by Bella Andre
But before Lola could respond, Rory bragged, “Zara sold out of her inventory this week after putting my face on her ads.”
The spark of sibling rivalry between them was palpable as Lola shot back, “I guarantee sales from my ads would crush yours.” She turned to Zara. “I’d love to model your frames. Just let me know when you need me.” She nodded toward the kitchen. “Now come into the kitchen and meet everyone.”
Zara was surprised by the way her heart began to race. She told herself it was simply because she’d been caught kissing Rory and then narrowly avoided a misstep with Lola. Though Rory had said people often felt overwhelmed by meeting his entire family for the first time, Zara had been sure that she would be totally fine with it.
As soon as they walked into the crowded kitchen, little Ruby grinned and held out her arms. “Zzzzz!”
“Hello, Zara.” Flynn handed Ruby into Zara’s waiting arms. “It’s nice to see you again so soon.”
“It’s great to see you again too, Flynn.” Zara nuzzled Ruby’s cheek, closing her eyes as she breathed in her clean baby smell.
“Mom, Dad,” Rory said, “this is Zara.”
“Thank you so much for inviting me to dinner tonight.”
“We’re very glad you’re here.” His mother wiped her hands on a kitchen towel, then came around the kitchen island and took Zara’s free hand in both of hers. “I’m Beth, and I’m not sure how we’ve managed to go this long without meeting each other, but it is our sincere pleasure to have you here tonight.”
“It sure is.” A man with salt-and-pepper hair took Zara’s hand and shook it. Zara’s heart skipped a beat as she realized she was looking at Rory thirty years from now. He was still handsome as sin, but his father’s strength was not in the least diminished by the years. “I’m Ethan.” He winked. “Welcome to the madhouse.”
It turned out that he wasn’t exaggerating. Over the course of the next few minutes, she met Rory’s brother Hudson, said hello to Turner, whom she’d met briefly at the warehouse earlier that year, gave Cassie and Ashley hugs, and even scratched behind the ears of the dog lying beneath the kitchen table. Meanwhile, Ruby never let go of her, almost as though the little girl thought she needed the support.
Fortunately, it was easy to be swept into the chatter, and laughter, and food being passed around. At one point or another, each of Beth’s children, her husband, Flynn—even the dog—asked Beth for an opinion, or assistance, or simply wanted her attention. She made it seem so effortless, juggling final dinner preparations along with the needs of her big family. And throughout, she went out of her way to include Zara in the conversation.
Everything Rory had told Zara about his mother made it clear just how much he loved and respected her. But now that Zara had finally met her, she realized it wasn’t just this meal that revolved around Beth Sullivan.
The entire family revolved around her.
“Uncle Rory! Uncle Hudson! Uncle Turner! Grandpa! Mr. Flynn!” Kevin skidded back into the room. “I’ve set up my magic table outside! Come on.” At the last second, Ashley’s son turned to Zara. “You can come too if you want.”
“Thanks,” she said with a smile. “How about I catch the second round?” She didn’t want to take Rory away from his time with the guys. And she wanted to get to know his mother and sisters better.
Rory dropped a kiss on the top of Zara’s head before he left.
Ashley looked fondly after her son as the men all followed him into the backyard, then sent Zara a wry smile. “Thank God Kevin has his uncles and grandpa to make up for his worthless burnout of a dad.”
Zara wasn’t sure what to say to that. Which Lola clearly picked up on, saying, “It isn’t Friday night dinner if at least one of us doesn’t air our dirty laundry.” She leaned forward with clear anticipation. “Got anything juicy to share with us, Zara?”
There was no way to keep her cheeks from flaming as Zara thought about all the extremely juicy things she and Rory had done together this week.
“Well, then…” Lola looked impressed. And also a little grossed out. “I’d ask you for details if it wasn’t my brother making you blush like that.”
“Lola!” Cassie called out her sister with a shake of her head. “It’s also not Friday night dinner,” she said to Zara, “if we don’t horribly embarrass someone.”
“True,” Lola agreed, “and I promise I’ll stop as soon as I tell you that I’m really glad Rory managed to convince you to go out with him.”
Ruby beat Zara to a reply by grunting and filling her diaper in a very impressive way. They all laughed as Cassie hurried over to take her into a back bedroom for a diaper change.
At last, Zara said to Lola, “That’s nice of you to say, even if I’m not sure exactly why you feel that way.”
“Well, first of all, your glasses are killer. I design textiles, and I hope you don’t mind if I steal the look for a new line of girls-with-glasses fabrics.”
Zara’s frames were oversized tortoiseshell today. She’d worn them for an extra confidence boost. “I’d be honored.”
“Great,” Lola said. And then, “Second, you’re clearly one of Ruby’s favorite people—and that kid has some serious BS radar. I was babysitting her this week, and when my smarmy studio landlord bent down to pretend he was interested in playing with her, she nearly walloped his head off with her stuffed elephant.”
“I would have liked to see that,” Zara said, grinning at the picture of Warrior Ruby protecting her aunt from one of the many guys who likely wanted only one thing from her.
“And the biggest reason,” Lola said, “is because I’ve never seen Rory look like this before—like he’s found the missing piece of his heart. I’m not sure I even thought he was capable of it.”
“It’s true,” Cassie agreed as she and Ruby returned to the kitchen. Rory’s sister was clearly a master of diaper changes to have done it that quickly. “Now that he’s with you, Rory is glowing so brightly with happiness he’s practically neon.”
Ashley, whom Zara noticed was quieter than her sisters, nodded. “Not that we’re saying any of this to put pressure on you not to dump him—”
“Speak for yourself,” Lola interjected. She looked totally serious as she said to Zara, “As much as I enjoy seeing Rory knocked off his pedestal from time to time, I really hope you’re going to stick around.”
At last, Beth stepped in. “Ashley, Lola, Cassie—since I’ll be opening up the café early tomorrow morning, and your brothers did the cooking last Friday night, I’m going to bow out now and let the three of you finish dinner.” Beth handed Zara a Dublin Irish Cocktail, which was a mixture of whiskey, sour apple schnapps, and cranberry juice, then led her to a couch on the patio just outside the kitchen door.
“I’m sorry about that.” Beth’s Irish accent made her voice seem especially gentle. At the same time, there was undeniable strength to her. “I’m afraid we’re all terribly excited about spending time with the woman who has stolen Rory’s heart.”
“Please, don’t apologize. I love the way everyone feels comfortable saying whatever’s on their mind. As I’m sure Rory will confirm for you, if he hasn’t already, that’s my usual MO too.”
“I’m glad to hear it. I’ve always known it would take a very strong woman to capture his heart.” Beth took a sip of her drink. “I understand that you make eyeglasses frames. It’s such a clever way to combine art and design with a practical purpose. Are the lovely pair you’re wearing one of your creations?”
“They are.” Zara was warmed by Beth’s compliment. It was exactly the way she would have wanted her own mother to feel about the work she poured her heart into. “I’ve been making frames for nearly eight years. The business has been a slow build—until just this week, when Rory volunteered to model frames for a new set of ads. Now I can’t keep them in stock.” She looked out into the backyard at the same moment he turned to look for her. She couldn’t keep from smiling as their eyes met. “As you can imagine, he’s
quite pleased with himself.”
“That sounds like my son,” Beth said, laughing. “I also understand that you’re a recent transplant to Bar Harbor?”
“Yes, I moved here a year ago from Camden, but I grew up in Kennebunkport.”
“Both lovely towns,” his mother remarked. “The breakwater beside Colony Beach is one of my favorite spots in Maine.”
It had been Zara and her mom’s special place. Though it was sheer coincidence for Beth to mention it, it wasn’t easy for Zara to respond in a normal voice. “Mine too.”
Just then, Lola stuck her head out of the kitchen door. “Mom, Ashley’s going to ruin the colcannon. She’s putting too many scallions in it.”
Ashley popped her head out next. “I’m the one who’s in the café every day. Lola doesn’t know what she’s talking about.”
“Yes, I do.”
“No, you don’t.”
Beth regarded her daughters with raised eyebrows. “I suggest the two of you resolve things before I get out The Forgiving Tree and make you sit together and read it.”
Both women groaned. “Anything but that,” Lola said at the same time as Ashley said, “Forget we said anything.”
Beth laughed as the door closed behind them. “All seven kids can recite that Berenstain Bears book by heart. As you can imagine, they’ve read it many, many times after getting in loads of scrapes when they were little. They all still get into plenty of scrapes, come to think of it. Of course, as their mum, I love them no matter what.”
It was Zara’s turn to respond…but the force of the blow to her heart was so sudden, and so enormous, that it was all she could do not to utter a keening cry of pain and double over.
And as the storm clouds came rushing back, thicker and darker than ever, Zara had the fleeting thought that she should have seen this coming. Not only was she still desperate to be forgiven for the last words she’d said to her mother—but sitting here with Beth, and watching her interact with her daughters, made Zara long with every piece of her heart for her own mother.
“Zara?” Beth’s voice seemed to be coming from a distance. “Is everything okay?” A hand covered hers. “Tell me what’s wrong, and I’ll do whatever I can to help.”
But Beth couldn’t help her. Not when Zara’s grief, and her guilty conscience, would forever steal her chances for true happiness.
Because even if the Sullivans weren’t as perfect as she’d once assumed, the more time she spent around Rory’s family, the more she longed for what they had.
Unwavering support.
Unconditional love.
And, most of all, a great mom whom they all clearly adored.
Zara had so desperately wanted to bury her head in the sand. And when she’d been floating on a love cloud with Rory, she’d managed to stuff the pain away for a little while. But Brittany had been right when she’d said that the longer she tried to pretend she hadn’t screwed up, the guiltier she ended up feeling.
Now, at the worst possible moment, with nearly Rory’s entire family present to witness Zara’s breakdown, she finally understood that she would never again be able to pretend the way she had for fifteen years. She’d never be able to stuff her guilt, her pain, her regrets, down deep. She’d never be able to go about her daily life without being stabbed in the chest by the painful memories.
Not when all it had taken was a few minutes with Rory’s mom for Zara to completely fall apart.
“I’m sorry.” She abruptly pulled away from Beth’s touch. “I need to go.”
The silly face Rory had asked her to warn him with if she started freaking out was the last thing on Zara’s mind as she jumped up from the outdoor couch, ran through the kitchen, then out the front door.
As she dashed through the square, a bolt of lightning struck the town hall’s tower out of a sky that had been blue only minutes before. By the time she reached her cottage, it was pouring. She fumbled for her keys, let herself in, and slammed the door shut behind her.
But though she was now safe from the storm raging outside, she’d never be safe from the one raging inside of her.
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
From the moment Zara walked into his parents’ kitchen, it was obvious to Rory just how much everyone in his family liked her. In fact, Turner and Hudson had both commented on how impressed they were that Rory had managed to snare her.
He felt exactly the same way—whatever lucky star he’d been under the day she walked into his life, he’d be forever grateful.
Just a few minutes ago, Rory had been pleased to see Zara chatting with his mother on the backyard patio. If anyone knew how to make sure his girlfriend felt welcome, it was Beth Sullivan. No one was immune to her Irish charm.
Still, Rory wished he and Zara had had a chance to talk more before coming to dinner tonight. The last thing he wanted was for her to feel like his family was coming on too strong—even if Zara had given him every assurance that she was well up to meeting most of them at once. Work had been crazy today, though. She had been slammed with orders, and he’d been working against the clock to finish the hope chest. He planned to give it to her later tonight, when they were alone.
Kevin had just finished showing them a new trick, saying, “Abracadabra!” with a flourish, when lightning flashed. The sky had been blue all day, but it wasn’t odd for Maine weather to turn on a dime.
Rain was starting to fall as they helped Kevin gather up his bag of tricks. But as he turned to head into the house, Rory was surprised to see his mother standing alone on the outdoor brick patio with an alarmed look on her face.
He was at her side a moment later. “What happened? Where’s Zara?”
“We were talking when she suddenly looked upset.” His mother couldn’t hide her concern. “Then she apologized and said she couldn’t stay.”
Rory’s chest tightened as the fear of losing Zara gripped him hard and wouldn’t let go. They’d declared their love for each other, though that didn’t automatically mean everything was perfect. He’d tried to convince himself that any hesitation on Zara’s part—like when he’d asked her to move in with him—was perfectly natural. After all, who wouldn’t be a little wary about things moving so fast?
But deep in his heart, he’d known that what was eating away at her was far bigger than just the speed, or unexpectedness, of their relationship.
“I’ve got to find her. I’ve got to get her to talk to me.”
His mother put a hand on his arm. “Please tell her that I didn’t mean to upset her in any way. And promise me you’ll remember that just because love isn’t always easy, that doesn’t mean it isn’t right.”
“I’m not going to give up on her,” he reassured his Mom. “Not when I know that Zara is the one I’ve been waiting for my whole life—and that I’m the one she’s been waiting for too.”
* * *
Though he could cover the distance to Zara’s cottage on foot in fifteen minutes, he drove to get there faster. Pure instinct had him taking the hope chest out of the backseat and jogging up her front walk. His heart was in his throat as he knocked on her door.
The good news was that she opened it immediately. The bad news was that there was not only no smile or snarky comment or kiss hello…there was no light in her eyes either.
Rory, frankly, had never imagined a world in which Zara’s spark blew out.
“You’re probably wondering why I left,” she said as she stepped aside to let him in out of the storm.
Even her voice was flat, and fear squeezed his chest as she walked over to the couch and sat. He sat too, putting the hope chest on the floor beside the coffee table, but she didn’t seem to notice it as she looked down at her clasped hands.
“I was so sure…” When she paused, he thought emotion might finally break through. But she quickly bottled it up. “I thought we could date each other without drama, then break up without problems or hurt feelings. But I was wrong.” She looked like she was reciting a page from the encyclopedia. “Our
relationship did go all pear-shaped. Just like you were worried it might.”
He put out his hand for hers, but she shifted just out of reach. His voice wasn’t entirely steady as he said, “Nothing has gone pear-shaped. I still love you, and you love me.” He would never believe otherwise. “Talk to me, Zara. Tell me what’s wrong. Even if you think I don’t want to hear it, you know you can always tell me the truth.”
She was silent for a long moment. Finally, she said, “I was supposed to help you get over what happened with your ex. But how can I do that when I’m just like her?”
Of all the things he’d thought she might say, this was nowhere on the list. For all that she was perfectly calm and detached, he was getting more riled by the second. “You’re nothing like Chelsea! Until the night we broke up, she did whatever I wanted. She thought the sun rose and set on me. She never argued with me about anything. She always played by the rules. You’re her exact opposite.”
“Actually,” Zara replied in that same too-calm voice, “we’re the same in the only way that counts. You didn’t break things off with her for two years because you knew how badly she needed your family. Well, that’s exactly how I feel.” She looked away, as though she couldn’t bear to face him. “Do you have any idea how much I want to be a part of your family? How much I want to spend time with your mom so that she can fill the hole inside of me that losing my mom left?” A tiny spark flickered in Zara’s eyes—but it came from emotions he never wanted to see on her face again. Shame. Guilt. Fear. “One day, when you want to break up with me—which we both know will happen sooner or later, because I’m still such a mess—you’ll think you need to let things linger the way you did with your previous girlfriends. Which is the opposite of everything I wanted for you when we embarked on this week together. I can’t do that to you, Rory.”
Everything she’d just said was gut-wrenching. And yet, unlike the night when she’d told him about her mom, she seemed totally shut down and matter-of-fact. Rory had always been able to get a rise out of her—whether good or bad. For the first time, he couldn’t get anything from her at all.