by Amelia Wilde
Hades looks up from his papers.
His eyes land on me like ice water, cold and assessing, and an answering heat sears through my lungs, down to my belly. My body doesn’t know how to react to him. My stomach twists, then relaxes. How can I be glad to see him? How can any part of me be glad to see him? His eyes travel slowly from the top of my head down to my still-bare toes, and when they meet mine again, the frigid stare has slipped away. It’s darker now. Hotter. The hairs on my arms stand on end.
“Go now.”
Genie nods and leaves, shutting the door behind her with a soft click that is the loudest sound on the planet.
I’m alone with him now. Heart hammering. Legs trembling. For all I’ve gone through, he still makes me shake and shiver. The skimpy dress isn’t helping. All the possible things he could do rush through my mind. Will the dress survive? Will I survive?
No matter how many times I tell myself it doesn’t matter, it still does.
Hades seems to take up every spare inch of the room. There isn’t a single breath that’s not suffused with him. And he smells...clean. Like leather and cinnamon and a lungful of cold air. I resist the urge to fold my hands over my chest. It won’t hide anything from him. It’ll only make him notice me more, and now that Genie’s done with me, there’s more to...notice.
A blush creeps across my cheeks.
“Stop staring and sit down.”
There’s more than one chair in his office, and that familiar panic crawls up the back of my spine and shakes the base of my neck. Move. He must mean the chair in front of his desk. Easy enough. Breathe. While I pad forward and take a seat, he lifts the phone from the tray and flicks it on, then puts it down on the edge of the desk closest to him.
He watches me for far longer than is necessary. He must be able to see me from where he sits, with the wide desk separating us and nothing else. I bite my lip. It’s strange that he’s not bending me over it, fisting his hand in my hair. Isn’t it? Or are things different in his fortress?
Hades curses low under his breath, narrowing his eyes. “Fuck. I can smell you from here.”
My stomach sinks and I curve forward, wanting to disappear underneath the desk, underneath the floor, and underneath the earth itself.
“I didn’t—I don’t—”
He leans forward. “It’s making it difficult to proceed with our task. Don’t hunch over like that, Persephone. It doesn’t suit you. If I want you humiliated, I’ll do a better job than that, I assure you.” A shake of his head, like he’s clearing his thoughts. “With a pussy like that, you’d think someone would have laid claim to you already. Not that I care about other people’s claims.” This last bit is soft, almost like he’s talking to himself. “It does explain why your mother kept you behind lock and key.”
“She wanted to protect me.” We cannot be talking about this. My face will superheat and I’ll never recover. The question hovers at the tip of my tongue, but I don’t dare ask what the task is. “She thought that men might want to hurt me.”
“I won’t hurt you.” A fleeting grin. “Very badly, at any rate.”
He will. He will. He already has. But it could get worse. That’s what he means, isn’t it?
“You don’t mean that.”
“I do. I won’t hurt you enough to kill you.” Hades glares at me from across the expanse of wood. “How much time are you planning to spend on these ridiculous questions?”
He sounds...different. Like something happened between when he handed me off to Genie and now. A mask. It reminds me of slipping on a mask.
“What’s our task?”
“Finally.” He pushes the stack of papers across to me, and I try to get control of my breath and my mind. “It’s time to formalize the terms of our agreement.”
“Formalize them?”
“With a written contract, yes.”
None of this makes any sense. He already has me here. He’s already...made me over to his specifications. He’s made it so clear that I’ll never leave. What difference could it make for me to sign a paper?
“But why?”
The corner of his mouth rises, and he shakes his head. “What kind of operation do you think I’ve built, sweetheart? One that runs on a person’s honor? Hardly. Everyone signs their name to their promises here.”
It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done, scanning the words on the papers. They all blur together, the letters switching places and taunting me. But there it is, in black and white. Decker’s name. My name. The offer I made. In the contract, he’s written submission without limits. I think of my terrified I’ll do anything and wonder how he could have described it like that. Submission without limits. I bite my lip and read it again, then again. It doesn’t sound like something I should want, on any level.
And yet.
If I signed this paper, I would never have to question what my life would be again. There would be no more making plans to get away. No more wondering if Decker could really hack life in the city or if I’d end up running back to my mother. No more worrying about running into dangerous men on the street. The most dangerous man would be here, right where I could see him at all times.
I crave it—that relief. My hands tremble around the paper. I’m not supposed to be this way. And I didn’t come here because I wanted someone to tell me what to do, I didn’t. I wanted to stop being told what to do. I wanted to be free, and now...
Now I don’t know what I want, with my skin still humming from all the contact and every part of me leaning closer in to get another breath of him. It doesn’t make sense. I want to scream.
But I swallow that scream and try again to order my thoughts.
“What happens if I don’t sign?”
A brief fantasy touches down like a lightning strike—a ride on the train, and then slipping back into my bedroom in time to pretend I’d only wandered out into the fields for the night. That I’d momentarily found myself wishing for air and space, so I went out and slept under the trees.
My mother would never buy it.
And Decker...
“You exchanged your life and submission for that useless fuck’s life,” Hades says simply. “If you decide not to keep your word, then I won’t keep mine.”
My heart stops, then starts again.
“Then—” Every thought is like a statue carved from stone. It takes forever for the shapes to be revealed. “Then he’s still alive?”
Hades shrugs. “I can’t be sure.”
“You don’t know what happened to him last night?”
“I told my people to take him where all trespassers go.” Hades sounds impatient, like I should have known all this in advance. Like someone should have taught me. “To work in the diamond mines until they’re no longer of use to me.”
I swallow a bitter fear. “So you’ll kill him eventually anyway.”
He flicks his eyes toward the ceiling. “The better question is, why do you care? Why would you want to run off with a man who blunders into situations with people like me? He’d last five minutes in the city. Maybe less, with you hanging off his arm.” Hades grins at me. “He’s lucky, in a way. I didn’t take you from him on a busy street corner. Very few people got to see him be so thoroughly put in his place.”
“So I have to sign this. And if I don’t sign, you’ll kill Decker, and you’ll kill me too.”
His mouth tightens. “I doubt I’d bother. If you don’t sign, I’ll release you.”
“What?” Shock tunnels through me, twisting itself up with confusion. And, somehow, disappointment. A sick, wrong disappointment. I shouldn’t want this man to touch me, not ever again. “You’ll take me home?”
“I’ll release you,” he says slowly, drawing out every word. “If you can make it down the mountain and follow the tracks back to your mother’s house, then I suppose you could go back there. But no one here will give you a lift.” Hades rubs a hand over his mouth. “In all likelihood, you’ll just die alone in the wilderness, wearing...exactl
y what you’re wearing right now.”
I read the papers again.
Hades taps his fingers on the desk. “I don’t offer renegotiation of this sort as a matter of course, Persephone. Don’t make me wait. If you’re going to take advantage of it, do it now.”
I feel...small. Unworthy of understanding this contract in my hand. It has clauses guaranteeing that I’ll be fed and clothed. It says he can discipline me at will. The more I read, the more I want to cry. Only I don’t know if I’m crying because there’s no way out of this or because I don’t want a way out of this. It doesn’t bother me as much as it should, his control over my body. It bothers me more knowing that I’m giving up on my dream. I’m giving up on freedom. There will be no trip to the New York Public Library. I won’t check out a thousand books on every subject under the sun. I won’t do anything but exactly what he commands.
Hades holds out a pen, thick and black and shiny. “Make your choice.”
Why is he doing this? It—it was almost easier when he didn’t give me one. Now I’m confronted with all of it again. Decker. My mother. My own body, betraying me. The cruelest, most beautiful man I’ve ever seen sits across his desk from me, watching with ice in his eyes. I squeeze my eyes closed and force myself to picture it. Being thrown out onto the mountain in bare feet, the rocks cutting into my flesh. The dull snap of Decker’s neck, if he’s still alive, and his body falling to the floor. My mother’s wrath. A pointless dream.
Everything I’ve done will be for nothing.
“I don’t want to belong to you,” I tell him. This might be the last moment I can say this.
He smiles. “Too late.”
“Give me the pen,” I whisper.
As I reach for it, I glance up into Hades’ face one more time and catch an expression I’d never thought I’d see—relief. He narrows his eyes and it disappears. Relief? What could he have to be relieved about? And what would it have to do with me?
I don’t ask any questions. I know better than that. I just take the pen and sign my name.
It’s done.
14
Persephone
The moment I put the papers back on the table, everything changes.
Hades stands, towering over me, and leans down to put his own signature below mine. It’s a manly scrawl that runs over mine in places, as if he doesn’t really care where mine ends and his begins.
“They’re ready,” he calls. The man must’ve been standing outside the door all along, because takes him no time at all to collect the papers from Hades’ hands. “File them with the rest. Get up.”
It takes me a moment too long to rise from my seat, which earns me a scowl that makes goosebumps rise up and down my back. What now? I allow myself to think it. I don’t allow myself to say it. The rest of me quakes as I stand waiting for Hades to do...whatever it is he’s going to do. There’s not enough air in the room. Now is when it happens, isn’t it? Now is when he takes whatever it is that he wants from me. Whatever’s left. I steel myself for a hand around my throat and close my eyes. Soon, he’ll grab me there, and then...then he’ll be in charge. I won’t have to think about this anymore. I’ll just let it happen.
But the only thing that brushes against my exposed throat is a shift in the air as he moves past me, Conor at his heels. They wait at the door.
“Come here now.” I stub my toe on the chair leg in my hurry to get to him. My heart beats so hard and fast it’s like a horse given its head for the first time, racing across an open field. The dress—nightgown—whatever it is—rides up. It’s hard to keep it down in place and follow him at the same time. We take one hallway down to the big open area at the center of his private rooms and make another turn. Down another long hallway. At the end of the hall is a set of double doors, but he doesn’t go through them. He stops at another door, a single one, right before it.
Hades opens the door with the air of a man who has run out of time and patience.
“Go in.”
This time, I don’t hesitate. I’m a little proud of that.
“Your personal maid will be here soon. Don’t go farther than the end of the hall.”
He turns to leave.
“Wait.” I’m still turning when I catch Hades by the sleeve and he pauses, staring down at my hand like I’ve shocked him. My heart has gone off-rhythm. I drop my hand and draw myself up to my full height, though I still feel unsteady. It was one thing to throw myself at him when Decker was dangling from his hands. It’s another to have our names scrawled together on what looks like a very official document. I don’t know what he plans to do with it, but dread pools at the base of my belly. “Where are you going?”
Hades looks at me, blue eyes questioning.
“I have business. Did you think I’d be spending every waking moment with you?”
His fingers in my hair, his laughter in my ears, did you think you were special?
Yes. “No.”
He comes back across the threshold.
“Is this some kind of admission, Persephone? Are you admitting you need supervision in order to hold up your end of the agreement?”
My end of the agreement is to be here. Submission without limits. What else could I do?
“That’s not what I’m—no.” I only thought that you would keep me with you. I should be crying tears of joy right now, or tears of relief, if he’s willing to leave me alone. After the morning I’ve had the last thing I should crave is a rough man’s touch. “I wondered. That’s all.”
“You didn’t wonder anything of the kind, that much is clear.” He’s taken up all the space between us, compressing the air down to nothing. “If you’d thought at all you wouldn’t be wasting my time.”
“What was the morning for, then?” My voice rises, getting away from me. “You left me in that room with those people—”
“With Genie and her team.” It sounds like scolding, and it pisses me off. “You needed their services.”
“They took my dress, and my clothes. Now I only have this, and you’re—you’re leaving?”
Hades puts his hands in his pockets, a heated expression playing slowly across his lips, making its way to his eyes.
“Are you angry because they made you into something tolerable or because I didn’t bother to inspect their work?”
“You don’t need to inspect—”
That’s all I get out before his hand comes down over my mouth, huge and immovable. He turns me as easily as a doll, walking me into the room and over to a four-poster bed. It’s the biggest bed I’ve ever seen. Compared to the twin mattresses we had at home, it’s huge. But Hades doesn’t use the space there. He marches me over to one of the posts and snatches both wrists in one of his hands.
“Up here. That’s it, sweetheart. Keep them up there if you’d rather avoid a punishment.” He laughs, the sound wicked and dark. “Though, if you insist on it, I can always rearrange my schedule.”
I gasp in a breath against his hand and then it’s gone, leaving my lips open to the air. Words bubble up, a hundred questions, a jagged pulse of anxiety, but before I can speak a length of cloth covers my mouth and slips between my teeth. A gag. Hades tugs it tight behind my head, sounding satisfied at his handiwork. When he’s got it tied off he gives it a cruel twist and I cry out against the cloth.
“That’s better.” He strokes down the back of my neck, lifting the extra fabric away from my skin so he can blow a breath against my spine. “Now that you can’t get yourself into trouble with that mouth of yours, you’ll finally be able to relax.”
I let out a wild laugh. Relax? Like this? Holding onto the post of the bed like it could possibly save me? I won’t relax. I would never be able to.
“Now. You were upset that I didn’t pause to appreciate Genie’s work. You’re right about one thing—she does excellent work, even on tough cases like you.” He reaches down and jerks up the hem of the nightgown. It’s thin, unsubstantial, but having it raised lets the slowly circulating air caress the nake
d skin underneath. I have nothing left to protect me. Nothing to keep me from him. He can see everything. Hades twists it into itself so it stays lodged at my shoulders. This is so much worse than being naked. I’d rather be naked. No—I wouldn’t. At least he’s letting me keep this. Which is it? Why can’t I decide?
He gives a sharp slap to the back of my thighs.
“You know better than that.”
At first I don’t know what he’s talking about, what he could possibly be talking about, and then I realize that I’ve clamped my thighs together so hard the muscles are already trembling. I manage to inch my feet apart, caught between wanting to avoid the punishment he’d be so happy to give me and wanting to cling to the very last shreds of my modesty. There are practically none left. I don’t know why it matters, only that it does.
Hades has no patience for this. He pushes one foot between my legs and shoves them apart. Wide. Conor makes a sound, almost disapproving, and appears at my side. My side. Hades turns my face to the side so the dog can see.
“I’m not hurting her,” he snaps. “She’s fine.” Is this what fine is? Hades snaps his fingers. “Go lay down.” Conor grudgingly pulls away. He finds a fireplace. My heart slows a little bit.
“Keep your legs here. Do you understand?”
I nod frantically, feeling the tears leak one by one out from under my eyes. Only—I’m not crying out of fear. I’m not even sure why it’s happening. I could be wrong. It could be fear. Maybe I’ve stopped feeling it. Maybe this last day has done that to me. Maybe he’s done that to me. Hades works a hand down over my ass and squeezes.
“Good.” His hand is slightly rough and calloused. Every ridge is obvious against my skin as he tests my other asscheek, then unceremoniously spreads them apart. I lean my forehead against the post of the bed and try to keep breathing. My stomach sinks down to my toes, knees weakening. It’s hard to keep my legs spread like this. My thighs ache from the position. He’s looking at me. He’s looking at me there. I thought it was bad before, in the elevator, when he touched me. That was nothing.