by Onley James
Calder only uttered two words. “I quit.” Then he pressed end and tossed the phone aside, catching Robby’s mouth in a kiss. “If we’re going to do this, we’re going to do it my way. Understand?” Robby nodded eagerly. “I need you to trust me. Can you do that?”
“Yes. I trust you.”
Calder stared down at him for a long minute. “Fuck, you’re so sweet. I don’t know where you came from, because I don’t deserve you, but I’m glad you’re here. I need you to believe that.”
“I do.”
Calder may have just blown up his entire life, but he found it hard to care with Robby gazing up at him with those huge green eyes, swearing his trust with the solemnity of somebody swearing a lifelong vow. He kissed Robby’s forehead and then his eyelids, pushing a sweaty lock of hair off his face, before laying beside him. “Turn on your side. I want to look at you.”
Robby did as Calder asked, doing that lip biting thing that was always Calder’s undoing. His cock was already throbbing but there was no way he was rushing this. Calder rested his head on the pillow beside Robby’s, just looking at him as he ran a single finger along the curve of Robby’s hip and up the ridges of his spine up along his cheek and down again. With each pass his fingers drifted slightly lower, coasting over the generous swell of Robby’s ass, sliding up the cleft between his cheeks. Robby’s lashes fluttered, and he gave a contented sigh.
“Fuck, you really are so fucking beautiful,” Calder whispered, giving the boy an almost chaste kiss.
Robby smiled even as he looked at Calder with confusion. “What are we doing, exactly? Are you seducing me? ‘Cause I already said yes.”
Calder shook his head with a smirk. “I just want you relaxed.”
Robby buried half his face in the pillow, peeking out at Calder. “I just came my brains out. If I was any more relaxed, I’d be unconscious.”
Calder arched a brow before rolling away, kicking off his underwear that were still caught around his thighs before rifling through the bedside drawer, retrieving lube and a condom and setting them within reach. Even with only half his face revealed, Calder could see the moment the situation became real for Robby, his eyes going wide. “See, it’s okay to be nervous, but I do sort of know what I’m doing.”
Robby’s tone was salty as he muttered, “You’ve had enough experience.”
Calder gave him a playful swat on the butt, noting the way Robby’s pupils blew at the contact. He tucked that bit of information away to explore sometime later. “Listen here, sass mouth. You said you trusted me. Besides, isn’t this why you were so hellbent on putting yourself in my way? ‘Cause you thought I’d rob you of this pesky virginity?” Robby opened his mouth, his expression of denial almost comical. Calder shook his head. “Nope. Don’t try to deny it. You and the wonder twins are about as subtle as a mack truck.”
“Maybe at first,” Robby said.
Calder leaned in close, dragging his lips across Robby’s in a barely there kiss. “But not now?”
“No. Not now,” Robby whispered, deepening the kiss.
Calder continued his caresses as they kissed, addicted to the way Robby gasped and sighed and moaned into his mouth whenever Calder found a spot Robby liked. As his hands mapped the plains and angles of Robby’s body, Calder’s mouth wandered to his jaw, his ear, his neck, whispering once more everything that made Robby sexy in Calder’s eyes.
Robby’s kisses became needier, his sighs turning to groans of frustration. Any other time Calder would have grabbed him and thrown him down, burying himself deep inside, riding him rough and hard the way he’d fantasized about, but he wanted Robby’s first time to be everything he’d imagined it would be. If that meant Calder had the world’s worst case of blue balls, so be it.
But Robby was clearly losing patience as well. He was already hard again, and if he kept wiggling his hot little body like he was, it would be over before it started. Robby might have a twenty-one-year-old’s rebound time, but Calder didn’t.
Finally, Robby hooked his leg high on Calder’s hip, whining as their cocks slotted together, rocking against him frantically.
“You ready for more, angel?” Calder asked between kisses.
“Yes,” Robby moaned. “Please.”
“Fuck. I love when you say please.”
Calder picked up the lube, coating his fingers before tossing the bottle back onto the bed. He hitched Robby’s leg a little higher to slip a hand between the boy’s thighs. Calder kissed Robby once more as he slipped his fingers between his legs. Robby sucked in a startled breath as Calder massaged his hole. Robby whimpered into Calder’s mouth.
“You sure you want this, angel?” Calder asked, playing at his entrance.
“Stop teasing me,” Robby whispered, burying his face in the crook of Calder’s shoulder.
Teasing him? Calder was just doing his best to keep from blowing his load before he even made it inside. He groaned as he pressed his finger into the tight heat of Robby’s body, working his way past the initial resistance. Robby clung to him, his blunt nails digging into Calder’s shoulders, panting against his skin.
“You okay, baby?”
“Yes, it doesn’t hurt.” Calder crooked his finger, feeling for the spongy gland just inside. He knew he found it when Robby gave a long, low moan. “Oh, God.”
Calder smiled against Robby’s cheek. “Yeah? Does that feel good?”
“Do it again,” Robby begged.
Calder did as Robby asked, loving the way he fell apart a little more with each stroke. He rocked himself back on Calder’s finger, chasing his own pleasure. He looked so beautiful with his eyes closed, his head thrown back, his teeth clenching his bottom lip like he was trying to keep from crying out. Calder could look at him forever.
When Calder withdrew his finger, he pressed back in with two, bearing down on Robby’s prostate and massaging it once again. His noises were killing Calder. He wanted to record every whine, whimper, and moan. It was the sexiest thing he’d ever heard. There was no artifice, no fake enthusiasm. Robby was just himself and he wasn’t hiding a thing from Calder. When Robby wanted more, he tried to take it, fucking himself back on Calder’s fingers wantonly.
“I want more. I want you now. I’m ready,” Robby mumbled against Calder’s throat.
“I’ll decide when you’re ready. You’ve never done this before. Just let me take care of you, okay?” Robby gave a petulant whine that made Calder smile. “You can pout all you want, angel. I think it’s sexy.” Robby blushed, ducking his head at Calder’s words. “Think you can take another finger?”
“I could probably take a tractor trailer back there by now,” Robby grumbled.
“That’s the spirit,” Calder said around a laugh.
His amusement died abruptly when Robby hissed in pain as Calder slipped a third finger inside. “Shh, just relax, baby. Just relax and let me inside.”
Robby whimpered, his lips seeking Calder’s as he worked his fingers in slowly, waiting for Robby to adjust to the invasion. He kissed Calder like it could take away his discomfort. Hell, maybe it did somehow. Soon, Robby was once again working himself back on Calder’s three fingers. “Come on. I need more. Please, I’m ready already. Please, Calder. I want you inside me. I want you to fuck me. Please.”
Calder’s heart squeezed in his chest at Robby’s cries. He’d had sex with so many people, but he couldn’t remember ever feeling this overwhelmed, not even when he’d lost his own virginity. “Yeah. Yeah, okay, baby. I got you.”
Calder gave Robby another quick kiss before he slipped his fingers free, wiping them on the already messy sheets.
Calder opened the condom and slipped it on, wondering if Robby could see his hands shaking in the dim lighting. Why did this feel like so much more than it was? He applied another heavy coat of lube to his cock, determined to make this as good for Robby as he could.
Once Calder had him back in his arms, he couldn’t help but say, “Last chance to back out, angel.”
&nb
sp; Robby gave him a look that almost made Calder laugh.
“Just shut up and fuck me already,” he groaned.
Calder couldn’t help but smile. He hiked Robby’s leg up higher, hooking the boy’s knee over his arm before lining himself up with Robby’s entrance and pressing forward. Robby hissed as Calder breached that first tight ring of muscle. “Just breathe, baby,” Calder whispered.
Robby didn’t answer out loud, just nodded and buried his face against Calder’s chest.
Calder entered him at an almost glacial pace, rocking his way in one inch at a time, holding him close, until he was finally buried within him. They both breathed hard. Calder did his best to try to regain some control but he was submerged in the most perfect heat and even the slightest movement sent jolts of stimulation along his spine until his whole body felt like a live wire.
“You okay, angel?” Calder whispered against his ear.
“I think so, yeah,” Robby said, voice muffled.
“Can you look at me?”
When Robby leaned back to glance up at him, his eyes were wet. “I’m okay. It’s just…a lot.”
Calder kissed him. It was a lot. For him too. He couldn’t recall ever wanting this level of intimacy with anybody he’d taken to bed before. Even this position, face to face, bodies entwined, was never something Calder would have done with anybody else.
“Are you okay?” Robby asked.
Calder smiled at him. “I think so. Yeah.”
Robby kissed him once more, his tongue slipping inside as he rocked himself back on Calder’s cock. Fuck. He was so tight. So perfect. Calder thrust his hips upward as Robby brought himself down, moaning into Calder’s mouth. “I want more.”
Calder laughed. He’d picked this position because it had allowed him to keep his thrusts shallow. He hadn’t expected Robby to be so needy his first time. Calder rolled the boy onto his back, catching his other leg over his elbow, allowing him to thrust deeper into him. “Is this what you need?”
Robby’s eyes rolled back as Calder worked his hips faster, thrusting deeper into the most perfect soft heat. “Yes. Oh, fuck. Harder.”
Jesus. Calder may have just created a monster. He loved it. He gave him what he asked for, slinging his hips faster, canting Robby’s hips so each thrust was brushing against that tiny bundle of nerves that had all kinds of curse words falling from the boy’s lips. “Oh, fuck, Calder. Keep doing that. Oh, fucking fuck. How does that feel so good?”
Calder growled at the sound of his name on Robby’s lips. All thoughts and worries disappeared, replaced by instinct and need. Calder wouldn’t last much longer. Giving Robby what he begged for was driving Calder closer and closer to the edge of his own release. The boy’s cock was hard again, trapped between their sweat slick bodies.
He captured his lips in a sloppy kiss, breathing the words into his open mouth. “You hard again, baby? You wanna come?”
“Yes, yes, yes,” Robby chanted, gripping the pillow behind his head.
“Touch yourself, get yourself off for me. I want to watch.” Calder sat back on his haunches, dragging Robby closer, practically bending him in half to drive into him. Robby wrapped his hand around his uncut cock, jerking himself in rhythm with Calder’s thrusts. “Oh, fuck. Yeah. That’s it. God, you’re so fucking sexy. Make yourself feel good, angel.”
Robby came hard with a hoarse shout, painting his release across his belly and chest. That was really all it took. Two more thrusts and Calder was joining him, his whole body shaking as he fell over the edge.
Calder collapsed on top of him, both of them sweaty and breathing heavily. “Wow.”
“Yeah,” Robby panted.
Calder slipped free of Robby’s body, tying off the condom and tossing it into the trash can beside the bed. He draped himself over the boy, dropping his head onto Robby’s shoulder. “Are you okay?” he asked, still slightly winded.
Robby’s fingers tangled in Calder’s sweaty hair. “Yeah. Are you?”
“I don’t know,” Calder answered honestly. “I think so.”
After a minute, Robby took a deep breath, his chest rising and falling beneath Calder’s cheek. “This didn’t have to mean anything. If that’s what you’re worried about,” he said, dejected.
Calder lifted his head to look at him. “What? That’s… That’s not what I meant. It meant something. You mean something to me. I just… I just don’t know what to do with that information right now. I don’t know how we fit into each other’s lives, but I know I don’t want you going anywhere. Can that be enough for now?”
Robby studied Calder like he wasn’t sure he could believe him or not. “Yeah. It’s enough. For now.”
“Let’s get cleaned up. I have cum drying in all the worst places.”
They showered quickly, knowing they only had a good fifteen minutes of hot water before they both got an ice bath. Once they finished showering, Robby was as wired as an over-caffeinated Pomeranian so Calder threw on sweatpants and an old t-shirt and sat on the lid of the toilet watching Robby blow dry his hair into the high swoopy hairstyle that would have made anybody else look like an exotic bird but on Robby looked hot. The boy made everything look sexy, even Calder’s old black and white polka-dot boxers paired with Wyatt’s red cropped hoodie. Maybe that’s why Calder let Robby talk him into drying his long hair until it hung tousled around his shoulders like he was in a hair care commercial.
They stripped the sheets together, throwing on another mismatched pair. With Robby too restless to sleep, Calder pulled up another old movie. The boy made Calder sit on the floor while he sat cross-legged on the mattress to braid Calder’s hair. It all felt so…domestic and intimate. Robby chatted about everything and nothing, and Calder found himself smiling as the boy sectioned out his hair and began to work each section into a plait.
“Where did you learn to do this?” Calder asked.
“I had to help my mom do the little ones' hair on the farm. I got really good at braiding because the women are never allowed to have their hair down.” Calder dropped a kiss on Robby’s knee, but he yanked Calder’s head back with a giggle. “Stop wiggling, you’re going to mess up all my hard work.”
Calder grinned. He would never get tired of that laugh. “Do you ever miss it? The farm? Was it all bad?”
Robby’s hands stopped. “I miss my siblings. I miss church. I really liked believing in something bigger than myself. Sometimes, I even miss my mom. But more than anything, I miss the idea of having a mom, like the kind of mom other people have where they care about your day and your happiness and they think nothing is good enough for you because you’re their baby. My mom was never like that. Kids were for working the land. Kids had to know their place. They should be seen and not heard. My mom hated me ‘cause I was always mouthy and asked too many questions.”
Calder laughed, glancing up at him. “You? I can’t believe it.”
Robby imitated Calder’s laugh mockingly before leaning down to lick his nose. “Haha. I wasn’t always shy. But my parents are really good at driving home a point.”
Calder’s chest ached at the implication. He couldn’t imagine the abuse Robby had likely endured in the name of his parents’ distorted version of God. “Why didn’t you ever go to church once you were out?”
Robby shrugged. “I don’t know. Once I came out of the closet, it was hard to know which churches would accept me without calling me a sinner or a sodomite.”
“They exist,” Calder promised.
“Did you ever go to church?”
Calder laughed, putting on his thickest Texan drawl. “Shit, son. My daddy used to say, ‘The Texas stadium has a hole in the roof so God could watch his favorite team play.’ Church is required if you live in the Lone Star State.”
“Did you like church?” Robby asked, setting down one section of hair and starting another.
“I mean, I liked it okay, I guess, but we stopped going after my sister disappeared. My dad got too weird for even our most fervent con
gregation members. He started talking about people kidnapping girls for satanic rituals as part of some conspiracy regarding the New World Order. After that, it all started to seem pretty ridiculous to me.”
Calder’s pulse jumped as Robby dropped a kiss on his head. “Calder?”
“Yeah, angel?”
“I think you should ask Linc to help you try to find your sister.”
A shock wave of adrenaline spiked through Calder’s body like he’d shoved a knife in the toaster. “I don’t know if I can open that part of my life back up again.”
“That’s just it. You closed it up but that wound is still there underneath. It’s infecting everything you do.”
Part of Calder knew Robby was right, that he needed to close the chapter on that part of his life for good, but that meant facing the truth. “I guess I’m just afraid to know for sure. It’s easier for me to believe that she somehow saved herself and has a new life and a new family than to face the much more likely scenario that she died from a drug overdose or at the hands of some thug.”
“Well, I’m living proof that your past always comes back to get you eventually.”
Calder snagged both of Robby’s hands and pulled him down, tilting his head back to kiss him. “I know you’re right. I do. I’ll talk to Webster about it tomorrow.”
“Whatever you find out, I’ll be here. As long as you want me around.”
The uncertainty in his voice killed Calder. But no matter how scared Robby was, he always said what he thought, consequences be damned. It was an insanely brave way to live. “Thanks, angel.”
“Well, as long as I don’t end up in prison,” Robby added, his voice quivering despite his attempt to make it sound like a joke.
Calder turned, getting up on his knees, so he was eye to eye with Robby. He cupped his face with both hands. “Believe me when I say this. I will never let you see the inside of a jail cell again. Not ever. Tell me you believe me.”