Swan Song

by Elizabeth B. Splaine

  Willy tilted his head in Hitler’s direction. “Who didn’t what?”

  “She chose not to love me!”

  “Ursula or Geli?”

  Hitler was no longer listening. “She had every opportunity to please me, and in each case, she chose to disappoint.”

  “Who are you talking about, Uncle?”

  Hitler shook his head as a confused look crossed his features.

  “Doing this will not bring Geli back!”

  Several moments passed. The only sounds were birdcalls that sounded strangely happy in this most awful of moments. She saw a tear trace Hitler’s cheek as he said, “Get on the train, Ursula.”

  “You’re destroying all that’s good in the world, Uncle. You know that? She’s not going!” Willy gripped Ursula’s wrist so tightly that she winced.

  She placed her hand on his. “It’s not your decision, Willy. It’s mine. I need to do this. So many bad things have happened because of me. People have died. I love you. I’ll always love you.” She embraced him, inhaling his scent as the children clambered down from the train. Ursula watched Addi gather the cast in a circle while Ilse ran towards their barracks, obviously overwhelmed with emotion.

  “Then I’m going with you,” Willy announced.

  Hitler’s eyes cleared. “Don’t be ridiculous, William.”

  Willy stepped toward Hitler. Rahm went to restrain him, but Hitler held up his hand to allow the approach. Willy leaned down to whisper in his ear. “If it were up to me, she would be walking into freedom through those iron gates. You can shoot me if you like, here in front of the International Red Cross and Danish authorities. But I’m getting on that train with Ursula.”

  60

  Hitler pursed his lips and narrowed his eyes. “I have a better idea, nephew. You and Ursula will not get on the train. You shall be driven. Commandant Rahm has overseen Ursula’s stay in Terezín. It’s only fitting that he see her to her new home.”

  He glanced at Wallenburg, ensuring that the Swedish diplomat was witnessing his magnanimous gesture. Then he faced Ursula.

  “Unfortunately, I won’t be accompanying you, as I must return to your sister. Although she wanted to attend today, of course I couldn’t allow it. You understand.” He smiled, enjoying the drama he had created.

  He turned to Rahm. “Commandant, you will take my personal car to ensure that you travel without being stopped. The more quickly you deliver your passengers, the better. Choose an officer to drive you.”

  “Ja, mein Führer!” Rahm turned to Edvard Svoboda. “Get the car!” he barked.

  “I want to go too.” All heads turned to Addi. She was staring at Ursula as she spoke. “I have no family. Ursula is my family. She promised me that when she left, I could go with her. Remember?”

  Ursula’s face crumpled. “Of course, I remember, but surely you don’t want to—”

  “I want to go with you.”

  Hitler regarded her for a moment, then laughed lightheartedly. He turned to Wallenburg and spoke loudly. “Who am I to ignore the desires of a young girl? As you wish, Fräulein.” He motioned her dismissal, then turned his attention to Willy. “Now go, William. I’ll call ahead so they know you’re coming. Be assured that a special greeting will await you.” His eyes danced as he spoke.

  Ursula turned to face Hans Krása and the children. “It’s been my honor working with each and every one of you.”

  Tears streamed down Krása’s face. “There will be songs written and sung about you, Ursula. On my honor.” His hand went to his heart. Ursula smiled, kissed her hand and threw it to the cast, then crossed to the car, where Rahm had opened the door for her.

  Willy turned to Wallenburg, who wore a confused expression. “Willy, what’s going on? What can I do? I could contact the—”

  Willy shook his head. “Listen, the last two years have taught me that I don’t want to live in a world without Ursula. I’m not sure exactly what we’ll be facing when we arrive at our destination, but at least we’ll be together. But you can do something for me.”

  “Name it.”

  “I wrote letters to several powerful people in case events unfolded in exactly this way. I’m not sure if you can reach President Roosevelt in time, but please try. And William Hearst and Churchill as well. They’ll all take your call. I know they will. Even if Ursula and I perish, at least there will be a record of my uncle’s actions. You’re a witness to the farce we were shown today, and what just transpired here. I’m counting on you.” Willy squeezed his shoulder.

  Wallenburg gave him a disbelieving look. “Things like this don’t just happen, Willy. I’m a diplomat, and you’re under diplomatic status when traveling with me. I’m not going to let them take you away to God knows where.”

  “I appreciate it, but I can’t let Ursula face her fate alone. That’s not who I am. It’ll be alright.”

  Wallenburg took in the scene. “It doesn’t look alright to me. None of it.”

  Willy smiled sadly. “It’s my choice to accompany Ursula. Please understand.”

  Wallenburg looked doubtful. Finally, he gripped Willy’s extended hand and shook it. “I’m going to raise hell, Willy. The world will know. Count on it.”

  As Willy walked toward the car, he saw Wallenburg talking to the confused Danes.

  Suddenly Ilse appeared, out of breath from running. “Can I please say good-bye to my friends?” Rahm stepped in front of her, but Hitler nodded to indicate she could approach. “I would like to give them a memento if that’s alright.”

  Unable to give up an opportunity of false kindness, Hitler nodded as he glanced at Wallenburg and the Danes. “Of course.”

  Ilse reached through the window and handed Ursula the cap the character Brundibár had worn in the show.

  Ursula cried as she accepted the gift. “Thank you for being my friend. I’ll never forget you, Ilse.”

  Ilse gazed at her intently. “You’re correct. You will never forget me. Take care of this special hat and what it represents. I’ll miss you and Addi.” They held hands until Svoboda started the engine and the car crept forward.

  As it gathered speed, Ursula turned around and held up her hand to Ilse, who waved back and pointed to her head. Ursula paused, wondering what the gesture meant. As Ilse faded away, Ursula settled into the seat she shared with Willy.

  61

  Ursula and Willy sat huddled in the back seat of Hitler’s bulletproof limousine. Addi sat next to them, staring out the window. Rahm positioned himself sideways in the front passenger seat so he could keep an eye on everyone in the car, including Edvard Svoboda, who wore a sour expression as he drove. Rahm assumed that he resented being chosen for the trip. The long drive to Auschwitz meant that he wouldn’t be home for dinner.

  Ursula looked at Willy’s profile, trying to memorize it. His gentle forehead developed into a strong Roman nose that sat above a full mouth. She stared at his ruby-red lips. “Why did you come with me, Willy?”

  “Because I can’t imagine my life without you.”

  “Even if it’s a short life?” she whispered.

  He squeezed her shoulder in response.

  Ursula closed her eyes and tried to imagine what awaited them. A sob sat at the base of her throat, but she knew she wouldn’t stop crying if she started, so she held it at bay. “I’m so grateful that you’re here.”

  “I’ve never stopped looking for you, Ursula. It’s been a winding road, but I’m here now, and I’m not going anywhere without you ever again.”

  Ursula glanced at Svoboda in the rearview mirror. His unreadable gaze alternated between the road and Addi. The Czech guard genuinely cared for her, and now he was required to chauffeur her to her demise. But Ursula knew that, regardless of his personal feelings, he was an obedient soldier and would follow orders. Her attention turned to Rahm, whose hard eyes flitted between her and W
illy. “You don’t have to whisper. You may speak openly. We all know what your future holds.”

  Ursula ignored him and thought about how much she’d changed during her captivity. She wanted to share so much with Willy, but she was content to curl into his side and inhale his intoxicating scent. She closed her eyes and ran her hands over the cap Ilse had given her. The wool felt rough under her fingers. “It was thoughtful of Ilse to give me this hat.”

  Addi took it and smiled. “Yes, it was. She did a beautiful job on the costumes, didn’t she?”

  Ursula nodded. “She did.”

  Ursula looked out the window, taking notice of how lustrous the trees appeared. The fat, green leaves against the bright blue sky reminded her of a painting she’d seen at an art gallery as a child. Her mind wandered to Otto, and she wondered how he would react when he heard the news of her death. She hoped that Anna would keep her word and take care of him. Otherwise, she feared he would die of a broken heart. Unless he had already—

  “How is Papa, Willy?”

  Willy turned to her and smiled. “He’s fine, Ursula. He misses you, but he’s fine.”

  She swallowed hard, determined not to cry. Her thoughts returned to Terezín, her makeshift home for what felt like an eternity. A wave of longing swept over her, for her real home, for normalcy, for a future denied. The feeling overwhelmed her, and she wanted to pour out all of her memories to Willy, to paint him a picture of daily life in the ghetto. Suddenly it became imperative that he understand why she’d made certain choices, and how they’d changed her for the better. How she’d become less selfish and more caring. How she’d finally come to understand that the whole was so much more important than the individual. How the importance of life came into stark focus when faced with death. How art could transcend a thousand bullets.

  She tamped down her instincts and forced herself to create a gestalt picture for him. “There are many wonderful people in Terezín, Willy, and so much culture. To think that many of them may not survive . . .” The emotion rushed forth and she was unable to stop it. Years of frustration, humiliation, and anger broke through the dam and tumbled down her red cheeks.

  Willy pulled her closer. “But those children will survive, Ursula. Because of you.”

  “Do you think your uncle will keep his word?”

  Ursula watched Willy as the fields of grass whizzed by. He breathed deeply. “Oddly, yes. He has a bizarre sense of loyalty, so he’ll keep his word to a woman who was willing to sacrifice herself for others. Even if it was you.” He kissed her head.

  Ursula glanced at Rahm. He glared openly; his anger at her brief happiness was palpable. She wondered whether he’d always been vindictive or whether Nazi ideology had created him. Then she dismissed him, with her eyes and her mind. She took Willy’s hand and turned her gaze outside.

  It had recently rained, making the grass a deep green punctuated by flashes of colorful flowers. The trees were in full bloom, and the sky was painted a light blue dotted by fat, puffy clouds. She had never seen such a beautiful sky. Her mind wandered to what lie ahead and she fought a rising panic. She closed her eyes and focused on the Brundibár cast. Knowing she had saved their lives calmed her somewhat. My sacrifice will not be in vain.

  She looked at Rahm again, who watched her intently, as if she might flutter away at any moment. Where could I go? she wondered. As she watched the world fly by, she contemplated opening the door and throwing herself out. Even if I managed not to kill myself, I wouldn’t know what to do next. Besides, Rahm would shoot me. She glanced at Willy and realized that she was only fantasizing. She could never leave him. Nevertheless, her eyes flitted to the door handle.

  Rahm smiled. “If you’re thinking of jumping, I wouldn’t recommend it. You would break something in the fall. Besides, if you were to leave us, Fräulein, I would shoot your friends.” His smile dropped and he abruptly turned around to face front.

  “How much do you want?”

  Rahm faced Willy. “What?”

  Willy’s jaw tightened. “How much will it take to let us go?”

  Rahm’s face was expressionless. Ursula tensed, wondering if they would be shot on the spot. She felt Addi take her hand and squeeze.

  “You are asking me if I would defy my Führer’s direct order and release you?”

  Willy shook his head. “I’m not asking if you would ignore his order. I’m asking how much money you require to free us.”

  Ursula met Svoboda’s large eyes in the mirror and saw his apprehension. She sensed what was coming but could do nothing to stop it. In a millisecond Rahm unholstered his revolver and pointed it at Willy. She screamed. Addi covered her face with the hat and bent forward in her seat.

  Rahm sneered. “You’re playing with words, Herr Hitler.”

  Willy glared at him and spoke evenly. “You’re playing with our lives, Herr Rahm. How much?”

  Ursula listened to Addi breathe in short bursts as she twisted the cap in her hands.

  Rahm stuck out his lips and placed his index finger on them. “Hmm. This is an interesting question, don’t you think, Svoboda?”

  Svoboda’s knuckles whitened as he tightened his grip on the wheel, but he remained silent.

  Ursula felt Addi stiffen, then felt pressure on her leg. She glanced down to find Addi pressing the hat into her lap. She absentmindedly grabbed it as she stared down the barrel of the pistol that was pointed at Willy’s face. As they rounded a curve in the road, Svoboda slammed his foot on the brake. All of them lurched forward as the car came to an abrupt, violent halt.

  62

  “Damn it!” Rahm said. “Move that obstruction, Svoboda. The ground is too moist. We can’t drive around it, lest we get stuck.”

  Svoboda exited the car and approached a huge branch that lay across the road. He pulled and dragged, but the branch moved only centimeters. “I need assistance,” he called out.

  Rahm turned to Willy. “We can continue our discussion once the branch has been removed. Go! Help him.” He turned to Ursula and Addi. “Do not even think of exiting this vehicle, or you’ll be shot on the spot.”

  Willy exited the car and approached Svoboda. Ursula and Addi watched as the two men negotiated the best way to gain some leverage against the branch.

  “Hurry up!” Rahm yelled from the car. He glanced at his watch.

  Willy and Svoboda took turns in various positions but were unsuccessful. Willy turned to the car. “If you want to keep going, Commandant, you need to help us.”

  Rahm sighed heavily and glanced at the back seat. “Don’t move.” He waved his gun in their direction, then exited the car.

  Addi turned quickly. “What did Ilse say about this hat, Ursula?”

  Ursula’s eyes were riveted to Willy. “What?”

  Addi grabbed her arm. “What did she say?”

  Ursula faced her. “She said, ‘Take care of this special hat and what it represents.’”

  “What do you think she meant by that?”

  Ursula resumed watching Willy while running the hat through her fingers. “I don’t know, Addi. Maybe it represents our teamwork, our ability to persevere under—” Ursula stopped short when she felt three small bumps. She looked at Addi, who smiled and nodded. Ursula glanced at the men who were slowly making progress on moving the branch. She turned the hat over and carefully tore open the underside seam, then shook it. Three glistening stones spilled into her palm.

  Addi gasped. “Oh, my God.”

  They looked at each other. “We can use these to bargain for our freedom,” Ursula said breathlessly.

  A loud burst punctuated the air. They looked up to see Rahm writhing on the ground. Svoboda stood above him, his pistol still aimed at the commandant. A shocked Willy stared at the two men, his hands in the air.

  Ursula and Addi jumped out of the car and rushed over. Rahm had been shot in the gut. Bloo
d oozed slowly across the rocky dirt road. He moaned, “You fucking idiot! You shot me!”

  Ursula turned to Svoboda. He seemed as surprised as Rahm.

  “Are you alright?” Ursula asked Willy.

  “Yes, yes. I’m fine,” Willy answered. He was shaking his head in disbelief. “I don’t understand . . . why did you . . .?”

  Addi finished Willy’s question. “Edvard, why did you do this?” She approached Svoboda slowly, her hands in front of her, palms up.

  He turned to her slowly, as if just realizing she was there. His eyes were wild and his head shook back and forth. “I could not abide him anymore. I can’t abide this any longer.” He swung the pistol wildly, causing the others to duck for fear of being shot. “This insanity. The killing. The torture. I can’t . . . I can’t . . .” He broke down sobbing. Addi crossed to him and gently removed the gun from his hand. She gave it to Ursula, then returned to Svoboda and embraced him.

  Ursula stared at the Walther in her hand. Its dull black color matched Rahm’s fathomless eyes. She bounced the gun up and down in her hand, testing its weight. It felt heavy. It felt like control. Power. Revenge.

  “Do it,” Rahm wheezed. His breaths were short, staccato. “I know you want to. Do it.”

  Ursula looked at Willy, whose kind eyes held empathy but not direction. She spoke very quietly. “I was violated. Many times. Not by him, but . . .” Ursula’s voice faltered as she gazed into the past. “It may as well have been him. They’re all the same.” She returned her focus to Rahm. “You’re all the same, you Nazis.”

  She heard Willy’s voice from somewhere far away. “It wasn’t your fault, Ursula.”

  She whirled to face him. “I made the choice, Willy. I let him do it!”

  Willy shook his head. “No, Ursula. In a situation where one person holds more power than the other, your ability to choose is taken away. It’s not your fault.”

  Rahm smirked. “Seidl said that you loved it.”

  Ursula pulled the trigger without hesitation. The gunshot resounded across the field yet was muffled to her ears. She watched Rahm’s head bounce in slow motion against the ground. His body twitched twice, then lay still. She looked at the gun, amazed at how easy it was to end a life. A sound drew her attention, and she lifted her gaze to the sky. A bluebird flew past, and she tracked its flight until it vanished. How does beauty flourish amidst chaos? Perhaps the chaos highlights the beauty. She realized she was smiling, and she wondered what that said about her. Willy was speaking but she couldn’t understand his words. She felt him remove the gun from her hand and guide her back to the car, where she picked at a small tear in the leather seat.