The man covered his face with his hand and pulled his wife closer. “She is. I can see her.”
And in a rush Ashley could feel the imitation leather seat beneath her, smell the mix of medicine and bleach in the hospital waiting room that summer day when Erin was killed. “You asked us how.”
Kari handed Theo and Alma each another tissue. Alma was still holding the framed photo of Vienna. It took a few seconds, but eventually the Browns turned to Ashley, waiting. As if they were desperate for anything that might keep them going.
“The answer is Jesus.” Ashley took a slow breath. “Because of Jesus, this isn’t the end. It’s farewell for now. But it’s never goodbye.”
On the other side of Alma, Kari nodded. “My dad always says Erin and her family are still alive. They just live in heaven now.”
The statement seemed to spark something in Theo. “I gave my life to Jesus a long time ago.” He smiled at Alma through his tears. “We both did, isn’t that right, baby?”
“Yes.” Alma dabbed the tissue at her eyes and nose. “Do you remember what the pastor said that day?”
“Of course.” Theo seemed a little stronger. Talk of eternity was clearly helping. “He said the odds were simple. Every one of us is going to die. Every single person. But the people who choose faith in Jesus would live forever in heaven.”
Ashley couldn’t see through the tears blurring her eyes. “You’ll see her again.”
“Yes.” Theo was still crying, still broken. “I just wish . . . it wasn’t so long. I . . .” He covered his face with his hand again. “I wanted to see that dance recital so bad.”
Kari put her arm around Alma and waited. Finally she looked at the Browns. “I believe she’ll have a window. And she’ll be dancing right along with her team that day.”
A minute later the pastor from Mt. Zion Church arrived. The man explained to Ashley and Kari that he’d known Vienna since she was born. Ashley and Kari chatted with him and then used the moment to say goodbye.
Out front near their cars, Ashley hugged her sister. The tears they’d held back when they were inside came now. “A hundred years goes by in a blink.” Ashley took a tissue from her purse and held it to her cheek. “But days like this, earth feels like eternity.”
Kari was shaking, her shoulders trembling despite the warm April afternoon. “What if Jessie hadn’t had homework? What if . . .”
“Shhh. Kari, don’t.” Ashley stepped back a bit and searched her sister’s eyes. “We can’t. The Lord gives and the Lord takes away. It wasn’t Jessie’s time.”
“I know.” Kari looked straight at her, all the way to her heart. “I just wish it hadn’t been Vienna’s time. Or Sarah Jane’s.” She closed her eyes for a long moment and then looked at Ashley again. “Sometimes it’s so hard.”
“Yes. It is.” Ashley could still picture their youngest sister, the light in her eyes and the way she loved her family.
“You were right what you said.” Kari stepped back and seemed to compose herself a little. “Only Jesus. Him on the cross. Him here with us now. So that death doesn’t have the final word.”
“Not for those who believe.” Ashley hugged her once more.
They stood outside their cars and made plans for later that night. Everyone was getting together for dinner at Ashley and Landon’s. They were all feeling a connection to the accident. Dinner had been Landon’s idea.
Because every minute of life was precious.
• • •
BASEBALL PRACTICE WAS called off because of the accident, so Cole had spent those two hours sitting with Elise in the bleachers, the sun on their faces. He wasn’t surprised at how the tragedy had affected her.
She wanted to keep her baby and she wanted Cole to stay with her through the process. It was something he had offered from the beginning and he would keep his promise. Just like his dad would if he were in this situation.
The problem was he had no idea how he would tell his parents.
In the week since Elise made the decision to have a young couple adopt her child, Cole’s plans had really started taking shape. The baseball coach at Liberty had contacted him about a walk-on tryout the third week of August, right before school started. Cole wasn’t sure he was talented enough to make the team.
But since the man wanted him to try, Cole had given his word. It would be a dream to play for Liberty. He had his classes picked out, his dorm in the Commons Two building reserved, and a plan that would take him through the next eight years.
Until today.
Now it was five o’clock and his family would arrive for dinner in the next half hour. His papa and Grandma Elaine, Aunt Brooke and Uncle Peter and their daughter Hayley, Aunt Kari and Uncle Ryan and their kids.
Including Jessie, who was still not okay.
Cole figured the love from everyone tonight would be good for her and sure enough, it was. They talked in quiet voices over dinner, sharing their thoughts about the two girls who had been killed. And remembering back when the disaster had been their own.
Amy, the only one of his aunt Erin’s kids who had survived, was more like a sister to Cole now. She finished her lasagna and looked at the others. “Maybe someday I can go visit Vienna’s parents.”
Cole’s mom smiled at Amy from across the table. “I think that would be very nice, sweetie.”
“Yes.” Amy nodded. The light in her eyes remained, even when everyone else seemed sad. “There’s a trick to getting through this.”
“A trick?” Their papa sat at the other end. He angled his head, all his attention on Amy.
“Yes.” She looked at him and then around the room. “I never think of them as dead.” Her eyes grew softer. “They’re alive. They just have a new address in heaven.”
Their papa nodded, slow and sure. He squinted, like Amy’s words had really made him think. “I like that. Just a new address.”
When the dinner was over, when everyone had hugged each other and promised to do an even better job of calling and texting and getting together, and when his siblings were upstairs getting ready for bed, Cole found his mom and dad in the kitchen.
“Mom . . . Dad?” He hesitated. How was he going to do this? He grabbed a quick breath. “Can . . . I talk to you for a minute?”
“Sure, honey.” His mother didn’t look too surprised. Today had been a lot. For all of them. She dried her hands on a towel and his dad did the same. They followed him to the living room and his parents took the sofa. Cole sat across from them in the recliner.
“What’s on your mind?” His dad turned so his back was against the sofa arm. “I bet today was hard.”
“It was.” Cole’s heart picked up speed, the sound of it louder than jet engines. Cole swallowed. “So . . . I talked to Elise for a few hours after school today.”
His mom was the first to show a flicker of concern. “How is she? Everything okay with the baby?”
“It is. Yes.” Cole linked his hands together and stared at them. He tried to imagine a wedding ring on his left hand before the end of the year and he could feel his palms getting damp. “Anyway. We talked about the accident, what happened to the two girls.”
They nodded, waiting.
“The thing is, everyone was talking about the girls’ mom and dad, and how no parent should have to say goodbye to their child so soon. So early.” He looked from his mom to his dad. “And . . . yeah, Elise’s mind started spinning.”
“About?” His mom looked a bit paler than before.
“Well . . . keeping the baby. Like she thought about what they said. How no parent should have to say goodbye to their child, and sometime today that became her. And she made a new decision.”
His mom and dad seemed to both hold their breath.
“Elise . . . she talked to her mom back in Louisiana and, well, after graduation her mom wants her to come back home and have the baby. Raise the baby.” The conversation felt like something from a dream. Like he could see himself talking, but nothing about it see
med real. He pushed on. “Her mom said I could have the guest room. That way I could help her with the baby and be there. Be a father for her child. But also be praying about whether Elise and I should get married this Christmas.”
There. He’d said it.
His dad slid to the edge of the sofa so he could look right into Cole’s eyes. At least it seemed that’s why he did it. “Are you saying that’s what Elise wants to do?”
Nothing about this felt logical. He was just a kid. Who was he fooling that this would be a good time to forget college and live in the guest room of a person he’d never met? Cole narrowed his eyes and tried to find the right words. “I’m saying . . . that’s what we both decided. That she can’t give up her baby, and I said I’d be there for her.”
“Cole.” His mother’s voice rose and she put her hand to her mouth. Like she was trying to quiet herself. But her tone was still louder than before. “If Elise is going home to have her baby, then she’ll be with her mother. She’ll have plenty of help.” She shook her head, like she couldn’t make sense of the situation. “How does that involve you?”
“Because.” Cole felt his own frustration rising. “Her baby has no father, so I’ll step in. That’s what I said I’d do.” He looked at his dad, then his mom. “Children need both parents.”
The silence was as awkward as anything Cole could remember. His dad cleared his throat. “Son . . . I deeply respect your heart on this issue. And I know you care about Elise.”
“I love her.” Cole thought maybe his answer came a little too quickly. Being defensive would only make him sound like a kid.
His mom shaded her eyes with her hand. She looked like she wasn’t sure whether to break down and cry or send him to his room. Cole turned to his dad and steeled himself for what was coming.
“Yes.” His dad’s voice was nothing but calm. “Okay, you love her. But, Son, that doesn’t make you a parent. It doesn’t mean you’re ready for marriage.” This wasn’t a lecture. The way his father spoke, Cole couldn’t help but listen with his head and his heart.
“Yes, sir.”
Next to him, his mother lowered her hand. She still didn’t say anything.
A long sigh came from his dad. “You and Elise have only known each other a few months. You’ve never even met her mother.” He leaned forward, elbows on his knees. “My advice? Stay in touch, visit her. Let her mom step into the helping role.” His father paused, not a stitch of judgment in his tone. “Take time to see if this is where God is leading or if it’s just you and Elise trying to make sense of a rough situation.”
Cole agreed with every detail, but there was something his dad didn’t seem to understand. “You’re right, Dad. Everything you said.” Cole worked the muscles in his jaw, frustrated. “But maybe all the logic in the world doesn’t stand up against doing the right thing. I offered to be there for her, and now that’s what she wants. She needs me.” He looked from his dad to his mother and back again. “You know?”
Again it was his dad who took the lead. “The right thing comes from God, not from us. No matter how it seems.” He breathed deep, stood and helped Cole to his feet. His dad hugged him and then looked into his eyes. “That’s all I have, Cole. Can we pray for you?”
Cole turned to his mom. “You want to pray?”
“Yes.” It was the first word she’d said in a while. She joined them and they formed a tight circle, arms around each other.
His dad led the prayer, asking for God’s wisdom and for Elise to know the right decision for the baby. Cole hugged each of his parents and then he went to his room. He had no choice but to take Elise’s side. After all, he had offered to skip school to be there for her and the baby. Today on the bleachers she’d made it clear. She was taking him up on his offer. And he would keep his promise.
Like he’d told his dad, staying with Elise was the right thing to do. He would be a man of honor, like his father. But the truth was building and growing inside him. What was he about to commit to? He must be crazy to think he should miss out on school and becoming a doctor. And the more he thought about it, the more he agreed completely with his dad. He understood his mom’s discouragement. The way she looked terrified about his future.
Because deep inside, Cole felt exactly the same way.
19
Lucy and Aaron were sitting in the attorney’s office again. It was clear from the expression on the man’s face the news wasn’t good.
Alan Green sighed as he took the seat across from them. “I told you teenage mothers are known to change their minds.” He opened a file in front of him. “I got a call from Elise yesterday. She says she’s sorry, but she wants to keep her baby.”
This moment had played out in Lucy’s nightmares since they’d heard about the child. Each time she wondered how she would react, whether she would start crying or run to the bathroom or just sit there. Numb to the entire process.
What she hadn’t expected was the freezing cold feeling working its way through her veins. Her arms and legs began to shiver and even with the sun streaming in from outside the lawyer’s office window, Lucy couldn’t seem to get warm.
Aaron must’ve noticed because he put his arm around her. “Okay . . . so she changed her mind.” His voice still held a fraction of hope. “What if she changes it again?”
“She could.” The attorney folded his hands and looked at them. “That’s why I called you in today.” He paused. “I have an idea.”
Lucy tried to focus while he explained his thoughts. First, he wanted them to sign a document acknowledging that they’d been informed about Elise changing her mind. “But we’re still the adoptive parents, if she decides to go through with it?” Aaron slid the signed paperwork back across the desk.
“Yes.” Mr. Green pulled another paper from the file. “Sign this and it will be noted that if she chooses to place her child after all, you still want to be the baby’s parents.”
It all felt like the worst possible scenario. Lucy’s head hurt. Why were they doing this? Taking time off work only to get their hearts broken? She looked at Aaron, and she knew what he was thinking. They’d already talked about this possibility. Even if Elise changed her mind, they wanted to be the adoptive parents on record until the last possible moment.
Even though it meant no other birth mother could choose their profile in the meantime.
Lucy hated the pain in Aaron’s expression. All this time he’d been the strong one, the guy praying in the nursery and counting on God to bring them a baby. But now he looked sick, like this final loss was too much for him. Lucy turned to the lawyer. She stopped shivering. God, let me be strong for my husband. This one time. Please.
She took a deep breath. “Mr. Green, my husband and I have discussed this. We are certain about this baby.” She forced a smile. “We still believe the child is supposed to be ours.” There. She’d done something positive. Which was only right after all the times Aaron had been strong for her.
The attorney’s countenance lifted some. “I like that attitude.” He sat a little higher in his chair. “It’s very possible.” He hesitated, as if he hadn’t planned on telling them what was coming. “She changed her mind because of the car accident the other day. The one where the two high school girls were killed. She thought maybe she was supposed to keep her baby because of that.”
“Hmmm.” Aaron looked upset. Again, his eyes told her he was struggling here, grasping to find the faith he’d come through the door with.
So the accident changed her mind? The reasoning made no sense to Lucy. But it didn’t have to. Ultimately this was Elise’s choice, no matter what prompted her decision. The wreck was tragic. Both girls had died on the scene.
Mr. Green was talking about the other part of his idea, how they needed a way to protect everyone if Elise did, in fact, choose adoption again.
Lucy liked this. A positive plan. Something the attorney wouldn’t have done if he didn’t believe there was at least a hope the adoption could still go through.
The attorney explained the situation. The process was simple. If Elise chose to place her baby with Aaron and Lucy, then she would still have the two-week window in which she could change her mind. “What we do in cases like this is pay the state for the baby to be placed in foster care. Just for the fourteen days.”
On the roller coaster that was infertility this was another drop. “So . . . even if Elise wants us to adopt her child”—Lucy heard the frustration in her voice—“we can’t bring the baby home until after two weeks?”
“It’s the best option for everyone.” Empathy colored the lawyer’s face. “I know it’s not ideal. But it gives legal protection to us all. It’s typical protocol when a birth mom changes her mind at some point in the process.”
Aaron looked pensive. “You’re saying you don’t want our hearts broken.” He sat a little straighter. “What if we’re willing to take the risk?”
“It isn’t just for you.” The attorney clearly wasn’t budging. “You have several parties at risk. You two, certainly. But also Elise and the baby. If her little one is placed with you from birth, she’ll feel pressured to go with the adoption. Or she could say she was forced into her decision.” He raised his brow. “When a birth mother feels backed into a corner, a judge could reverse the adoption. Even a year or two later.” He nodded. “It’s happened before.”
Another blow. Lucy folded her arms tight against her stomach. “So we don’t want her to have a reason to feel coerced. Is that it?”
“Exactly.” Mr. Green frowned. “Another party at risk is me. I have to do everything in my power to give the birth mother room to make the best decision for her and the baby. Those two weeks absolutely belong to the birth mother. Foster parents give the baby a neutral location, so whatever choice Elise makes will be binding.”
“Couldn’t she still try to get the baby back?” Aaron’s face looked pale.
Lucy stared at her hands. Neither of them had any idea about these possibilities. Private adoption was new to them. Even still, it wasn’t so different from the foster-adopt program in Atlanta, the one that had placed baby Rio with them and then taken him away again. Either way the pain was real.
Two Weeks: A Novel (The Baxter Family) Page 19