It was fitting, really. In the movies, it was always the courageous hero who got the girl. But when it came to Izzy, I’d been anything but.
I could have told her so many times. Why hadn’t I? There’d always been a reason. An excuse. Some explanation that I could use to convince myself that the truth could wait, and now…?
Well, now it was too late.
I’d blown it. And why? For my pride? Because I wanted some sort of external validation?
Man, how pathetic was that?
I’d been so desperate to have my work judged by its merit, but after a while it had become more than that. At some point it had stopped being about my precious ego and it had started to become all about Izzy.
It was suddenly so clear. In hindsight I could admit that I’d freakin’ loved the fact that she’d loved Leo. With that alter ego I’d been able to open up to her in a way I’d never been able to before and that had been…
Selfish.
So freakin’ selfish.
And now I’d missed my chance. I was too late.
Or...had I?
A tiny kernel of hope sparked somewhere deep within me. Even as I sank down onto my couch wanting nothing more than to wallow in my own despair, I felt the flame growing. Could it be love that fanned the fledgling flame?
I couldn’t think of any other explanation for why I was back on my feet and rushing out the door.
Maybe Izzy would never forgive me, but I at least had to try.
I owed her that much.
I owed her more…but begging for forgiveness would be a good place to start.
“You can’t go in there,” a frazzled-looking receptionist was saying, but I didn’t care. I barreled past her into the heart of the crowded office building.
“Oh my god! That’s Henry Landon,” someone shrieked.
“No way!” another hissed.
I heard the chaotic clicking of cellphone shutters as heads popped up and over the cubicles like prairie dogs sniffing out danger. Ignoring them I kept my attention on the name plaques on office doors. I was here to find Colin Davis and make him fix what he’d just destroyed. Namely my life and a chance with the girl of my dreams.
But as I rounded a corner only to be stopped by a dead end, I realized I hadn’t really thought this through.
Polarizing Pictures was a maze of cubicles and conference rooms, and I had no clue where I was going, but I wasn’t going to let that deter me. I was here and nothing was going to stop me from trying my damnedest to make things right. Even if I had to bust down every door in this building to find Colin and Izzy.
Luckily the commotion from my entrance saved me from having to do anything so dramatic. I didn’t think showing up at a film studio would be such a big deal, but apparently celebrities didn’t just drop by unannounced.
I heard my name whispered over and over again as people began popping out of the woodwork to see if the rumors were true.
By the time I returned down the dead-end hall every office door was open, and staring at me from the one closest to me…Izzy.
Her normally bright eyes hardened when she saw me, the lips I couldn’t stop dreaming about set in a hard line. And that’s when I knew…it was really over. I’d blown my chance, not just at making my script into a film with this studio—I doubt they’d want anything to do with me after this humiliating display—but more importantly, I’d blown things with Izzy.
I’d never seen this level of hurt on another person’s face before. Knowing I was the reason for it almost brought me to my knees. The only thing that kept me upright was the fact that Izzy was walking toward me. Not in a ‘I’m happy to see you’ sort of way…but still, at least she wasn’t running in the opposite direction.
Her delicate fingers closed firmly around my forearm as she spoke through clenched teeth. “Come with me.”
I followed her inside one of the conference rooms I’d just passed, relieved when she shut the door behind us. With the world momentarily at bay, a stifling silence settled around us.
I didn’t know what to say. Well that’s not true. It was more that I didn’t know how to start the conversation.
How did you tell someone you’d been lying to for months that everything you felt for them was real?
“Izzy, I—”
“Unless you’re about to tell me that it’s not true, that you’re not Leo Lang, I don’t want to hear it,” she said, cutting me off at the knees.
I held my hands out, begging her to listen. “I wish I could. More than anything I wish I could just go back and do this all over again, the right way, but—”
“But you can’t,” she replied bitterly. “You lied to me, Henry.”
“I know and I’m so sorry.” I took a step toward her, but she backed away.
“No,” she snapped, holding a shaking hand up to stop me from coming any closer. “You have no idea how humiliated I am.”
My chest constricted with the urgency to pull her into my arms and make her understand. “Izzy, you didn’t do anything wrong. I’m the one who’s embarrassed here.”
“You’re embarrassed? Ha! I told you—Leo, things I never would’ve said to you. You took advantage of my trust and my…” her voice cracked. “My god, I’m so stupid. Maybe everyone was right. I’m not cut out for this place.”
“Anyone who would say that doesn’t know you the way I do.”
Her eyes met mine, full of fire and hurt. “Really? Because it pretty much feels like LA has chewed me up and spit me out. And you don’t know me. You lost that privilege the moment you decided it was okay to lead me on.”
“Lead you on? Is that what you think I was doing?”
She widened her eyes as if the answer was obvious. “You couldn’t have been serious about me, about...us.”
I caught the flicker of pain in her eyes before her anger was back, and she was straightening her spine, her chin tilting up. “I mean, you couldn’t have thought this could go on forever, right?” Her voice rose a bit and I hated the strained sound of unshed tears. “Were you ever going to tell me the truth?”
“Of course I was going to tell you!” It was my turn to shout. “I just didn’t know how. I tried. I tried but the timing was never right and I didn’t have the words to explain—”
“This was some sort of game to you, right?” She spoke over me like she hadn’t heard a word I’d just said. “This is how the great Henry Landon gets his kicks, right? You’re so bored by having every girl in the known universe falling all over you that you have to go and play games with the naive new girl in town!”
The bitterness in her voice was almost as bad as the pain that clouded her eyes. Her tone was self-deprecating, her words filled with self-recrimination.
“A game…” I repeated the word stupidly with a shake of my head. “Is that really what you think this was?”
Izzy crossed her arms, her eyes narrowing as she cocked her head. “Why else would you go through the trouble to fake feelings for me?”
Anger overrode common sense as I closed the distance between us, backing Izzy to the wall. My face was so close to hers I could’ve kissed her. “First of all, there is nothing fake about my feelings for you. Secondly, I didn’t even know you when I put the name Leo Lang on my script. You know as well as anybody that I’d never get critical feedback with my real name attached.”
Izzy’s eyelashes fluttered as she looked up at me, hesitant belief in her big brown eyes.
It was the first chink in her armor, and I seized it. “Yeah, using a fake name was stupid, but I only did it so that I could have the chance to see if I could make it on my own, to prove to myself that I could build something I earned. Hurting you…” I tucked a loose strand of blonde hair behind her ear. “It was the last thing I ever wanted.”
Chapter Twenty-One
Izzy
Looking at the pain etched into Henry’s unforgettable blue eyes, I knew he was telling me the truth. But that didn’t mean I could forgive him. I certainly couldn’t
date him.
At this point I wasn’t even sure I could continue to work for him—that was, if Colin would even let me. But I pushed that unfortunate situation out of my head for the moment.
It was enough to remember how to breathe when I was this close to Henry.
Ducking under his arm, I gave myself room to digest his words as I paced the conference room. Sure, I kind of got it. He wanted to earn his role on merit, just like I did, but...but he’d lied! How could I ever trust him again?
I couldn’t, even if I wanted to.
Aware of his piercing blue eyes tracking my every move, I finally turned and faced him.
And I did want to. That was the worst part. My heart felt like it was coming apart at the seams, and yet I still wanted to trust him. To believe him when he said he hadn’t meant to hurt me.
Gah, I was such an idiot. Was it any wonder Colin stole my script right out from underneath me? He’d thought me too naive and foolish to make it in this industry…
And he was right.
Colin had fooled me. Henry had tricked me. Even Leo had betrayed me.
I pressed a hand to my mouth as I held back tears.
It was beyond ridiculous that I still thought of Leo and Henry as two different people, but there you had it. My stupid brain still didn’t want to acknowledge the fact that I’d just lost the guy I liked and my business partner in one blow.
“Izzy, please,” Henry begged as he moved even closer.
He was too close. I couldn’t breathe, let alone think.
“I promise you, my lies had nothing to do with you—”
“Then why am I the one who’s hurt?” I inhaled quickly and held my breath to staunch a tidal wave of tears.
I hadn’t cried in front of Colin when he’d hung up the phone while laughing at my shock. I sure as heck wouldn’t cry now.
“Izzy, let’s talk about this. I know you’re upset, but—”
“No.” I pushed his chest until he took a step back and for the first time in what felt like forever I could take a breath. My mind was still racing and my heart was still aching, but at least I could breathe.
And when I got home, yeah, then I would cry.
But until then…I was done playing the fool. “You and I are done,” I said, already walking toward the door. I was afraid to look back and see his face. I couldn’t stand to see his pain, and I couldn’t afford to crumble or weaken my resolve.
I’d come here to do a job, and I would do it.
“We’re working together, Iz, you can’t just walk away from that.” His voice was gruffer than I’d ever heard it before. “Izzy, you can’t just walk away from me.”
“Watch me.”
“Well, at least you made a hell of an exit,” Fallon said from the speakerphone.
“Mmmph.” I let out a muffled sound that was part growl, part sob and totally indicative of my current mental state.
I lay on our tattered couch, my emotions swinging like a pendulum between rage and sadness as I pushed away the tea that Carolina kept trying to force on me while Kendal worked on a sewing project beside me.
“I wish I could have seen the look on Colin’s face when you let him have it, too,” Becca said from the loveseat across from me, her expression eager as she waited to hear the rest of the story.
I winced and my roommates sighed and groaned around me.
“You didn't tear him a new one?” Ashley asked, clearly disappointed.
I shook my head. “I wanted to, but…” I sighed. “After I walked out on Henry like that I just...I didn’t have the heart.”
What I meant by that, of course, was that I’d been too close to tears. Another run-in with Colin would have been the end of me.
I needed to deal with Colin. I had to do it soon. But I hadn’t wanted to face him when I was one hiccup away from a full-scale meltdown.
“He’s such a despicable weasel,” Becca said.
“Which one?” Fallon asked from the phone.
We all looked to Becca and she shrugged. “Both of them.”
“I can’t believe Henry turned out to be such a liar,” Fallon said. “I am never watching Hermosa Beach again as long as I live.”
“I knew he seemed too good to be true,” Kendal muttered.
“I will kill him for you.” Carolina was staring off into space, the cup of tea abandoned on the end table.
I arched a brow at the others before asking, “Which one?”
She blinked, crossed her arms, and turned to me with the pout she’d no doubt one day become famous for. “Both of them.”
I choked on a laugh at her serious tone and that little snicker was all the rest of them needed to start laughing. Like a pinprick in a balloon, that little bit of levity seemed to ease a ton of tension from the room.
It did nothing to lighten my mood, but the others stopped treating me like a fragile, breakable egg and started rehashing what I’d told them, analyzing Henry’s every word and brainstorming to figure out how I should handle Colin.
I sat back and listened as Becca and Ashley argued over which was worse—Henry’s lies or Colin’s backstabbing.
It wasn’t much of a toss up for me. My dreams might have been crushed by Colin, but my heart was breaking over Henry.
I tried to tell myself that I’d find another way to make it in this business. There would be other scripts, there would be new opportunities.
But there wouldn’t be another Henry.
Or Leo, for that matter.
I sniffled and reached for the tea, more to cover up the fact that I was crying—again—than to quench any thirst.
I was going to miss Henry and Leo. And now that I knew the sensitive screenwriter I’d felt such a connection with was the same man who’d made my heart race and my head spin with his kisses and his sense of humor and his thoughtfulness…?
I gripped the teacup tightly as I fought another wave of homesickness.
I knew this feeling well. I’d been feeling it for months now, but I was usually homesick for my parents, or Fallon, or even the comfort of my old bed.
But this…
I’d never been homesick for a person I’d seen just hours before. But there you had it. I missed Henry already.
Man, I was pathetic.
“Here, take this.” Kendal threw her sewing project at me so quickly I just barely kept from dropping my tea in my lap. Instead, the cloth bundle fell on my thighs and I frowned down at it.
“What is it?”
Kendal’s sudden grin was wicked. “A voodoo doll to work out your anger.”
I stared at the makeshift doll for a full second before bursting out in a teary laugh at the surprisingly sweet—and moderately terrifying—present.
“Ooh, a voodoo doll? Show me.” Fallon had video-called me so I hung the limp doll over the screen of the phone and she let out a cackle.
“I love it,” Carolina declared. “He deserves to suffer.”
“Which one?” This came in unison from me, Fallon, Becca, and Ashley. We waited for the now expected response—both of them. But Kendal answered first, “Henry, obviously.”
I looked at her in surprise as her level gaze met mine. “Izzy already knows what she has to do about Colin.”
I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Kendal was right. My emotions might have gotten the best of me when it came to Henry, but Colin was another story altogether. But I was done being a doormat. I harnessed the pain I’d endured today and let it fuel my resolve.
Sitting a little taller, I faced my roommates. “There’s no way I’m letting him take my script from me.”
This was met by a ‘damn straight!’ from Fallon, a ruffle of my hair from Kendal and a high five between Becca and Ashley, while Carolina muttered something sinister sounding in Russian.
I smiled at them, these girls who’d become friends, letting their support buoy me. I was near tears again as their kindness tugged at my heartstrings. Luckily, Fallon noticed the quiver in my lower lip just before the
waterworks began.
“Group hug!” Fallon shouted, making me laugh before I dissolved into tears as my roommates swarmed, sweeping me into the fierce hug I so desperately needed.
Puffy eyes and sleepless night aside, I was as ready as I could be to face off with Colin the next day when I showed up at the office.
The whispers from Taylor and her crew didn’t even phase me as I marched past them and back to the office where Colin had pulled the rug out from under me.
If he thought I was going to walk away without a fight, he was sorely mistaken.
I didn’t knock, just barged in. He didn’t seem all that surprised to see me and his smirk was still as smug as it had been the day before.
“What can I do for you, Izzy?”
“I’m not giving up my project.”
He made a tsking sound as he shook his head. “I thought we’ve been through all this, Iz. You’re clearly not ready for this life.” He arched his brows. “I figured yesterday’s phone call clued you in to that.”
I planted my hands on my hips. “I might have been fooled by Henry Landon, but I’m the one who’s done all the work on this and you know it—”
“What I know doesn’t matter,” he said. “It’s my word versus yours, and no one cares about the word of an intern around here.” He shifted, leaning forward. “See, what you haven’t figured out yet is that in this office, what you do doesn’t matter nearly as much as who you know.”
I opened my mouth to argue, but he wasn’t done.
“Like Henry Landon, for instance.”
My mouth clamped shut at the mere mention of Henry’s name and my chest constricted painfully.
Would this ever not hurt?
Would I ever be able to hear his name and not want to cry?
I doubted it.
“The fact that he’s the one who wrote this…” Colin held his hands out. “You struck gold, Izzy. But I’m afraid it’s not your turn. You have to pay your dues around here and—”
“What about Bob Wentworth?” I spit it out so suddenly his head reared back in surprise.
I’d even surprised myself a little. But Colin’s words jogged my memory. He’d been talking about how it’s who you know, about how young and inexperienced I was and...it had just come to me.
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