into my weakness for her and allowed fantasies to take over. I shut off the water and get out, scrubbing my body with the towel until my skin feels raw, as if I could wipe away jerking off to thoughts of her. No matter how hard I drag the towel over myself, it doesn’t work.
Maisy Landry is branded on my fucking skin and she won’t be erased without a fight.
My phone rings once I’m dressed. It’s late on the east coast, but Colton and the rest of the Crows keep odd hours to carry out their misdeeds. I answer as I collapse on the couch, the apartment lit only by the dim glow of my laptop screen.
“Yeah?”
“Would it kill you to say hello?” Colt snarks.
“Probably.” His husky laughter sounds at my blunt tone. “What’s up?”
“No dice, they didn’t have plates to run.”
“Shit. Figures.”
“They’re professional for sure. They know the tricks to avoid CCTV and mask themselves when they can’t. I lost their route when I tried to track it.”
My fingers ball into a fist and my lip curls. Damn it. I need to figure out who was following me so I know what I’m dealing with now that someone is aware of my presence in Ridgeview.
“You’ll have to lure them out on purpose to find out who they are.”
“Or I’ll just keep following the money. They’ll keep coming out of the shadows to protect the empires they’ve built for themselves on the blood of others.”
Colt hums in agreement. I put the phone on speaker and set it on the coffee table next to the laptop. The browser window I left open makes me hesitate. It’s Maisy’s Instagram page. I scrub a hand over my mouth as anxiety digs its claws into me. It unsettles me that she made it out of town without me knowing about it.
“Did your alerts go off when Maisy flew to Paris?” I ask hoarsely, fighting back the weird feeling in my gut.
There’s a long pause. “No. She’s not in Ridgeview?”
“No. She went to Paris with her friends while they elope or some shit.”
Colt barks out a laugh and mutters, “Bishop. That suave little shit gives me a run for my money sometimes.”
Who the fuck is that? A vague memory of the cocky asshole who knew how to fight better than anyone in Holden’s amateur fight ring last year tugs at the back of my mind. I wait for Colton to elaborate, but he moves on, keyboard keys clacking faintly.
“Don’t worry about it. I’ll know when they’re back.”
The unease crowding my chest doesn’t go away. If people know I’m digging around to unravel the secrets of the elite and powerful in Ridgeview, they could know she was with me the other day. Even her last name won’t stop the greedy bastards
from making sure their pecking order remains intact. It doesn’t make sense, but I have to make sure she’s safe. I can’t drop everything here and fly out to France, but I have the connections to make it happen.
“Listen.” I rake my fingers through my damp hair. “I need another favor.”
“A favor.”
He drags it out, tone shifting from playful to something more serious. He’s going into crow mode, treating me like one of their clients instead of his foster brother. My chest tingles with awareness where the black bird is inked into my skin, perched on a skull and hidden in the design of the waves. The detached, calculating nature creeps into his chuckle when I sigh.
“Yes. I want you to use the resources at your disposal. You guys have the reach. I just want you to do what you can to make sure Maisy is watched and gets home unharmed.”
“Helping you while you’re in Ridgeview for your revenge is one thing, but outside of that, what you’re asking…” Colt trails off for a moment and clicks his tongue disapprovingly. “You know the rules, Foxy. Can’t break them, even for family.”
Annoyance flares. “Don’t call me Foxy, asswipe.” I tug on my hair. “Come on, Colt. I’ll owe you one again.”
“You sure you want to owe me more than once?” I can hear his smirk in his tone. “You know the price of favors owed in Thorne Point.”
A gruff sigh leaves me. “Yes.”
There’s another long pause, then Colt laughs. “Done. Your little flower is safe with me, brother.” A low, sinister voice filters over the line in the background. Wren Thorne, the ringleader of their group. “I’ve gotta go. You know how the big guy gets when he’s in a mood.”
We share a laugh and I picture Wren’s fierce scowl. He’s not someone to be messed with.
The anxiety fades away at last. I end the call and stare for long minutes at her social media pictures on the computer screen. There’s work to do, but I don’t move.
This is insane. I don’t understand why I have this urge when I still don’t fucking trust her. She’s a goddamn liar, just like her parents. Yet here I am, selling myself out to a group of psychos with skewed morals and a code of loyal brotherhood I know the consequences of in order to keep her safe.
Forcing out a breath, I drag both hands through my hair and stare at the industrial rafters overhead. When I turn over the idea of giving it all up, everything in me revolts. Not happening. I’ve spent too damn long wanting to know the truth about my parents’ deaths and I’m not done yet. Her parents are behind it and they have to be brought down.
Tracing my tongue over my lower lip, I nod slowly, mind made up.
I won’t stop, but...I’ll do what I can to protect Maisy from afar. I’ll stop focusing my efforts on taking her life apart. Separate her from my vendetta against her parents. I’ll quit bullying her at school. It’s all I’ll allow myself.
A hollow laugh escapes me at the weight lifting from my shoulders now that I’m acknowledging this. I can’t outrun it anymore, or bury myself in messing around with scrap metal and engine grease, or pretend what happens when I’m around her is something else than what it really is. What it’s always been.
For every minute I’ve spent hating her, I hate myself a little more because I’ve never been able to let her go.
The truth is, I never stopped loving her.
It’s existed beneath the surface all these years. I can’t cut her out of the hold she’s kept on my heart since we were kids. It’s why her betrayal sliced me open, hurt so much worse because I love her.
This damn thing I feel for her is still real, overwhelming and impossible to smother. Even my hatred is love for her, as fucked up as that is.
After the harrowing images my brain supplied of what could’ve happened if I didn’t lose that tail and how things would end if we were caught, I know that even if I’ve been willing to ruin her life, I won’t let anyone else do the same. I won’t be the reason she gets hurt because she’s impulsive and never learned to stay out of trouble.
The instinct to protect her is bone deep, woven into my being. She’s mine and no one else can have or hurt her. Only me.
It scares me that I feel so deeply for her—the good emotions and the bad.
I have to stay away from her, or the things I’ve bottled up beneath the hate and my grudge all these years will explode out of me. I won’t be able to control myself. The attention she’s been begging me for will consume her like an untamed fire.
I’m in love with Maisy, but I can’t ever trust her again. If I give her my trust, it opens my heart up to feel the agonizing pain of her betrayal once again.
Fifteen
Maisy
Once my whirlwind adventure in Paris to watch my best friend marry the man of her dreams ends, I face my front door with a sense of dread. Three days away from home was amazing. It was the trip of a lifetime, leaving my free-spirited, travel-hungry heart full. I made memories I’ll cherish forever. Yet even amidst the splendor of a foreign city, Fox and what I learned last weekend never left my mind for a second.
The frantic kiss, the car chase, his rough hands on me, and his bribe with Lana—all of it demanded my attention. Even while Thea and Connor were exchanging their vows and rings while Devlin officiated, the thoughts were there, luring my attention away from being present in the moment. I kind of hated myself for being a crappy friend during one of the most important milestones in my best friend’s life. We need to sort things out between us soon, or I’ll go crazy from feeling like I’m living a double life.
My lips tingle at the memory of Fox claiming my mouth. All this time I’ve been braced for his storm to impact me. My heart wasn’t prepared for what it would feel like when we finally collided.
He refused to kiss me for weeks, despite how he relentlessly took and took from me. Something broke and shifted at last. His walls are eroding and I have to slip inside before he builds them back up stronger than ever.
Staring down the door to the house, I clutch my bag tighter and breathe through the strong urge to turn around and go anywhere else in the world, as long as it gets me far away from this cage. But I can’t leave things unfinished with Fox.
Not after everything I’ve found out.
Not after that kiss gave me hope that he’s not out of my reach.
I’ve barely gotten past the security system and through the front door before the wall of judgement and anger hits me. My parents stand in the cold foyer staring me down. Holden sits on the staircase to watch over the mother of all lectures I can feel brewing. His light brown hair stands on end like he’s been running his fingers through it repeatedly. I meet Mom and Dad’s gazes and my heart gives a little stutter.
They’re furious.
Deep lines bracket Dad’s disappointed frown and Mom is so angry she’s become a statue. It’s a scary habit of hers to go as still as possible while her fury rises to the surface, pouring out of her in an unavoidable tirade when it crests.
“Hey guys,” I say, clutching the strap of my travel bag like a lifeline.
Silence. Absolute and impenetrable.
Oh shit.
The last time she was so mad she couldn’t speak was when I went camping and showed up late to a press conference for her company’s new research project without telling her. Not only did I show up late, I was still sweaty and wearing the red dust of the trail instead of the smart business casual outfit she ordered me to wear. There’s nothing Mom hates more than being embarrassed by my actions.
“Maisy Grace Landry,” Mom finally says when I begin to shift my weight.
It’s all she offers, making my name sound like a vicious curse. Dad pinches the bridge of his nose and takes over.
“What were you thinking?”
I blink. “I was thinking my friend invited me to his surprise elopement and I wasn’t missing out.”
“You couldn’t have waited until their actual wedding in September?” Dad grumbles.
“Of course not.” I narrow my eyes. It anno
ys me that they’ve never had close, genuine friendships in the last decade. They don’t understand what you do for your real friends anymore. “I can’t believe you’d ask me to skip my best friend’s wedding.”
Dad slashes his arm down, his voice rising. “And I can’t believe you’d think it’s okay to go gallivanting around the world without telling anyone.”
The hurt racing across my senses is blistering. I duck my head and ignore the stinging in my eyes.
“I’m eighteen,” I say in a low voice. “I don’t see the big deal.”
“You still can’t do things like this without asking permission, Maisy. I thought someone kidnapped you.” His expression turns haunted and I pull a face at his paranoia. “It’s unacceptable. I can’t prote—”
“Your road trip is officially off the table,” Mom cuts in, folding her arms. I look from Dad to her, trying to keep up with why he’d need to protect me, but the road trip steals my focus. “Your childish actions have proven you’re not a responsible adult.”
My chest rises and falls with each strained breath. “How?”
“Running away from home. Do you know how that makes me look?”
The force of my scoff shakes my upper body. “Are you fucking kidding me? I went out of town for the weekend. Let’s not alert the damn media over a vacation.”
Mom’s laugh drives ice into my veins. “You left the goddamn country, Maisy. Don’t be cute.”
“Guys.” Holden’s expression is troubled. “You can’t baby her forever. What’s the problem? She’s home safe. Isn’t that what matters?”
My throat grows thick with emotion for my brother standing up for me. We have our squabbles, but when it comes down to it, he’s got my back.
“Stay out of it, Holden,” Dad snaps. “This isn’t up for debate. She needs to learn.”
“What—that I’m expected to never experience life, just watch it from inside this glass bubble?” My voice is scratchy and the tears are falling freely now. Swiping angrily at my cheeks, I stare at them. I gesture to the security keypad on the wall above a video screen showing a grid of the house’s entry points. “What are you going to do when I have to go to college, move off campus to watch me to make sure I behave?”
Savage Wilder: Dark New Adult High School Bully Romance (Sinners and Saints Book 4) Page 13